Knight in Prada Armor

Santana had swagger. Ever since she'd read Brittany's essay, she'd been just a tad on the smug side. She'd even (briefly) considered buying the replica of Aragorn's sword and wearing it to school. She'd decided against it ultimately, but she was still a little cocky. Which is why, when Mr. Schue asked for solo volunteers, she confidently raised her hand.

"Santana?" Mr. Schue asked. "Really? You're up for this?"

"Completely. I secretly love Prince of Egypt, and I know all of the lyrics to all the songs, and if any of you tell anyone I will end you."

As the rest of the class laughed, Rachel raised her hand. "Mr. Schue—"

"God, we all know you want the part, Rachel…" Finn said.

"Actually, I was going to say that I vote for Santana for this," Rachel said quietly. "And, if she's up to it, I think Mercedes should have the other part." She looked around the classroom at all of the shocked expressions. "What? Their rendition of River Deep, Mountain High was fantastic. Their voices blend really well, and I think they'd do the song justice. And with your habit of feeding my showtunes obsession, it doesn't really seem fair to deprive Santana of the opportunity to sing the theme to one of her favorite movies," she added with a smile.

The room was still for a second, save for Brittany's nodding. Then, Puck stood up and walked calmly out the door.

"Where's he going?" Artie asked.

"No idea," Mercedes said, "but I'm totally down with this plan, if it's okay with you, Mr. Schue."

"More than okay," he said, smiling. "I'm looking forward to it. So, we've got our solos for When You Believe. Let's think about one more song, but something not as…heavy. We need something fun—something that'll get people out of their seats."

The class started to hurl ideas at him. Santana suggested Bottoms Up, and volunteered for Nicki Minaj's part, but Mr. Schue declined. As the list of suggestions grew longer (everything from This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race to Buttons by the Pussycat Dolls), Puck walked back in. He was wearing a heavy winter coat.

"What the hell, man?" Finn asked, confused.

"Rachel Berry just suggested someone else for a solo. Hell has frozen over."

Even Rachel laughed.


Even though Santana was making good on her promise to watch the director's cuts of the Lord of the Rings movies, she had to insist on a break after the first one. "We'll just watch the next one tomorrow, and the last one on Sunday."

"But Santana," Brittany whined. "We can't watch one tomor—" She stopped quickly, looking wildly around.

"Why?" Santana asked, putting the DVD back in its case.

"Oh…umm… because Rachel's helping me with my English project."

"You can build a replica of Minas Tirinth while we watch the movie," Santana said, officially confused.

"No, San. I can't concentrate on both!"

Santana nodded and walked into the kitchen to grab two drinks. She'd play along for now, but no matter what people thought, Brittany wasn't stupid—she could definitely build a marshmallow city and watch a movie at the same time. She went back into the living room, quickly developing a battle plan. Two things, generally, worked with Brittany—bribes, and outright coercion. Yes, those were two separate things. She sat down next to the blonde and wrapped her arms around her waist. "I don't think you're being honest with me, Britt."

"Sure I am," Brittany said, leaning back against her.

"No. I can tell when you're lying. Right now, I think you're lying be omission. Rachel might be helping you with your project, but there's something else."

"Call her and ask," Brittany said calmly, as the menu for Two Towers came up.

Santana huffed. If she couldn't get it out of Brittany, there was no way in hell she'd get it out of Rachel. "If you tell me, I'll take you to Hu Hot next Friday." Lima's only big-ticket restaurant was the Mongolian grill that sat in the middle of town. It was always packed, so Santana tried to avoid it, if possible. Brittany loved the place, though, so it was always good leverage.

"Call Rachel if you don't believe me," Brittany repeated, smirking at the older girl.

Santana pulled out her phone and typed: watcha doin 2mrw nite?

A moment later, Rachel replied: Helping Brittany build Minas Tirinth out of mini marshmallows. Y?

Santana sighed. There was no way Brittany was telling the whole truth. The two must've talked about this before. She typed: Just wondering. Hangin w/ Britt now. Come over for LotR?

Rachel replied: No. Doing family stuff. See u 2mrw.

"Finally. She's learning to text…." Brittany said, looking over Santana's shoulder.

"Why is she going to see me tomorrow?" Santana asked.

"She probably figures you'll be here when we're working."

Santana stared at Brittany for a moment, but the blonde was engrossed in the exploits of Legolas, and she didn't get another word out of her.


Pretty, pretty please don't you ever, ever feel like you're less than fucking perfect. Pretty, pretty please if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me.

Santana grabbed her phone and slid it open. "Queen B here," she said.

"Really Santana?" Rachel asked, laughing.

"I knew it was you," Santana said. "How's the marshmallow project going? Brittany eating all of your building tools?"

"Actually she's sick," Rachel said. "She's having migraines or something. So I thought you and I could catch a movie, or something."

"Damn straight, I'm taking you to see Sucker Punch."

"Puck said you've seen that five times already!"

"Emily Browning never gets old."

Rachel laughed. "I'll pick you up in fifteen," she said, and hung up.

Santana got ready quickly and went downstairs. After making sure the alarm was on, she went out to the porch and locked the door. Sitting on the swing, she passed the time by playing Ninja Jump on her phone. She was about to beat her high score when a text came in. "DAMN IT!"

Look up was all the message said.

She did, and gasped.

A black stretch limo was parked by the curb. The driver had stepped out and opened the door facing her. Rachel was inside, waving and grinning.

Santana walked, open mouthed, to the car. When she slid inside, she found her voice again. "All this for the movies?"

"Happy birthday!" Rachel said, handing Santana a bag.

Santana had completely forgotten. It had been so long since she'd actually celebrated her birthday, that she probably wouldn't have realized that she was 17 until Brittany had told her. She took the bag. "So that's what this is all about!"

"I know you said you didn't want anything," Rachel began to explain in a hurry. "But we're friends now, and I think you should have fun on your birthday. Open your present."

Santana pulled out the mountain of tissue paper and found a box. She took one look at it and cracked up laughing. "This is priceless!"

"It is, in fact. I had it custom made."

It was a Barbie. Tan, with shoulder-length black hair, and wearing black armor. Her accessories were a sword, and a shield with the Prada logo on it. There were also two framed pictures of princesses—one with blonde hair, and one with brown. The name read "Santana the Badass".

"I thought you'd get a kick out of it," Rachel said.

"So are we really going to the movies?" Santana asked.

"No. Kurt rented out the party room at Breadstix. Brittany's not sick, Mr. Schue made it. Everyone's here. I told them I was going to tell you on the way here, but still act surprised."

The car pulled to a stop a few minutes later. Through the tinted windows, Santana could see balloons, a cake, and Kurt's top hat. She turned to Rachel and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you," she said softly. "I don't…My parents…Birthdays aren't usually fun for me. So thanks for changing that."

Rachel smiled brightly at her. "You're welcome. Now, let's go party!"

Santana laughed and exited the limo. Linking arms with Rachel, the two of them walked into the restaurant.

Being a knight was definitely awesome.

Fin

LbN: Hope you liked it! There will definitely be more PezBerry and Glee!fic in general coming. I love reviews! :)