Author's note: So yes, another oneshot LOL This one popped up in my head when I was studying Dutch Literature (yes, I know weird connection) and I couldn't resist writing it LOL I hope you'll enjoy it! It's actually the same form as my Naruto oneshot Misheard? So if you read that one, you'll know what to expect here ;)
Warnings: crackfic, lame humour, drarry, implied content, but nothing shown. Eh, mostly rated M because of the implied content and language use at some point
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Wish I did though; the books would be more interesting LOL
Have fun with it!
"Shouldn't we have called before barging in?" Remus asked concerned.
James waved his concerns away. "Why would we? I'm his dad and you're his second godfather – calling is overrated in this case. Besides, he gave us a key."
Remus sighed, but gave up. He would put the blame on James if Harry got angry.
They were going to ask Harry for advice on which type of bike to buy for Sirius' birthday. His last one had been destroyed in a fire – thankfully he hadn't been home at the time the fire broke out – and Harry was the only one who shared Sirius' obsession with motorcycles, so he would be able to tell them which type they had to buy.
"James, Draco is home too," Remus pointed out when he noticed the white Volvo parked on the driveway.
Draco Malfoy was Harry's boyfriend since a year. They had met during a course of English literature in the University of Oxford and the persistent Malfoy had bugged Harry for three weeks before the young man gave in and agreed to a date. Two weeks after that, they formed a couple.
Harry lived in a small cottage – courtesy of Sirius – near the university and even though they weren't living together officially, Draco was there often enough to have his own closet and his toiletries in the bathroom.
"So what?" James shrugged and walked past the car, on the path leading to the front door.
"Well, maybe we need to come back some other time – you know, to give them some privacy," Remus hinted.
James frowned. "Why would they need privacy? It's not like they are having sex already," he snorted.
Remus stared at him. "Prongs, Harry is already twenty-two. He's with Draco for a year. Do you really think they won't have …"
"No, they won't," James snapped, glaring. "Harry isn't ready for sex yet."
Remus wisely shut up, letting James believe his own illusions. There was no point going against an overprotective father.
James hummed softly when he stuck the key in the door and let Remus close the door behind them. "Harry?" he called out curiously and frowned when he didn't get any answer. A moment later he heard soft music coming from upstairs and he immediately went to the staircase.
"James, we really shouldn't …" Remus protested.
"Oh, hush already." James rolled his eyes and walked over to Harry's bedroom. The door was open at a crack and James wanted to knock on it, but was stopped when he heard them talking.
"Damn it, Draco, you're not putting that thing in me!" Harry snapped.
James and Remus stared at each other puzzled, though Remus was getting a bad feeling about it.
"Why are you complaining now? You said you would do it!" Draco snapped back.
"That was before I knew it was that huge!"
"We really should go now, James," Remus urged again, beginning to blush. He really didn't want to be here and find out what exactly his godson was doing with Draco. He preferred to keep an innocent image of Harry.
"What's the matter now? What do you think they're talking about now?" James snickered.
"God, I don't know, maybe about sex?" Remus snapped, not wanted to get into more details.
"For someone so smart, you can be stupid at times," James laughed and shook his head. "You know that Draco is studying to be a doctor; he's probably trying to convince my son to finally get that vaccination for the flu. You know how sensitive Harry is to that disease. Draco probably finally got sick of it and decided to give him the shot himself."
"You're going to regret opening that door," Remus predicted sighing and just stepped back. Yes, best to remain innocent for now.
James shrugged and grinned before opening the door. He was about to walk in, but then he saw something that made him widen his eyes in shock and then, to Remus' surprise, the strong, stubborn James Potter … fainted. He actually fainted. Fainted as in, his eyes rolled back in his eyes and he fell on the floor.
Remus blinked. Then blinked again. He had never thought he would live to see the day that James Potter fainted.
Had it been that bad? Gathering all his courage, Remus stepped past James and peeked in the room. His mouth dropped open.
Candles were placed at every possible flat surface, soft music was playing from somewhere in a corner and clothes were strewn across the floor.
The bed was placed directly across the door, so Remus had a very good view on what exactly was going on between Harry and Draco. And damn it, he had wished he had done more to stop James.
They were both completely naked, though their lower bodies were covered with a blue sheet. Harry was lying on his back with Draco on top of him and their mouths were glued together.
"See, I told you I would fit." Draco broke the kiss and panted.
"Stop talking and fuck me harder," Harry demanded and slammed his lips against the red ones above him.
Draco moaned and complied immediately.
"Oh my god," Remus muttered and immediately closed the door, his face burning with embarrassment. He wondered if he would ever be able again to look Harry right in the eyes. "Fuck, James, you idiot," he hissed and roughly pulled the dead weight of his best friend up, swinging his arm around his shoulder. "I told you not to enter, but no, of course, you won't listen. Why would you?" he growled and hastily made his way out of the house.
When Sirius saw their red faces later and heard what exactly they had seen, he had had a laughing fit for hours.
Harry hadn't known what hit him when Sirius had congratulated him a day later. All he got to hear was "Prongslet, you managed to do what no one ever did before; you made James Potter faint. I'm proud of you."
Harry just decided that it wasn't worth the headache he would get from trying to figure out that cryptic message and ignored Draco's smug smirk whenever he saw his boyfriend limping.
AN2: Poor James, he really should have listened to Remus XD So what did you think of it? Was it good enough?
I hope you'll leave a review with your thoughts of it!
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