Revenge is a dish best served as humble pie.


Pairing: Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray

Author: myIllusion

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters-no copyright infringement intended.

Okay, so here we go, the final chapter, including Act III, Scene V: The Rainbow Brigade.

On with the show!

Smut at the very end, involving 'toys'. If you don't like this sort of thing stop reading at the end of the song.


Chapter XLV. "The Rainbow Brigade."

(April, 22, Tuesday evening)

Rachel's Lab Oratory

"It's too crowded in here Berry. We'll never get enough of this brew mixed up if we don't spread out some more, why can't we ask Peter to use his workshop, just for the rest of this week? " Santana was complaining about the working conditions again. Rachel shot the girl a death glare, rolled her eyes, and jerked her head in Quinn's direction. Not so subtly reminding the Latina of Quinn's recent aversion to all things Peter.


Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, Rachel, Quinn and Santana were working this shift. Brittany, Puck, Lauren, Sam, Artie, and Mike were working tomorrow's shift. Rachel was running a production line with a deadline in mind. Brittany was in charge of the other crew, while Rachel supervised the current work force. They had to finish by the end of this week, pouching need to be completed over the weekend, and the final packets assembled. They were running out of time! Darn.

"Are you still riding Peter's ass Quinn?" Santana ignored Rachel's unspoken plea to leave the matter alone. "Give the guy a break already. My God Q. your mother could do so much worse, what is your fucking problem? You love Peter! We all do, so why is this twisting your panties so bad?" The Head Cheerio's Second in Command continued to badger her friend, knowing she was stirring a kettle that was ready to blow.

"Santana…" Rachel warned out loud this time.

"No Rachel, I think it's time we find out, for real, what your girl has up her butt about Peter and Judy."

Kurt, Mercedes, and Tina, pretended to be invisible while tending their pots of bubbling brew. The tension in the room was escalating and they could not afford to ruin another batch because of Quinn and Santana's bickering. Twelve pots on twelve burners in the final stages of refinement were at stake. The formula was Rachel's own concoction; it was tedious to make, and time consuming, but altogether brilliant. Peter had submitted the unique contrivance for a Patent. He concluded that if Rachel really wanted, she could make a zillion dollars if she sold the formula to a responsible company. It was nice to know that if her dream of having a Broadway career was unfathomably unsuccessful, she could support her family with the profits derived from the invention of Pranks.

Quinn still hadn't responded to Santana's needling. Her back was turned to the rest of them. She had taken her burners and her two pots to the little table in the corner by the cleaning materials. What Quinn didn't know, while showing her back to rest of the occupants in the room, was that Santana had flipped the switch to ON, on Rachel's surveillance cameras, and that Peter was in his workshop watching the goings on.

"I just got my mom back." Quinn finally answered Santana's questions to the surprise of everyone in the room. Her voice was barley audible, it sounded kind of wispy, or like an echo, because of all ambient noise created by the roiling bubbles in the pots that were being tended.

"And Peter is like another Daddy for Rachel, and he's been like one to me too…what if it doesn't work out between them? I liked things how they were. I could have them both in my life. But what if it doesn't work out between them? I don't want to lose Peter if they break up. And I don't want my mom to be sad. What if they hurt each other? Not on purpose…I…I… know that neither would do that on p..pp..purpose, but what if it happens anyway?"

Quinn still had her back to the room. It was obvious by the stuttering, and the way her voice was cracking that she was crying, which was a little heartbreaking to watch and listen to. Everyone continued to stir their pots, the bubbles seemed louder and louder and louder, as a vacuum of verbal silence encompassed the group of teens. Rachel was torn between comforting her girlfriend and leaving her pots unattended. She didn't really give a damn about losing her batch, except that reading Quinn's emotions could be tricky sometimes. Knowing when to move in and give her a hug to soothe, and knowing when her girlfriend would not be receptive was a difficult challenge. However, right now, with all the bubbling liquids, and flames, and tears, the current situation was potentially explosive.

The wind outside gusted and howled just as the door to the lab was pushed open. Peter let himself inside, strode quietly across the room, and helped himself to one of Quinn's stir rods. He plucked it out of her hand with ease and continued the stirring motion without a hitch. Now, both of them had their backs to the room, they stirred the contents of the pots together. Rachel, Santana, Mercedes, Tina, and Kurt continued to tend their own pots, they focused their gazes on the task at hand, pretending to be invisible.

"You know what sweetheart?" Peter gently asked the Head Cheerio, his voice was warm and flooded with emotion.


"I'll always love you. No matter what happens… I'll always be your friend, Quinn, and I will always be here for you! Always!"


Quinn continued to stir. Peter continued to stir, but he still managed to lean over and gently kiss the blonde on the top of her head.


"….Sob…sniffle…sob….bubble…sob, sniffle… bubble…sniffle…" (From everyone in the room except Santana)

"Gracias a Dios! Now can we use Peter's workshop? I'm gonna go berserks again if I have to do another shift in this tiny room! Listening to Lady Hummel and Wheezy squee their pants over Orville and Trouty Mouth has made my ears bleed."

"SANTANA!" Was shouted by everyone before the whole room erupted in relieved giggles.

And still, the pots continued to be stirred; the roiling and boiling of bubbles sounded more like laughter now, instead of trouble.

Everything would be okay.


What more could the Skunker possibly accomplish?

That question still reverberated through the mind of a hopelessly sad and terribly angry boy. A boy who had taken to stalking Rachel Berry throughout the school on a daily basis. He didn't talk to her, or threaten her in any way. He just became her shadow, always there, always lurking and staring, and pissing off her girlfriend.

The Cheerio's face was Rage Red, her eyebrow was arched in that way; it communicated very clearly that you shouldn't move, or twitch, or even breathe. Because if you do, her giant stinger will become uncloaked; it will paralyze you instantly and she will devour your soul like a nightmare figure come to life. In other words, Azimo had provoked 'Scary Quinn.'

" 'Zimo! I will not repeat myself again. This is your final warning! You stay the fuck away from Rachel. You're acting like a Psycho Creeper and I've reached the boundaries of my tolerance. Everyone knows how much you hate her, you haven't made it a secret after all, but you're really starting to 'BUG' me with all this stalking CRAP…"

Quinn paused for a moment to allow the tension to build before finishing her reprimand. "And, just so we're clear, before I file a restraining order against your sorry ass, I'll get you fucking expelled!"

Quinn Fabray was livid. L. I. V. I. D. That's Divil backwards, which Brittany informed her earlier in the day was pronounced: De evil.

"He's got 'De evil' in him, Quinn, that's why you're all Lived and squiggidy. I'll talk to him because he doesn't know why he's blaming Rachel for everything. He's scared Quinn, and whenever Azimo is scared he finds someone to pick on. That someone has always been Rachel. You know what else Quinn? No one is letting him be a bully anymore, that's why he's following Rach around…it's coz he doesn't know what else to do."

Quinn agreed with Brittany. Well, she agreed that Brittany could go ahead and talk to Azimo, but that didn't stop her from having a little chat with him herself. So, that's what she was doing. She was talking to (threatening) the surly boy, and he was listening. Sort of. He afforded her a subtle nod, shrugged his shoulders when she was finished and very politely asked her, "Can I go now Q. ?"


The football player was acting so weird. He hadn't threatened Rachel in any way, but he was definitely behaving like a first class Nutter. Quinn didn't think she could handle another incident with a Psychopath. Two (in one year) was quite enough already, which is why she decided to confront Azimo. Again! She wanted to prevent another escalation into violence, but she was really at a loss with how the boy was behaving. Maybe Brittany could talk some sense into him after all. She hoped so because she really didn't want to call Minnie in on this one.

Quinn really wanted to believe in Rachel and Brittany. They both insisted that Azimo was different. Well, different than Stephanie and Nate; meaning they thought he could change, that he was just frightened and confused. Azimo didn't have a support system at home, but maybe, just maybe he could find one at school.

Honestly, McKinley High School didn't magically turn into The Big Eden*. No, there were still plenty of mean and unhappy people. There would always be mean and unhappy people. It was some kind of karmic law or something. One group of big stupid jerks, will inevitably be replaced by a group of bigger and stupider jerks.

But the difference was how the rest of the students reacted to the jerks. Blatant harassment wasn't tolerated in the hallways, or the locker rooms, or the lunchroom. It was no longer okay to push, shove, trip, slushy, dumpster toss, toilet swirly, or viciously disparage another student in front of a crowd. The formerly silent student majority would not put up with it.


Because, not only did Deputy Minnie Sparkle run a super successful anti-hate crime exercise, but she also set up a buddy network. This was accomplished during Rachel and Santana's Community Service. Oh, the girls gave Singing Lessons as was detailed in the court order, but they used this time to implement Minnie's network as well.

Also, because Rachel and the glee club had become somewhat prestigious, the list of students who signed up for singing lessons was overflowing. Rachel was delighted and overjoyed, while Santana reverted to cursing in Spanish. Their first lesson started off a bit unorganized as the two girls couldn't agree upon a teaching method.

"Listen up Hobbie Horse, I got this. None of these zeros can carry a tune, much less identify a key. Do you really think having them practice scales is going to keep them interested? It'll take you half an hour just to get through your marathon snooze inducing lecture. They will flee from this room! You will no longer be BAMF. All that oohing and awing that you have not so secretly come to love…"

Santana paused to demonstrate, "...ooooh…look, it's Rachel, isn't she SWELL. Awwww, Rachel is sooooo DREAMY.' " Her voice was dripping with syrupy sarcasm; the expression she wore could wilt Lucifer's horns.

Santana pulled Rachel into Mr. Schue's office to finish their little pre-class discussion as the choir room was filled to bursting with eager students. The little diva crossed her arms, blinked her overly long lashes, once, twice, thrice; before revealing the longing and sadness within the depths of those deep brown eyes. She stuck out her bottom lip, attempting to disarm the fiery Latina with her irresistible adorableness.

"That doe eyed bullshit only works on Q, Peanut. Although I have to say I kind of get it, because Britt does the same thing to me and she always wins. But guess what Smurfette? I'm immune to your Bambi impersonation, so just listen to me for once in your stubborn fun sized life."

Stomp! (pout)

"We want to keep all of these students in our class Rachel. I know I pretended that it bothered me earlier, but now we have this network to set up for Minnie, and we need these kids to make this work…okay?"


"Okay. You are right of course, Santana, I just got so excited to see so many students wanting to learn how to sing…I..I.. but I completely agree with your assessment. I don't even like to sing scales so that would not have been the best approach. What do you suggest we do?"

Santana smiled approvingly at her friend.

"Let them sing, Rachel. Let them sing the stuff they want to sing. Maybe we'll finally get to have a little fun too, especially because we don't have Mr. Schue in our face clubbing us with his stone age set lists. Let's just have fun, Rach, please?" Santana begged, while charming Rachel with another brilliant smile.

Rachel loved it when Santana called her Rach. To her this was the ultimate form of acceptance and love from the feisty girl. Santana still called Rachel names, occasionally, and teased her about her height, and her wardrobe, but none of the jibes carried any sting, they were more a show of prickly affection.

Rachel liked it best, though, when every once in a while Santana truly let her soft side show. Those were the times when the beautiful girl smiled warmly and openly, like she just had, and she spoke softly without the ever-present edge in her voice. And because such displays were exceedingly rare, they usually succeeded in melting the diva's heart just a little bit. Like just now. Rachel's eyes welled up, and before Santana knew what was happening her arms were full of a teary eyed midget.

"Ay Dios mio!"

And so, Rachel and Santana's Community Service became the most popular extracurricular activity in the school. Everyone wanted in. The girls extended their court ordered schedule by adding two additional classes, effectively creating three two hour sessions a week, instead of just the one that was required. All of their students signed up for the Rainbow Brigade, which was the title Rachel insisted upon for Minnie's network.

It was really very simple. They used Mr. Schuester's hat and dropped an assortment of multi colored bracelets inside. Each student picked a Color and thus the teams were formed: Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, and Violet. Each member was given a box of the same colored bracelets to pass out to their friends, and their friends, friends. A rotating schedule was created so that every day at school, the Rainbow Brigade was in charge of student safety.

The Volleyball teams and Baseball teams had already started a similar program, which they easily merged with the Rainbow Brigade. Soon the Track and Field teams had signed up, the Marching band, the Pep band, the A.V. club, and the Debate Club. In less than two weeks almost every student organization belonged to the Rainbow Brigade.

So, yes, it was very difficult to be a bully at McKinley high school. At least openly. That doesn't mean that students didn't squabble or disagree. It doesn't mean there weren't divisions among groups, but the formerly hateful and aggressive animosity was gone.


A conversation.

"I know why you hate Rachel so much."

Brittany Pierce slipped inside the Janitor's Closet (Rachel's office) and confronted one very irritated Azimo Adams. The football player was seated on one of Rachel's office chairs (an overturned bucket) brooding by himself in the dark.

"What makes you think I give a damn about what you know or don't know Pierce? Get lost. I finally found a place I can sit and not have to be around all you freaks, or listen to you either. Why can't you just leave me alone?" Azimo didn't know it but he was really sad, and really scared. He thought he was angry, and that's how he acted on the outside, but Brittany knew better.

The cheerful Cheerio helped herself to a bucket seat of her own, pulled the chord that was dangling from the ceiling, which filled the dreary closet with soft yellow light.

"You hate Rachel because she makes you afraid doesn't she? Rachel is so small, and pretty, and soft, and cuddly, and smart, and sassy…sexy too. And all those things really bug you don't they? It bugs you because you think she doesn't have the right to be all those things… and so much more. You think she should be scared too. Just like you. But she's not scared, and she never has been, and that makes you really mad.

Rachel's been hurt, and threatened, and insulted, and tormented, and she was never once afraid. She was sad lots, but never afraid. And that just made you even madder, didn't it Azimo? Because you're so scared all of the time. You thought if you could make a big enough example out of someone else, then no one would notice how frightened you really are. You thought if you could scare other people they might not notice how scared you are. And it worked didn't it? You got everyone in the school to let you do whatever you wanted because they were all afraid of you.

Everyone, except for Rachel. You hate her because she's brave, and because she sees the real you… and you just can't have that can you Azimo? She was really nice to you when you freaked out in the hallway. She even knew that you were going to slushy her, but she helped you anyway.

And you still keep trying to make her afraid. Because you think if you could just make that happen, then everything you are trying to deny about yourself might go away. But it doesn't work that way Azimo. And just so you know, no one in this school is going to let you hurt Rachel.

Especially me."

Brittany pointed at herself and narrowed her eyes at the last hold out bully in the school.

"If you think a swarm of Bumblebees is scary Azimo, and I know you really do…" Brittany nodded her head assuredly at the boy to make him realize she was dead serious. "…well, that is nothing compared to the swarms of thingys I will set loose on you. There are other things that sting like bees, but are bigger, and uglier, and faster. Do you really want me mad at you Azimo? Coz, right now I'm not mad. I'm just a little…um.. what's that word? It starts with a P. Perverted? No, that's not right…um…

Azimo was gaping at the Cheerio. He could hardly believe that the biggest bimbo in the school had hunted him down in the Janitor's closet to actually threaten him. Pierce was known for being kinda dumb, but mostly she was known for being kind, and really sweet. She wouldn't hurt a fly! Literally! But here she was, sitting on a bucket next to him, and telling him she was…

"…Petered…um… Putrid…no….PERTUBED! Yay! That's it. I'm really pertubed at you.

Everyone already knows you're afraid of bees and bugs, but you're still being mean? Why? Now that everyone knows you don't have to pretend anymore. You could get some help even. Did you know that Ms. Pillsbury is afraid of germs? Germs are everywhere, and you can't even see them! I mean, if she had her way she would probly live in a plastic bubble like that boy, but she doesn't coz she's getting help. Why don't you let someone help you Azimo? Then you could stop being so mad, and sad, and get really happy. Don't you want to be happy Azimo? I can help you find someone who knows about this stuff. We can ask Ms. Pillsbury who her helper is, maybe they can help you too? "

Azimo felt something in his chest tighten. Brittany Pierce, the schools biggest bimbo, had just psychoanalyzed him. Correctly.

He knew she was right. He knew it by the tingles he could feel throughout his entire body. He knew she was right because suddenly it was difficult to breathe. Was it really that easy? Help? He would love some help. Azimo was so tired and exhausted, and frustrated, he just wanted to rage (or cry) all the time. No one ever offered to help him before, (except for Rachel) or even mentioned that help was possible. No one told him it was okay to be scared. If anything they laughed, and made fun of him because he was afraid of something so tiny as a bug. That was why he tried to hide his fears for all this time. But Pierce was right. Everyone knew now, and they teased him all the time. Could someone really help him? For real?

Azimo wiped his eyes, while Brittany Pierce (the school's most intelligent bimbo) pretended not to see. He sniffled once, cleared his throat and asked the Cheerio for a bit more clarity.

"You just threatened me with a swarm of 'somethings' that are scarier than bees, and a moment later you offered to help me? Make up your mind Pierce. Are you gonna hurt me or help me? "

"Well… I'd really like to help you Azimo, but only if you leave Rachel alone…okay?" The Cheerio bobbed her head encouragingly as the football player finally surrendered.


"Yay!" Brittany exclaimed, before grabbing the boy in a firm embrace, and startling him with a crushing hug.

Act III, Scene V: The Rainbow Brigade

The irony of Rachel's final Scene was not lost on Quinn or Santana. The Color Coder of Cheerios method of chastisement, was now being offered as a reward.

On Monday, April 28, a mass email was sent to the entire McKinley High School community.

Hello to all McKinley High School students, Faculty and Staff.

This is a message from your Friendly Neighborhood Skunker.

I thought it would be fun for the whole school to be involved in one final Scene of harmless foolery before the school year ends. Not to worry, I will return next year if there is a need of my presence. But for now, I'd like to thank you all for the progress we have made toward tolerance and acceptance of one another.

My parting gift to all of you is the choice to participate, or not, in one final act of solidarity. This is an opportunity to show that we, the student body, (teachers and staff as well, if they so choose) embrace our differences and accept each other wholly, without prejudice or disdain.

On the morrow, you may all proceed to the laundry room at your convenience. The glee club (who have assisted me in the past to get my messages out, but in no way have been involved in any of my schemes) will help you in choosing a packet for your participation in this FUN endeavor. The packets will be available for the entire week, as I'm sure that some of you will need the time to think this through thoroughly.

Think your decision through carefully; the effects will last for the entire last month of school.

If you choose to participate you agree to stand up and fight for your rights and the rights of your fellow students. You agree it's okay to be different, to be yourself. You agree it's your right to feel free, and safe at school, and in the world at large. You agree that being true to yourself it the only way to be true and good to others.

If you choose not to participate, no one will hold it against you or treat you less respectfully. This experiment is about volunteering, not peer pressuring.

So, those of you who wish to, choose your packet and join the Rainbow Brigade!

yours truly,

The Color Coder of Cheerios, The Skunker, The Stealer of Pens, The Bard of Bad Poetry, The Tricky Trickster, The Bagger of Bloggers, The Heartless Hacker, The Mutant Messenger, The Sinker of Swimmers, The Master of Mayhem, The Maestro of Madness...

...Your one and only,

True Hearted PrankMaster.


And so, almost every student in the school agreed to dye themselves. A little less than half of the faculty and staff did as well. For this endeavor, everyone got to choose their own color, and as Rachel suspected, the yellows and oranges and browns were the most popular choices. The students were brave, but not that brave. Most of them wanted colors that would fade nicely and not be so bizarre to look upon when they wandered into the real world beyond McKinley High School.

"Here comes another Eggplant…and the Strawberry is quite lovely don't you think?..."

"Uh, huh..."

"…Although, I do think the Pumpkin is just a bit too saturated….ah…there's a ripe Pineapple, and goodness, that vibrant Asparagus Green is just to die for!… Not to be mistaken for Jolly Finn Giant Green, however… oh, and here comes a Turd!"

"Yuk… gross Kurt!" Mercedes punched her friend on the shoulder but followed that up with a wicked snicker.

"I'm sorry for the crassness of my vocabulary, Mercedes, but can you honestly tell me that Jacob doesn't look like a TURD? All the other browns are gorgeous. I was kind of disappointed that I chose the Peach instead, but now that I have seen a Turd, I'm quite relieved that I followed my instincts.

Really, the shade of brown he chose, combined with the shape of his body, and the way he scampers around the hallways; he looks like a Turd that got kicked off the bottom of someone's pointy toed boot."

"Stop! Enough already!…" Mercedes was doubled over in the hallway, laughing uncontrollably at Kurt's assessment of the passers-by. But then, Kurt squealed at a pitch that nearly shattered her eardrums.

"Owwww… have you lost your bloody mind?" Mercedes complained until she spotted THEM.

"Oh…Hell to the f*#k+ g No!…" Mercedes uttered, completely stupefied.

The pair was a freaking Sideshow. From head to fucking toe they were covered in Rainbow swirly patterns; like giant walking lollipops that escaped from Willie Wonka's sweatshop. "Holy Mother of Goddesses!...and Gods, I think…." Mercedes continued to sputter while Kurt had stooped shrieking, but his Peachy flesh was suddenly a little peaked.

Brittany Pierce and Azimo Adams were strolling down the hallway holding hands. Or rather, Brittany was leading a somewhat reluctant Azimo. The two were dyed the color of, well... 'Rainbow!'

Azimo's dye job was more of a challenge than Brittany's because of the difference in their skin tones. They did, however, get very creative with his hair, which was bleached with peroxide, then dyed in rainbow fashion. Also, even though Azimo's skin tone was much darker than Brittany's, it did yield to the 'Patented' formula of Rachel's custom dyes.

Together they looked like the Queen and King of Bizarre-O-Land.

Brittany had been holding out on them. They knew she was spending a lot of time with the football player, and that Azimo's behavior had taken a turn for the markedly improved. But this? This was just incredible and Kurt and Mercedes were not the only two to think so. The halls were suddenly quiet as the Football player and the Cheerio trod along, slowly marching there way to a Berry Blue diva and her gorgeous Golden girlfriend.

What happened next was even more Bizarre-O.

" I want to say something to you Rachel." Azimo shouted in the hallway. Quinn immediately encircled Rachel with her arm and prepared herself for the worst. Every student in the hallway stopped breathing, fearing this was going to be a repeat of Azimo's cray-cray from two months earlier.

" I think you're really nn..n…nice…and I'm sorry I've been so mean to you. I promise I won't be anymore."

" Okay." Rachel replied quietly. She was having a difficult time responding to the boy. He looked a little insane with that freaky Rainbow dye job. Brittany was a sight to behold as well, but Brittany was just Brittany, nothing to be frightened of there.

" And…I…I want to say I'm sorry to the School. This is me saying it. Letting Pierce color me crazy and looking the fool. I'm not going to be that mean boy anymore. That is all!"

Azimo turned on the heel of his sneaker, intending to march back down the hall at a healthier pace, but he felt a tug at his elbow and forced himself to stop. He knew it could never be that easy. Why would anyone forgive him for all the shit he had done over the years? Everyone would still hate him, but he didn't care because he got the important part over; his apology to Rachel.

He turned to look at who was clasping his arm, and found himself drowning in deep brown eyes. She really is pretty, and she looks soft and cuddly, just like Pierce said. Azimo found himself looking at the little diva with new eyes. Although, she did look an awful lot like a Smurf. But still, she was everything that Brittany Pierce described. He could see it in her eyes. The kindness and the warmth seemed to bubble right out of her.

So...Azimo wasn't really that surprised when Rachel smiled up at him, before explaining what would happen next.

"I'm going to hug you now." And then she did.

What did surprise him, however; was all the other kids that hugged him too. He was crying again and didn't even mind, because for the first time in his life he felt like he belonged somewhere.


Where is the Love?

Even with everything that transpired around the events of Gay Day (and Rachel's Scenes of her Play) the glee club managed to squeak their way into the Regional's competition. The gleeks had been woefully unprepared, and sloppy, when they pulled off the tie with Dalton Academy at Sectionals. But they had learned from that experience and were fully prepared for the Regionals competition. Santana and Rachel decided that they would just ignore Mr. Schuester while pretending to go along with everything he suggested.

The real glee rehearsals were held during Community Service. The entire glee club (except for Mr. Schuester) participated in Rachel and Santana's punishment because, well, it was just so damned fun! They practiced Mr. Schue's lame ass song choices during glee, but the real show was being put together during Singing Class.

Their only obstacle was trying to figure out how to change the set list when they got to Regionals. Mr. Schue was in charge of turning it in and they hadn't yet figured out how to usurp his authority. The man was trying, he got points for that, but his song choices were still no better than they had previously been.

They finally decided to just show Mr. Schue that he was wrong and they were right. The two months of Community Service would be coming to an end a week before their competition. So, Rachel convinced Mr. Figgins to allow them a performance in the auditorium; to show the entire school what was learned during their Singing Lessons. The Principal was more than happy to oblige the little banshee's request.

Deputy Minnie Sparkle was invited to attend, as was Captain Gillian Monroe. The Prosecutor, His Honorable Judge, Francis Destrampe, and the entire Sheriff's department. Rachel's Daddys would attend, along with Peter, Judy, and all the parents of the glee club, and Rachel and Santana's students.

There was no doubt about the theme they would be using. The costumes were the real issue. Each of them was tinted a different hue so choosing a costume that would match was turning into a conundrum.

Of course it was Brittany who solved that problem for everyone.

"We look like a Rainbow when we stand side by side, so that's just what we'll be. A giant Rainbow! Everyone will wear the color they are, and we'll all line up in order. Except for me, of course, I'll be dancing up in front, and magicking everyone."

Santana was Bright Red (the new Red Devil Girl, which had been Rachel's intent all along) Tina's color was like a not quite ripe Strawberry, while Mercedes was deep Orange. Kurt was Peach, which was sort of between the Orange and Yellow. Quinn was Yellow (technically Golden). Artie had intended to be Yellow, but ended up a sort of yellowy Lime…ish.

Finn was Jolly Green Giant Green, and Sam was a deep Teal. Rachel was a very Berry Blue, Puck and Mike were both a rich Indigo, and last, but certainly not least; Lauren was Monster Purple. Or, that's what she kept calling her particular shade of Violet. Rachel assured her there was no such thing.

"You are a very deep Lavender, Lauren. Monster Purple does not exist as a hue."

"It Does Too!"

"It Does Not!"

"Does Too!"

"Does Not!"




A whistle blew startling everyone out of the daze they had been lulled into. Watching and listening to Rachel and Lauren bicker had the same hypnotizing effect as watching a tennis volley.

Sue Sylvester marched onto the auditorium stage. She was wearing the Green Adidas today. Rachel thought that choice was atrocious considering the Bright Red of Sue Sylvester's skin tone. She looked like a Red barn wearing a Green field, or a Christmas greeting gone horribly, horribly wrong.



"Something funny Smurfette?" Sue stepped into Rachel's personal space and stared the girl down.

"Why yes, as a matter of fact I find the Barn Red pigment of your skin to be in appalling contrast with the Field Green of your Adidas. I have a sudden compulsion to string you up with Christmas lights and plop a Gold star on top of your head."


"…Snort!…" "…Giggle.." "…Snicker…"

Sue just stood there staring down at the little diva, glaring with all her might and trying not to burst into inappropriate laughter. That little Smurf had moxie to spare. But no, she would not laugh at the impertinent remark. People needed to be kept on their toes. Especially clever little conniving sneaks who had the tendency for rapid head swelling disorder. So, Sue did was Sue Sylvester does best, she administered a dose of: KEEPING. IT. REAL!

"I didn't know Smurfs were fluent in the language of SmartAss. But since you have so clearly demonstrated your grasp of my particular dialect, I will share with you a little advice." Sue paused for a moment allowing the suspense to build up before enlightening the little twerp.

"Don't get cocky kid!"

And with that said, Sue moved on with the reason for her interruption of their practice.

Rachel's expression could only be described as pensive, well, that and her cheeks were turning purple from the furious blush she had going on. She nodded her acknowledgment to Coach Sylvester. Yes, she got the message loud and clear. This was how her life would always be, and she was grateful for the reminder. Think before you speak Rachel! Darn. Her little jibe at Sue Sylvester's ensemble was kind of insensitive, and cocky. What a slap in the face. A slap she needed. Whoa! It was very easy to get caught up in what was perceived as your own importance. Rachel was so grateful she had people like Sue Sylvester, and Santana, and Mercedes and Kurt, but most importantly Quinn in her life; they could always be counted on to keep her head from getting fat.

" The Governor is coming to tomorrow's assembly. Seems he's heard a thing or two about McKinley High and wants to see first hand why we all resemble a hefty carton of Crayola Crayons. I suggest you all stop bickering over your trendy skin tones and start rehearsing the tortuous tunes we'll all have to suffer through. Now… do you need any help? I find I have some extra time this afternoon. My CHAIR is supervising my sixth hour class; it's got the kids doing crunches for the entire hour. My only concern is that Jacob Ben Israel has eaten Weiners and Chili for lunch again."

"Yes Coach. We would very much appreciate your assistance. Thank you." Rachel jumped at the opportunity to get back in Coach Sylvester's good graces. Actually, there was no such thing as being in Coach Sylvester's good graces, but anything was better than being caught in the crosshairs of her line of fire.

And so, the glee club performed for the entire McKinley High School Community, and the Governor of the State of Ohio.

Brad, and twelve members of the orchestra provided the music for all three of their numbers.

Kurt, Sam, Rachel and Quinn alternated singing the leads in John Lennon's, 'Imagine,' for their first song. Mercedes rocked Lady Gaga's, 'Born this Way' in the second piece, but it was their third number that was really the show stopper. It was decided that, 'Where is the Love?' By the Black Eyed Peas was the most appropriate for expressing what this community of High Schoolers was learning about life and love in the real world.

Artie wheeled himself in front of the line of gleeks, who had grown in numbers by forty. All of Rachel and Santana's students joined in for this final song. They lined themselves up according to skin tone. A giant human Rainbow covered the stage with vibrant color, swaying to and fro, emanating a brightness and a lightness that was infectious. The audience of students, teachers, parents and staff started to clap before the music even started. Just seeing the vivid display of unity, of oneness, raised the level of excitement by tenfold.

The song was a mix of rap and pop so Artie and Puck alternated verses on the rap parts. Rachel, Santana, and Mercedes performed the actual singing parts. The rest of the gleeks and the Singing Class students filled in the background chorus of each verse. Brittany's job was to magic the audience with her psychedelic dye job, then dazzle them with mesmerizing dance moves.

(Artie )

What's wrong with the world, mama?

People livin' like they ain't got no mamas

I think the whole world's addicted to the drama

Only attracted to things that'll bring the trauma

Overseas, yeah, we tryin' to stop terrorism

But we still got terrorists here livin'

In the U.S.A., the big C.I.A.

The Bloods and the Crips and the KKK

But, if you only have love for your own race

Then you only leave space to discriminate

And to discriminate only generates hate

And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah

Madness is what you demonstrate

And that's exactly how anger works and operates

Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight

Take control of your mind and meditate, let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all

(Rachel, Santana, Mercedes, Everyone)

People killin', people dyin'

Children hurtin', you hear them cryin'?

Can you practice what you preach?

And would you turn the other cheek

Father, Father, Father help us

Send some guidance from above

'Cause people got me, got me questionin'

Where is the love?



It just ain't the same, old ways have changed

New days are strange, is the world insane?

If love and peace are so strong, why are there pieces of love

That don't belong? Nations droppin' bombs

Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones

With the ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young

So, ask yourself is the lovin' really gone?

So, I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong?

In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin' in

Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends

Not respectin' each other, denyin' thy brother

A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover

The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug

If you never know truth then you never know love

Where's the love, y'all? Come on

(I don't know)

Where's the truth, y'all? Come on

(I don't know)

Where's the love, y'all?

(Rachel, Santana, Mercedes, Everyone)

People killin', people dyin'

Children hurtin', you hear them cryin'?

Can you practice what you preach?

And would you turn the other cheek

Father, Father, Father help us

Send some guidance from above

'Cause people got me, got me questionin'

Where is the love?

(The love)

Where is the love?

(The love)


I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder

As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder

Most of us only care about money makin'

Selfishness got us followin' the wrong direction

Wrong information always shown by the media

Negative images is the main criteria

Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria

Kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema

Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity?

Whatever happened to the fairness and equality?

Instead of spreading love we're spreading animosity

Lack of understanding, leading us away from unity

That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under

That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down

There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under

Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found and ask yourself

(Rachel, Santana, Mercedes, Everyone)

Where is the love?

Where is the love?

Where is the love?

Where is the love?

Father, Father, Father help us

Send some guidance from above

'Cause people got me, got me questionin'

Where is the love?


Sing with my ya'll

(One world, one world)

We only got

(One world, one world)

That's all we got

(One world, one world)

When it was all over the rafters were vibrating from the shouting and stomping and cheering. Throughout the whole performance the audience got up to dance and sway; midway through the song they joined the chorus. The standing ovation lasted fifteen minutes, all the while every person in the room found someone to hug.

The assembly performance was highlighted on the evening news of every channel in the State. Rachel Maddow covered the story on MSNBC the following day. The Governor of Ohio praised McKinley High School's program of tolerance and acceptance. He made an appointment with Sheriff Ricky Berry and Deputy Minnie Sparkle to discuss their anti-hate crime exercise.

Mr. Schuester concluded that this should be their set list for the Regional competition.

Rachel and Quinn

Quinn tucked it on the left side. That felt more natural. Well, as natural as it could possibly feel under the circumstances. She felt a little nauseous, but in a good way. A fluttery way. Quinn was going to surprise her girlfriend for a change. Rachel had been hinting over the last month that she might like to try something new. A very specific something new, which included very detailed fantasies of Quinn being adorned with certain accessories. Quinn had blushed a shade of red she didn't even know existed during that conversation, but she bobbed her head at Rachel in agreement with the notion.

Rachel's Daddys were gone for the whole weekend, which meant that the girls were beside themselves with anticipation. They could have wild sex all weekend long without worrying about pajamas, or vanilla mist, or scented candles. Without the need to dampen their screams. Well, Rachel never did that anyway. At least Quinn didn't think she did. Did she? Oh my God! She wondered what Rachel's screams were going to sound like with her Daddys gone? They couldn't possibly get any louder, or shriller, could they?

The Cheerio was a girly, girl. She preferred to wear sundresses, and sometimes skirts with cardigans sweaters. She liked airy pastel colored blouses, stylish bags, clips, barrettes, and pretty ribbons for her hair. Quinn wasn't much for wearing jeans, although she did, occasionally, wear them on the weekend if she and Rachel were just going to hang around the house. Now, however, she felt it was important to get into this role for Rachel. She knew her girlfriend loved it when she took on a butchy role, which wasn't really that difficult for Quinn. She may dress like a girly, girl, but her overall attitude was that of someone who could and would crush you if you dared to cross her. That hadn't changed very much, except in her interactions with Rachel.

So, the HBIC was dressed to knock the socks off of her little preening diva. The black skinny jeans she wore were practically painted on. Her vest was a deep brown (faux) leather, the buttons were round and silver, but each was inlaid with a gold star gleaming in the center. Underneath the vest was nothing at all, just smooth skin, tight muscles and soft curves. She intentionally wore the belt with the silver mermaid buckle. Rachel hated that little mermaid with a passion, which Quinn thought was ridiculously hilarious.

Her eyes were lined with a rich deep brown, the shadow a golden bronze to accent the coloring of her skin. Quinn had, once again, been dyed Yellow. But this time she was able to request a special order. Rachel blended a little orange with a smudge of brown into the Lemon Yellow formula, which turned the Cheerio's skin into a glowing Golden luster. Quinn quite liked it, but most importantly, so did Rachel.

She finished off her outfit with a thick brown (faux) leather choker and two wrist bands to match. She left her hair loose, and teased into a wild mane. Glancing at herself in the mirror she liked was she was seeing. Mostly because she knew that Rachel would like it. The bulge protruding from the front of her jeans looked a little strange, it felt a little strange too, but also good. The tightness of her jeans was straining on the thing in such a way that… Oh God! The Cheerio decided it was time to head over to Rachel's house before she had a mailman moment.

Quinn showed up fifteen minutes early and quietly let herself in, knowing that Rachel would be upstairs preparing herself for their weekend of debauchery. She snuck up the stairs stealthily, glided down the hall without out a sound, twisted the doorknob quietly and eased the door open.


Ohhhhh, Myyyyyyy, Gawddddd.


Ugh! Crap. Dammit all to HELL, Rachel! And NO! Just No. NO, no, no …

Rachel was waiting in the center of her room, completed naked, except for a fluorescent pink harness and a Berry Blue dildo standing at full attention. The Berry Blue dildo was a perfect match with her flawlessly smooth Berry Blue skin.

"I thought you would be more receptive, Quinn, if I picked a hue that would look more natural… um…er… you know, if it blended in with my current skin tone. I do have an assortment of colors and sizes, but I felt for our first time that…-"

"NO!" Quinn declared with a fierceness that completely baffled the little diva.


"Yes Rachel, I said NO!" Quinn stomped up to her girlfriend, who was stunned into immobility. She snatched at the strap to Rachel's harness, unbuckled it, then tossed the Berry Blue dildo clear across the room.

"QUINN FABRAY!" Rachel exclaimed with indignation. "I'll have you kno…-" But before the little diva could finish her rant, Quinn moved in to silence her. Quinn was kissing her, and kissing her hard. Rachel's thoughts turned into mush once she felt that bulge in the front of Quinn's jeans push up against her.

"Oh.." She mumbled onto soft lips.



Some little time later the girls were fumbling in the midst of their new adventure.

After disrobing Quinn, which was really lots of fun, except for the part when she saw the mermaid belt buckle. Rachel decided that if Quinn could throw her Berry Blue dildo across the room, then she could put a dent in that smugly smirking naked little mermaid!

Rachel really enjoyed slowly unbuttoning the vest that Quinn was wearing and was doubly delighted with the discovery of what was underneath the vest; hard taught nipples begging to be kissed and sucked, smooth golden skin was cast in shadows from the soft light of the candles that glowed upon her desk and night stand.

It took a little while to peel those black jeans off of Quinn's slender frame.

"How did you even squeeze into them? Did you jump into them from a step ladder or something? Is your circulation cut off? I hope your circulation isn't cut off because that would really spoil any pleasure we were planni…-"

"Not helping Rach! Just yank on them!"

" I am yanking on them…"

" …they're fucking stuck!" Was uttered in unison. Both girls broke into fits of laughter with the memory of a similar situation and the early demise of a horrendous pink onesy.

A little while later the pants were finally off and Rachel had the opportunity to check out Quinn's hardware.

Rachel had hinted on several occasions that she might like Quinn to take her with a strap on. And Quinn had agreed. But then nothing happened. Rachel waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, she just decided to take matters into her own hands. The more she thought about the situation the more she decided that she might like to take Quinn instead, which is why she was garbed as she was when Quinn arrived.

But the reason Quinn had taken so much time to fulfill Rachel's fantasy was because she was having her 'implement' custom made! Quinn had commissioned a Golden dildo, which was gorgeously shaped and matched her skin tone beautifully. Her girlfriend had gone through an enormous amount of trouble (and embarrassment) to have the toy created. It was custom made for color, but more importantly, for size; Rachel was a very tiny person and Quinn didn't want to hurt her with something that would be too large.

Rachel was wooed beyond belief! After some heated making out, and curious fondling and grinding, they wandered over to Rachel's nightstand where an assortment of lubes was laid out in a semi-circle.

"Lets go with the Berry." Rachel suggested.

"How about the Cherry? Quinn, countered.

"Um…Berry, I think."

"No really, Cherry."



"If I'm the one whose going to be licking it, I should be the one to pick the flavor!"

"You're going to lick…it?" Quinn asked with wide eyes, her mouth was hanging open.

"Well, um… yes. Isn't that what people do Quinn?… I mean, my research suggested if it's done properly, and the person performing simulated fellatio, correctly combines the angle, pressure, and rhythm, the clitoral stimulator maximizes the climax so that orgasm…-"

"Nananana….nananana….nanananana!" Quinn regressed to childish noises and plugging her ears to block out the rest of Rachel's explanation. She stopped when she noticed that Rachel was silently gaping at her.

"Rachel, that was a total mood killer. This is not a science project!"

"Oh… of course not, Quinn, um… (Snicker)…I'm sorry…."

"… Snort!…"


…Peals of laughter…

Once the debate over the lube was finally settled they finally made it into Rachel's bed. Things heated up rather quickly after that. Rachel, who was just as impatient as ever, was squirming about, moaning and panting. She wanted Quinn to get on with the pleasing and forget about the teasing, so they may have rushed the next part just a little bit….

"...Ooooh…eek…um…Quinn! That is not the proper oriface!"

"Oh My God Rachel! Did you just say ORIFACE? Really?

"Well, you were poking it at the wrong hole, Quinn!"

"It SLIPPED! I told you we were putting too much lube on!.."




...Peals of laughter…

Some little time later, after more fumbling, giggling, and no success at all, the girls just gave up.

"You know what Quinn?" Rachel asked rather distractedly as she was unclasping the buckles of Quinn's rhinestone studded harness.

"What Rach?"

"You know what I really want more than anything in the world, right now, right this moment?" Rachel finished her task and tossed the Golden dildo and its harness onto the floor. Her dark brown eyes scanned the length of Quinn's incredible body with a hunger that set the blonde aflame.

"What?" Was whispered so softly that Rachel almost didn't hear it.

"I want You Quinn. All of You. I want your mouth on my body and your fingers inside me. I want to feel every patch of your flawless skin rubbing and sliding, creating that friction that melts my bones and turns my skin to flames. I want you watching me as I come, and begging me to scream your name. I want to breathe you in, I want to feel your heartbeat racing as I take you over the edge, I want to crawl inside you, I want to kiss you for hours, I want to lick, and suck, and bite, I want to mark you as my own, I want your scent all over me, everywhere, all the time…that's all I ever want Quinn, that's all I ever need, sweetheart… just… you… and...-"

Rachel's words tapered off as Quinn silenced them with her lips. Rachel tasted the salt, she cherished the wet and warmth of the tears that trickled upon her face, mingling with her own. This was all they needed, all they would ever need.

Besides, they had a whole lifetime to try new things.

A whole lifetime.

Sometimes people just get lucky.

They find love in a crowded room with just a single glance.

Or, on the side of a hill in the middle of Winter with a smile and a wave.

It's the kind of love that just exists between people sometimes. Not the kind of love you have to work at most times with everyone else.

The End.

That's all Folks! This Looney Bin Trip is over.

CraZy Rachel got the girl, she finished her Play, she didn't get dead in the process, and she collected a group of very patient, wonderfully loyal friends. Yay!

You're still here, and I absolutely love you all. Big Muah! xoxoxoxo to all of you. Thank you so much for sticking with this story for the almost two years it took me to complete it. Thank you for the generous feedback, astute advice, and tons of encouragement. :))))

Where is the Love? lyrics belong to the Black Eyed Peas. No copyright infringement intended.

(*The Big Eden is a movie where an entire community gets involved in playing matchmaker for two of their beloved members, who happen to be gay.)