Chapter 1: Kagome
In the big city of Tokyo, Japan it's easy to become invisible, to blend in with the crowd, especially at my school. My name is Kagome Higurashi and I'm an eighteen year old senior at Shikon High. I have a few close friends ,Sango, who's like a sister to me, Miroku, a total but lovable perv, shippo, the baby, and lastly my best friend Inuyasha. When we first met he didn't like me very much. I reminded him of something painful from his past, something he lost, or more like someone.
It's hard being stuck someone's shadow. Constantly having to ask yourself if he was looking at you or her.
Was he smiling at you or her? It hurts that it's probably not you that he's holding and laughing with. That no matter what you do she'll always be on the forefront of his mind. Though as time went on and Inuyasha and I grew closer, and I learned to ignore the hurt.
I loved him. I've always loved him, and I'm pretty sure I always will.
Ever since the night we met in the park the summer of our freshman year.
It was just starting to get dark when Kagome thought it would be a good time to go home. She had been at the park almost all day. It was nice out during the day, even now in early evening it was still quite warm. Lost in her thoughts she continued to walked by the swing sets and play structures when something out the corner of her eye caught her attention. Her head turned to the right and she saw a person she recognized from school. A was boy sitting alone on the bench under the Sakura trees with his head down. She unconsciously moved forward, and as she got closer to the boy she could start to make out his facial features, ones she couldn't see from her previous distance. His shoulders were slumped, and his silver locks blew in his face from the light breeze. He looked so sad.
"Um, excuse me?" She said in an unsure voice. "Are you alright?" She started again.
"I'm fine. Go away." Said the boy in a gruff tone.
"Are you sure? It's getting pretty late, do you need a way to get home?" She asked.
"Are you deaf you stupid girl? I said leave me al-!" As soon as his head snapped up he trailed off, the anger in his eyes subsiding as they glazed over and a new emotion appeared.
"Kikyou?" he breathed, barely a whisper.
"Uh no… my name's Kagome, you're Inuyasha right? I remember you from last year." I said smiling, and my hand out for him to take. He continued to stare at me with this far away expression. It seemed as if he was confused. Like telling him I wasn't this Kikyou person was like saying the sun was purple and the sky orange. His gaze became scrutinizing and uncomfortable. I shifted my weight from right to left. When I looked at him again I could see all the different emotions swimming in his beautiful Golden eyes.
Pain. Sorrow. Anger, just to name a few.
When I looked down I saw the picture he held in his rough hands. I didn't want to seem nosey but curiosity got the better of me.
"What's that?" I asked.
"None of your damn business!" he shouted at me hiding the picture behind his back.
"Geez I was just asking! No need to bite my head off!" I shouted right back. Was it so wrong to try and start a conversation? Apparently with Inuyasha, it was.
"Well maybe if you didn't go stickin' your nose where it didn't belong I wouldn't have!" Was he serious? Was he really that upset I asked him about a picture?
"Fine you jerk! I was only trying to find out why you looked so upset!" Spinning on my heels I stormed away from him, out of the park, and in the direction of my house.
It pissed me off even more that he was on my mind the entire time.
Two months later when school started I found out he was in almost all my classes.
It seemed we would always get paired for things. Did the Kami hate me that much? All year he continued to be a jerk. He would make fun of me and call me names 'wench' being one of his personal favorites.
The summer of our sophomore year I saw him again. In the same park, on the same bench, underneath the same Sakura trees, with the same photo in his hand. I boldly walked towards him, but this time I didn't speak to him. I simply sat down next to him on the bench. I'll admit it was a little awkward, but finally he spoke.
"What are you doing?" He asked.
"Nothing." I replied. Now that wasn't too hard. I looked off into the night sky looking at the brightly shining stars. I could feel his eyes on me. Looking at me from head to toe but still I looked toward the sky. His gaze was heated and I could feel the warm blush creeping onto my cheeks. I thought he was looking right through me, trying to see deep inside me and into my mind.
"Why are you staring at me?" Finally not being able to stand the inspection.
"Keh, I'm not wench!" he said defensively. He turned his head quickly to hide his blush.
He didn't turn his head quickly enough.
I looked down at the photo in his hands and I swear I almost fell off the bench. In the picture Inuyasha was smiling and laughing holding a slim girl around the waist. She had a small smile on her face and her eyes were filled with such happiness. The girl had perfectly pale skin that looked smooth to the touch. Her hair was long and as Black as a night sky with no moon. Said waist length hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, exposing her slightly narrow brown eyes. She looked exactly like me!
The same porcelain skin, the same raven hair and even the chocolate brown eyes were the same. There were a few key differences though but they were slight, hardly noticeable. My hair was thick and uncontrollable, my eyes were wider and lighter, you could see the sorrow in her eyes underneath that happiness, and the pain she seemed to carry made her look a lot older than she was.
"W-Who is she?" I asked still shocked by our uncanny resemblance.
"My ex girlfriend." He said. It would be an understatement to say I was shocked by his easy confession. I was expecting him to snap at me like the last time I asked him about the picture. I was ready for another 'none of your damn business!'
"We look so much alike." I didn't mean to say that. I don't know why I did. I also don't know why Inuyasha replied.
"I know." There was so much pain in those two words. I involuntarily moved closer to him. I wanted to comfort him. To make his pain go away.
"What happened to her?" I instantly regretted asking that question. Now he would think I was being nosey again. He was going to shut me out again. For some reason this made me afraid. I didn't want him to walk away from me.
I wanted to help him.
He looked up and our eyes met. There was so much sadness in his weary gaze. The street lamp above us illuminated the tears in his eyes I knew he was too proud to shed. We kept staring, searching for something, anything that would make us turn away. I was looking for the truth, but Inuyasha…he was was looking for trust.
"Inuyasha you can tell me." I said quietly, gently placing my hand on his arm. He looked down at the photo again.
"You won't understand." I could tell he didn't believe that. No matter what he said, he wanted me to understand. He knew I would. He didn't want to go through this pain alone. I didn't want him to either.
"Try me." I looked straight into his eyes, staring at my reflection in his golden gaze. Trying to prove to him that I was worthy of his secret…of his trust. Why did I want this so badly? That was a question I couldn't answer. I just felt this connection, this pull in the back of my mind telling me I needed to heal the wounds in his heart.
"Kikyou." he suddenly spoke, shaking me from my thoughts.
"What?" I asked dumbly. I was slightly blushing at being caught not paying attention.
"My girlfriend," he paused taking a deep breath, "her name was Kikyou."
Was? As in past tense? As in no longer…Oh god, Inuyasha just what happened to you?
"Was?" I honestly feared the answer to this next question.
"She committed suicide two years ago." Inuyasha's voice shook with emotion. I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my face into the side of his neck.
"Oh Inuyasha I'm so sorry, tell me everything." I slowly released my arms from around his neck, letting my hands glide down his toned arms to rest in his much bigger hands. I gave him a light squeeze to reassure him that I was there and ready to listen. He squeezed back and began his story.
"I've always been alone," he started, "my parents died when I was young, so I was sent to live my older brother Sesshomaru...we never really got along."
"She was the only one who would play with me at recess. The only one who acknowledged me. We became fast friends and the more time we spent together, the more I started to love her. And I was pretty sure she was falling for me too." For some strange reason when Inuyasha said he loved her I got this awful feeling. My stomach twisted and I felt my heart skip a painful beat. I couldn't place this unwelcome emotion but I chose to ignore it.
"I asked her to be my girlfriend in second grade. We went out on 'dates' too, on our first date we had a contest to see who could swing the highest." I chuckled a little. I couldn't help it. It's just too cute. He playfully glared at me and continued on.
"She had a little sister named Keade and they were really close. From what Kikyou had told me they never really knew their parents. They lived with their grandmother Midoriko." He squeezed my hand again.
"The beginning of sixth grade year Keade and Midoriko got into a bad car accident. Midoriko died instantly, but Keade was stuck in a coma for the rest of that year and seventh grade year. My heart was pounding and my throat tightened.
How much suffering can one person endure like that?
"Because Kikyou's grandmother was gone she had to become the sole guardian over Keade. At the start of eight grade year she told the doctors to take Keade off life support. After that Kikyo was a mess. She barely ate or slept. She started missing a lot of school and eventually her grades began to slip. I tried to be there for her, I mean I loved her, but she didn't want me near her. I would go to her house and she would yell for me to go away, or scream about how much she didn't wanna see me." His eyes took on that sheen of tears again, tears that could not be cried. I moved closer to him, our shoulders and knees touching.
"Then one day I went to check on her after school. I knocked on the door and when no one answered I became worried, she didn't even yell. I used the spare key she had given me to get in. I walked throughout the house calling her name but the whole house was still. I could just feel the despair and sadness everywhere. It was horrible." Another squeeze on my hand had me bracing myself for another painful part to this tragic story.
"I walked into her room last, and that's where I found her. She was on her bed with an empty bottle of pills still clutched in her hand. I called 911 but I knew it was too late. She was gone." Inuyasha began to shake, trying to keep his pent up feelings in check.
"It's okay Inuyasha." I soothed. He turned to me with tears running down his face. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his head to rest on my shoulder. His arms slowly wrapped around my waist, and we stayed liked that for what seemed like forever. When we pulled apart we looked into each others' eyes for the hundredth time that night.
"Thank you Kagome. I.. I really needed this." he said with a small smile adorning his handsome face. And that's when it all started.
"We became close. Eventually best friends. The more time we spent together the harder I fell, and that was two years ago. But that's all he sees me as, a friend. Sometimes I wonder when he looks at me does he see me? Or Kikyou? When he hugs me, holds my hand, or calls me late at night is he using me to fill the void that Kikyou left? At the start of our friendship he used compare me to Kikyou sometimes. I even remember him calling me her name once. It hurts. It hurts so much." I dropped my head into my hands and cried my eyes out. I felt someone gently touch my back.
I looked at my close friend Sango. She was rubbing soothing circles on my spine. I looked up to the people in my challenge day group. They shared the same looks of pity and sorrow that I'd grown accustomed to.
I took a deep breathe to regain my composure. "If you really knew me you'd know that it sucks being unimportant to the person who's most important to you.
So this is an old story that I decided to touch up and re-upload
Based of the show called If You Really Knew Me on MTV
It'll probably be a 3 part series
I hoped you enjoyed it and don't forget to...