The Importance of Being Celibate

A Pregnancy parody by Chibi Horsewoman

Dedication: My reviewers. I keep losing count of how many I get per chapter and who I replied to! Who knows, this might lead to more updates.

Disclaimer: The cast and characters of Winx Club belong to their respective owners. I also don't own any of the brands of food I mention nor do I own Jerry Springer, Ellen, or Dr Phil. I am writing this story for entertainment purposes only and am not making money off of it.

Chapter Five: Giving Bloom the Responsibility Talk

Back in Gardenia, while Layla and Tecna had been playing their games to see who would tell their boyfriend first and Musa was breaking the news to Riven, Bloom was sitting around her adoptive parent's home watching daytime talk shows and eating mini Chips Ahoy cookies, washing them down with strawberry milk. The red-haired princess of Domino had spent the past two days in her favourite footie pajamas watching as random people on Jerry Springer tried to beat each other up for 'sleeping with their men.' It seemed to Bloom that these people should know more about whom they were dating before they slept with them.

That afternoon Bloom was intently watching the end of the Dr Phil show, where yet another cow of a mother-in-law hated her daughter-in-law simply because the daughter-in-law wasn't the woman she had wanted her son to marry. Bloom could definitely relate to that poor daughter in law. Samara, Sky's mom, didn't like her either. Neither did Erendor, Sky's dad, for that matter. They both seemed to like Princess Diaspro better. Bloom wouldn't have been surprised if in the near future someone tried to reintroduce the two of them and they hit it off.

"No one loves me!" Bloom suddenly wailed into her old baby blanket, startling Kiko and causing the poor rabbit to knock over the box of cookies. The sound of Bloom's wailing drowned out any advice Dr. Phil was about to offer, and caused Vanessa to rush in with Miriam right behind her.

Upon seeing both of her mothers standing in front of her, Bloom was decidedly more startled than either woman.

"What are you doing here?" Bloom demanded finishing her hormone-induced pity party with a quick nose blow.

"I live here, Bloom." Vanessa stated as she stared down her adopted daughter.

"Not you. Her!" The red haired heir of Domino pointed a cookie at Miriam, her biological mother. Bloom wasn't thrilled to see her biological mother at that moment as Miriam was much harder on her than Vanessa was. She didn't want to know why the queen of Domino had traveled to Earth and was dressed in an emerald green pantsuit with her red gold hair out of its formal court hairstyle. In fact at the moment, Bloom was wishing she'd never found her birth parents in Obsidian because she was certain that Miriam would scold her when she told her and Vanessa what had happened back in Magix.

"Well Bloom, I'm here because Vanessa called to let me know you had run off again." Miriam began in a calm tone. "I've been told that it's almost standard for you. I don't believe I need to remind you that these actions are extremely unbecoming of a princess and future queen."

Bloom hid under the crocheted afghan on the sofa and looked even less queenly. She heard Vanessa sigh loudly and buried herself even deeper. Vanessa stepped forward and yanked the afghan off of Bloom.

"Now listen Bloom," Vanessa began in an impatient tone of voice, more than enough to convey to Bloom that her stay at chez Peters was wearing thin, "your dad and I were okay when you came home during your first year of Alfea because of what had happened between you and Sky.

When you came home your third year because Valtor may have been trying to attack Alfea because of you, your dad and I were a little put off because we figured at eighteen you should be able to face some problems head on, but we wanted you to be safe. Although we didn't like hearing that you had run off without telling your friends, again."

Vanessa paused and looked at Bloom to see if any of what she was saying was sinking through. Bloom had a tissue to her nose and was trying not to cry, however Vanessa decided to push on.

"However this time when you dropped in unannounced with five suitcases in tow and asking us to screen calls from Sky, your father and I decided that enough is enough. You are twenty years old Bloom, you need to grow up and stop running away! However, we are glad that at least this time you informed your friends."

Miriam nodded in agreement. "So, what happened this time Bloom?"

Bloom looked from Vanessa to Miriam. Both woman sat next to each other on the other couch in the living room. The fairy of the Dragon Flame didn't know if it was hormones or pent up emotions that made her tear up again.

"I got pregnant." Bloom finally stated as she blew her nose. "All the girls and I somehow got pregnant at the same time and I got scared and ran away and I didn't tell Sky."

For a moment no one spoke, the silence was deafening. Both Vanessa and Miriam wore shocked expressions on their faces, and Bloom was glad they were sitting. Even Kiko looked as though he was about to faint from the news.

"Is it Andy's?" Vanessa finally asked, she remembered that when Bloom and her friends had been in Gardenia a while back and they'd all gotten really close with Bloom's ex-boyfriend Andy. That would explain wanting to screen calls from Sky.

Miriam and Bloom's faces rivaled their hair. Bloom was mortified.

"No mother, it's Sky's baby." Bloom spat out.

'Then, you won't have any trouble calling your fiancé and telling him the news." Miriam stated declaring that decision finalized.

You will also take yourself back to Alfea and resume doing whatever it is you girls do there. Why in the name of the Great Dragon don't you move on now? You tried teaching and obviously you girls couldn't handle that."

Bloom felt her face redden, but said nothing to contradict her biological mother. Miriam could be loving and she had missed Bloom a great deal when she'd been sealed away, however as the co-ruler of Domino, Miriam was unrelenting in facing responsibilities and problems head on. She expected her remaining daughter and heir to do the same.

"Bloom, darling, why don't you call Sky while I make Miriam and myself a pot of tea, hmm?" Vanessa asked, saving Bloom from any more of her birth mother's rants. "If you can't tell him the whole story over the phone, just make sure you do it in person when you get back, okay?"

"Yes mom, I will." Bloom replied gratefully, she hesitantly picked up her phone as her two moms headed into the kitchen. Then she set it down again, what would Sky's reaction be to this news? Would he forget any of this had happened in a few months?

Hopping up on the couch, Kiko gave his owner a nudge with his nose as if to encourage her. Bloom smiled, it would all work out somehow. Even if Sky suddenly managed to get amnesia or was placed under another hundred year sleep spell, at least she'd have her friends to help her out.

"Thanks Kiko," Bloom told her bunny, patting him on the head. She dialed Sky's number only to have it go straight to voice mail.

"Hey, this is Prince Sky. I can't get to my phone right now because I'm in the middle of something important. Leave a message and I'll get back to you. Oh, and if this is Bloom, where in the name of the Great Dragon are you?"

Bloom swallowed hard and waited for the beep. "Hey Sky, this is Bloom. I went back to Gardenia with my adoptive parents because I had a stomach bug. Or at least I thought I had a stomach bug. I'll explain when I get back to Magix tomorrow afternoon."

After leaving that message, Bloom surveyed the living room. Coming across her reflection in a mirror she blanched. Stomach bug indeed, she had cookie crumbs everywhere and sported a milk mustache. Thank the Great Dragon she'd told Sky she'd meet him tomorrow, it would take at least twenty-four hours to make herself presentable again.

Twenty minutes and a change of clothes later, Bloom was sitting in the kitchen drinking tea with her moms again. All of her suitcases were at the back door as Miriam was taking Bloom back to the magic dimension as soon as tea time was over.

"Bloom, I know that I may have seen a bit harsh." Miriam said suddenly, "but when you're queen, you'll realize that you can't ever run away from a problem no matter how big it is."

Vanessa nodded. "She's right dear. You need to smarten up, stop being so impulsive and start thinking before you act because now it's not only about you, it's about your baby as well."

Bloom couldn't speak, she was too busy sobbing. 'Damn those hormones' she thought as her moms sandwiched her into a group hug.

Whew, finally. I'm sorry that this took so long, but Bloom is my least favourite character and while this is a parody story and I was glad to finally hand her ass to her, I also wanted to convey some emotions which I did in my other two chapters with the other couples. Thanks for being so patient and thanks again for all your reviews. I never expected to get so many for a story that is basically off the top of my head. I think Flora will be next, simply because I don't care for Helia and I need to get them out of the way.