When I first read the news article that has inspired this story, I almost feel out of my chair. I hope you enjoy it.
I don't own Hetalia or any other brand mentioned.
Switzerland had never been so drunk. His day up until that eventful evening had consisted of going over Euro 2008 plans with Austria. His childhood friend suggested that they should go for a quick drink after their long days work and the Swiss agreed. But for just one drink.
But before he could even finish his second gulp, Prussia and Hungary unexpectedly showed up. The pair immediately made it their mission to get Austria and Switzerland totally tanked.
Several hours of heavy drinking later, and all four of them were utterly wreaked. Hungary had snogged Austria and Prussia, who were trying and failing loudly to play the piano in the corner of the bar and crank calling Germany respectively. Switzerland on the other hand was holding onto the aforementioned Hungarian lady and her him so as they could at least stand up.
"We all need to get out of here before we all get killed by somebody." Switzerland mumbled in Hungary's ear. She could only grunt in response. "Us three will spend the night here...we've done it before. You...you on the other hand Swisseyboy need to get back to L-Lie-Liechtenstein. She'll be worried about her big brother."
"Ah Nooooooo!" Switzerland drunkenly moaned out loud. He made an immediate stagger for the door, causing Hungary to fall to the floor in a heap. "I'm coming Liechtenstein. I'm coming!" he shouted into the night.
Around an hour and a bit later (and in total darkness) Switzerland made it to the front door of his house. How he made it back in one piece remains a mystery. His luck certainly must have been in, because he got his key in the lock after only four attempts.
The night air had had absolutely no effects on his inebriation though. The only way that he could safely navigate his way around the house he knew like the back of his hand was by sliding along the walls. Tables and pictures proved to be almost impassable objects on occasions.
But mercifully he finally managed to crawl into a bed at what was 01:56 according to the clock on the side table. Remembering America's advice, Switzerland rolled onto his stomach with his head just hanging over the edge of the bed. No nation wanted to die, especially like some ordinary human who'd had too much to drink and chock on their own sick.
Before he knew it, Switzerland had drifted off to sleep. He was so tired he didn't even have to think about counting clay-pigeons.
At around half-past five in the morning Switzerland awoke with an almost uncontrollable urge to pee. All that booze had finally worked its way to his bladder and it wanted out now.
Still only half awake he rolled over but froze in horror when he realised just how bad a situation he was in. For there, soundly asleep under the covers next to him was his little sister Liechtenstein, whose face was no more than an inch from his.
This brought Switzerland back to his senses immediately. He looked around the bedroom to discover that he had crawled into Liechtenstein's bed by accident in the darkness. His mind then started racing: "What have I done? What did I do? Did she notice me? Did she wake up and not try to move me? Or did she try and move me?" The blonde Swiss would have come up with more questions to ask himself, but he was in real danger of doing something he hadn't done since he was a small boy. He just had to get to the bathroom.
After what seemed to be the pee that would never end, Switzerland decided to make some extra strong coffee and try to make one of England's fry-ups (only much better than the Englishman possibly could). England had told him once that it always cured his hangovers, so he thought he'd give it a try.
By the time he had finished making his breakfast his head was starting to clear up, and the food did go some way to further his recovery as well as filling him up. But no sooner had he finished eating, he heard the unmistakable sound of Liechtenstein walking across the landing to the bathroom for her morning shower.
"Right." Switzerland thought to himself, "I'm going to have to tell her what I stupidly did. I won't have peace of mind until I know if I did anything or not."
When Liechtenstein finally came downstairs she greeted her brother with a smile on her face. "Good morning big brother. Did you sleep well last night?"
"Yeah, for a while. I had too much to drink last night. I was only planning on having one with Austria but then Prussia and Hungary arrived and they got us all drunk." Switzerland replied sheepishly.
"So that's vhy I didn't hear you come in last night. I did lock the house up OK didn't I?" she questioned as she sat at the table.
"Err, yeah. You did a good job." Switzerland told her, even though he had no clue if she had or hadn't.
"I do need to ask you one thing Liechtenstein." Switzerland said as he got a box of cereal out of the cupboard along with a bowl, spoon and some milk from the fridge.
"Vhat's that big brother?" Liechtenstein looked up at him with those big green eyes of hers.
After a pause and a sharp intake of breath, Switzerland quickly blurted out: "I accidently feel asleep in your bed for a while last night and I'm really, really sorry if I did anything to you." This sudden rush of words from his mouth caused Switzerland to shiver and shake. He desperately wanted to hear from his little sister that she was fine with what happened.
A big question mark appeared over Liechtenstein's head. "I didn't hear or notice you big brother. You must have been very quiet."
This was music to Switzerland's ears. "So y-you have no problems with it?" he questioned.
"Nope. It's not as if you did to me what Germany did to Belgium in 1914 now is it?" Her reply gave the impression to Switzerland that she couldn't care less about the whole thing.
"Well it's good for me to hear that you're fine with everything. I thought you were going to go all 1985 on me again." Switzerland joked as he sat down.
"Hey now that was different. You set my garden on fire." Liechtenstein glared at him.
"Oh I said I was sorry didn't I? At least I paid for the damage." Switzerland defended himself.
The two carried on chatting about anything and everything for the rest of breakfast. Life had (quickly) returned to normal.
On 1 March 2007, a Swiss army company got lost whilst on manoeuvres during the rainy night. Before they knew it they had wondered 2Km inside Liechtenstein and immediately retraced their tracks upon realising their mistake. The Liechtenstein authorities didn't know of this accidental invasion until the Swiss told them. A Liechtenstein spokesman dismissed the incident saying: "It's not like they invaded with attack helicopters."
In 1985 Liechtenstein feel out with Switzerland after stray rockets its army launched set part of Liechtenstein's forest on fire. Switzerland had to pay its tiny neighbour compensation.
At the start of WW1 in 1914, Germany 'raped' Belgium.
BTW: I'm not implying the Swiss army men were drunk. I'm just using that so symbolise the rain. Also in case you don't know 'snogged' is English slang for 'French-kissed'.