All right, this is a request from SilverSea1499. Again, not sure if I got the character right, but in this one I think they're supposed to be a little OOC.
P.S I do not own the Titans.
Raven lay in her bed, her eyes closed. If one were to walk in the room, it would seem she was in a peaceful sleep; this was not the case.
A deep somberness rested in her mind, yet she was not completely sure why. The Titans has just defeated her father, and now she could feel. She should be happy.
But it was not this that saddened her; it was one particular emotion.
She could barely grasp the word, let alone ever think of feeling it. She was not even sure there was such a thing. But either way, it did not matter. It would not stop the desire to have a significant other – someone to have to hold.
She would try not to dwell on it, and tell herself it was insignificant and that she had gotten along just fine without it for all these years. But now…but now things were different. She was used to the excuse that she was not allowed to feel it; this was the answer she was comfortable with. Now that it was obsolete, she could not help herself to pine.
She would watch Robin and Starfire, and feel envy for their obvious affections. She believed that if it weren't for them, she would still be able to tell herself there is a possibility that love is just in fairytales; but she could see it in them, which made her face the fact that it was real.
Then her thoughts turned to the possibilities; was it really better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all?
She sat up in bed slowly, her thoughts jumbled. She was used to being so put together and so…stoic. All of her thoughts were taking a toll, and she could not help but to want answers. The only Titan she really knew of that had a badly ended romance was Beast Boy. She thought of the possibility of going to discuss this with him.
She scrunched her nose, appalled by her own thoughts. Ask him? Please. He was annoying and immature; plus, he would probably make fun of her for something of this nature. It was pointless.
But was it? She sighed, contemplating. Eventually she lifted out of the bed; she needed answers. She was already dazed by her half-sleep, and she figured that if anything turned out bad she could blame it on this fact. In fact, she was already blaming it now. Do something like this was not one of her usual characteristics.
She made it to the door and slipped out into the hallway, second guessing herself all the way down. When she made it to his room, she was definitely thinking of turning back. She was about to leave when the door opened. It startled her, but she did not show it.
Beast Boy stared at her, confused. His eyes were squinted and he yawned, and when he spoke his voice was groggy. "Raven?"
Raven could feel a blush crawling up her cheeks and she quickly repressed it with a clearing of her throat. "Beast Boy. Is there a reason you're leaving your room?" She raised an eyebrow, her voice monotonous.
Beast Boy scratched his head. "Uh, just going to the bathroom. There a reason you're at my door. Wantin' some love from the beast man?" He wiggled his eyebrows and gave her a grin.
Raven rolled her eyes and had to suppress the urge to smack him. "No, Beast Boy. A monkey wouldn't even want that."
Beast Boy crossed his arms and stuck his tongue out at her. He then sobered slightly. "But really, dud, what are you doing here?"
Raven inwardly groaned; she thought she might have been able to escape. Well, no going back now. "I just wanted to talk about something…that has been on my mind. Nothing imperative – if you ask me what that word means, I'll make you think you're a turtle for the rest of your life."
Beast Boy ignored the last comment and raised an eyebrow. "And what exactly is this thing you wanted to talk about?" He studied his fingernails, trying to look impassive. His acting skills were less than competent, though.
Raven would have rolled her eyes at this if her mind wasn't in a hundred other places. "I wanted to talk about Terra."
Beast Boy sobered completely at this. He cleared his throat and tried to look impassive and playful yet again, but his attempts were futile. "Why? I already know you hate her, so what do you need to know?"
She wasn't surprised at his defensive manner; in fact, she expected it. "About your relationship with her. Listen, I'm not good at this sort of thing so just let me in so I can get this over with."
Beast Boy stared at her in confusion, but let her pass nonetheless.
Raven wrinkled her nose as she entered. "Does this place ever get cleaned? It smells." She looked around the room in distaste, not daring to take a seat.
Beast Boy scoffed. "Dude, there is totally nothing wrong with this room. It's my man-cave. I wouldn't expect you to understand. He cleared his throat and brought himself back on topic. "But seriously, what did you want to know?"
Raven sighed and found the cleanest place in the room to sit. She narrowed her eyes in his direction before she spoke. "Listen, after I tell you what's on my mind you have to swear that it never leaved this room. I'm already regretting coming here in the first place."
Beast Boy took a seat next to her, making himself become serious. "C'mon. It can't be that bad."
Raven waited for a moment. She sighed. "All right, fine. Ever since we defeated my father, I've been allowed to feel emotion without restraint."
"And the problem with that is…?" Beast Boy cut in, waiting for an answer.
Raven glared at him. "I'm getting there. The problem is…Azar, I can't believe I'm telling you this…love." She blew out a breath, happy that she managed to get that out.
She expected Beast Boy to laugh or make some sort of joke at her expense, but he did not.
"You want to know if it's worth it, right? That's why you want to talk about Terra." He was staring straight ahead of him.
Raven glanced at him, becoming slightly self conscious. "Yes."
Beast Boy sighed. "Well if you want to know if it's worth it, it is. I mean, sure our relationship didn't last that long, but for the time it did it was pretty great. It's nice to know I'll always have those memories to think back on, even if there are some bad ones that go hand in hand."
Raven nodded. "All right." She sighed. "How-how did you know you loved her?"
Beast Boy stared at her for a moment then averted his eyes. "Well, you never really know, do you? But the way I felt around her…I would get nervous and my heart would start beating rapidly. Whenever she was around, I would somehow manage to end up in a better mood than I was before. I just enjoyed talking to her and seeing her face, and looked forward to it every time I would wake up in the morning."
"Oh." She wasn't sure what else to say; she wasn't used to all this from Beast Boy. But then again, she wasn't used to her own actions either.
"But…sometimes I feel like I'm getting that feeling again, for someone else."
Raven glanced at him, surprised. "Who exactly would that be? If it's Starfire, Robin will kill you."
Beast Boy managed a laugh, but his face was slightly strained. "No, not Star. Trust me, I know how much Robin would kick my butt if it was. It's…it's hard for me to tell, because I'm pretty sure she doesn't feel the same. I'll tell you this, though – I never expected it." He laughed at himself, shaking his head.
"You can tell me, Beast Boy. You know I can keep a secret." She wasn't sure why, but she really did want to know. The curiosity was almost overbearing.
Beast Boy glanced at her, his cheeks becoming a little rosy. "It's just…ugh, it's hard for me to tell you, Raven."
Raven took a deep breath. Why would she expect him to tell her, of all people? "It's fine Beast Boy. Thanks for the help."
She moved to get up when she felt Beast Boy's strong grasp around her dainty wrist. "No, Rae. I have to tell you; I know if I don't get it out now it won't ever come out."
Raven raised an eyebrow. "What in Azar's name are you talking about, Beast Boy?"
Beast Boy visibly gulped. "Well, it's just….I mean…it's – damnit!" He grabbed her and brought his lips to hers in a forceful kiss.
It was safe to say Raven was surprised, hence why she did not respond. He drew away from her, his face contorting into fear. "Oh god Rae, I'm sorry. I mean, I knew you wouldn't feel the same way as me and all…" He sighed. "Uh, you can go back to your room now if you want." He refused to look at her.
Raven stood up and moved toward the door. Before she left, she turned back around. "Beast Boy?"
He took his time raising his eyes to meet hers.
She sighed. "I-I think I know the feeling now. Thank you." With that she left, knowing that she will be able to sleep just fine.
So yeah...that's it. Hope you all enjoyed it! Lab rat number two, hah.
Read and Review.