So this story actually came to me in a dream, literally. I had a whole dream sequence, and this is how it happened. I hope you're not expecting too much, though. It's very short.
Please review and tell me if you liked it/if you want me to write more short stories like this.
Warning: Drug and sex references. This is a very depressing story.
I was standing with Blaine under a tree in the school yard. We were holding hands, and everything seemed alright.
"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Blaine asked me, concerned.
I lowered my eyes, trying to avoid Blaine's gaze. I knew I would probably give in if I tried to look into those hazel eyes, "Yep."
"mmkay," Blaine said. I wasn't sure if he was actually convinced, but he didn't seem to care anyway.
It had been going on since we first started dating. Blaine had been kissing other guys. I know you are probably thinking 'Dude, that's horrible!' but we both came to this agreement. I'm not ready for… that kind of a relationship, and Blaine, well he has cravings that he needs to satisfy.
I supposed I wasn't really comfortable with it. But I just went along with it. I cared too much for Blaine to let him be disappointed.
The next day, I walked in on Blaine kissing this random guy. I felt my heart sink far down into my chest, and hit the ground. The guy was middle-aged. He had a sort of scruffiness feel to him. His eyes were bloodshot, and I'm pretty sure he was doing drugs. He smelt terrible, and I think he might have even been homeless. Blaine pulled away from the make-out as soon as I walked in, but he still licked his lips like he wanted more.
"Kurt, uhh-" Blaine said, a little shocked at my unannounced arrival, "Hi."
I didn't know what else to do. What could I do? I just backed out of the room and ran down the corridor, hating myself for knowing that those hot, angry tear were flowing down my cheeks.
I could hear Blaine running after me, but I didn't want to stop. I didn't want to turn around. I just kept running until I was back in my room, and flung myself into the bed before burying my face into the pillow.
"Babe," I felt Blaine's hand on the small of my back, "We've been through this."
I sat up. "I know," I blubbered, "I'm sorry, I'm being silly, it's just that-" another sob. "I never actually thought about it. That you would be you know, doing that."
Blaine smiled. I hated that he was taking the whole thing so light-heartedly. "What do you think kissing is?"
I couldn't say anything, so I just shrugged, playing with the corner of my pillow.
I know I had said I was fine with it. I said I was fine, but I wasn't. I could literally feel my heart trying to rip itself out of my chest. It was merely hanging on by one string. I didn't even want to know what would happen when that string broke.
This kept on going for another 2 weeks, I still wasn't comfortable going to that side of a relationship, and Blaine seemed happy enough fluffing around with whoever this guy was.
"You smell like smoke" I said, scrunching up my nose as I sat next to him one afternoon in class.
Blaine shrugged, "It's probably just Ray. He's a smoker."
I cringed, "and you kiss him?"
He hesitated, "Well, you know that when I asked you about all this back when we started dating, I meant more than just kissing?"
It hit me like I just had a pound of ice cubes dropped on my head. The image was disgusting. Blaine, my Blaine being all wrapped up in… in that hobo's arms. And… Ew, this 'Ray' guy. Yuck, he's naked. But Blaine's there with him.
I shook my head to rid of the image. I could feel my features strain as I tried to keep a poker face. "Oh," was all I said.
The second time I walked in on him was worse. It was in his room. I had just wondered over to pick up a calculus book, and… "OH." The image from before. It was real. And it was in Blaine's bed.
I ran from the room, and this time, I don't even think Blaine bothered coming after me.
Tears flowed from my eyes and I could feel that last bit of string, the only one that was keeping my heart in place, break. It felt like someone had just clawed their way into my chest and just yanked my heart out. Then of course they must had burnt it, trod on it and flattened it before ripping it into little shreds.
My brain was going at a million miles per second. I didn't even think about it, I went straight to the science lab, ripping my shirt off as I went. I probably left pieces of fabric behind as I went, but I didn't care.
It was after school hours, so there was no one in the classrooms, and all the lights were out. I ran straight to the supplies cupboard and grabbed a scalpel. I pulled my ipod out of my pocket and hit the play button.
"Teenage Dream" started sounding around the room, and I scraped the scalpel across my chest, releasing all my pain and anger as I ran a deep cut through my skin that I had taken such care of for so many years.
Now every February
I kept on cutting, making deeper marks and feeling the warmth of my own blood running down my chest and stomach.
You'll be my valentine
I went over to the supplies cupboard, and pulled out multiple ingredients. Being one of the A grade Science students at Dalton, I knew how to make a solution that was strong enough to take out my own life.
Let's go all the way tonight
I looked at the cup I now held in my hand, barely able to see it because of the tears that were clouding my vision. Well, here's to never having to feel that kind of pain again. I swallowed the whole flask in one go.
No regrets, just love
The pain spread through my chest, and I collapsed onto the floor. My breath was growing short and my chest was getting heavier. I could hear knocking on the door, but I didn't say anything. I was happy going to sleep. Finally being at peace.
We can dance until we die
The door opened, and I felt a pair of hands on my chest. I flinched a little at the touch to the open gashed that were now along my chest. I didn't have to open my eyes to know it was Blaine.
You and I
"Kurt! No, no, no! KURT! Please, Kurt! Please don't go!" Someone cried out. I thought it was Blaine's voice, but then I smiled at my own stupidity. Why would Blaine be here? He doesn't love me at all.
Will be young forever
"I'm sorry, Kurt. I'm so sorry," someone sobbed. I blacked out.
I could hear an annoying beeping sound coming from somewhere nearby. I groaned. Is this what heaven was like? Was I dead yet? I could still feel the stinging in my chest from where I had cut myself, though. Something was not right.
I opened my eyes, and saw another pair of eyes looking straight at mine.
Hazel, beautiful, but red and wet.
I took in Blaine's face. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, and had just been constantly crying. The tear stains down his cheeks were proof of that.
"Blaine?" I croaked out, "What's wrong? Are you hurt."
Blaine broke out into a series of sobs, "Kurt, you should have told me what this was doing to you," he gushed out, "I'm so sorry, I should have never let it happen. I have no interest in that other guy at all, I even paid him to do stuff for me, I just, I never thought it would hurt you this bad, and I never got to tell you how much I love you. It's just not right and-"
"Wait," I interjected, "You… you love me?"
Blaine smiled half-heartedly, "Of course I do, Kurt. I love you with all of my heart and all of my soul, and this whole thing was just a stupid idea. I only ever want to be with you. Forever."
My heart skipped a beat, I could hear it on the monitor. "I love you too, Blaine."
He leaned in to kiss me, and my whole world just snapped back into place. Suddenly, I could see colour and I could breathe properly.
"Blaine?" I said, as we embraced.
"Mm?" He croaked, still not quite able to talk.
So, that was my little depressing one-shot.
While I was writing the part with the song playing, I had this (www.) (youtube) .com/watch?v=tMlkUDdXp8c&feature=player_embedded [copy, paste and remove the brackets] in my head. It's so beautiful, and almost so sad.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it, and it didn't make you feel too miserable. Please review 3