A/N: So here we are... the last outtake.. *sniff* More will be said at the end.
To CullensTwiMistress who helped to wrangle all the crazy tenses... fluv you so hard girl! *mwah*
This outtake is dedicated to Kimboacp who wanted this... as well as to all my FB ladies who helped talked me down from the ledge as I wrote this...
Ummmm go find the youtube video of Lady Marmalade and just put it on repeat... it will help with visuals! ENJOY!
Takes place after Edward and Bella's first Valentine's Day
"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" screamed Rose while Emmett just stood there as still as a statue.
Behind me I could tell that Bella, Alice and Jasper were trying hard not to laugh, but they were losing the battle and fast. I couldn't blame them. I was trying hard not to smile as well, but the outraged look on Rose's face was enough to keep me from laughing.
"You heard the terms. You lost the bet fair and square. Hello, there is a hole in our shower in the cottage!" I reminded her.
"That was Emmett's fault. He did that damage, not me." She was pointing fingers as she spoke just to make sure I knew who she was talking about.
I nodded my assent at her words, she was correct. Her smile turned smug.
Good, then he can let go of this ridiculous idea of his.
"Um, Rose would you care to explain to me how the sofa ended up split in two?" I questioned with a slight arch in my brow.
She swiveled her head between me and Alice who had the biggest shit eating grin I had ever seen.
"It was an accident Alice, surely you saw that."
Alice snorted, "Um, Rose, I don't think what I saw was an accident. But I can tell everyone how it happened to see if they agree with you."
If Rose could blush I was fairly certain her face would be crimson. I tried to block out the mental images that Alice had of how Rose broke the couch. I saw rope and handcuffs before I successfully blocked all images. What I did see, was more than I wanted to see, ever.
When Rose saw she would get no support from us she whirled on Emmett.
"Don't you have anything to say?" I could hear the anger in her voice. We all turned towards Emmett who was silent both verbally and mentally. It had to be a first for him.
"Emmett!" shrieked Rose. I think she even stomped her foot.
That must have penetrated the haze that he was in for he turned very slowly to look at me.
"When do we do this?" Then his face busted out the megawatt smile.
"Emmett? No! We can't do this!"
"You know the rules Rose, we lost the bet." Then he shrugged. This was the wrong thing to do as Rose slapped him then stomped off to their room and slammed the door so hard that the frame cracked.
We all looked at each other then started to laugh. Bella fell onto the couch and held her stomach. Alice and Jasper were wrapped up in each other as they giggled. The mental images they were thinking had me laughing so hard that I had to sit down.
"I can hear you," bellowed Rose which only served to make us laugh harder.
I could sense the growing anger in her and through my laughter; I managed to convey that we should get lost.
"We can go shopping for what we need," squealed Alice.
"This is one shopping trip I can't wait to go on," giggled Bella.
I scooped Bella up in my arms as I ran out the door with Jasper and Alice hot on my heels. We piled into the Volvo and took off for Seattle. That day was one I would never forget. I don't think I laughed or smiled so much in my long existence. Hanging out with Bella and my siblings was fun. Add to that what we were shopping for and well, it just added to it that much more.
Three hours later and we finally emerged from the mall with all the supplies we would need for the coming weekend. I had a feeling that Emmett and Rose wouldn't be making any bets with me for a very long time.
All week long we had to listen as Rose bitched and moaned that she was refusing to go along with everything. She withheld sex from Emmett, she threatened bodily harm to all our vehicles and I think she even sat and pouted for a few hours.
By Friday, Esme had had enough of Rose and her constant whining.
"You know Rose; I don't care if you don't follow through, just stopping acting like a child. You were adult enough to make the bet and now that you lost, you sound like you're not mature enough to hack it with the big kids." She even gave her a condescending pat on the head and left the room.
There was nothing Rose hated more than being called a baby and that she didn't have the balls to take whatever was dished her way. Her eyes turned all steely with Esme's words and she bristled under the patronizing pat on her head.
"Fine, whatever. "
That was the most acquiescence that we would get out of her. I nodded.
"See you here tomorrow night Rose."
With that I skipped out of the house whistling as I made my way to Bella's house.
The next evening the six of us were gathered in the living room. The bags from our shopping trip were lying by Alice's feet. Emmett and Rose were standing in front of the four of us who were sitting on the couch.
"Ok, here are the rules. Emmett you are to dress as a woman and participate in Amateur Night at the Pretty Kitty in Port Angeles. There you will do a pole dance and give a lap dance to Rose." I looked at both of them to see if I would hear any protests. I was met with a grinning Emmett and a sullen Rose.
"Rose, you will be dressed as a man and you will entice Emmett to give you a lap dance. You must both stay in character until the dance is over. You will both wear what is in the bags. Jasper and I will help Em get ready, Alice and Bella will work with Rose. Any questions?"
They both shook their head no. I picked up Emmett's bag while Alice picked up Rose's. I gestured for them to head upstairs. Rose stomped all the way to Alice's room.
Fuckers, you are all fuckers.
I snickered at her internal outburst. Way to keep your cool there Rose.
Jasper and I followed Emmett into his room. He was already undressing. He was way too excited to dress up like a girl. Makes a person start to wonder.
"Dude," exclaimed Jazz, "wait till you get in the bathroom to get naked, I don't want to see your junk." He held up his hands in mock horror. Emmett has no qualms about walking around naked.
I held out the bag to Em, "Everything you need is in here. We can help you with the wig if you want."
I watched his eyes as he peeked into the bag. I knew exactly what he would find, sequins, feathers, spandex and pink- lots and lots of pink. I bit back a snicker.
Holy shit! They went all out. Man up, Emmett! You can so do this.
I bit my lip to keep from laughing out loud at his internal pep talk. I looked over at Jasper who had his head in his hands. Emmett took the bag without speaking and went into the bathroom. We heard him removing the items from the bag. The shock and confusion grew with each item he pulled out.
"Where in the hell did you find this stuff?" I'm not sure if he asked in horror or shock.
"The big and husky lingerie store," chortled Jasper.
"They have those?"
"Only in Seattle, bro," replied Jasper.
We heard some banging around and what might have been a struggle.
"Um, how's it going in there Em? Everything going on ok?" I tried hard not to slip into his mind to see how he was doing. It was bad enough I'd have to see him in it all night, I didn't need a preview.
"Um, it's ok, I think."
That was the final straw, me and Jasper burst out laughing. After ten minutes had passed he walked out and Jasper and I could only stare. It kinda looked like a huge piece of bubble gum had exploded all over his body.
"Is it really that bad?" Emmett twirled around and all I could think was that it was just so much pink.
"Um…it's good. Let's get the wig and make-up on," said Jasper breaking the silence in the room.
We made room for him to sit in Alice's makeup chair. I grabbed the wig while Jasper grabbed the makeup Alice had bought.
I didn't want to think about the fact that Jasper was confident enough to put it on. I learned early on that there were levels to my brothers that I'd rather not know about. Jasper concentrated on the makeup while I brushed out the wig. Alice was adamant that he have a long one. She said it would hide his large neck.
Another ten minutes was spent on his face and I was slightly horrified that Jasper had done a good job. I shook my head.
"Do I even want to know, Jasper?"
He smiled, "Nope."
I turned away and helped Emmett into his dark brown wig. It fell past his large shoulders in soft waves. It reminded me of Bella, which I found weird. So I tried to think of something other than my girlfriend while looking at my brother in drag.
I handed him the black trench coat after he had put on his heels. For the first time I was grateful that Carlisle and Esme were gone on a hunting trip. I think they would have been wondering about our sanity. I made sure that the girls were not in the hallway and then motioned for my brothers to head out to my car. We didn't want Rose and Em to see each other until he started his dance.
We drove in silence to Port Angeles. Even if we talked, I wasn't sure what we would talk about. It felt weird and all I could think about was that Em was in drag. I looked at my phone to make sure it had a full charge. There was going to pictures and videos. Of that I was certain of.
We found a spot to park, paid our cover charge and found a group of table to wait for the ladies. Emmett went to put his name on the list for dancers and then got ushered in the back to get things setup.
About ten minutes later, I felt Bella slide up next to me. She placed a kiss on my neck and took the seat next to me. I kissed her cheek.
"How did things go?" She knew what I was asking about.
She rolled her eyes, "As good as could be expected." Alice came to the table followed by Rose although I had to look twice to make sure it was her.
She took a seat at the end of the table. She was wearing black men's trousers, a white button down shirt tucked into the pants. A blood red tie was around her neck. A black felt hat was on her head, hiding her hair.
"What's with the hat?" I asked.
Bella leaned in close, her heat washed over me. "She didn't want to wear the wig. This was the compromise."
I nodded. Leave it to Rose to be difficult about this. If she was going to act this was every time she lost a bet, she needed to stop making them in my mind. Before I could comment any further, music started playing and our attention was turned towards the stage. The opening lines of some Pussycat Dolls song started and I suppressed a cringe. How anyone thought this was music was beyond me.
The next wasn't much better as it was Beyonce's Single Ladies. Of course Alice was hopping in her seat, on edge just waiting for Emmett to start dancing. I stole a glance over at Rose who was internally bashing the dancers. But what surprised me was that she was kinda looking forward to seeing Em in drag. I chuckled and buried my face in Bella's neck.
After the last girl scampered off, the lights dimmed considerably. A single spotlight shined just to the left of the pole. "Please welcome to the Pretty Kitty, Emmaline!'
Our entire table whooped and hollered. Jasper and I whistled while Bella pounded on the table. Even Rose took notice and straightened up in her chair. Suddenly a large form took up the half the spot light and started snapping along with the opening lines of Lady Marmalade from Moulin Rouge.
My mouth opened in shock. Only Em would pick such a song. Our table exploded in a riot of noise, whistles and cat calls. As Mya started to sing, he crossed the stage, still with his back turned. You could see the black coat he was wearing and a hint of the pink go-go boots he had on.
He grabbed the pole and swung to face the audience. He shimmed down the pole, opened his legs in a wide vee and then pulled himself back up slowly while arching his back. He took his coat and ripped it open displaying the outrageous costume we picked out for him. The audience clapped widely and Emmett ate it up.
I looked over to Rose who was staring with an open mouth. I had to agree, Em was a sight to behold. He had on a tight hot pink sequined tank top, hot pink boy shorts that showed just a hint of his ass cheeks. He had on black stockings that ended in his pink boots. But that wasn't all, ohh no. he carried a bright pink feather boa and there was glitter everywhere. There wasn't an inch on him that wasn't covered in glitter.
Jasper had done his make-up to look like Christina Aguilera in the video. It was apparent that Emmett copied several of the moves from the video. He swung and spun, he showed more of his assets than I ever wanted to see. He flirted with the guys that lined the stage. Most of them knew he was a dude, but they were buying into his infectious smiles and flirty looks. It was apparent that he had watched the music video to prepare for this.
He slowly made his way to Rose who sat frozen in her chair. He strutted with a sway to his hips over to wear Rose sat. He shimmed his ass in front of her, then faced her and sorta straddled her. The boa wrapped around her neck as he shimmed and grinded to the music. His hands moved all over his body, even cupped his groin and thrusting it towards Rose.
What I found funny was that half of the audience believed that Rose was a dude so they thought Emmett was a drag queen which caused them to make more noise thinking it was encouraging Emmett. He just played it up. He dipped and swayed and danced his heart out.
At the end of the song he had one leg up on Rose's thigh, the boa around her neck and they were face to face. Suddenly, Rose grabbed Emmett's face and proceeded to kiss the shit out of him. This caused the entire place to erupt in screams and applause. They were oblivious to it all as they had their tongues so far down each other's throats. In the midst of their passionate embrace, Rose's hat got knocked off and down spilled her blond hair.
The room was silent before they began to clap again. Emmett came to his senses, straightened up, pulled Rose to stand by him and they both took a fucking bow. Alice and Bella were laughing and screaming so hard. Their smiles stretched across their faces. I started laughing when I saw that Emmett's lipstick had smeared across Rose's lips and her entire face was covered in glitter.
Several people came up to Emmett asking to take pictures with him which he obliged with his dimpled grin. Some even asked for Rose to join them, which she did rather graciously. The bar tried to give us free drinks which we politely refused. It took a few minutes, but we finally were able to get out of the club.
Emmett pulled away from us all and turned to look at us all.
"That's how you do it!" he blew us a kiss and sashayed to the car.
A/N: *giggles* Ahhh Em in drag! Can't ya just picture it? I sooo can!
This story started because of a dream I had while writing Hidden Moon and was in a bit of a writers block. In one weekend I had the prologue and several chapters done... you all responded so positively to it.. I had to finish it!
I have to first thank all the readers who alerted and faved this crazy ass story! To all who reviewed THANK YOU! I read each one of them.. they made me smile and some made my day!
I wish I could thanks each and everyone of you here, but I can't but to a special few who I always looked forward to your reviews:
sholtsclaw, deedee, fanfichardcore, pixie cat and kitty, kimbo, , mariecurro, kristina and last but never least my wonderful P88! I fluv you all!
Soooo.. what up next for WVG now that TMC is done? *smiles* I am gonna try my hand at a drabble like fic and of course.. working on making He Shotts, She Scores into a full story! I will be back.. but I am gonna take some time to write...
CTM... girl... from the start you have been there... words alone can't tell what your support and help means to me... love you!
Ok.. give me one last review... please? Its all I want for Christmas!