~Black Star High~
Chapter 3 – Fangirl Number Two
Gohan knew he shouldn't panic, he knew he should just stay calm. He also knew that this was a chance to snag a fangirl. But for the life of him, he couldn't stop his knee's from shaking after he landed on the roof one morning.
She was a soulless ginger after all.
"Uh, hey. Nice...weather we're having?"
"It's been alright I guess."
Okay...no need to panic. She kinda looked like a ditz in all honesty. Maybe she hadn't discovered her soulless powers yet.
"Say, you come up here often?"
"Not really. You?"
"Oh, every now and then. It's nice up here."
Oh...she was good at countering pickup lines. Very very good. Now, Gohan was a knowledgeable fighter. And if he had learned one thing over his years, it was to know when to cut your losses. He just couldn't possibly win over a soulless demon like a redhead.
"Well, I'm heading to class. See ya later." And with that Gohan rushed downstairs. Angela however turned to look on as he ran down.
Thinking to herself, she couldn't look away from the spiky haired teen. She started to blush as all the thoughts of corrupting his adorable little mind began to flood her two braincells.
As class began, Gohan's mind wandered off to try and come up with a way to win over the girls of the school. They sure were proving a challenge. Besides Videl and that tub top, none of them would really even speak to him. Crazy women. Didn't they know a main character when they saw one?
Even worse was that Videl, that one girl that would follow him wherever he went, wasn't even a fangirl. Just some creepy ninja stalker who wouldn't leave him alone. Talk about a horrible start to world conquest.
Maybe if he wore his outfit Bulma made for him more?
But for some reason people kept calling him that weird name whenever he changed into that. Did they seriously think he was some other person or something? No...they couldn't be that stupid. Of course they knew it was him.
Finally the teachers words reached the saiyan's ears. He had to blink a few times, wondering why the teacher was inches from his face. "Sir?"
"Oh, so that's how its going to be? Think you're too good to listen to me, huh? Well, let me tell you something. Only Sharpner's that good. Ya hear me?"
As the blond a few seats down smiled confidently, Gohan stood up in protest. "Oh come on. Sharpner? Really? But I'm the mai-"
"Enough! You can go stand out in the hall if you think you're all that."
As the entire class laughed at the new kid, and while Videl...sneezed?...Gohan slumped off towards the halls.
"And if you think you're so tough and cool like Sharpner, holding these heavy buckets of water should be a cinch. Can ya feel your shoulders burning Gohan?"
"Ohhh ya. I definitely can feel the burn. But isn't putting students through physical abuse against the law or something?"
"Law? In Satan City? The only law around here is Videl. You going to stop me Miss Videl?"
"I rest my case."
Grumbling, Gohan stood out in the hallway holding the buckets of water that were suppose to be heavy.
It was then that the unthinkable happened. Angela's case of fangirl advanced far past that of just a simple fangirl. She went even farther than the stage of a stalker...she became...!
A crazed fan-artist.
If your not running for cover now, you should be once you remember she's a ginger.
Abruptly, the woman stood up. "Mr Madison, I'm going to the hallway now."
"Stay back, foul beast!"
Soon enough, the girl was in the hall, silently stalking her unsuspecting pray.
"Please don't let the ginger be talking to me, please don't let the ginger be talking to me."
"Dammit! … I, mean...hello?"
Quick question to all you readers out there. How do you get a ginger's mood to change?
"You got punished, huh?"
"Well...if you call this a punishment. I could've done this for hours on end when I was two."
"Oh, you don't have to act tough to get me to like you."
"...huh? But I'm not a-"
"Say, wanna go out tomorrow!"
"Who are you? I don't even know your name! Have we even ever met before?"
"You think I'm ugly, don't you! You're so mean Gohan!"
Answer: Wait twelve seconds.
"W-What? Mean? But I was just asking what your name was!"
"You're horrible! No wonder no one likes you!"
Now that kinda ground on Gohan's gears. "Fine! I'll go out with you tomorrow!"
Answer Correction: Wait...make that five seconds.
"Yay!" The redhead quickly jumped up and down happily. "You can come pick me up at one!"
Gohan just looked at her, his mouth slowly sliding open. "My god...What...have I done?"
"Maybe if you're lucky you'll get some sugar afterwords too!" said the blond, giggling the whole while.
All Gohan wanted to do was run. But her eyes...her soulless eyes, froze him in place. His hand moved up as his mouth dropped more and more...only for a cold bucket of water that he had forgotten he was holding dumped all over his side.
"Haha! Aww, look. You're wet already!"
Gohan just looked down at his soaked pants. Of all people, his first date had to be with a ginger?
"Hey Mom, I'm home."
"Oh ya? How was school? You get a girl friend yet? Any proposals? Possibly rich wives? Where are my grandchildren god dammit!"
"Actually, I do have a date tomorrow..."
"About time. You're what...17? 18?"
"We counting that year in the Time Chamber?"
"Then I'm 17. But to be honest I don't think it will work out."
"Why's that? She ugly or something?"
"Well...she's a ginger..."
Chi-Chi dropped whatever it was mothers do and turned around. "Are...you going to be okay?"
"If push comes to shove I'll just become a blond. I should be fine then."
"Do you even know what to do on a date?"
"Well...no not really. This is my first one after all."
"Sigh...I can remember my first date with Goku..."
-Many Many Years Ago-
"So...a date is a type of food, right?"
"No you...well, yes it is but that's not the point."
"Then what is the point?"
"You're the boy, so you're suppose to try to coax the girl into doing the most pleasurable thing imaginable."
And yes, that's the actual dialog in the show. She was what...ten years old at that time? Between her outfit and her knowledge about the birds and the bees, I'm guessing the Ox King wasn't the best father figure a person could hope for.
"...oh! I get it. The most pleasurable thing..."
"The hell are you touching!"
"But you were acting like you wanted it."
"I've changed my mind, I don't want it suddenly."
"But you kept leading me on! Like hell I'm gonna stop now."
"Ra-...I mean fire! Fire!"
"Oh stop struggling all ready! Hiya!"
And with one solid punch, Goku indented the tree. And the two pre-pre-teens fought for the rest of the day...
"Why do kids keep having sex at younger and younger ages? It's disgusting! How do they even know about this crap?"
"Just wait... Your son just asked for dating advice...and you basically told him to go for broke? On the first date no less?"
"Eh, it should be fine."
"But she's a f-ing ginger!"
"Hmm, good point. But do they even make protection strong enough to hold up to that kind of punishment?"
Gohan resorted to his last hope, and pulled out his picture of a crab that he always carries. "Sebastian! What should I do? If you can't give me good advice, I might actually get killed!"
"Darling its better, down where it's wetter~"
Trunks turned around, looking up at the sky as the faint sound of yelling reached his ears. "Huh?"
Gohan gulped. Okay, it shouldn't be that bad. Just a quick little date and he'd be free of her. Now just do what mom and dad did on their first date, minus the sex, and I should be fine. And if she breaks out her ginger powers, he'd just bring out his blond powers.
"Right, lets get to it then."
"Holy crap! That dude just punched that chick's face off!"
"Its okay. She's a ginger."
"Oh... Never mind then."
Gohan sighed as he walked out of the large hospital building. It wasn't his fault she didn't dodge. The doctors didn't have to be that uptight about it.
Suddenly, an explosion rocked the area.
"Holy crap! What was that?"
Turning around, the hospital he had just been in had suddenly been consumed in flames. Gohan was quickly surrounded by a large crowd right under the building-
-because that's obviously the safest place to be-
-and he was able to hear them talk.
"They say a ginger was admitted, but the doctor didn't notice till it was to late. He wasn't able to administer the sedative, and she woke up!"
"Oh my god! We gotta get out of here! She'll kill everyone before she's done!"
Gohan gulped. Looked like a good time to get out of here.
And that was when he noticed a yellow jet-copter fly over the building. Crap. His fanbase currently consisted of Videl and that crazed ginger. He couldn't let all of his fans die today. He needed at least one. Dammit all.
Up in the sky Videl was currently talking to her new pilot. "Stop being a pansy and just land all ready!"
"No way Videl. Our weight would bring the building down. We can't help em if we're dead!"
"...did you just call me fat?"
"You did! You just called me fat!"
And now we know why we never saw this pilot again.
After one killed pilot later, Videl jumped down onto the building and rushed over to a water tank conveniently placed right there for her. Rushing over, she quickly grabbed the wheel to release the water but was surprised when she was burned by the hot metal.
Wario's cousin, Russian Wario was on site for the sarcastic remark. "Ya, wesa didn't see that-a coming."
In a flash, Antenai-sama-sensei-sam-suma-sensei-kun appeared next to Videl. "Careful! Always make sure to check metal with the back of your hand to see if they are hot before grabbing a hold."
"Save the public announcement and release the water!"
And with one punch, Gohan opened a giant hole in the water container. Instead of just covering the roof of the building and then flowing off, the water went down floor by floor, flooding each room and putting out all the fire. Yes, that's right. That one tiny little water tank somehow contained enough water for that entire skyscraper, including the elevator shafts.
Take that logic.
But once again Antenai-sama-sensei-sam-suma-sensei-kun had saved the day. And by saved the day I mean saved the ten or so floors that were suffering from fire damage by inflicting ALL the floors with water damage.
Later on, Gohan was making that hasty retreat had had been planning on making. Needless to say he didn't get that far.
"What are you doing here? What on earth are you warring? Do you like yellow or something? Does yellow make people look slimmer? I look slim right? Do you think I'm fat? You think I look fat, don't you!"
"Its sad...if you only had red hair I could keep these ginger jokes going cause of your personality."
"Please. You'll be thankful that I don't have red hair when I get you into my bed. I wont gag you, just tie you up."
Before Gohan and Videl's little exchange could finish...flames from the depths of hell shot up from behind him. Slowly turning...he saw the last thing he wanted to see.
"Ahh! She found me all ready!"
"Who's she? Have you been cheating on me Gohan?"
"Now is neither the time nor the place Videl."
"You have, haven't you! What's her name?"
"Thats the thing! I don't have a god damn clue!"
Angela...that's her name, right? Anyway, the redhead, let the flames behind her lower to a small simmer. "Videl? You've been running around behind my back Gohan! Prepare for your punishment..."
"Well...it doesn't sound that ba-"
"Your GINGER punishment!"
"Dear merciful Dende save me!"
Videl took a confident step forward. "Back off redhead. Gohan's mine to torment."
"Nu-uh. This hunk of man is mine!"
"Ladies...ladies. There's enough Gohan to go arou-"
Both of them turned to look at him. "Shut up and wait there!"
Gohan did the only thing he could think of to save himself now that they both were pissed at him. He had to activate his blond powers. That was the only way. And so, he let out a epic battle cry...
...only for his hair to fail and not get up for him. Talk about embarrassing...and infront of two girls too.
In the battle that ensued, Videl took on the ginger. The planet rumbled. The town was nearly reduced to rubble...but at the end of the day...
Girls with pig-tails are scarier than gingers after all.
This chapter was not easy to twist around. Lots of chances for sexual jokes though, so I had to make due. Forgive me gingers. Its not that I hate you, its just that without that running gag this chapter would have totaled out at 800 words. Like I said, this chapter did not give me much to work with.
I wanted to fit a Dance with the Devil song reference in there too. I guess that'll have to wait for Dabura. Anywho, remember to review!