Congratualations for choosing this Unit for a purchase. To ensure your 'Safety' and long life, we would like you to read this manual fully.

Age: 21

height: 194 cm/6.36 feet

place of manufacture: moscow, russia


(1) piroshiki

(5) Apple babkas

(2) long coats

(1) scarf (unremovable)

(1) lead pipe

(2) swords

(1) russcat

(3) rabbits

(3) baltic puppets


KolKol mode: Scarier than being run over by a train, trust us.

Cold war: Ummm... nuff said, just run if he sees an Alfred F. Jones Unit.

Happy: Default, has a few scary points but HEY IT'S RUSSIA.

Sword fighter: any other unti with a sword will bring this mode out.


1) play the starspangled banner at any volume.

2) Put russcat on his face.

3) poke him... HARD (beware it's bassically suicide)

Q. and A. Session (of Doom!)

Q: my unit is chasing my brother with a pipe... what do I do?

A: well you say to Ivan "brat you will marry me." if you're a girl. but if you're a boy I suggest going MANgary on him, and hit him with a frying pan.

Q: my russian is tiny what do I do?

A: oops, we sent you a Chibi-Ivan by mistake... if you wait a while, he may grow up.


no way will he bathe WITHOUT first recieving a meal from you.

Clothing, you can either pick or he will pick it out himself.


None, and don't touch his scarf or he will BREAK YOUR WRIST!