A/N: Its been a while eh? I know I've been so busy *sighs* My times been getting eaten away like no tomorrow *sobs* But I finally got a chance to finish this ^^ I hope you all like it and I'm sorry for anyone who didn't get a reply to their review, like I said its been hectic but I will be replying to these ones *pumps fist* I promise~!
All parts that are in Italics are flash backs so you guys understand where its going and whats with the switch up. I warn you the ending is sort of random but I had to think of somewhere to end it lol! So there we go!
Warnings: Smut, violence and swearing, beware my pretties~
PS: I got a poll up on my profile, it's basically asking you guys what you would like to read after I finish up Unholy Desires. It's going to be a fic based off an anime/manga, if you don't mind go and vote. It's all up to you guys after all =D
I listened to the heavy panting that echoed against the gently crafted walls of the church, making me quiver at the wanton moans that spilled from my lips. It had been two weeks since Christmas, now a new year and I saw myself heading down a very dangerous trail of self-destruction. I knew now that I would without a doubt be going to hell for the amount of immoral acts I have committed up to date. But as I gazed up and into that heated aqua gaze, I found my mind faltering and truly not caring. Bringing my hand up I let my fingers trail over the black beads of the rosary that hung from his neck, dangling along with his ruby red tie. Snapping the beads forward, I listened to the low growl that rose in his throat before he smashed his lips against mine. Tongues battled as the sound of our sloppy kisses hung around us, Grimmjow's grip that held my legs forward tightened as he picked up his speed. It didn't take long for the damn teen to get the hang of it. In fact it was like I had created a monster, every chance he had he wanted to have sex. At first he kept his hormonal actions at home but then that seemed to change quite fast. Now it's everywhere and anywhere he can get it, from the car to in some random park, I'd find him giving me that hungry look that practically melted me inside out. That was a problem as well, I felt like I was a damn teenager again with him, my body felt like it was constantly ready for him. I had no power to fight him, only the want and need to have him. Grimmjow was without a doubt a forbidden fruit and now that I've had a taste, I'm addicted.
"G-Grimm!" I whined out shamelessly as he tormented my poor prostate, causing my spine to bend at some ungodly angle.
"Fuck Ichi, you're so sexy."
Bending down to me, I moaned my approval as he dragged his teeth along the sensitive skin of my neck. Having lost my shirt a long time ago, I titled my neck as I silently asked him for more. Sharp teeth sunk in against my neck, making me practically cry out as pain teasingly ebbed its way along my throat and down my shoulder. I loved it when he hurt me, something I had come to find out over this short period of time since we've started having sex. I was without a doubt a closet masochist, another thing I couldn't seem to keep from Grimmjow. Secrets were impossible with him, he could read me like a damn book, and it was almost unnerving at times.
"Mmmm we're gonna have to do extra prayers tonight for this one berry." Grimmjow joked tenderly as he lovingly lapped at the wounded flesh, making tiny prickles of pleasure tingle along my skin.
"I-It's all your fault!" It was after all his fault, this wasn't planned, but nothing with Grimmjow ever was. I had told him I'd be late because I had to finish up some paper work here and there. He had so generously offered to help. I should have known better then to trust the blue haired bastard.
"Ya say that when really it was all yours. Teasing me by bending over the desk the way ya did, ya were practically offering yourself to me." He finished with a dark chuckle that prickled my skin with goosebumps.
"S-Shut up idiot!"
"I love it when ya blush Ichi, I just wanna lick it right off those cheeks of yours." As if to prove his point, he ran his tongue over my right cheek, making them flame even more.
"You're s-such a per-vert." I panted out as he slammed his hips forward, my nails digging into the cloth of his suit jacket.
"Only with you."
It was words like that that always seemed to shoot right through me, making my heart slam into my chest while my stomach clenched with nerves. It made my head swim with emotions that I couldn't seem to catch. Ones I didn't want to believe were my own. This kid was making me lose my mind I was sure of it. He was bad for my health, for my state of mind. He would be the end of me and from the looks of things I would love every damn minute of it. What exactly did that say about me? We had talked about this, about us and what exactly we were going to do and in the end he had me hook line and sinker. I was absolutely hopeless with him, he could make me do back flips if he wanted to. He really was a manipulative little bastard.
"I'm not trying to say this was a mistake Grimmjow, you need to understand that." I sighed out before plopping down into the seat across from him.
"Then what are you trying to say Ichi? You can't honestly tell me you feel nothing between us. Even if it is just physical attraction I know you feel it." He murmured, eyes gazing downwards as he played with the fluffy white fur ball he had so lovingly dubbed as Yuki. A beautiful name for the tiny fluff ball, she seemed to practically gravitate to the blue haired teen. Though I had found she had a soft spot for me as well.
"I-I don't know what I'm trying to say…I mean at the end of the day Grimmjow look at my job, I may not personally regret having sex with you but come on. I really screwed up."
"Your right you did and it's too late to go back now so what are you gonna do Ichigo? You gonna run away or are you gonna face it head on." Letting out a long groan I slumped back against my seat, scrubbing my hands over my face in exhaustion and it was only ten in the morning.
I knew I was diving into this head first, not caring at the moment though. All I was thinking about last night was how I wanted him, I felt like I'd go insane if I didn't have him. There's something about him that makes everything I've tried hard to build up come crumbling down with a simple gaze. It was absolutely infuriating knowing that I was so simple to break. At the same time though, it felt good to let him do the breaking of those walls. I really was in trouble.
My hands were suddenly pulled down, my face coming to view Grimmjow making my eyes go wide. I hadn't even heard him move. I felt my heart practically leap in my chest at the look in his eyes. They were just so deep, like if I wasn't careful they would swallow me whole. I felt like I could drown in his gaze, a gaze that could read me like a book.
"Do you really think I'm gonna let ya get away now that I finally have you Ichi?" Any response I held seemed to catch in my throat making me stutter out something unintelligible.
Leaning his forehead against mine I couldn't help but feel myself melt against his touch. The spicy scent of his cologne seemed to wrap around me like a warm blanket, making my skin heat with a pleasant burn. His hands ran down my arms until they came to rest next to my head. Moving forward he straddled me, long legs coming to sit on either side of me making my cock stir in its confines.
"Try to get away now berry."
All memories of that night weeks ago seemed to fade to black as lights exploded behind my eyes, my mouth hanging open as I let loose a loud cry of pleasure. My back arched off of the sturdy table, causing the velvety red cloth to pool around me, my hair spilling back against it, clashing brightly against the smooth red cloth. I felt my toes curl in my polished dress shoes, my legs trembling as I released onto my stomach and chest.
"G-Grimm." I whimpered out as he continued to thrust, though not for long before he was growling my name into the crook of my neck as he released inside me.
"Ugh!" I groaned out as his cum pumped me full, making me squirm at the slight discomfort it brought.
Panting like we had just ran a marathon I laid upon the table while he hovered over me, eyes closed as he caught his breath. Long black eyelashes fluttered making me think how they held a soft glimmer of blue hue to them, only to reveal that heart stopping gaze. Leaning down to me he gave me a lazy kiss, soft and tender. One that made my heart flutter softly inside my chest, my cheeks flushing like a damn school girl kissing her first crush. Running my hands up and along muscled arms, I could feel the deep heat that flooded through the material of his uniform jacket. Letting out a soft sigh I leaned up only to place a small kiss on his neck. I felt warm and relaxed even in a place like this and he brought me tranquility that no one else ever has. In such a short time, it was mind boggling how deeply you can feel for someone.
"We need to go." I finally murmured out, allowing my body to slump back against the newly soiled table cloth. I would without a doubt have to clean it.
"Yeah, let me just grab my bag from your office and we can head out." With a soft kiss to my forehead he went off to my office in search for said bag.
Running my fingers across my forehead I let out a long sigh, cursing myself for allowing him to do whatever he wanted. I really did spoil him. The utter thought though that I spoiled him with sex of all things just about had my mind melting and dripping out of my ears. He was eighteen years old and new exactly how to play me, it was a scary reality.
Grabbing a hold of my pants that hung limply from my one leg along with my boxers, I slipped my other leg through them before standing on shaky legs and making my way to the bathroom to clean up. As I cleaned myself I let my eyes trail over my body, eyeing the marks that stained my body purple and blue. He was rather possessive, though he knew I had absolutely no one else to even look at he still continued to mark my body. It made me fear if anybody were to ever see them, but I knew deep down no one would. No one had seen my body but him in years, the most people ever came to seeing my naked body was if I went swimming. Something I knew I wouldn't be doing anytime soon, not looking like this.
Giving my head a good shake I buttoned up my shirt, reaching out and bringing my clerical collar up to be placed in my shirt. I couldn't help but pause and stare at the tiny white circle, my heart thrumming in my chest as I did so. I really was a disgrace, having sex in such a holy place and then remotely thinking I have any right to place that collar on, it was disgusting. I've always been a liberal person but there was something's that even I couldn't do. Shoving the collar into my pants I quickly made my way out of the bathroom to find Grimmjow shutting his phone closed, a rather dazed yet agitated look marring his face.
"What's wrong?" My voice had his head snapping up to view me, blue brows furrowing at my question.
"Aizen just called me. He wants me to move back in with him." I couldn't help the shocked look that came over my face at his words, I was not expecting that.
"Yeah… He said that the families had some time to think and he said he'd rather have me living with him then in some dump."
"What did you say?"
I couldn't believe it, he had finally gotten a chance to go back home and make things better with his parents and yet I wasn't as excited as I should be. In fact I sort of felt nauseous, like I had just eaten some really bad tuna or something. My stomach seemed to have climbed into my throat and my hands were sweaty, I sort of felt like I was going into an attack of some sort. This all really made no sense, why wasn't I jumping for joy like I should be? I should be happy that I won't have to worry about him, that I won't have to be so cautious every time he enters my house. I should be ecstatic and yet I feel like him leaving might hurt me more than if he were to stay. It was a terrifying revelation that I was slowly coming to, something that was most likely impossible.
"Ichigo." Blinking my mind free I found that I had entered my own inner world of constant ramblings, making me shake my head to focus on the worried look cyan eyes were giving me.
"Sorry I got lost there for a sec, what did you say?"
"I said that I had told him to go fuck himself, I'd move into my dad's place when he comes back from business in a few months." That dry feeling that had been building up in my mouth seemed dissipate rapidly at the mention of this. It had me licking my lips to regain the moisture I had lost, my stomach settling evenly and my heart rate fluttering back down to normal.
"G-Good stuff." That was all I was able to make before turning away from him and towards the large wooden doors.
"You're not mad that I said no right?"
"Why do you ask?
"Because I know you don't like this, and me living with you causes you all kind of problems and now we're like this."
"You didn't seem so worried when you were taking me on the altar a couple minutes ago." I mumbled, not wanting to face him so instead I chose to fumble with the loose strands of my hair.
"Neither did you." Spinning me around I had to glance up a tad to meet his eyes, making my heart beat excitedly inside my chest as we made eye contact. It was bad, so bad that I was realizing what was happening.
"I told you no."
"You whined no, ya really expect me to take that seriously?"
"I-I did not whine!" A fierce blush began to stain my cheeks, making me wish I could bury my head into the holy water, or maybe something deeper.
"You're not mad?" Bringing his hand up he smoothed his palm over my reddened cheek, making me shiver at the gentle touch before I glanced up at him through my bangs. Without a doubt I felt like a small high school student again, only this time I found myself wishing a much more violent death upon myself to cover up my embarrassment.
"I'd rather you live with me than that bastard of a man, I wouldn't put you through that." A warm smile spread across his face, one that I had never really seen before and it made my heart practically sing. It made him look younger, gentle and most of all completely vulnerable. In any other case I'd say it didn't suit him, but it really did because it was only for me and not for any one else's eyes. He was letting his guard down for a moment and letting me see that he truly cared, that he was happy and I found it to be unbelievably contagious, making me smile along with him.
I knew it, the kids making me fall for him day by day, I'm truly screwed.
Pure adulterated anger flooded my mind and body, making me practically shake from head to toe as red flooded my vision. I had lost it without a doubt, something inside me had snapped from all the pent up anger and frustration I've kept inside, silently building it up as I went on day by day and now it had exploded and I felt like killing someone. I know I had a screwed up, I had let that bastard get to me and this was the result. My house looked as if a tornado had struck it, plates smashed, dents in walls, tables flipped over, glasses broken, any sign of god broken and splintering upon the now dirty floor. My fists leaked and cracked with blood from punching out my anger, now slowly bruises around my knuckles. My chest heaved as I struggled to pull in as much air as I could, arms shaking as I fought to regain my sanity that had once been there. Gripping the edge of the kitchen skin, I let the pain the rested in my hands slowly ebb its way to my conscious mind, blinking away the anger and letting me come to face the pain I had inflicted upon myself.
"Fuck!" I growled out, gazing down at my split knuckles, blood trickling down my hands and onto the black marble.
It had been years since I had lost my temper like that, so long that as I came around I was slowly becoming shocked at the amount of destruction I was able to deal. Though I couldn't help the sadistic glee that settled over me, comforting and warm at the thought of the nasty wound the bastard was probably nursing as we speak. He was long gone now, nowhere in sight. His polished black Cadillac having sped out of my driveway a good hour ago, now all that was left was the destruction he had left me with.
"Holy shit Ichi what happened?" Snapping my eyes away from the counter I found Grimmjow standing in the entry way to the kitchen.
"I-I-I" That was all I was able to mumble out as he scooted around the shards of glass, not having taken off his boots yet probably in too much shock to bother.
"Jesus Christ what happened berry?" Taking my hand gently as he spoke, he began to inspect the ugly damage on my hands.
"I-I met your step dad today." Wide cyan eyes snapped to meet my own mocha coloured eyes, pure shock evident in his gaze, before a dark aura fell into them.
"He came over here, wanting to talk to me about you. He had found out that I was helping you out at school, that we had formed a bond."
"Tell me what happened." Grimmjow's words were no more than a dark rumble of words, his eyes fiery with anger that seemed to mirror my own perfectly and he had yet to even hear what the bastard had said. Maybe it was safer for the old bastard's sake if I didn't tell him.
"I don't want you to do something stupid Grimm and if I tell you, I fear that what I've done to my own house will be nothing in what you end up doing."
"Just tell me."
"There's nothing you can do now so jus-"
"Just fucking tell me Ichigo!" I couldn't help the shocked look that came over me, his words a command that held a shaking frustration in them. I knew if I didn't tell him, then he'd just go to Aizen and find out what had happened, and that wouldn't end well.
"Fine, I'll tell you but let's just get my hands fixed up first okay?" I asked as I glanced down to see the drippings of blood that now decorated my polished white floor.
"Yeah let's do that first."
"Sorry but I don't think I quite understand what you're asking of me Mister-"
"Please call me Sousuke, and what I'm asking from you is quite simple. I want you to talk some sense into my son, to explain to him that he needs to come back home." Watching the man before me I eyed the strikingly white suit that contrasted greatly against the black button he wore. His hair a deep mocha in colour, having been push back minus one small curl that fell in front of matching coloured orbs. Those eyes of his seemed fake, even though he smiled so kindly, it was as if it didn't reach his eyes. Bringing his hands up he let his long fingers slip through is silk white tie, smoothing it against his crisp button up. The action seemed simple but I saw it held some impatience behind it, as if I wasn't agreeing with him fast enough.
"I don't think I can do that, at the end of the day Sousuke Grimmjow is going to do what he wants. I can only say so much." The man's name felt bitter on my tongue, making me wish I had a cup I could spit into. This was the man that kicked Grimmjow out for being gay. I had to watch my tongue, to keep my cool. I was a priest right now I had to keep face in front of this man.
"Do you know why he was kicked out?" I also had to make sure what I said to him, I couldn't tell him too much or he might get a tad suspicious. Nobody in their right mind would come here to seek comfort for such a thing, unless of course you're me, but then again I am a closet masochist remember?
"No he didn't."
"He likes men."
"Oh?" I had to bite my tongue to keep the laughter that was slowly bubbling up into my throat at bay. It was sort of amusing how he said this, as if expecting me to raise all holy hell. If he only knew who he was sitting in front of right now, I think he might go into shock.
"Oh? Is that all you have to say? You can't honestly be okay with this!" Those words were practically spat, making me cock a brow in question at his sudden change in disposition.
"The bible says-"
"I am well aware of what the bible says mister Aizen, having read it many times myself but I still don't understand what you want from me."
"I want you to tell him it is wrong! He's a faggot, do you understand how despicable that is, it's disgusting!" Mocha eyes flashed dangerously as he spoke, making my own eyes going wide at his words.
"Excuse me but how exactly do you expect me to change your faggot son?" I practically hissed out, my teeth grinding together at my words, anger slithering its way up my back like an evil serpent that threatened to lash out at any second.
"I want you to tell him how wrong it is, tell him he needs to change, that god wont except him for who he is otherwise!"
"I don't think god is the one who is having trouble excepting him mister Aizen."
"Just what exactly are you saying? Do you honestly think god would create him with such a disgusting habit?" The wooden chair he once sat in screeched against the waxed floor of my kitchen, helping to cover up the low growl that was building in my throat.
"Everyone is equal in the eyes of the lord of have you forgotten that sir? When god makes his children they're perfect in his eyes, it's not god who discriminates against them, its man who does that. So my advice would not be for Grimmjow but for you!" My words were dark and threatening, my hands clenching the edge of my table in fear that if I didn't find purchase there than they would in his face.
"And what would that be father?" I could hear the sarcasm that sat in his voice, tickling my inner demon and making him rage even more. I've always had a temper but have been able to push it down, keep in deep and locked away along with a bunch of other things.
"It's not Grimmjow that needs to change but you. So maybe next time you sit down to pray with your family remember to ask god for forgiveness for being the disgusting trash you are." Deep laughter filled my ears, the tone was completely mocking and it made my skin prickle with anger.
"I'm trash? You call yourself a priest yet your sitting here defending some nasty faggot, one of the biggest sins there is? How amusing."
It was as if things moved in slow motion for a few moments in time after those words. It was like they had snapped something inside of me, keeping all my anger under a thin twig that almost echoed in my ears at it snapped in half. A rush of glorious pleasure ran through my body as my fist found delicious purchase in his face. The deep low cracking of his nose was like music to my ears, angels in heaven didn't sing as good as that broken bone did. Aizen's chair clattered to the floor along with him, my fist now speckled lightly with red while his crisp white suit became tainted with his own blood. I felt a my body tremble as I tried to hold myself back, my body singing to find repeat contact with that arrogant face of his.
"The only amusing thing will be your face being rearranged by my fist, so I suggest you get the fuck out of my house before I do so."
"You bastard, how dare you hit me! Do you understand what I can do to you?" Reaching down I hauled Aizen to his feet, smashing him against the kitchen wall, teeth bared as I snarled in his face, probably mirroring a rapid animal quite well at the moment.
"Do you fucking understand what I can do to you right now? Get the fuck out of my house before I tear that egotistical look right off your face!"
"Wow remind me never to piss you off." Grimmjow joked as I finished telling him what had happened, making me let out along sigh as he finished wrapping my hands.
"I haven't lost it like that in so long."
"Did this used to be a normal occurrence?"
"Like I keep telling you Grimm, there's a lot that you don't know about me." I huffed out, watching cerulean orbs as they fixated on my injuries.
"Is it wrong that it makes me happy?" Cocking a brow at Grimmjow's question I waited for him to elaborate.
"It makes me happy that you got that angry over me." Letting out a soft snort I couldn't help but shake my head at his words.
"Why?" The question was so soft I barely heard it, but I knew he had spoken from the movement of his lips. Deep down, past the indifferent look he held there was hurt. He hurt from everything that had been said, I tried to sugar coat it but that wouldn't do because he'd know and only get upset. I knew that pain, the pain of having your father or at least the man who's supposed to be a father to you, look at you and tell you you're disgusting. It cuts you deep, even though you know he's an asshole, it still hurts knowing their looking at you that way. I don't want him to hurt, not like I did.
"Because you shouldn't get so happy over something like that, I'm pretty sure I'm fucked."
"Fuck Ichi I'm sorry for getting you involved I-"
"Did I say I regretted any of it?" I snapped, making his words stop suddenly, eyes going wide at my serious tone.
"Then don't apologize because I'd do it a thousand times over and enjoy it each and every time."
"Yeah, only when you piss me off and talk badly about my boyfriend." Silence fluttered around us, my mouth hanging slack after my spoken words leaving both me and Grimmjow to stare at each other, not knowing what had just been said.