Orochimaru groaned, quickly shielded his eyes, and rolled over immediately coming to the realization that he both had a hangover and was somewhere aboveground the instant he woke up. When he rolled over, he felt something wriggling beneath him. After hastily rolling off of the whatever it was, he realized that it was a small red haired child.

Trying to come up with a believable way of saying it wasn't what it looked like and hoping and praying that that was the truth, he turned to face the door that was opening. When he saw the face of the Kazekage in the doorway and realized that the small redheaded creature that was in the bed with him was the man's son, he was torn between fleeing and fighting for his life despite the fact that he clearly appeared to be in the wrong.

"Orochimaru-sama, I must thank you for the service you did my village last night." the Kazekage said, apparently unconcerned with the fact that his youngest child was currently slumbering peacefully in the same bed as the Sannin and only half dressed.

What the hell had he done for Suna? The last thing he remembered was reading that old book on the Sealing Arts despite the fact that that was more Jiraiya's thing and finally understanding it after years of being unable to make heads or tails of it...

70 years earlier:

"Oh, come on. You don't need to put that in the prologue. Everyone knows you have to be either smashed, stoned, or an Uzumaki to truly understand the Sealing Arts."