The Importance of Being Celibate
A Pregnancy parody by Chibi Horsewoman
Summary: Somehow all six Winx Girls got pregnant at the exact same time. Now if I were younger and inexperienced this would be a really long drawn out story. But sadly I'm not younger and I just had my second child. So instead you're getting a parody of pregnancy fics on this site. Just read and see how each girl handles their situations.
Dedication: My reviewers, my beta reader and anyone who can take a joke.
Disclaimer: "I'm taking every kind of pill I can find. Hell I'd take birth control pills if I could get my hands on some." - Peewee Gates Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Meyers
Chapter One: Side Affects Include Mood Swings
It was a typical morning after a typical night out with our usual suspects from Alfea AKA the Winx Club and their merry band of specialists.Each Winx girl had gone off with her guy after a party at Red Fountain to do what some people do best. And no it wasn't play chess. They were now returning less than bright eyed and bushy tailed to Alfea.
"Remind me never to do whiskey shots with Timmy again." Tecna groaned sheepishly as she and Musa climbed the stairs to their dorms to prepare for class. "It leads to other activities."
Musa quirked one arched navy colored eyebrow, but said nothing. She didn't want to ponder what else Tecna and Timmy had done last night. She'd done enough of that with Riven and didn't want to ponder on anyone else doing the nasty.
"I'll make a note of that." Musa promised as they entered their room and quickly used some magic spells to prevent the walk of shame before going to the classes they were supposed to help teach.
"Come on now darlings." Stella called in a voice that could shatter glass. "We mustn't be late for classes eh?"
Musa saw Tecna visibly wince at their blonde friend's chipper tone. The trio silently made their way to their respective classrooms, the quiet only broken by Stella's incessant jabber.
A little over a month later
"Does anyone else feel like they've been run over by a troll?" Bloom asked as she made her way into the bathroom the six girls all shared. She addressed the question to all of them.
"No, but I do have the strangest craving for a bacon cheeseburger with onion rings." Flora stated even though it wasn't even seven in the morning. "I think I'll get one for breakfast."
She then began to rummage through the various cupboards and drawers knowing that Stella hid chocolates from Brandon in the bathroom. "I can't believe how hungry I am! I need food!"
"Oh please don't mention food." Tecna groaned as she made her way to the toilet.
"Make her stop, she's been at that all night." Musa griped as she watched her magenta haired roommate make yet another deposit at the porcelain bank. "Gods I don't even know how she has anything left to throw up."
"Sweeties does anyone have any antacids?" Stella asked as she entered the fray. "My stomach's been so upset lately and I can't even perform a simple spell to calm it down."
"Oh I hope it's some bug going around because I've been feeling queasy too." Layla chimed in.
"Wait a minute!" Bloom exclaimed causing Tecna to look up from her place at the toilet and Flora to stop searching for Stella's not so secret chocolate stash in the bathroom linen closet.
"Wait for what Bloom?" Musa asked grabbing the bottle of antacids from Stella and taking two for herself.
"It all makes sense. I've got a head ache, Flora's hungry and moody all the time."
"Hey! I am not moody!" Flora protested having found a bag of pretzels.
"Ahem." Bloom coughed upset at being interrupted. "Tecna, Layla, and Musa are either queasy or vomiting."
"We all have a stomach bug." Layla argued gesturing to herself, Tecna and Musa.
"Or we're pregnant." Musa suggested.
The silence was so extensive all that was missing was the crickets, and then all Hell broke loose.
"My father's gonna kill me!" Musa nearly sobbed. "He's gonna take a vacation from his furniture store (1) just to kill me, then he'll make a footstool out of Riven."
"Well it's not like mine's all that fond of Timmy either." (2) Tecna commiserated as she hoisted herself up from her spot in front of the toilet. "Do we have any mouthwash?"
"Forget what your dads will say, what about the guys?" Bloom asked sounding worried.
"What do you care?" Flora retorted, glaring daggers at her friend. "You and Sky are engaged and he's such a damn do gooder he'll probably try to have the baby for you.
Layla and Nabu are engaged. Hell even Stella and Brandon are informally engaged. But Riven, Timmy and Helia have no obligations."
"That doesn't mean they won't stick around." Layla reasoned, knowing that even though saying her parents would be pissed off at her would be like saying that World War Two was a slight disagreement between a few countries. It wouldn't matter to them that she was pregnant by the guy they'd betrothed her to.
"Maybe we should tell them?" She added as a quiet suggestion.
"Oh Hell no!" Stella shouted. "I'm not about to tell Brandon that I'm going to be all fat and bloated!"
"It's called being pregnant." Musa said with a tone of anguish in her voice.
"You know, maybe before we all jump to conclusions we should buy some pregnancy tests." Tecna suggested logically.
"That's a great idea!" Bloom exclaimed hugging her magenta haired friend then immediately recoiling from the unholy combination of vomit and antiseptic mouthwash on Tecna's breath.
"Yeah, then we can all be extremely depressed when we all get pink plus signs." Flora groaned.
"Oh cheer up." Stella scolded as she rummaged through the drawers in the sink for some bronzer to brighten up her swallow complexion. "I think the pregnancy tests are a great idea. We can run out and get them during lunch and take them here."
"Yeah and we all have the day off after that." Tecna gushed.
"Before we do lunch though, there's the issue of getting through the morning." Layla pointed out.
"No worries here." Bloom stated with a grin.
"Except being tardy." Musa added with a small smile. "And throwing up in class."
To the convieniance store!
Well maybe it's not exactly a crackfic, but it will get better. I will say that with most young women after living together their menstrual cycles can get in synch. However it is still unlikely that six girls would all get pregnant at the same time.
1.) According to the Winx Comics that's what Hoboe (Musa's father) does now on their planet of Melody.
2.) According to the Winx Comics Tecna's dad isn't fond of Timmy, but he may tolerate him.