Author's Note: I guess some of you might find the title familiar, that's because I named this story after the song Danger! High Voltage by Electric Six. I just so happened to be sitting in a bar and listening to this song when bam! This idea for the story popped up out of nowhere. (Actually at first when I was listening to the song, I had a vision of Byron and Roark singing the song on a stage whilst Volkner pole-danced to the song. Strange, I know.) I think I made a reference to a franchise somewhere in the story, you'll probably find it. :D Enjoy~!
Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon. (If I did, the running shoes would make you run much faster. ¬_¬)
-Danger! High Voltage-
There are a few things in life that can prove to be a man's worst nightmare.
Number one: Knocking up the girl you've been dating for two weeks (which is even worse if the girl was meant to be just a rebound).
Number two: Having to piss out your godforsaken kidney stones.
Number three: Getting kicked in the 'sacred region' (who could possibly forget that?).
Number four: reaching that point in your life when you finally understand that a condom is not a balloon and it's used for purposes which you desperately long for, but you can't have it.
The list goes on, but the main focus is on number four, which happens to be Sunyshore gym leader Volkner's issue at the moment (and number three, since he just so happened to be dumb and arrogant enough to badmouth Cynthia). Volkner was smart; he could build solar panels, create bridges and so on and so forth. But when it came to common knowledge, things that were usually discussed around school corridors like sex and alcohol, he knew absolutely nothing. Zilch.
Flint was the exact opposite; he was nosy and promiscuous, although he didn't do well in academics. In fact, if the exams he took actually had sex-related questions like 'name ten positions' instead of 'find the square root of 164', he'd ace through that test and get an easy A*. But this was reality and in reality, it meant him failing the exams over and over until the teachers actually gave him a D just to rid him from the exam hall. An easy way to describe him was by saying that he was one of those kids who'd snigger when their pokemon reached level 69. Instead, it was his pure talent in battling that got him far in life, so far in fact, to take him to the Elite Four.
How Flint actually fitted into this situation was simple: he was the person who poor Volkner was unknowingly lusting for. And the lightning-haired boy would never accept this, until now.
"This is stupid. Flint is stupid. There's no way I could possibly be lusting after that redhead. I mean, seriously, that hair is so 80's. I can't possibly fall in love with a guy with that kind of hair. That's right, I'm straight, straight as a Sudowoodo," Volkner kept on telling himself, but deep down inside his aching heart, he knew that he was merely lying to himself and now he only wanted one thing: to see the person responsible for all of these troubling feelings.
And that's exactly what he'd do.
"Screw my pride, I'm gonna go and see him," he decided and proceeded to exit the gym.
"Master Volkner! Are you leaving again?" one of the young pint-sized trainers and self-proclaimed 'disciples' of Volkner, asked with a hint of disappointment.
"Go away, runt," the impatient blond snapped. "Even the psychics are less annoying than you. Run along outside so an ace trainer can bully you or something."
Volkner didn't have time for pleasing little kids, there was only one person on his mind.
Travelling to the Sinnoh League was no easy task, especially when he had no flying-type pokemon and he had to rely on his lazy Lanturn to carry him all the way to Victory Road. Matters were also made worse when those annoying swimmers in their Speedos would bug him for a battle.
"I have no time for small fry," he plainly stated and rushed off.
It seemed like the journey was finally over when the tired Volkner finally finished venturing up the waterfall, but then came the most overwhelming obstacle.
"I'm a gym leader, I shouldn't be doing this, damn it!" he yelled in frustration and kicked a nearby pebble, only to have it backfire on a cave wall and hit him straight on the forehead. "I'm gonna kill Flint."
Poor Volkner had to dodge every ace trainer and every rock-type pokemon (which was a rather difficult task, considering how there was a Graveler emerging from every corner). Except for the Golbats though, the fierce gym leader gladly jolted every single one, even the poor, scared ones that were trying to flee. It was his way of expressing his rage at Flint, who just luckily hadn't been there at that moment.
And then there it was. The oh-so-grand Sinnoh League. On a small, unnamed island nonetheless.
Tired, exhausted Volkner (whose hair now matched a broomstick) slowly limped past the automatic doors and ignored every person who stopped and stared at him.
"Hello, and welcome to the pokemon centre. We restore your tired -."
"NO. My pokemon are perfectly fine."
"O-okay.." the frightened nurse squeaked without complaint.
The shop clerks from the other corner, after witnessing the nurse's kindness being backfired dreadfully back in her face, immediately shut their mouths and ducked down below the counter.
Dawn, who had just finished equipping herself with revives and hyper potions was about to enter the doors and challenge the Elite Four quickly, but after witnessing Volkner's rage, she instantly changed her mind and sat down on a couch. "I can always challenge them tomorrow…" she thought to herself reassuringly. "And I can always visit Sunyshore City another day, too. Actually, make that a month."
"Stupid elevators that take such a long time to go up, this League should really take my advice and use solar energy," he mumbled complainingly as the elevator went up, but not as fast as he wanted.
In the first room, he was greeted by a familiar face; a familiar face with eye-catching green hair with a single, recognizable cowlick at the centre of his head. He was also quite identifiable by the fact that he was rather short, something that he disdained and refused to be acknowledged.
"Hello! Welcome to the Pokemon League! I'm Aaron of the Elite Four. It's good to meet -. Oh, it's just you, Volkner." The bug-loving trainer quickly put away his pokeballs and crossed his arms. "What are you doing here?"
"Not to see you, that's for sure," the irritated blond harshly replied and pushed past him.
"H-hey!" Aaron pouted in disapproval and yelled at Volkner, who was already standing on the elevator. "I hope Bertha gives you a good beating!"
"Ah, Bertha." Volkner furrowed his eyebrows in thought as the elevator went up. "I can't possibly yell at her like I did with the others, she's scary when she's angry.."
"Well, well. You're quite the adorable Trainer, but you've -. Oh wait, I take that back, it's Volkner," the old lady joked with a friendly smile.
"Haha," Volkner sarcastically retorted.
"What brings you here, sweetie?"
"D-don't call me that." Volkner hated terms of endearment, both the words and the movie and he wouldn't even take it from a kind elderly woman. "I'm here to see Flint."
"Oh." There was a slight sureness in her voice, as if she'd expected him to say that. "Then go ahead, I was rooting for you two to get together."
If he wasn't in such a rush, then he probably would've heard her last sentence and came up with a rude comeback. Of course, then he would've gotten spanked.
As he marched down the long hall, Volkner began to notice that the atmosphere was getting much hotter and he was beginning to sweat.
"I'm almost there."
"Yo, trainer! I -. Oh hey, Volk! I wasn't expecting to see you..!" The hot-headed redhead greeted with his toothy, trademark grin.
Volkner was having none of it; his jacket was torn and worn out and his hair was a mess. Oh, his glorious lightning-styled hair. "All because of that unwitting jerk," he thought angrily.
But the 'unwitting jerk' had no idea how frustrated he was and continued to talk nonsense as usual. "Hey, Volk. What do you think about the idea of me dressing up as a clown? Wouldn't that look totally cool?"
"You'd look a burger-selling mascot."
"Huh. I feel as if someone's already done that.. Anyway, did you come here to see me?"
"Oh, cool! Do you want something or are you just paying a friendly visit?"
"I.. want something."
"Ha, I thought so. Do you need to borrow a pokemon? I can lend you one, as long as you return it after a day or two. Except for Infernape, he's the only guy I can beat in chess and I always want to be the winner, you know that. Oh, also, there's this really cool place that opened recently in Veilstone City and I really want to check it out, but none of the guys want to go with me. Aaron and Lucian are always together in Lucian's room and it's always locked so I have no idea what they do in there, although I do hear a lot of banging and I can sometimes hear Aaron shrieking. Maybe they're playing games? So yeah, they won't come with me and I don't want Bertha to travel, the poor woman's already suffering with arthritis and Cynthia's just going through her emo stage. Seriously, she's been like that for a month now and I'm getting pretty lonely, especially since that Dawn still hasn't come to challenge me yet and she promised that she'd come today, but I still haven't seen her yet! Honestly, I'm gonna scorch that girl, I won't hold back! And, and, Flareon's been acting strange lately, it seems like he has a thing for your Jolteon or something. Weird, right? But then, if they get married, we could -."
"I want you, Flint."
The talkative redhead abruptly cut off his sentence and then gave the reaction that Volkner had been expecting.
".. W-we could host a wedding on Fullmoon Island and then we could be bridesmaids or best men, whichever you'd prefer -."
"Flint, you heard me."
"…" The agitated Elite Four scratched his cheek nervously and stuttered, "W-well, do you mean you want to battle me or you want to take me out or -."
"I want to do you."
"Uh…" Flint widened his eyes in shock and wobbled, losing control of himself and almost fell into a fiery pit of lava had Volkner not caught him in time.
"You idiot.." Volkner cursed as he took him to a safer corner and sat him down.
"Y-you want to do me? Like, do me as in make an impression of me or do me as in doing what the priests in Hearthome City frown upon..?"
"You know fully well what I mean, Flint." The young blond was now blushing furiously and didn't have the courage to even glance at the Elite Four.
"Holy Arceus…" Flint muttered in disbelief. "I mean, I imagined how you'd say this a million times, but I never thought you'd actually -."
"You imagined this a million times?"
"Um, yeah." His cheeks flushed to match his hair colour. "I was kind of hoping you'd say this to me sometime."
"Why?" the perplexed gym leader continued to ask.
"B-because…" His voice trailed off as he blushed a brighter shade of scarlet and burrowed himself underneath his folded arms as a way of 'escaping' from Volkner's fixated stare. "Because I like you…"
"…" To Flint's surprise and confusion, Volkner suddenly got up and with an emotionless look on his face, headed over to the pit of lava and as he was about to step in, he was grabbed and pulled back by a startled Flint.
"W-what the hell are you doing, Volk?"
"Testing to see if I was dreaming or not," he plainly replied as if there was nothing impulsive or alarming about what he was about to do.
"You idiot." He pinched the gym leader's cheek, causing him to jerk in pain and surprise. "See, you're not dreaming."
They both relaxed and that was when Volkner realized how tightly Flint was hugging him from behind.
"I can't breathe…"
"Oh, sorry!" The embarrassed redhead immediately let go of him and laughed nervously.
"I didn't mind you doing that, though…"
Awkward moments also fitted into the list of a man's worst nightmare and this was one of them.
But there was something that Flint was determined to know and he finally plucked up the courage to ask him. "H-hey, Volk.."
"Do you just want to do me 'cause you're sexually frustrated or because -."
"I like you, Flint."
"O-okay.." The shy Elite Four burrowed his face into the back of Volkner's rugged jacket and mumbled, "So you like me as a friend or -?"
"For Dialga's sake, Flint. How dumb can you possibly get?"
"Well, I just wanted to make sure…"
"Fine, whatever. I love you. Does that make it sure enough for you?" Frustrated, impatient Volkner was now pumped up and more than excited. "Can we do it yet?" he persisted, like a little child begging for a lollipop.
"S-sure, if you want to.." Flint wasn't able to recover from shyness as quickly as Volkner. "Although, I think we might get judged if you don't buy me dinner first."
It was pretty certain that by mentioning that, Flint had relinquished all means of male dominance in their new relationship.
"Fine," Volkner agreed, less than happy. "Just so you know, I'm only doing this 'cause you want me to. I don't care about getting judged."
"I do! I'm an Elite Four, I have to live up to my reputation!"
Volkner sighed. "I have the worst taste in men…" he groaned and took hold of Flint's hand. "Come on, let's go."
As they exited the Sinnoh League, a light bulb lit up in Volkner's head.
"Hey, aren't Jolteon and Flareon both dudes?" he mentioned as they walked along the grassy patch outside the League.
"Are you seriously going to judge them after what we're doing now?" Flint pointed out and gestured to their hands, which were firmly locked into each other.
"I mean at least we're gonna marry those two first, unlike us, we're already getting down to business! I bet Arceus is frowning upon us as we speak."
Flint had a habit of talking non-stop unless someone stopped him and Volkner did just that, but not in his usual way of telling the redhead to shut up. Instead, this time he grabbed the unwitting Elite Four by the collar and placed a heavy, passionate kiss on his lips before pulling back and blushing in embarrassment. Flint slowly lifted a hand and brushed it past his lips in surprise and disbelief and unexpectedly, to Volkner's sudden shock, he grabbed the blond by the back of the neck and pulled his face to his.
Author's Note: Well, you know. Read it and please review it, right? Thank you, it's very much appreciated. ^_^