Well here it is. the last chapter of this lovely story. Enjoy and please review
When they reached the living room where John and Bobby were waiting, dean could hear Sam's breathing quicken and before they sat down on the lounge opposite John and Bobby, Dean grabbed Sam's hand and gave it a squeeze.
He flinched slightly when John shot them a glare but he refused to let go of Sam's hand. John may not like it, but he was just going to have to suck it up because Dean was going to do whatever was necessary to reassure Sam that everything would be ok. Sitting down together, Sam sat as close to Dean as was physically possible without sitting in his lap and squeezed his hand in return.
John watched them practically cuddling on the lounge and felt anger rising in him once more and swallowed down another shot of alcohol to calm himself. Awkward silence thickened the air as no one was willing to be the one to speak first.
Bobby rolled his eyes and muttered about stubborn Winchesters before giving John a swift kick to the leg. John rolled his eyes at Bobby's not so subtle urging and clicked his tongue absently as he struggled to find the words he needed.
"Ok. Let's start from the beginning. What exactly is going on here?" John finally managed to ask, gesturing between Sam and Dean. Maybe if it was a recent thing, it could be stopped.
Sam shifted uncomfortably and refused to meet John's eyes and he hated himself for it. He hated disappointing John, he just hid it better then Dean. And the overwhelming disappointment in John's face was crushing him.
"Well…" Dean stuttered and cast a side glance at Sam. "We're lovers. We are in a sexual relationship."
John was silent once more and Dean could see a vein throbbing in his forehead before he swallowed yet another shot.
"How could you Dean?" John whispered, never taking his eyes off the coffee table.
"What do you mean, how could I? You're acting like I forced Sam into a relationship." Dean yelled, insulted.
John's eyes snapped up and pinned Dean with a look that made him shiver.
"You may as well have! How old were you Dean? How old were you when you decided to fuck your little brother? Better yet, how old was Sam? Five? Six? Or did you at least wait until he hit puberty?"
"Do you really think I'm capable of that? Forget incest, do you really think I get turned on by children? How fucked up do you think I am?"
"Fourteen." Sam whispered.
"What?" John snapped, seemingly have forgotten Sam's presence.
"I was fourteen when it started. I started it, wouldn't take no for an answer. Dean was never that comfortable with it, he was even worse when we were younger. But I kept pushing. Took me months to convince him I really loved him. If you're looking to blame someone, blame me."
Dean couldn't suppress a smile as defiant Sam came back and timid, scared Sam disappeared.
John stared at them in shock. Fourteen. It had been happening right under his nose. All those nights sleeping in the room next to Sam and Dean's when they were children, what had they been doing? How could he have been so blind?
"Fourteen? Are you fucking kidding me? What could have possibly made you think it was ok to have sex at fourteen? With you're fucking brother!" John exploded, anger finally bursting to the surface.
"We never had sex! I wanted to, but Dean refused to until I turned seventeen, all we ever did was make out." Sam rushed in to defend Dean.
"Don't lie to me Sam!"
"I'm not lying!"
Bobby sighed in irritation as he saw the conversation getting out of control and Sam and John beginning to lose their tempers. He sighed again and stood up which drew attention to himself.
"That's it! Time out! Sam, Dean, stay here. John, in the kitchen."
"Don't treat me like a child." John growled.
"I'll stop treating you like one when you stop acting like one."
Dean watched as John left the room in a huff, taking the Jack Daniels with him.
"I'll calm him down, you two idjits figure out the rest of your story." Bobby said to them.
"You're taking this awfully well." Sam pointed out.
"I'm old, not stupid. It's not hard to see."
"You never said anything."
"What you two do behind closed doors is your own business."
Bobby smiled at them before following John into the kitchen with a sigh, knowing John wouldn't be pleasant.
Sam leaned back against the lounge and closed his eyes.
Sam snorted in mild amusement and rested his head on Dean's shoulder and breathed in Dean's scent and allowed the unique smell of Dean calm him.
"Do you know how many nightmares I've had about this over the years? All the different ways dad could find out and the screaming matches that would follow. Never could have imagined it would turn out like this though." Sam admitted, staring across the room.
"I know what you mean. I'm surprised I'm still breathing actually." Dean mumbled in agreement, running a hand through Sam's hair.
He smiled when Sam hummed in pleasure. Nothing could make Sam melt quicker then playing with his hair. Dean used his nails to scratch at Sam's scalp and took great enjoyment in the way Sam nuzzled into his neck like a puppy.
"What do you think dad's going to do?"
Dean thought for a moment, twirling a piece of Sam's hair around a finger absently.
"Scream a bit more, might throw something."
"You don't sound very worried."
"I'm terrified Sam, but realistically what can dad do besides have a major temper tantrum?"
"He could call the police. Incest is illegal." Sam pointed out.
"Yeah, well so is half the shit in the boot of dad's car. I think the cops will be more interested in the half dozen illegal weapons dad's got then two adult men allegedly having sex."
Sam smiled grimly and huddled closer to Dean. Dean lifted a arm and tucked Sam in close to his body, draping the arm over Sam's shoulders.
"If dad walks in on us like this he'd have heart attack." Dean said but made no move to remove his arm.
"I don't really care. I know that it's hard for dad but I'm not going to pretend I'm ashamed."
"Do remember when we were kids?"
"Hmmm?" Sam was a little startled by the change in conversation.
"do you remember when we were kids and we were always sneaking around, trying to find a place to make out without dad finding us."
"Yeah I remember." Sam smiled fondly at the memory.
"And all the times we nearly got caught because you kept trying to jump me when you thought dad was looking." Dean teased.
"That wasn't my fault. I could barely be in the same room as you without getting a boner." Sam pouted cutely.
"Neither could I, but I managed a bit of self control."
"Of course you did! You were twenty, I was still a teenager and therefore allowed to be a hormonal mess."
"You're still a hormonal mess."
Sam smacked Dean playfully on the leg with a smirk. "Jerk."
"I love you." Sam whispered suddenly.
"Love you too." Dean replied, kissing Sam softly on the top of the head.
"I'm so tired." Sam mumbled, the warmth of Dean's body and the heartbeat thumping against his ear sending him to sleep.
"Have a nap then. I doubt dad will have anymore to say to us. Right now he's probably drinking himself into a stupor right now."
Sam allowed his eyes to drift shut as he was lulled to sleep by Dean's even breathing.
"Sleep sounds perfect."
Dean smiled as he heard Sam's breathing become softer and more even and he knew Sam was asleep because he could hear snoring coming from the scruffy mass of brown hair laying on his chest. God how he wished he could follow Sam into the abyss that sleep offered but he knew one of them had to be awake when John decided to come out of the kitchen or when Bobby let him out.
However knowing something and doing something are two different things. Sex always made him sleepy and that combined with a general lack of sleep was making it impossible for him to stay awake.
"Maybe I could rest for just a few minutes."
Dean rested his head on top of Sam's and he knew that his neck would ache later due to the awkward angle but at the moment he didn't really care.
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"Do you act like a jackass on purpose or does it just come naturally?" Bobby asked sarcastically as he stormed into the kitchen.
John rolled his eyes and came dangerously close to pouting.
"For once in your life Bobby shut the fuck up." John growled, resting his head in his hands.
"I'll shut up when you start acting like a adult! What the fuck is wrong with you John?"
"I'm sorry? Did you just ask what was wrong with me? After what he just heard, you're asking what wrong with me?" John asked, voice becoming louder with each moment.
"I'll admit it was a awkward moment, but starting a screaming match with Sam didn't help!"
"Why are you yelling at me? Sam started it!"
"Sam started it? What are you, twelve? Do you hear yourself talking or do you just tune in and out?" Bobby asked incredulous.
John didn't answer and just started drinking straight from the bottle.
"You're gonna end up drunk." Bobby warned.
"Alcohol will only make things worse."
"Do you know what I want Bobby?"
"Me to shut the fuck up?" Bobby guessed.
"Yes. But what I also want is to drown myself in what's left of this Jack Daniels and if I'm really lucky, I will forget that this night ever happened and this will turn out to be nothing but a bad dream." John mumbled.
"John you can't pretend forever." Bobby pointed out sadly.
"Oh I know. However I can at least stay in alcohol induced denial for a few days."
"Fine! You want to be a stubborn ass, go ahead!" Bobby growled, growing tired at John's whining.
Bobby left the kitchen in disgust at John's behaviour but stopped when he saw Sam and Dean asleep on the couch together. He couldn't contain a soft smile at how cute Sam looked tucked up against Dean.
It reminded Bobby of when Sam was a child, all scruffy hair and pouting lips. He would never understand how John had not seen what Sam and Dean had, it was obvious to anyone who had eyes. Bobby knew he should wake them, they'd regret sleeping on the lounge in the morning when their necks were aching but he didn't have the heart to wake them, so he left them on the lounge and headed up to his own room and hoped that with a good nights sleep and a new day, things wouldn't seem so bad.
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Dean moaned as pain lanced through his neck as he moved his position slightly. Cracking a eye open he ventured a glance around him. He cringed in anticipation at the light he was sure was about to assault his eyes and frowned when nothing happened.
Opening them completely, he realised it was till dark. Judging by the musky coloured sky outside the window, morning was only a few hours away. Paying more attention to where he was, he winced when he noticed his arm was numb from Sam's death grip.
Carefully he begun trying to remove his arm without waking Sam which was turning out to be harder then he had originally thought. After a few minutes of trying he finally managed to retrieve his arm and slide out from under Sam.
As he swung his legs to get off the lounge he hit his knee on the coffee table and had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from swearing loudly and all that escaped him was a small whimper.
"Son of a bitch." he whispered when he reached the kitchen and was far enough away that Sam wouldn't hear him.
Wincing he rubbed his knee, trying to sooth away the pain.
"You shouldn't sneak around in a house full of hunters."
Dean spun around quickly and nearly had a heart attack when he saw John sitting at the kitchen table. Breathing heavily he swore again as his heart beat against his chest.
"Fucking hell dad! Don't do that!" he whispered harshly still aware of Sam sleeping in the other room and careful to keep his voice down. "What are you doing up so early?"
"Never went to sleep." John answered simply.
"You've just been sat in the dark drinking all night?" Dean asked, worried.
Dean had just realised that he was very much alone with a pissed off, drunk John which was putting him slightly on edge.
"Not all night. I ran out of Jack Daniels around three o'clock."
"Well that's good."
"Why don't you sit down?" John suggested, kicking the chair across from him out so Dean could sit down.
Dean wanted to decline but something in the way John was looking at him told him that wasn't an option.
"Sure." he muttered uncomfortably, lowering himself into the chair and sitting stiffly on the edge.
"Do you love him?" John asked unexpectedly.
Dean looked up startled at John's question and for the first time since he and Sam had been caught, he looked at John in the eyes.
"Yes I love him very much."
"Doesn't it bother you? The fact that he's your brother?"
"Everyday. A part of me hates myself for what me and have done and I know if there's a hell it's where I'm going." Dean replied honestly, relaxing against the chair.
"Then why do you do it?" John demanded to know.
"Because I love him too much to let him go. When we were younger, I was terrified that I might be forcing him into doing something he didn't want to do in order to satisfy my sick desires. But now I know that he loves me as much as I love him." Dean explained softly, he had never voiced his childhood concerns to anyone before, not even Sam knew the true extent of it.
"You may love him but you know it isn't right and it isn't healthy. This can only end badly, what are you going to do when Sam wants a normal life? He can't have that with you." John pointed out.
Dean glared at John, angry that he was highlighting Dean's worse fears.
"Don't you think I know that? I know I'll never be able to give Sam the life he deserves, but I also know that no one will ever love him as much as I do. And if the day comes when Sam wants to stop then I'll go back to being nothing more then his big brother."
John watched him carefully and realised with a jolt that Dean was telling the truth. If Sam hadn't wanted it, Dean would never have touched him because Dean loved him too much to hurt him.
"Nothing I say will change anything will it? I can't stop you two from being together."
John nodded slowly and leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.
"I thought so."
"So what are we going to do?" Dean asked.
"I love you and your brother but I just can't be around you two knowing what I know. Maybe when I've had time to deal with it, preferably a few years, I'll be able to be around you two but right know it's too hard."
"What are you saying?" Dean asked confused.
"I'm leaving and you might not see me again for a while." John explained.
Dean smiled grimly and he wished that it didn't have to be that way but he also knew John could be taking it a hell of a lot worse. He was just glad that John was kind of accepting it and didn't hate him and Sam.
"You're leaving now? What do I tell Sam when he wakes up and you're gone? And Bobby's gonna be pissed that you walked out in the middle of a hunt."
John frowned at Dean and then looked at him like he was a stupid child.
"As everyone continues to tell me, Sam's a big boy. And there's no hunt." John said slowly.
"What? But Bobby said…"
"Bobby's full of shit. There's no hunt, he just told us that to get us all together."
"How do you know that?" Dean demanded to know, angry at being lied to.
"I knew as soon as we interviewed the wives. I know a real hunt when we see it." John shrugged.
"And you didn't think to let me and Sam in on the secret?"
"I needed to know what you and Sam were hiding. If either of you knew there was no hunt you would have left."
"What the fuck is wrong with our family?" Dean muttered more to himself then to John.
"Lets not open that can of worms." John mumbled, standing up.
"Where are you going?"
"To pack my shit. It's time for me to go."
"I'm sorry you had to find out the way you did." Dean apologised.
"Yeah me too." John said as he walked out the kitchen and left Dean sitting alone in the dark.
Dean sighed and dropped his head onto the table with a thump. Feeling the cold wood against his forehead he closed his eyes. He thought about the hell his life had become ever since Bobby's 'hunt' had turned up.
"I'm going to kill that man."
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Sam crunched his nose in discomfort as he stretched and his back cracked. It wasn't painful but it certainly wasn't a good feeling. He sighed when his back popped and the pressure was released, causing his discomfort to abate. Careful not to fall off the lounge, Sam rolled over and had every intention of falling back asleep despite the ach in his bones.
"Time to wake up princess."
"Fuck off Dean."
"Good morning to you too." Dean said cheerfully, sitting on Sam's legs.
Sam moaned when Dean weight crushed his legs and tried to push him off.
"Dean get off! You weigh so fucking much!"
"Are you calling me fat?" Dean pouted playfully and started to bounce up and down, crushing Sam even more.
"Yes! Now get the fuck off." Sam laughed, jerking his legs to try and buck Dean off the lounge.
"That's not very nice Sam."
Dean threw a leg over Sam's thigh and straddled him, scooting up to sit on Sam's stomach. Sam opened his eyes fully and glared at Dean for pinning him to the lounge.
"Dad will have a heart attack if he sees this." Sam warned.
"Dad's gone Sammy. Left early this morning."
Sam's smile dropped instantly and looked up at Dean sadly. "Does he really hate us that much?"
Dean smiled grimly and gently stroked Sam's hair and tucked it behind his ears. "He doesn't hate us. He just needs time to deal." Dean mumbled, trailing a soft finger down Sam's face.
"Do you think he'll ever be able to look at us again?"
"Yeah I do."
Sam smiled and leaned up to capture Dean's lips in a gentle kiss. Dean kissed back and his tongue begged for entrance which Sam immediately gave. Their tongues duelled together, both battling for dominance which Dean won. Eventually they pulled away but just enough to breathe. They were still close enough that they shared the same air.
"Can you two not do that in here?" Bobby growled.
"I thought you were okay with this?" Dean frowned.
"I am. doesn't mean I want to see you two with your tongues down each others throats."
"Sorry." Sam mumbled sheepishly.
Bobby just grunted and continued into the kitchen.
Dean turned his gaze back to Sam and began running a finger up and down Sam's chest..
"Hey Sammy?" he drawled.
"Yes?" Sam asked suspiciously.
"Do you wanna….you know." Dean wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"We are not having sex while Bobby's in the house!" Sam whispered harshly, shocked that Dean would even suggest it.
"Fine." Dean pouted and sat back, looking at Sam sadly beneath his eyelashes.
Sam sighed and rolled his eyes as Dean made a big show of pouting and generally looking pathetic. It didn't take long for Sam to crack.
"But that doesn't mean we can't do it in the Impala."
Dean smiled broadly and moved quicker then Sam had ever seen him move and before he knew it, Dean was pulling him towards the front door, keys in hand.
"Where are you two going in such a rush?" Bobby asked, poking his head out of the kitchen.
Sam opened his mouth to lie but Dean beta him to it.
"Sam said we could have sex in the Impala because he doesn't feel comfortable doing it while you're in the house." Dean explained excitedly.
"Well thanks for considering me." Bobby said dryly, pulling his head back into the kitchen.
"Dean!" Sam yelled, slapping Dean hard on the arm.
"Oh come on."
Dean pulled him towards the door before stopping.
"Left the condoms up in the room." Dean explained, spinning around quickly planning to run up to the bedroom to get them when Sam stopped him.
"Don't worry about it."
"We don't need them. Don't worry about it." Sam said softly, a blush covering his cheeks.
"Really? You sure?" Dean asked, excitement charging through him as the though of Sam finally trusting him enough to have sex without a condom.
"I'm sure." Sam answered confidently, still blushing.
"Well then. Let's go." Dean smirked, although for some reason he was nervous.
Sam smiled and took Dean's hand in his own. "Come on, before we have to continue the hunt."
Dean smiled and wondered if he should tell Sam the hunt was fake. Probably the best thing to do.
"Enough talking Dean! I'm horny!" Sam whined and pulled Dean out the door.
Oh well, I can tell him later.
"You're right. It can wait." Dean shrugged, following Sam outside happily.
He watched Sam walk towards the Impala, swinging his ass the whole way and throwing cheeky glancing over his shoulder.
"Oh yeah, life is good."
hope you liked it.