Disclaimer I do not own Inuyasha Rumiko Takashi and VIZ media do Rated R Lemons
Updated extended April 15 2011, Inuyasha/Kag
By Raven 2010 June 5 2010
Pervy peeping monk, Miroku hears a terrible thing, the scheme, show and tell
Sango and Kagome went to their favorite hot spring to have a relaxing bath and were talking
"Did you hear something? Kagome asked in a whisper
"Yeah it's probably that perverted monk I am going to snap off something precious of his off and put in a jar, then he's going to have to ask for permission to visit it" Sango replied loudly so Miroku coulld hear
"No, no, no Sango you don't wanna do that if you snap it off you might strain your wris, the only upside is he'd have to sit like a girl to pee"
""Love that last thing you said that was so evil" Sango commented "Well Kag's what do you suggest?
"We borrow Inuyasha's sword and where you already know how to use a sword you could take it off balls and all with one clean swipe"
"Gulp, I believe she'd do it to" Miroku thought while hiding in the bushes and held on to his prized possession and at the same time fear gripped him and a cold deathly chill ran down his spine
"Sounds good to me" Sango replied "Using the wind scar would be so fast"
"Now she's gone from simple castration to murder" Miroku thought
"You know he really needs to be taught a lesson I have an idea" Kagome said to Sango in a whisper, as an evil grin crossed her lips they hatched their plot
"Kagome your plotting something positively and heart stopping evil aren't you? Sango asked
"Now Sango would I do that? I'm just an innocent helpless weak girl"
"Ok sniff, sniff if you say so" Kagome said with a fake pout and feigning tears
The next day they went to the hot springs and came back only this time Kagome was dressed in a light blue kimono and wearing a big smile from ear to ear "Lady Kagome may I say? you look lovely today" what is the occasion? Miroku said
"Thank you Miroku and there's no occasion"
"Why are you dressed up? Is it for a special man? Miroku asked
"Miroku I'm in feudal era Japan I thought it would be more appropriate to dress as the people here do"
Kagome then gave him a fake but convincing looking lecherous grin and devious look in her eyes knowing that it would peak his curiosity and bait him
"I see" he replied "It's a man and I will find out who all I have to do is wait and watch" Miroku thought
Inuyasha returned and with fury filled eyes took one look "Oi wench why the hell are you dressed like that? and who's it for? Tell me"
"And what the hell do you care Mouthyasha? It's none of your business" Kagome replied
"Feh just curious is all don't get your panties in a twist"
"Don't be ok and you're the one who has their panties in a twist, ooo they must be pinching your boy parts no wonder your always such a grouch" Kagome answered
"Whatever wench damn you women are nuts during that time of the month"
"Make like a pretzel and get bent" she said
"Oh I will right after you kiss my ass" Inuyasha replied
"Tell you what Inuyasha if you put your head between your legs and bend backwards far enough you can kiss your own ass"
"Only if you show me how first" Inuyasha wise cracked "They gotta be long kisses to, hehehe"
"Inuyasha your such a dick" Kagome replied
"Yeah and I've got enough for two"
"Do I look like I care? She retorted "But you know what they say big dick no brains"
"And you know what they say big mouth icy hole" he wisecracked "And a frigid wench
"Frustrated virgin" she said then walked away
"Where ya goin Kagome?
"I've got a hot date and 12 hard inches waiting for me" what's it to you? He waited after 5 minutes then followed after her
A few minutes later curiosity killing him Miroku after hearing Kagome mention a hot date was now chomping at the bit to know who it was Miroku was leaving
"Monk where are you going? Sango asked
"For a walk"
Miroku you pervert your going on a spy mission, and your going to watch them" aren't you?
"Why my dear Sango you put an arrow through my heart" would I do a thing like that?
"I haven't put an arrow through you yet but I am thinking about it, and yes you would pervert"
"I must go meditate now" Miroku stated in the forest hiding behind bushes Miroku watched the scene play out before him
"Kagome I'm sorry" please will you forgive me? I can't help it" Inuyasha pled "you don't understand"
"You say that every time Inuyasha and then you do things to piss me off again" do you get off on it or something?
"Seeing you dressed like that looking so, so beautiful other guys will chase you and just the thought of it drives me insane" Inuyasha answered
"Inuyasha are you? you are jealous aren't you? But you send me mixed signals your jealous of Kouga and other guys then push me away"
"W, w, well I" he replied nervously "I ain't the kind for that mushy stuff"
Before she could question him further in the blink of an eye Kagome found herself pinned against a tree with Inuyasha's lips on hers in a searing kiss, he gently parted her lips with his tongue she opened up and he dove into her mouth she eagerly returned his actions
"Mmm" she moaned and he groaned
Inuyasha used one knee and nudged her legs apart, then got between them put his hands on her ass and ground against her earning a moan from her. She rubbed her hands up and down his back moved down to his hips and ass pulling him into her then with one hand she reached into his hakama grabbed his manhood and massaged it
"Shit Gome that feel good"
"Whoa Inuyasha it's so long and thick your hung it's inhuman"
"Told ya" he teased
"Then let me check everything" she sexily said
"Oh Kagome he moaned that feels to good keep it up and I'm gonna fuck you right here up against this tree" he said In a deep lust filled voice
He reached inside her kimono feeling her ass and stroked her womanhood then moved up to her breasts caressing and kneading them while they kissed each others necks
"Kagome your so hot and wet down there you'd feel so good wrapped around me"
"Well you did say you were gonna fuck me" didn't you?
She opened his hakama just enough for access without undressing, he leaned into her put his arms around her. Inuyasha lifted her up she put her legs around his waist and arms around his neck and he kept her held up with her back against the tree
"Are you ready? He asked
"Yes put it in me now" please I cant take it anymore? I'm so hot it hurts don't wait do it now"
He moved in slow waited a few seconds then started moving at a regular pace "Oh Inuyasha harder faster yes, yes more"
"Oh shit Kagome your so fuckin hot and tight you feel so good I never thought anything could feel so damn good"
"Inu, Inu, Inuyasha I, I oh god's I'm coming"
"Shit Kagome me to"
"Inuyashaaaaa" she screamed while digging her fingers into his haori
"Ahhhhh shit yes" he said
Sesshoumaru was passing by the area and heard this he masked his scent hid and watched with great curiosity. As he suspiciously waited for the outcome of the current events he had already scented the monk and knew he was hiding there as well
"Yes, yes, yes Inuyasha faster I, I'm coming again"
'Kagome I cant hold back any longer"
Don't hold back join me It feels to good yes oh yes Inuyashaaa" she screamed his name one last time
Then both went limp and were panting, he pulled his hakama up and tied it, she closed and tied her kimono then they fixed their clothes
"We gotta do this again" she said
"Yeah I'll need at least three times a day" Inuyasha added
"Sex fiend" she teased
"Horny oversexed wench" he joked
"Did you enjoy the show Miroku? Inuyasha asked wearing a big smirk "Can I give you a few pointers?
Sango came out applauding and laughing "Yes oh lecherous one it was all for you"
Kagome opened her kimono underneath it she was wearing a thigh length T shirt Kagome bowed "Thank you my kind fans"
"I had all I could to keep a straight face I cant believe you Miroku" Inuyasha said between laughs
Even Sesshoumaru the stoic demon lord could no longer contain himself and broke out laughing "This is without a doubt one of the best days of my life" he thought
"But it looked so real" Miroku almost whined
"Monk you really are a fool I scented you there, so did my brother when a youkai is ready to mate or is mating and scents you lingering trying to watch, they will either pummel, kill you, or both. I knew they were faking it and simply waited to see the outcome" Sesshoumaru told Miroku
"Miroku he's right if it was real and you did that to me I'd shred you like paper for interrupting it, mating time is when Inu's are the most dangerous" Inuyasha choked out between laughs
"Miko Little brother that is a performance that will never be surpassed" Sesshoumaru complimented
"Thank you Sesshoumaru" they replied
Inuyasha turned to face Kagome "Inuyasha how fast can you move? She asked
"You know that cave hidden behind the water fall" Kagome said smiling wickedly
"Yup sure do"
She didn't have to say anymore at warp speed he picked her up bridal style and took off leaving only a red streak behind, while he was running with her in his arms he was already rock hard from their fake performance
"This time no foreplay I just wanna fuck ok"
"Kagome you're a scary wench you must be reading my mind, you bad girl" he teased
"Yeah but you made me so horny Yashakins I thought I was going to explode" Kagome teased
"Hmm don't worry my tasty little wench after our fake love making scene and hearing you say that I'm so damn hard right now I could chop tree's down with this damn thing"
"Inuyasha don't worry I've got a tree for you to chop"
"Oh yeah and I've got a log for you to saw"
"Then just call me Sawgome" she joked
They got to and entered the cave within seconds Inuyasha used his demonic speed and had them both naked, he gently laid her on her back on top of his haori and then was on top of her and between her legs
Kagome looked into his eyes "I love you Inuyasha"
"Me to wench" he teased
Inuyasha entered then sunk himself deep inside her the second he did she came hard she met him thrust for thrust then had multiple releases, when they their simultaneous releases began his fangs grew long then he marked her neck with a bite and she him while they exploded long and hard
"Don't stop harder, yess, yess, Inuyashaaa"
Still wanting more "Inuyasha more please"
"Don't worry my horny wench we aren't leaving this cave to soon, you'll be lucky if I let you out of here in three days" he said sexily
"I'll be a good girl I won't try to escape" Kagome teased
"Hehehe as if you could" he replied
Inuyasha kissed her then started moving again and in no time she was screaming his name, the scent of her arousal made him cum even more. They both felt every nerve in their bodies come alive and burn from their shared lust while love and passion filled them mind body and soul
"Mmmmm Inuyasha" they continued for a long time
Meanwhile in the forest with a big grin on his face Sesshoumaru thought "It's about time little brother, it's about time welcome to the family little miko" he said
The gift, payback, a perverts cure,
3 Days later they returned to camp "Oh Miroku?
"I've got a present for you"
"What is it?
"Come and see monk geez if I freakin tell you what it is there'd be no surprise" and where's the fun in that? Inuyasha said
"Inuyasha you shouldn't have"
"Well despite being a nosy spying pervert you are a good friend"
Inuyasha handed Miroku the box "Thank you my friend"
"Your welcome ya letch" Inuyasha joked
Miroku opened the box and was immediately sprayed by 3 very large and pissed off skunks he ran like hell with the skunks in hot pursuit "Eeeee, oh shit" why? Inuyasha how could you? Miroku yelled as he was running away
"I'd only do it for a true friend" Inuyasha answered
"Don't be a stranger Miroku, and don't forget to write" Kagome teased
"He's not going get rid of that stink to soon" said Sango
"Yup that's the gift that keeps on giving, and not only that now we have a good excuse to make him sleep outside of the village" Inuyasha said
"Inuyasha your just to kind Sango replied"
"Why thank you Sango"
"Inuyasha you dirty bastard" Miroku screamed from way off in the distance
"Love you to Roku" Inuyasha wisecracked
"Oh no, no you get away from me you little creep" Miroku shouted at one of the skunks and got sprayed "Not again" was the last thing heard from Miroku
"Hey he's pretty fast for a human" Sango said
"Well Sango skunks are a good exercise motivator" Inuyasha said smiling evilly
'When Inuyasha woke in the morning he found that he could not move and that he was tied up with ropes, and was laying on the floor inside the storage shed, his head felt fuzzy he looked around and had a hard time focusing, then he realized that he had been drugged the night before
'Mornin sunshine" Miroku greeted as he opened the shed door
"Miroku what the hell?
"Relax Inuyasha I just want to talk"
"And you had to drug then tie me up for that"
"Yes it was necessary" Miroku replied
"Ok monk so what the hell do you have to say that requires you to tie me up? Out with it"
"Patience my ass get on with it"
"Very well since you cannot wait" Miroku replied
"Well come on man I ain't got all year to wait"
Miroku who was still standing in the doorway just looked at his hanyou friend, then in less then a second flat tossed the same 3 skunks Inuyasha had used on him onto Inuyasha then a sickening sweet perfume bomb, and swiftly closed and locked the storage shed door, the perfume only pissed the skunks off more, and the inside of the shed became one giant skunk perfume bomb
"Cough, cough, cough Mirokuuuuu, cough get me out of here nooooow"
"Nope now you have a nice visit with your three loving friends"
"When I get out you die" Inuyasha bellowed, as Inuyasha lay there his mind was working overtime, and a deranged idea popped into his head "Oh yeah he'll never expect that hehehe" the now happy hanyou thought
2 days later Inuyasha was released from his prison he was calm, quiet, and seemingly to tired to care, he looked at the skunks they looked at him then both ran their separate ways, Inuyasha to the nearest hot spring, and the skunks into the forest, after he finished bathing and washed his clothes he hung his clothes on a tree branch and relaxed while they dried, and not far from where he was sitting he saw exactly what he wanted
A few hours later Inuyasha went back home "Oi Miroku were even now ok"
"Thank you my friend it's a deal"
"Feh, whatever don't go getting all mushy" Inuyasha wisecracked
"Same old grouchy Inuyasha" Miroku joked
"Yup just what I want you to think fool" Inuyasha thought
Sango, Kagome, and Kirrara were just getting back from a village they were visiting during the time Inuyasha was locked up, when Kagome found out what Miroku had done she was about to trounce him when Inuyasha enveloped her in his arms and held on to his feisty little mate
"No Kagome it's ok we called a truce" Inuyasha said
"Oh this is to easy I know Inuyasha and I know that sneaky dog is up to something, this otta be hilarious, Miroku you poor bastard" Sango thought and mentally laughed
"What the hell is he up to? Inuyasha's not that forgiving" Kagome thought "Screw it I won't ask, I'll just wait and find out"
Inuyasha released Kagome, greeted picked up and pet Kirrara "Here it comes" both Sango and Kagome thought
Before Miroku drew his next breath Inuyasha had a nice fat bunch of catnip down the front of Miroku's robes then dropped Kirrara in, the cat went after the catnip and was drunk in seconds, after a few long shrieks Miroku finally got the protesting clawing cat out and set her down
While fixing his robe Kirrara began pulling the bottom of his robe with her claws, it seems the object of the happily drunk cats affections was still inside Mirokus robe, Kirrara wanted her catnip which Miroku had forgotten to remove from his person, she kept after him
"No Kirrara, no more playing kitty ride the monk" Miroku said
"Meow, meow" she responded then pulled his robe with her claws
"Kirrara what's wrong with you? Miroku asked when said cat tried to climb up under his robe to obtain her catnip
"Oh my kamis he forgot about the catnip in his robe" Kagome and Sango thought
Tired of all the failed attempts Kirrara took her large form and started going after Miroku, the panicky monk tried sweet talking the very playful cat then it hit him like a ton of bricks and he remembered
"Gulp, Inuyasha, catnip, Kirrara" Miroku stammered "Inuyashaaaaa"
"Yeah that's my name don't wear it out"
Miroku was about to lunge for Inuyasha when he was pounced on by Kirrara "No Kirrara nice kitty" we're friends remember? Miroku pled
"Meow, purrr" came from her
Miroku got up and began to back away and finally got his chance and ran like hell, and Kirrara was hot on his heals. Kagome, Sango, and Inuyasha released the laughs they had been straining to hold back all that time, Kirrara chased Miroku for a while then they heard
"No Kirrara you cant, Yeeeeeow" Miroku screeched
What the others saw next would surprise the hell out of them, Kirrara came back with Miroku's robe hanging from her teeth, the big playful cat lay down using her fangs and claws she turned the robe inside out and finally got her catnip, after she ate it she rolled around on her back like a giant kitten, Inuyasha scratched behind her ears then rubbed her belly
"Nice job Kirrara, and this is for you" he said and gave her a huge fish as a reward
"Inu, Inuyasha you dir, dirty dog" Kagome gasped out
"I'll have you know I am a clean dog, thank you so much, huh" he said with feigned indignity
"Inuyasha th, that is a masterpiece" Sango managed to get out
"What can I say girls I aim to please, I did all the scheming but Kirrara did the dirty work
Miroku came back wearing only his fundoshi and a scowl and glared daggers at Inuyasha, yep now it was war Inuyasha you better pray to every kami there is, they'll have mercy but I won't" Miroku barked
But Inuyasha was ready for him and had everything pre planned he patiently waited for Miroku to make his move, and right on cue Miroku lunged for him ready to attack, but all to soon found himself thrown in the storage shed where he was then hit with three sickening sweet perfume bombs 3 worse then the ones he'd used on Inuyasha, then Inuyasha quickly locked the door
"Miroku smells so sweet when the ladies get a whiff they'll all retreat and he has the cure for stinky feet" Inuyasha ragged
Dizzy from the perfume "I ha, ha, hate you" was all Miroku could say before he passed out
"Nighty night" Inuyasha said he kept Miroku locked up for a couple days then released him