The Beautiful Man



"Hi it's me, Sakura. I'm just calling to say hi."


"This is Sakura. I wanted to tell you I had a good time the other day. Well it was last Saturday, and it's now a Thursday- anyway- Did you lose my number? Call me back."


"OK, so obviously you're not in, but would you want to grab some Ramen at Ichiraku's? Maybe around 7? See you? Call me!"


"Will you turn that thing off already, teme?" Naruto exclaimed, taking time off from his precious black-ops game to throw a pillow at him. "She calls and calls and calls." -Naruto struck a girly pose- "'Hey, it's me, Sakura, the obsessed fan girl who's driving you're room mate off the wall. Call me.' Jeez Sasuke, you're such a prick. If you'd warned me earlier, I would have roomed with Kiba and his dogs."

Sasuke Uchiha sighed, exasperated. He didn't even bother to fling a comeback to the dobe. He was just tired. Ever since the date from hell, he found that he was stuck with a pink-haired tumour. She's been walking back and forth the coffee shop he worked in seemingly with no intention of going in to order. She's been calling him religiously everyday. She even gotten ahold of his address and sent him a basket of muffins. She was beginning to appear in his nightmares. It was crazy. She was crazy. This could go on indefinitely until he was crazy too. Sasuke Uchiha stared off into space unaware he was thinking out loud, "How do I get rid of her?"

Naruto turned his swivel chair to face him. His hands formed a steeple. "How do you deal with every other girl you want out on?"

"I ignore them."

"Wrong. You see that will only make you more mysterious. Girls dig the whole mystery thing. She'll only want to bother you" -Naruto leaned in and poked him- "and therefore me" -he pointed at himself- "more."

Sasuke snorted. "You should know. Where you go, girls run the other direction."

"Exactly. Now listen, do you want this girl to go away?"

Sasuke nodded reluctantly.

"Then here's the plan. Tell her you're gay."


"Tell her you had a good time, but you're gay."

"You're kidding."

"This way she'll have no hard feelings. You'll save yourself another month from being stalked. You know the logic behind it?"

"Naruto, you idiot."

"The only reason a girl would be able to think of about your lack of interest is because you're gay. Once you put it out there, she won't contradict herself. Call her up, tell her you're meeting up with her, then drop the bomb. "




"Sakura again. I know this is like my hundredth call,but no biggie. I would have thought you'd call up, but you know-"


Naruto shrugged, already turned back to the computer to unpause his game. "Suit yourself."


"This guy is so perfect, Hinata!" Sakura told her with a mouthful of chocolate cake. "He's cute, he's smart, and he even pulled my chair back for me in the restaurant. Do you know how many guys do that?"

Hinata squirmed in her seat. She was uncomfortable with how shrill and loud Sakura was being. She prayed Ino would come soon after the SOS message Hinata sent her.

"That's right. No boy does that anymore. No boy is an effin' gentleman anymore. I struck out. The only problem is he doesn't want to call me. Why is that Hinata?"

What would Ino say? Hinata thought. "No, Sakura. It isn't you. It's him. You're beautiful, strong, and independent."

Sakura pointed her fork at her. "Save the crap, Hinata. It was probably because I forgot to smize like Cosmo said. We could have been perfect together, Hinata. He's hot. I'm hot too; although I do feel less hot now. Did I lose hotness?" Sakura tried to smize at Hinata but ended up squinting perversely at her.

Sakura's hair was going every which way. Her face was also covered in crumbs and chocolate. Combined with the weird thing she was doing with her eyes, she looked more disturbed than hot at the moment. Hinata decided to change the subject. "Where's Ino?"

"I don't know. Where is that bitch? Even she won't take my calls. Oh wait a second, I think she's ringing in" Sakura rolled her eyes as she fumbled in her pockets to retrieve a pink, fake-diamond studded phone. "Ino, you whore, it's girl's night."

Hinata watched her friend's face freeze. She pressed something and brought the phone down from the side of her face. With eyes as wide as saucers, she told Hinata with a shocked face, "It was him. He called back."

"Why did you hang up then?"

"I panicked. What should I do now?"

"You should call him." Hinata told her decisively.

"What should I tell him then?"

"Uhm...pretend to be mad he took his time then ask him what he wants?" Hinata told her, reciting an advice from a magazine.

"Ok." Sakura dialed his number, putting the call on speaker phone.

"Sakura?" A gruff voice from the other end answered.

'He answers his phone with my name!" Sakura whispered to Hinata. Then to Sasuke,"Yes, it's me. What made you call?"

"I think I might take you up on that offer for some Ramen. Unless, you made some plans. I'll understand."

'Should I go?'

Hinata shook her head furiously.

Sakura nodded in response.

"He was a jerk for making you wait." Hinata hissed. This time she knew what she was talking about.

"But I think I love him." Sakura hissed back.

"Give him some mystery."

"Like that ever works."

"I can't believe you, Sakura."

"I can't believe you let me eat carbs."

"Hello?" Sasuke spoke through the phone.

Sakura grabbed it off the table. "Nope, I have absolutely no plans except to be with you."


Hinata did a face-palm.


(a few hours later)

"You got to be kidding me." Sasuke told himself as he found her sitting on one of the stools of the ramen bar. His date, unmistakable with her pink hair, wore a little red dress that was clearly inappropriate for the venue. She turned around in her stool and waved at him.

"Sakura, hey..." He greeted her. "You look crazy pretty tonight wearing that in here." He gestured at the greasy table, stools, and humid kitchen fumes.

"You think so?"

"Yeah," He tried to sound sincere because she missed his sarcasm. He took off his jacket and gave it to her as a cover up.

"That's so sweet."

"Yeah..." He repeated awkwardly, not knowing what else to say.

"I didn't really think you'd ask me out to go on a second date," Sakura gave a little shrug. "But you did."

"Ask you out?" Sasuke raised a brow. "You invited me for ramen."

"Yes." Sakura said slowly as if explaining to a child. "But you called me and told me to be here."

"Right." Sasuke told her, scratching the back of his neck. Freakier and freakier every second, he thought. "Listen we need to talk."

"Talk? About what?"

"Well-" Sasuke wanted to be straight with her. He wasn't interested. He was a little freaked out. Would she please not stalk him? He lost the nerve to tell her because she was all dolled up and perky.

"I like you a lot."

"I think I like you more."

Dear God, Sasuke thought horrified.


"There's always a but. Tell me what's wrong with me, and I'll change it." Sakura lowered her gaze demurely. "You said you like me a lot."

Be straight up or follow the douche-sensei? Sasuke weighed them both hastily. "I'm gay." Sasuke cringed as he said it. She's never going to believe it. She will see through the ploy and throw a fit. I've seen this in soap operas. Damn that Naruto.

"Oh." Sakura nodded as she digested the information.


Sakura giggled. "Well it does explain a lot."

"It does?"

"Well yeah. I mean I can't believe I thought I loved you." -Sasuke cringed- "I was attracted to you because of I thought you weren't interested. Now, come to think of it, I did detect signs."

"Of course you did. I hope you're okay with it."

"Well how can I not be? It's who you are." She touched his hand with a look of compassion. " I'm mean I'm pissed because stuffed myself into this for nothing."

"Sorry about that."

"My gay-dar must be pretty weak. My friends are going to bust a gut when I tell them." Sakura laughed, pounding a fist on the table.

Sasuke nodded. In his mind, he was already planning to pay Naruto back. The dobe had finally done him some good.

(a/n: or so he thought..)

A/N: If the story does well, I'll be publishing the second chapter later this week or the next. Hope you like it. Keep posted :D