a/n so i know it's been forever. or close enough to. now for those who thought last chapter was a bit to mature... Don't read this one. It is very sexual and rather dark. if you dont like that skip this chapter it'll make you feel better about yourself. The song used is Stay by Sugarland and I own nothing. Please leave your opinion, I was in a funk when I wrote this.

I've been sitting here staring at the clock on the wall
And I've been laying here praying, praying she won't call
It's just another call from home
And you'll get it and be gone
And I'll be crying…

It started when she was sixteen. At first it was a subtle look every now and then. Then it was how long he left his hand on hers, or a not so subtle look. They both denied it. During the day at least. But she still stayed strong. After all she wasn't cheating on her boyfriend, he wasn't cheating on his girlfriend as long as they didn't have sex.

She stayed strong. Until she turned eighteen. That summer for the first time in a long time they were both single, together at the same time. And it exploded.

They never once talked about love, or feelings or emotions or anything lasting longer than the day she left for New York and he left for Pennsylvania. They didn't lie to each other or pretend it was anything more than what it was.

Whatever the hell it was.

When she looked back on that summer all she could remember was how she snuck out every night to meet him in the park. In the bed of his pickup truck they would tear each other's cloths off without the pretence of gentleness or tenderness. Every time he would make sure she came and then he would join her. Putting his own horse cries out into the air.

But that's all there was.

For both of them.

And I'll be begging you, baby
Beg you not to leave
But I'll be left here waiting

When she left she honestly thought she was free of the addiction of him. She didn't love him. Not like that. Hell half the time she'd go as far as to say part of her hated him. But she knows how thin the lines between love and hate, between desire and obsession are. But all that aside she still needed him.

She thought leaving would free her of that.

With my Heart on my sleeve
Oh, for the next time we'll be here
Seems like a million years
And I think I'm dying

When he left he figured it was done. Hell he didn't love her. At least not like that, not enough. She was like a really really good bottle of Jack. Great during the night but hell to pay the next morning. Yet she kept him coming back. To the point where he would almost beg her for more.

He figured it was pretty twisted.

He thought leaving would figure him out.

What do I have to do to make you see
She can't love you like me?

They saw each other again over Christmas break and hell they were both still single. They figured what the hell. They both were leaving again anyway why not have some fun while trapped in their home town.

They should have known better.

At the end he almost, almost asked her to stay.

At the end she almost, almost would have stayed.

Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees

It happened again and again. They talked some when they were at school. Once or twice they even visited each other. But they were always honest with each other. They knew that what they had, what they were doing wasn't love. It was to twisted to be that. It was passionate, wild, rough, crazy- it was a lot of things but it wasn't love. They didn't waste the time to pretend otherwise

"I don't love you." She stated once they were done one night.

"I know," he replied, "but damn it babe you need this just as much as I do."

And the truth was she did. Even though the nights with him often left hand shaped bruises on her hips and scratch marks on his back they both needed it.

Every now and then though they tried to pretend it was something more. It made them feel that whatever they were doing wasn't quite so wrong.

So sometimes he would ask her to stay. And sometimes she would say yes.

Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
Don't I give you what you need

They met other people. Even fell in love with other people. But still they kept coming back. They finally admitted maybe they loved each other. (Hell he moved to New York when he got the job offer, he had others closer.) But it wasn't the kind of love where you buy a white picket fence and raise two point five children. Not it was the passionate love that tears you apart and leaves you bleeding. So they were with other people but they kept coming back to each other.

Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
Don't I give you what you need

He watched as she sat up in the bed, the blankets falling from her upper body to pool around her waist. Her back turned to him as she grabbed her dress from the floor and pulled the material over her head. He smiled in appreciation as the contours of her back shimmied and moved to adjust the silky material. He sat up himself and reached over to her. As he wrapped his hands around her waist he pressed a warm kiss to her shoulder blade.

"Stop that, zip me up. We both know I have to go." She demanded.

He moved a couple of inches back taking the time to really appreciate how her curly brown hair fell down to the center of her exposed back. He reached for the zipper located near her ass and pulled it up slowly, letting his hands glide over her curves.

She got off the bed and started to move around, locating the rest of her things. Her thong, shoes, purse everything else she needed to return home.

"Stay." He said without thinking.

She laughed thinking he was joking. They both knew that one of them would always leave.

"No, seriously, stay." He said, "Rach, just stay this time. Maybe we should just fucking stay. You love me and I love you. Why shouldn't we just fucking be together." He was mostly serious. He was getting tired of their dance and knew he could never stop it.

She turned to him her eyes cynical and slightly cold.

"You don't love me Noah. I don't love you. Not like that. I need you. Want you. Need this. We both know that. You love her Noah. And she'll be back soon." She turned around again to continue gathering her things.

"She knows something's up. Mentioned it the other night." He said.

She didn't turn around. She walked all the way to the door before she paused and turned.

"She might. But she'll stay. You love her Noah. I love him. He knows something's up too. But in the end it doesn't really matter does it? We love them but for reasons God only knows we always come back to this. I'm a smart girl Noah despite all evidence. You don't love me but you always come back. I don't love you but I always open the door. That's how it is with us. Its not going to change if I stay and she comes home to find me tangled in your sheets. So please don't insult me by asking me to stay. We both know that's not what we want."

She turned and left. Noah lay on his bed for a bit longer before getting up to shower.

While standing under the luke warm water all he could think about how sick and twisted Rachel made it sound.

What was worse is she was right.

He'd never really ask her to stay. And she never would.

Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
Don't I give you what you need
When she calls you to go
There is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay