Later that day:
"Take good care of it."
Shizuo hugged his precious pillow and handed it to Celty. Shinra joined them next to the ghostly black bike.
"Aw, sure you want to get rid of it?"
Shizuo nodded gloomily.
"Just take it away- for a while. I'll call you when I can get it back."
The plan was to ship the dakimakura to some destination and then retrieve it when Shizuo had come up with a way of hiding it in his apartment without a certain Orihara Izaya finding it. Shizuo wiped a tear.
"I'll come for you!"
That night Celty and Shinra toasted to the newly wed couple and decided to take pics of the pillow. After a few bottles of wine those pictures got posted online.
A few days later:
"Shizu-chan, Shizu-chan! Happy Valentine's!"
Shizuo jumped, blushed and fidgeted. Izaya handed him a platter of home made chocolate cookies and turned. He was wearing the sexy wedding kimono that turned out to have a really revealing slit that showed a generous amount of leg.
Izaya smiled happily. As long as it was indoors he was fine crossdressing and he had to admit that he did look great in the outfit. Shizuo picked up a cookie and started right away.
"What! Vending machine shaped?"
"Oh yes. Face your fears, Shizu-chan!"
Shizuo jabbed a finger.
"You're making fun of me! You're always making fun of me!"
"Not always. And besides, we're playing house, right? That means it's okay to be a bit playful. And to quote the big man, 'Eat this, it won't kill you.'"
Shizuo gobbled a cookie, still suspicious.
"I still think you have a thing for Simon."
"And I still think you're insane so all's good. And you should be happy, do you have any idea how long it took me to make these nice cookies just for you?"
Shizuo devoured the rest of the chocolaty cookies. Izaya was amused. He was about to add something snarky when Shizuo presented him with a document.
"Here. I was thinking- that since we do this all the time- that I should add you to my family registry."
"I just thought- it would be the right thing to do."
"Does this mean I get all of your things if you die?"
"I guess? Wait, are you thinking about killing me?"
Izaya rolled his eyes.
"Paranoid much? By the way, Shizu-chan, love of my life, light of days, heart of my joy-"
"Will you stop mocking me!"
"I was browsing the other day and look what I found."
Shizuo took a step back as Izaya presented the laptop with a picture of the dakimakura.
"Hehe, seems like someone else has one of these…"
"Do you honestly think you can fool me, Shizu-chan? I do that for a living so you might as well give up. To quote you, this is a one of a kind, costume made Orihara Izaya body pillow."
Shizuo hanged his head in defeat.
"Are you leaving me now?"
"Not at all! I'm playing fire with fire. I had this made."
Izaya waltzed to a closet and removed a very large pillow.
"Shizu-chan, behold! It's a one of a kind Heiwajima Shizuo dakimakura. I've been selling these online and made a small fortune."
"How could you do that!"
"Easy, I just took pictures of you after sex and then-"
"That's not what I mean!"
"Awww…Shizu-chan is sad now? What a shame. I was about to tell you that I have enough money for us to go to Okinawa and-"
"Indeed. So rejoice."
Shizuo hugged him and kept on hugging him until Izaya was sure a rib or two was about to break.
"Shizu-chan- let go-"
"This will be great!"
"We can stay in a room under the same surname!"
"Isn't that amazing."
Shizuo kissed Izaya, forcing him to stand on tiptoe as he deepened the kiss.
Up in the sky the Ikebukuro gods highfived.