Love Across the Stars

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Summary: Crazy things happen when exploring the final frontier leads to a galaxy far, far away…Specifically, McCoy gets a drinking buddy in Han, Spock and Leia bond over their destroyed home planets, and Luke can't get a girl because Kirk hits on them first.

Warning: This is a crossover specifically between Star Trek XI and the original Star Wars trilogy. For the sake of ease, I will be ignoring the EUs of both verses. For the most part, if it didn't appear on-screen in the original trilogy or XI, it won't appear here (unless I forget for the sake of a pairing, joke, or plot).

Pairings: Mostly canon stuff, but crack makes some crazy pairs including Chewie/Tribble. No, seriously.

A/N: This is my first "crack" fic, let alone crossover, so please be kind. Sometimes it will be more crack, sometimes more traditional (like this introductory chapter). Suggestions welcome.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

Han Solo was silently fuming at the controls of his beloved Millennium Falcon. His trusted co-pilot, the Wookiee Chewbacca, didn't dare make a sound. He knew how Han was when upset. Unfortunately, the golden protocol droid in the back of the cockpit had yet to learn these warning signs.

"I say, Master Han, are you sure that you do not wish to speak to Mistress Leia?" C3-P0 asked. "I am quite sure she would accept your apologies-"

"My apology?" Han snapped, spinning in his seat. "Goldenrod, she's the one who owes me an apology."

Before Threepio could say anything else to incur Han's wrath, the Wookiee made a silencing gesture to keep the droid. Chewie then made a quick growl to change the subject. The last thing he needed was for Han to start going off about why he was mad at the princess.

"I don't know, I'm just following orders," Han said, briefly sliding back into his role as a reluctant general. The Emperor had been killed a few weeks earlier but those still loyal to the Empire were causing problems. All Han knew about this mission was that it involved waiting around near the Maw, something that could still put him on edge despite his stellar record on the Kessel Run.

It didn't help matter that this was punishment. From Leia. Of all the potential places he was needed in the galaxy, she decided he had to babysit a bunch of black holes.

At least Luke had gotten in trouble too. All he did was try to convince his sister that maybe Han wasn't wrong. Not that Han was right, just that he wasn't wrong. Now both heroes of the Battles of Yavin and Endor were stuck where they didn't want to be. Lazily drifting in front of the Falcon was the X-wing that held the young Jedi Knight who had single-handedly (literally) saved the galaxy. He activated his comlink.

"See anything, kid?"

"Nothing, Han. You?" The Jedi's voice crackled over the connection, an unfortunate side effect of being so close to the Maw. Despite being in visual range of each other they still had to deal with interference.

"The same."

"I'm going to fly a little closer, see if Artoo or the Force can't find something." The X-wing made a loop and headed closer to the Maw.

"Be careful, kid."

Something wasn't right. Han didn't have the Force but his gut was still pretty good at judging a situation.

"I have a bad feeling about this."

Space, the final frontier…

Jim Kirk, the youngest captain in Starfleet history, looked over at his bridge crew with a growing sense of pride. Even now, when they were all facing death or the unknown, nobody panicked. Three months into their five year mission and the ship, the glorious Enterprise, was being pulled into a wormhole that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Or maybe it was a black hole. At this point, Kirk really couldn't be sure.

Whatever was happening, the Enterprise crew was fighting it with everything available to them. Uhura had sent out a distress signal while simultaneously sending out a warning beacon to keep any other passing ships away from the danger. Spock was calculating…something, while Chekov and Sulu continued to try to steer the ship despite the gravitational pull of the hole. McCoy was swearing on behalf of everyone who couldn't and Scotty was about to eject the warp cores when it happened.

NCC-1701, Enterprise, passed through the black/worm hole.

Kirk watched in awe as the viewscreen showed the distortion of space that was occurring around the ship. The bridge, which seconds before had been a cacophony of voices and alarms, was now silent. Everyone was watching, waiting to see what would happen.

It was like they were inside a hallucinogenic dream. Colors were swirling about and changing shape in impossible fashion. Kirk began to feel nauseous just watching it but he kept his eyes on the screen, determined not to look away. Years of terrible hangovers were finally paying off. Young Chekov was less fortunate and ducked away from his station to vomit.

A few seconds passed before the ship stopped spinning. Sensors came back online and alarms began to go off again. The only thing that didn't resume was the crew. They continued to look out at the new scene before them or at Jim.

The captain himself was looking out. The viewscreen showed something completely different than before. Instead of looking at the planet they had been on their way to visit, there was a completely unfamiliar patch of space. Even though Jim could hardly claim to have memorized the galaxy, he knew there was no place like this, completely surrounded by black holes, in any system he'd heard of. Two ships were a short distance away, almost as if they were expected.

"Fascinating.," Spock said.

"Luke, did you see that?" Han, despite the distortion, sounded like a kid who had fired a blaster for the first time.

"Yeah. Felt it, too," Luke Skywalker added quietly. The presence of a few hundred new beings appearing out of nowhere had sent a shockwave through the Force.

"You ever see a ship like that?"

"Never. You want to call it in?" Luke was already edging his X-wing closer to the mysterious new ship. The curious farmboy from Tatooine had resurfaced, replacing the calm and collected persona Luke normally put on.

"I think you'd better. They might not take me seriously." Han crackled. Luke sighed. The only reason Han wouldn't contact the rest of the fleet was because it might mean having to speak to Leia. Sometimes having your best friend date your sister was a recipe for disaster. It didn't help that Han and Leia were the two most stubborn Humans he had ever met.

"Fine. But you have to call them," Luke said.

"Sulu, systems update."

"Everything is at maximum, sir," the pilot answered. "Somehow…"

"Chekov, any idea where we are?" Kirk asked, praying that his Russian navigator would actually have an answer.

"Keptin, zer iz nozing to indicate vere ve are," the teen said apologetically. He still looked a little green from the trip while the rest of his face was red from embarrassment. A couple of the bridge officers kept eyeing the pool of vomit at his feet, as if they were afraid that it would jump up and attack.

"Spock?" Kirk asked, trying to keep a desperate whine from his voice.

"Captain, it appears that the wormhole has sent us outside of the Alpha Quadrant. The region we were in is completely uncharted."

Kirk rubbed his face. This was not what he wanted to hear.

"Anything else?"

"The ship is surrounded on all sides by black holes with the only safe trajectory out being directly towards those two ships."

"Shit," Kirk muttered. "Uhura," he said loudly, "can you hail those ships?"

"Opening all frequencies…There's static, but something's there," Uhura reported. She spun around from her station. "Sir, it doesn't match anything I've ever seen before. There's no visual component either."

"Try to bring it up anyway," Kirk ordered. "Sulu, main power to shields."

"Yes, sir."

There was a loud pop overhead, followed by static like an old Earth radio. The viewscreen didn't change, so Kirk awkwardly just looked up as he spoke.

"This is Captain James Tiberius Kirk of the USS Enterprise. To whom am I speaking?"

There was a pause of static. It struck Kirk that the people on those ships might not speak English. He hoped Uhura could manage to translate whatever language they did speak.

"Uh, hello. This is Han- er, General Han Solo…captain of the Millennium Falcon. How are you?"

Kirk and Spock exchanged a look. It didn't exactly sound like they were speaking to a general.

"Han," a new voice cackled over the sound system. "Sorry about him, we're both a little surprised to see your ship here."

"And who are you?" Kirk asked.

"I'm Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight. I'm the one in the X-wing."

"What's an X-wing?"

There was a sigh.

"I'm in the ship shaped like an X." The smaller of the two ships maneuvered so that it faced the Enterprise head-on, reveling that it did indeed resemble the letter.

"Pardon me, but where are we?" Spock asked.

"The Maw cluster," the first voice, Han, answered. "Not many ships get through taking the normal space lanes, let alone through a black hole."

"And where is this cluster in relation to Earth?"

"Like…dirt earth?"

"Which quadrant are we in?" Kirk asked, hoping the terminology would be clear.

There was a long pause before another answer came.

"I think we're going to need to meet face to face," Luke said.

"Do you have a working hyperdrive?" Han asked.

"A what?" Kirk was seriously begin to worry about what was going on. "Kirk to Engineering. Scotty, do we have a hyperdrive?"

"Captain, is that some piss excuse for a joke?"

"We do not have a hyperdrive," Kirk said to the mysterious strangers.

"Follow us then, Aduba-3 isn't too far."

"Is that a choice?" Kirk challenged. Even though both Luke and Han sounded civil enough, he wasn't going to risk that this was some sort of trick.

"It's either come with us or risk being found by an Imperial Star Destroyer."

"A what?"

"If you don't know what one is, you definitely don't want to meet them unprepared in conflict," Han said.

"How about we just beam one of you here instead?" Kirk offered.

"You want to what us?"

"Captain, that may be ill advised. The black holes surrounding the ship could create distortions that would endanger our potential…visitors." Spock said quietly.

"Would that…X-wing fit in the shuttle bay?"

The Vulcan looked out the viewscreen at the smaller of the two ships. "Most likely."

"Hello? Are you still there?" Han asked. Clearly, he wasn't used to being ignored while on a com call.

"Luke, if you pilot your ship towards ours, you can use our shuttle bay to land."

"Works for me." The X-wing began to fly towards the Enterprise. As it got closer the crew studied its shape and flight style. Sulu in particular seemed eager to learn about the new vessel. Both he and Spock began to spout readings about weapons and life signs on the approaching ship.

"Spock, come with me. We need to welcome our guest," Kirk said, exiting the bridge. "Chekov, take the con."

"Aye, sir."

"Kirk to Medical."

"McCoy here."

"Meet me in the shuttle bay."


"That's an order," Kirk said sternly before cutting off communication. He and Spock were now alone in the turbolift. A sixth sense told him that his First Officer wasn't happy. "Something you want to say?"

"Captain, I highly advise that a security detail be present for this meeting. Those ships appeared to be waiting for us, which makes it highly likely that this is some sort of trap."

"It's not a trap," Kirk said. "They sounded just as surprised to see us as for us to be here."

"Perhaps an act," Spock countered.

"They could have destroyed us already. Besides, it's one person." Briefly, it occurred to Kirk that he didn't actually know that "Luke Skywalker" was a human. "How dangerous can he be on our ship?

The Vulcan nodded at his captain, his sign of silent deferment. But as soon as Kirk stepped out of the turbolift he muttered, "I have a bad feeling about this."

A/N2: I hope you enjoyed the brief moment of sanity that is the introduction. From here it will only get crazier. Drinking contests, Lando, Q, you name it.