Tlaloc's Hell Day
A strange thick aroma filled Tlaloc's nose in the morning. Opening his heavy eyelids, the shaman's eyes shifted from left to right with little to no thought, for he was in a subconscious state. His brain didn't detect a potential threat or peculiarities. He then slowly let his eye lids shade his tired eyes from the early morning sun's rays.
About five minutes later, The smell was getting stronger. Tlaloc quickly re-open his eyes, his brain now fully awake. He focused silently on nothing but the thick heavy aroma. His first and only thought was…
Something was burning in the kitchen!'
He quickly sat up on his bed, violently hitting his head against a suspend lamp in the process. The old shaman growled in pain as he rubbed his throbbing got up and power walked to the kitchen. On his little trip to his destination he began to hear Pin's voice and Needles's mumbles.
"What have these two good for nothing morons done this time?" was his thought.
When the tall skinny dark shaman entered, he saw the two stooge rag dolls running like headless chickens all over the room in a frantic panic, trying to put off the fire they made in the stove. With not a second to waste, Tlaloc casually but violent snatched the bucket form Needles's hands and spray the rocky stove by cautiously dumping the water from inside.
Once the flames died, Tlaloc turned back to face his minions with a grim stare.
"Explain! Now!" he said crossing his arms.
"M-m-m-me and N-n-needles wanted to make you a surprise!" Stammered Pins as he fumbled his thumbs. He wanted to say something else but he didn't know how to explain in a manner worthy enough for Tlaloc to fully understand the situation.
"Yes and?" pressed his master seeing that he was hesitant to continue.
"W-well, we tried to cook you a breakfast as great as you."
Tlaloc winced a bit for being compared as a… burnt meal. Pins soon noticed it and quickly try to correct his choice of words.
"Hun, of course the burnt part was not in the menu! It was a-a-a an accident! Hehehe" laughed Pins nervously
The dark shaman gave a cold empty glare at the dolls.
"Don't EVER! AND I REPEAT! EVER! Use my kitchen again! Is that CLEAR?"
Pins and Needles both fearfully shook their heads in agreement.
Then Needles raise his arm for a question.
"What is it Needles?" asked Tlaloc in a somewhat irritated tone.
"Mh mmmhmhmm mhmhmh mhm!" He mumbled
"Needles says he likes your pajamas." translated Pins in a casual tone.
Tlaloc raised an eyebrow and took a look at himself. He just realized he was still dressed in his red nightgown and cap. ( it had a cute little pompom on it.) He was a little bit embarrassed but as the great evil shaman that he is, he had to hide his emotions.
"Oh." was the only word that managed to escape his mouth. "Thank you Needles" he replied formally as he turned to leave the kitchen. Unfortunately, one of his toes hit the corner of the door.
Pins and Needles broke a sweat and felt shivers at the sight of the pain.
After getting dressed and have eaten a breakfast made by "HIMSELF" Our favorite villain spend most the morning reading a novel in his library. The man was not in the mood for doing any evil schemes today. Even if he wanted to make one, it would be a matter of time before Jibloba's foolish apprentice come and ruin everything.
His peace was broken by a knock of the entrance's door. Sighing heavily, he put aside the book, got up from his couch and went to answer to the one who dare disturb him in the middle of an epic battle between a mage and a flame monster.
When he opened the door, a kid, around the age ten stood before him. He wore a green sleeveless tunic and brown sandals. His messy rusty colored hair mostly covered by his oversized Green Beret orned white with a huge eagle feather.
A Scout! and great juju knows how he "HATES" those vermin.
"Hello sir!" began the scout "I'm from The Eagles of Courage who are gonna be competing at the sand-surfing tournament at Numa Dunes next week! And we would like you to support us by coming to the tournament wearing one of our cheering badges!"
With that, the kid took one from his little pouch and shown it to the tall dark man.
"They are nice! Aren't they?"
Tlaloc stared at the badge then back at the boy in the eye.
"Not at all!"
The old Tlaloc let out an annoyed snort.
"That's the most foolish thing i ever heard!" He bellowed. "You foolishly believe that these stupid little rocks will help you win a foolish tournament!"
He snatched the badge form the child's hand and took a closer look.
"Tsk! I don't know who make these but he/she don't know the difference between an eagle and a duck! And there's an autograph error in your stupid team's name!" He scolded.
With that being his final word, using dark magic Tlaloc destroy the object under the eyes of the child who let a gasp of horror.
"I whish a humiliating defeat to all of you!" He continued "And if you or one of your friends come and disturb me AGAIN! You will met the same fate as your meaningless pebble!"
"MOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYYYYY!" The scout start crying. streams of tears ran down his face as he scurried away.
Tlaloc rolled his eyes as he watch the scout disappear from his field of vision.
"…I hate kids!" he took a step back and slammed the door shut so hard he caused a bit of dust to fly around.
Fifteen minutes later, Tlaloc was disturbed again but this time by the ringing phone.
(( I know that they don't have phones in Tak's world but just for this story we make an exception))
"Ugh ! What now!" he said as he angrily sat up from his couch once again. He headed to answer it. Tlaloc practically snatched the phone and slammed it to his ear "Who are you? What do you want? And if it's for your idiotic vacuums again, i will sue you for harassment!"
"Huh?... What's a Va-ku-hum?" said the man at the other line with his quite peculiar accent.
"AWNSER MY QUESTION!" shouted the dark shaman.
"Hey! Hey! Calm down sir! I found your number on the phone booth were like everyone's numbers are!" Yelled the man defensively
"Sir? Are you still on the other line?" asked the stranger.
"What do you want?" Tlaloc grumbled
"Let me introduce myself! I am Doctor Feel-Good and my job is to call people randomly to share with them my relaxations techniques. And by the tone of your voice sir, I'd say maybe you'll be interest to give it a try?" the doctor made a light chuckle.
Tlaloc let out a heavy sigh. The day had started quite horribly for him. Perhaps, listening to this guy's therapy won't hurt?
"Alright then!" He said in defeat "But i warn you if I have to do various yoga positions, I will hang up be for you can say Mama say mama sa amakusa!
"Doooon't worry sir! MY techniques are not based of this nonsense!" said Dr. Feel-good "Now let's start! All you have to do is to take strong and deep breaths. But…We're gonna add a little magic touch!"
"And then?" Was Tlaloc's only reply.
"You have to say a special word after you inhale and after you exhale. Is that simple enough!"
"… What's the word?" Tlaloc said in a mono tone voice.
"Well… You'll see, I have problems pronouncing it. But, I can spell it for you. Take a pen and paper please!" The doctor said in a most ecstatic voice.
Tlaloc picked up a pen and a paper next to the phone and start writing the word the doctor spelled. Once finished he put down the pen and took a better grip on the phone.
"Okay! I got it!" Tlaloc said with a slight change in tone of voice.
"Sweet!" squealed Dr. Feel-good with glee. "Now give me your best shot!"
Tlaloc take a deep breath and said the " magic word" calmly
« Hama Nidyoth. »
« Hama Nidyoth. »
« Hama Nidyoth. »
« Ham…. »
Suddenly, the doctor suddenly burst of laughter.
"What's funny sir!" boomed the confused Tlaloc, but what he found more confusing is that he can hear someone else laughing along with the person at the other line. And then…an awkward silence took place.
Doctor Feel-good had hung up his phone.
"Hello? Doctor?" after not getting an answer, Tlaloc hung up his phone getting even more bewildered.
"What in the world makes him laugh like that?'
After a moment of thought, he looked back at the word scribbled on the little paper. Then his eyes grew wide of anger when he figured the REAL meaning of this.
"GAAAAHHHH ! I CAN'T BELIVE I'VE BEEN HAD!"
Meanwhile in the Pupanunu village…
Even a while after they hunged up the phone, Tak and Lok were laughing out loud, their faces beet red.
"I can't believe we got him so easily ! HAHAHAHAHAHA !" Laughed Tak.
Lok was the most cramped of the two. He was banging the table with his fist, weeping of laughter.
At that moment, Jibolba strolled in, wondering why the two tribes men were making such noise.
"May I know what's so funny boys?" asked the old man with a frown.
"We made Tlaloc called himself an idiot!" answered his young apprentice after a struggle to calm himself just enough to speak.
"HIGH-FIVE LIL'BUDDY !" Lok shouted.
The two pranksters did a high-five and start back laughing. Jiblobla only watched them with a blank stare.
Now, back at poor old Tlaloc…..
Instead of searching for the morons whom make fun of him. Tlaloc decided to calm himself by taking a walk outside.
A rather wiser choice.
This really helped. He never felt so relaxed before. Half an hour later after all his negative thoughts were gone, he walk back to his hideout. His mind now at peace…..
But not for long…..
Suddenly, eight monkeys jumped from their tree and without warning, they tackled Tlaloc like football players. Knocking him out momentarily . Once he regained consciousness, he saw the very same monkeys playing a few feet away with his bird skull hat. They start running as soon as they spotted their old and angry victim standing up and running toward them.
"Give that back stupid animals!" He boomed
They ran around in pointless circles for three minutes until Tlaloc realized something …
"Wait! Why am I running if I can teleport myself! I'm the biggest moron!"
Tlaloc stopped running and with a " POOF" he disappeared and emerged from thin air in front of the thieves who almost got a heart attack from the sight of him suddenly standing before them.
"Give me back what you stole form me, NOW !" He exploded.
Shaking in fright, the monkeys moved closer to give him his fancy hat, but before the dark shaman's fingers attempted to grip his possession, the monkeys nervously threw it in a nearby gap. Tlaloc's eyes widened and teleport himself just in time to catch it before it fell.
"HA! YOU THINK YOU COULD TRICK ME! NICE TRY! You flee infested tree rats!"
He laughed then… he noticed his feet were not touching the ground. He fell, screaming while the primates laughed their butts off after a big « SPLASH » was heard.
Tlaloc got his head out of the water and coughed and weezed like a sick dog. He stood dumbfounded for a few seconds, relieved that there were a lake at the cliff's bottom. He put back the decorative bird skull on his head and let out a tired weary sigh.
"This hell day couldn't get any worse…" He muttered
The dark shaman turned around and suddenly froze in fear.
A young woman in a swimsuit was watching him like death was going to steal her very soul. They stayed frozen in place for a few seconds until…
"YOU PERVERT!" she screamed.
" No! it's not that you think!" Tlaloc tried to explain.
"GET OUUUUUT !" the maiden wailed
Tlaloc's eyes grewt wide for the hundred time this day as she took out a massive club form nowhere.
Twilight started to rise when our poor Tlaloc managed to crawl his way back to his hideout. All beat up form his unlucky encounter. He gripped the doorknob and struggled to get up.
"Home sweet home!" he said with a sigh
He entered, then close the door behind him and slid down on the floor exhausted. All he wished for now was to lay on his bed and forget all what happened today.
Unfortunately for him, the authoress of this fan-fiction had one more idea in her crazy mind. ((Mwuahahahahaha! XD))
The living room's lights suddenly went on and a bunch of people around Tlaloc's age came out from random furniture.
"SUPRISE ! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TLALOC!" They shouted throwing confetti at a confused and dumbfounded Tlaloc.
"Aww c'mon Tlaloc! Don't pretend like you don't remember us! We were all friends when we where kids!" said one of them.
The old shaman frowned at them. He always had been a reserved guy. He couldn't have THAT much of friends!
"Sorry But I never seen your faces before! And today is not …"
"Bah! It's not a big deal!" Interrupted a slightly chubby figure he snatched Tlaloc by the arms and started dragging him along.
"Now, let's play Pin the tail on the Rhino!"
Way later in the night, everyone left the hideout like a bunch of kids on sugar. The one whom had a so called "birthday" in which was unwillingly celebrated watched them leave. A party hat on each on his bird skull's horns.
He had now MORE THAN ENOUGH. His every last nerve and temper was super saturated in agitation.
He gritted his teeth, face turning red as berries and hands flexing into tight wall busting fists. Shaking with rage, he roared at the top of his lungs…
"IT'S NOT MY BIRTHDAY!"
Some birds flew off, frightened by the outburst.
Tlaloc tore up the party hats and hurled them to the ground. He then gave the "coup de grâce" by burning them to a crisp with his magic.
With the cones, now a pile of ashes, he step back and slammed his door shut.
Pins and Needles were doing some clean up around the living room. They started panicking when their master pointed an angry finger at them.
Sadly for the two animated dolls, they didn't get the time to escape and Tlaloc grabbed both by the necks during their attempt to flee.
"You're the ones who planned this FARCE!"
"NOT AT ALL!" wailed Pins "While you w-were away, those guys came from nowhere and we weren't be able to chase them off they wouldn't leave!"
"MMMMHHH MMH MMH MHHH!" muffled Needles.
"Needles says we're telling the truth!"
"…." Tlaloc didn't seem to be convinced but with a sigh, he released them.
"I will believe you… for just this once! Now, clean up this mess!"
He said, heading for his bedroom. Pins and Needles both happy for not being ripped into shreds, get back to their cleaning jobs.
Tlaloc fell on his bed, his energy completely drained and his pride at its' lowest level. This was the second worse day of his life (the first was of course when Tak turned him into a sheep.) But tomorrow, being the victim will be a part of the past.
Tomorrow, He'll get back as the dark shaman feared by everyone. Well almost every one…. End.
Fini ! Whew! It's been long but i finally manage to finish this story. I hope you all enjoyed it. Don't forget to click the review button and telling me your opinion. It be really appreciated ! Fun fact ! The book Tlaloc was reading had a little reference to "The Lords Of The Rings" in case you didn't noticed it . I just couldn't resist adding that joke. XD