Willful Expressions

By: Female Heero Yuy

Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroshitsuji, did not invent baseball, and most certainly cannot play it to save my life. XD

Alot of people are gonna either be mad at me or call me crazy. But I do see this as a possible yaoi coupling. LET ME HAVE MY THOUGHTS! XD

As stated, this is a Yaoi fic. If you do not like yaoi then please do not read. I have other fics that are not Yaoi that you may enjoy instead.


Ahhh his subtle hair. His elegance. His grace. The way he moved, the way he smiled. The color of his eyes that were jewels. His meloncholy ways. His childish ways. How was one to describe such an alluring person? Bard laid on his bed as Finni was fast asleep. His thoughts keeping him awake. How would someone like him even compare to someone such as he? He, who was like a rare flower that only those worthy could touch. He would was so close yet so far. Bard blushed as these thoughts invaded his mind. The image of the person flooding his mind. 'Ahh...Sebastian.' he thought with a grin on his features. 'Why are you so perfect?' he thought. 'I want to touch you. To hold you. To keep you in my embrace.' these words flooded in his mind. A tinge of color hit his cheeks.

He couldn't say how long he'd known it. But he'd fallen for the butler. The butler in black. The butler Sebastian Michealis. During his first year he'd loathed the man. He hated how perfect he was. How much better he was at simply everything. But after a while he'd realized he'd catch himself staring at him. He'd put himself in denial. Telling himself he only stared to see if the man would fail atleast once. He could not lie to himself anymore. The butler had captured his heart. Never had he fallen so hard for any man. As far as everyone knew he was a ladies man. A flirt to wanton women. But it was a lie. A complete utter lie. He always fancied men. But strangely his previous crushes had been burly men, men who had muscles, were strong. Some were even in the army as he was. Sebastian was the opposite of what he liked. But Sebastian. Sebastian being different sent a shiver down his spine. He was just as strong if not more so as those men. But his appearance was far more feminine. His slender waist. His smooth skin, that was soft. His silky hair. The scent off his body. Oh how he loved Sebastian's scent. Usually he loved the scent of gun powder and cigarettes on a man. But Sebastian's scent was that of more admiring pleasant scent. He smelt of flowers and sweets. Like candy made of sugar and flowers.

He blushed as he imagined Sebastian calling to him cutely. "Bard." he saw him calling him with a cute smile. In another image Sebastian was being shy and blushing, "Bard..." he put his hands to his cheeks as he turned away in embarrassment. And in a final image he saw himself and Sebastian sharing a romantic kiss. He squealed in delight in his bed as his flung his arms and legs rapidly as the image excited him. Finally falling on his bed and making his sheets float up then down.

Now he looked disappointed, yet tired as he had his arm on his head, "...I'm such a loser." he mumbled as he drifted off to sleep.


He watched as the object of his affection was mixing some batter in a bowl. He clutched the door frame as apart of him wished it was himself that Sebastian was holding. He wished he was that bowl. He wanted to be that wooden spoon. And what's more he wanted to be the reason Sebastian smiled. He watched as Sebastian was happily baking. This was one of the few times he could say he saw Sebastian honestly smile. One of the few times he didn't need a reason to smile simply because he was truly happy.

"Bard." came a voice. He thought he was day dreaming again. "Bard.." it tried again. "BARD!" it shouted. Breaking him of his thoughts. It hadn't been a dream Sebastian was calling his name. Just not how he imagined it.

"Oh...uhh sorry what?" he sheepishly responded.

"Have you finished preparing lunch?" he asked in irritation. The chef had been staring at him for almost 30 minutes.

"Uhh...yeah..." he blinked at the butler. He couldn't help but notice how cute Sebastian looked when he was irritated. He was trying to prevent a blush from appearing on his face.

"Are you ill? Your face is flushed." Sebastian put a hand to his head. Bard could feel his blush growing in strength.

"No..i'm fine! I'm just a tad hot!" he ran, leaving a confused demon behind.


'He touched me! He touched me! HE TOUCHED ME!' his mind was shouting in excitement as he ran back to another part of the kitchen. 'Sebastian touched me!' was his final thought before he tripped over something. "Ow!" he rubbed at his head.

"Owwww." Maylene rubbed at the back of her head. She'd dropped the mop and bucket she'd be carrying.

"Ahh! Sorry Maylene! I wasn't looking where I was going!" he helped her up.

"It's fine." she dusted off her dress. "Did something happen? You seem abit...excited."

"Ah...it's nothing...nothing at all." he smirked then dashed off.


He watched as he saw Sebastian serving Ciel his snack on the patio. He blushed with delight as he saw him doing his job effortlessly.

"Bard!" Maylene shouted at him to catch his attention.

"Ahh what?" he gripped the rifle in his hands.

"We're supposed to be testing the new bullets to the rifles!" she scolded him. Finni giggled as he watched.

"Ahhh, sorry, sorry, it's just such a beautiful day." he sheepishly replied.

"Aim at the targets! We need to make sure everything is in working order!" she was frustrated. She wanted so much to show Sebastian how good her skills were. Both her and Bard took aim at the targets and fired. They did this for a few hours. Replacing parts in the guns that were old. Testing the new bullets to ensure they were timed correctly with the shot. How much distance they got. All this and more. But soon they were finished.


"Sebastian, i'm going inside. I'm tired of this air." Ciel stated in a bored expression.

"I understand."

"I'll walk myself to my office. I want some alone time." he stated.

"Of course." he bowed, then stood straight and watched as Ciel walked into the house. He giggled as he saw his master leave his line of sight. "Humans are so complicated." he stated as he started to clean up the dirty dishes from the snack his master had enjoyed.


"Just one more test." Bard held a rifle, he got down on one knee and prepared to aim. "This one is a silver bullet." he stated as he prepared himself for the backlash of the gun. They'd been testing what metals worked best for bullets.

"Rodger!" the two saluted.

He silently prepared his shot at the target. He was calculating the distance when. "AHHHHHH!" came Finni's shout. Scaring him into pulling the trigger.

"Idiot! Why did you shout?" he shouted at him angrily.

"There was a cute little birdie." Finni responded with embarrassment. "It looked so cute! I'm sorry!"

"You made me waste a bullet!" he said as he was angry.

"Ahhhh!" Maylene screamed.

"What happened now?" Bard shouted. Everyone screaming was putting him on edge.

"Se...Sebastian!" she pointed at him. He was sitting on the ground. His hands to his leg, and he was bleeding badly.

"Ahhh... Sebastian!" he dropped the rifle and ran to him. Even though Finni had frightened him, the gun wasn't aimed at anyone as Ciel and Sebastian were on the patio, while the targets were to the far from it. He ran up to him to find out how he'd gotten hurt. "Sebastian!"

Sebastian trembled in agony as his held his wound to stop the bleeding. "Geehh..." he tried to keep himself from screaming. It was pure agony.

"How?" Bard was on his knees before the butler, he dug in his pocket for something to tie the wound with.

"It...it seems your bullet bounced off some metal and was...redirected at me..." he hissed in pain.

"Oh my god! Sebastian i'm so sorry!" he finally pulled out a cloth. There was so much blood. Even as he tied the cloth on the wound it was already seaping through. "You need a doctor!" he went to grab him, but Sebastian slapped his hands away.

"You've done enough!" he hissed in pain. "Guuhhh." he grabbed at his wound again. His gloves were stained red. He wasn't able to move his leg at all.

"Damn it let me help you!" he tried grabbing him again, this time abit more forceful. But Sebastian kept trying to keep him away, slapping at him. "Damn it Sebastian it might of hit an artery! You need a doctor!" he shouted at him.

The bullet was starting to make him feel sick. Silver was like a poison to demons. He felt himself becoming weak.

Bard grabbed at Sebastian's wrists finally to keep him from hitting him. "Stop it already!" he pulled him into his arms.

"Uhh..." he still attempted to keep up his battle to keep Bard away from him. He didn't want a human to aid him. He'd seen many demons get killed in their weakened stated. Though only his master knew he was a demon. He didn't want to risk it.

"We have to get the carriage!" Maylene shouted.

"No time! Get me a horse! I'm taking him to a doctor! Be quick about it, he's losing alot of blood! Finni get me more wrappings so I can try to stop any further bleeding!"

"Rodger!" Finni ran into the house, while Maylene and Tanaka ran to the barn. Once he'd had the bandages he wrapped Sebastian's leg tightly.

"Ahh!" he shouted in pain as the knot was tied. He was in too much pain to fight anymore. Maylene came back with Ciel's favorite horse, it was saddled and ready to go.

Bard picked up Sebastian bridal style and got on the horse, quickly.

"Take this with you." Tanaka offered a cloak. "He'll need to be kept warm, he's lost alot of blood and may become cold."

Bard nodded and grabbed the cloak, putting it between himself and Sebastian. "Tell the young master what happened." he stated before making the horse run at top speed to town.

Sebastian panted as he was sweating. His leg was throbbing, and he could plainly feel Bard clutching him to himself as he steered the horse. But he could only focus on the pain.


"Young master!" Maylene came running into his office like a banshee.

"Maylene what on earth?" he shouted in surprise. She'd scared him when she swung the door open.

"Sebastian got shot!" Finni shouted. "Bard's taking him to a doctor!"

"What?" Ciel jumped out of his chair. He was utterably stunned at the information given to him.


He forced the horse to run as fast as it's legs could carry them. Soon he saw the hospital. And his determination grew. He made the horse do a harsh stop before jumping off it with Sebastian in his arms. "I need a doctor!" he shouted at a nurse. "He's been shot!" Sebastian had already passed out from the bloodloss moments before.


For Bard waiting was like torture. But he'd recieved the news that Sebastian was going to be just fine. The bullet had narrowly missed an artery and they managed to remove it. Unfortunately the bullet had hit his shin bone. Which mean he wouldn't be able to walk for a while. He watched as the doctor put Sebastian's leg in a cast. An hour of surgery to remove the bullet had ended, he'd woken up only to find himself getting bandaged.

"Your a lucky man." the doctor stated. "If he hadn't brought you here so quickly you probably would of died from excessive blood loss." he continued to plaster Sebastian's leg.

Now that he was abit more aware he looked at his leg. It was his right leg that'd been hit. He looked at his toes with determination. He was trying to wiggle them but they wouldn't move.

"Your nerves are just shocked is all. Don't worry soon you'll be able to move your foot and leg."

"I see." he sighed in distaste. He was wearing a hospital gown at the moment.

"There all done." the doctor smiled.

"Where's my pants?" he asked as he clutched the sheet to his waist. He wasn't very comfortable being only in the hospital gown, with his gloves still on. He'd been told he'd been clentching his hands into fists though he was unconcious. He was just grateful his shorts were still on. That was one less embarrassing moment for him.

"Black nail polish Sebastian." Bard teased. "I never knew you were into that sort of stuff."

Sebastian glared at him. Because of Bard's redirected shot and his need to have surgery. His toes were being shown. Which meant his black nails were being shown for all the world to see. "Shut up! I'm still mad at you!"

"Right, right." he rubbed at his head. "Just so you know I called the young master to tell him your okay. And if it makes you feel better he's mad at me too."

"Good!" he shouted stubbornly. "And I still want my pants!" he shouted. He was having a temper tantrum.

"Oh you won't be able to get your cast through them." the doctor was writing something down. "I apologize but you'll have to bare with it for atleast a month. Unless you get some bigger pants. Unfortunately all the clothing shops are closed now." he tore the paper off his note pad and handed it to Bard. "He's well enough to go home. Take this to the front desk. The nurse will give you a prescription for him for the pain and to prevent any infections. I expect to see him again in about a month. Good evening." he left the room.

"Sebastian?" Bard looked at the demon.

Sebastian was shaking as he was positively mortified. He was to go home with no pants on. "Great...just great..." he growled.


Getting Sebastian to willingly leave the room had been a task in it self. Luckily he'd remembered the cloak Tanaka had given him. Sebastian had eagerly put it on, as his pants were folded neatly along with the rest of his clothes. They were put in the saddlebags as well as his right shoe and sock. Bard was holding a set of crutches that Sebastian was supposed to use at home. He stubbornly sat on the horse, with his arms crossed.

"Come on Sebastian!" he whined. "You expect me to walk all the way home while leading the horse!"

"Yes!" he shouted from his seat on the saddle. "You'll be lucky if I don't leave you behind!"

"Aww come on! I said I was sorry!"

"Sorry isn't good enough!"

Bard sighed. Sebastian was sitting on the horse maiden style as the cloak was long and he couldn't sit on it as he usually would. He gave up trying to be sensible though he knew it'd come back at him later.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm getting on the horse." he got himself into the saddle. Sebastian was in front of him.

"No! Get off! You're to walk all the way home!" he pounded on his chest in defiance.

Making the horse go, Sebastian nearly fell, but Bard wrapped an arm around him to keep him from falling. "Right, right. I'll keep that in mind the next time I mess up and the young master doesn't want us home before midnight okay?"

Sebastian stubbornly crossed his arms and looked away from him.

'He's so cute when he's mad...though right now I wish he wasn't mad at me.' thought with a smile.


When they'd gotten near the mansion Bard got off the horse and held the reins to pull the horse along. Sebastian was still in the saddle, but he'd gone from angry to simply miffed. Once they'd gotten near the house Bard held his arms open to him.

Sebastian sighed in distaste as he slid off the horse. Bard was carrying him bridal style towards the house.

"Sebastian!" Finni shouted in excitement as he saw them. "Ahh, your okay!"

"Yes, yes." he replied. "I just won't be able to walk for a while."

"Ohh...that stinks." Ciel responded as he walked up to them.

"Well young master I was shot in the leg."

"I know." he glared at the demon, an unsaid message within it. He saw Sebastian smiling at him. "Bard just take him to his room. The rest of you take care of the horse."



Ciel followed Bard as he led the way to Sebastian's room. Once there Ciel did a courtesy of actually opening the door for them. Watching as Bard helped Sebastian into his bed and remove the cloak. "You may go now." he stated.

"Ah...i'll have Finni bring your crutches later." he sheepishly replied before leave.

"So.." he turned to the demon. "Can't walk?"

"No." he smiled.



"You can't lie to me." he glared at the demon some more.

"But of course young master." he grinned.

"Pft, fine, sit here all day then. But if I find out your faking it to get a break i'll shoot you myself."

"Oh the young master is so kind to care for me so." he watched as his master left the room. Leaving him all alone for the time being.


Sebastian sat in his bed and realized a dreadful outcome. In the many hours after being returned and being in his room. He had to use the bathroom. The only problem was the silver had affected his body as a whole. Not just where he was shot. So his good leg felt rather weak as well. He tried to think on what he could do about his situation. The crutches were put near his desk. "Stupid Finni. He put the crutches too far." he mumbled. After a moment he pulled off his sheets to reveal he was in his button up shirt, boxer shorts, and gloves. Putting his good foot to the floor, he prepared himself. Taking deep breaths. Using his bedframe he pushed himself into a standing position. Other than being abit wobbly on his good foot he was doing pretty okay. "So far so good. Now..." he reached for his desk chair. Grabbing ahold of it and hopping on his good foot while keeping his casted leg bent behind him. He panted for a moment. "This is exceedingly tiring. How do humans do this?" he asked no one in particular. He'd never been so wounded to where he was affected before.

Reaching for the crutches, he cursed when one fell to the floor. But he'd managed to grab one. "One should be fine right?" he asked himself as he remembered seeing some humans having a broken leg and using only one crutch. His bladder was making it known that if he didn't go soon he'd regret it. Putting the crutch under his right arm as he'd seen others do. He attempted to walk. But he balance was horrible in his weakened condition. He managed to open his door. Using the wall as additional support he attempted what he now felt was a very long journey. He unfortunately didn't notice the wet spot on the floor, so when his crutch touch it it slipped from under him. He suddenly was going down. 'Ahh...how embarrassing.' he thought as he awaited the impending fall to the floor. But he'd been caught instead.

"Need a hand? Or...more so some legs?" Bard teased as he held him.

Sebastian blushed in embarrassment. "I do can do it myself!" he shouted.

"Oh? And where were you going?" he asked as he stood straight. Holding Sebastian close to himself.

He looked off to the side as the blush seemed to want to stay on his face. "To the bathroom." he mumbled.

"Oh? Then let me help you, i'm rather used to helping the wounded use the toilet." he picked Sebastian up and started walking towards the indicated room.

"Hey!" Sebastian panicked. "What are you doing! Put me down!" he struggled.

"I told you, i'm going to help you." he smiled. Sebastian was abit unnerved at how capable Bard was actually being.

"I don't need your help. I'm perfectly capable of using the toilet on my own."

"Number one or number two?" Bard asked bluntly.

Sebastian's eyes widened in shock. "What?" He didn't understand the question.

"Peeing, or pooping. Number one or number two? I was trying to be subtle." he got to a door.

Sebastian clamped his legs abit, as his blush returned. He groaned in discomfort. Never had a human ever made him feel such embarrassment in his whole life. Bard had won at being the first. He grabbed at the hem of his shirt and pushed it down. Then he mumbled something.

"Huh?" he closed the bathroom door once they were inside.

"Number one..." he whispered. He was rather sure he was as red as a tomato.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about. We all urinate. When you gotta go you gotta go." He walked over to the toilet.

"Wait! What are you doing!"

"I'm helping you. You said you had to do number one right?"

"I can do it myself!"

"How do you intend to stand with no crutches and only one good leg?"

"I'll figure it out!"

"Trust me i've done this before, the sooner you get this done the better." he prepared to put Sebastian down to stand on his good leg.

"I've changed my mind...i'll hold it!"

"You can't be serious." Bard stated. "Are you intending the hold it til you can walk again?"

"If I must then yes."

"You'll get a bladder infection attempting that. Just let me help you. I won't tell anyone I swear."

"I'd rather the bladder infection!" he shouted.

"Look if you don't go then the young master will be mad at me. Let's just save some time. We're already here. So just do your business, and i'll take you back to your room and you can pretend you never saw me. Alright?"

Sebastian weighed his options in his mind. Even if he sat on the toilet, he'd still have the difficulty of getting up again. He sighed in distaste. "Alright...BUT DON'T LOOK!" he blushed again.

"I know, I know. I'm just going to keep you steady. I'll be right behind you." he positioned himself to hold Sebastian by his hips from behind.

'Thats whats disturbing. I'll have to make this quick.' Sebastian thought as he started to relieve himself after making sure Bard wasn't looking. He all but sighed contently as he bladder emptied.

Bard was keep his eyes shut as he blushed profusely at hearing Sebastian relieve himself. 'Ahh...i'm holding him. He's so warm...he's so adorable not wanting anyone to see him use the toilet.' he gushed. 'I wonder...how big is he?' he thought after a moment. Cracking open his eye. Then closing it. 'No, no. I promised I wouldn't look...but being behind him. What a turn on.' he blushed.

'I never knew Bard was so capable medically.' Sebastian thought as he did his business. 'I'll have to keep that in mind. Though I don't like this particular part of it.' he finished.

Bard heard the final sounds of one urinating. Some toilet paper being torn and soon a flush. He decided it was a good time to take a peek. "Finished?" he asked as his chin was moving over Sebastian's shoulder.

This made Sebastian freak out completely as he had barely been replaced himself in his shorts. "I SAID DON'T LOOK!" he blushed furiously and started attacking him hastily as he twisted his body around. This turned out to be a bad idea as it caused them to fall over. Making Bard fall forward over him. But that wasn't what shocked Sebastian the most. What shocked him was in the fall. Bard's own fall had apparently been so sudden that their lips were now touching in a deep kiss. The fact that he was still blushing was not helping his situation.

Bard could only think he'd died and gone to heaven. As shocked as he was, he was apparently still able to realize what had just happened. And he didn't care in the slightest. He moaned as he felt those soft lips on his own. Only pulling away when he needed to breath.

Sebastian gasped as he was finally allowed to gain some air. He was shocked, revolted and entirely confused. "YOU BASTARD!" he started smacking Bard hastily, "GET OFF ME! GET OFF ME!" he screeched.

Bard on the other hand did his best to grab a hold of Sebastian's wrists to keep him from smacking him some more. Finally he managed to grab a hold of them and hold on to them. "Stop it! Stop it! It was an accident! AN ACCIDENT!"

Sebastian panted heavily as he slowly started to calm down. Slowly his breath calmed as well. "You didn't have to moan you sick bastard!" he shouted.

"I'm sorry! Your lips were just so amazing that I.." he was cut off.

"Shut up! Just shut up!" Sebastian rolled over on his side. "I don't even want to think about this anymore!" he shouted, then glared at Bard again. "If you tell anyone about this I will kill you!"

Bard sighed, but nodded. He got up and helped Sebastian up, and picked him up bridal style and headed to the door.

"Where do you think your going?"

"I'm taking you to your room." He stated bluntly.

"Do I look like a heathen to you? Take me to the sink so I can wash my hands!" Sebastian steamed.


Sebastian promptly smacked him upside the head. "Just do it you moron! You've already ruined a good part of my day!"

Bard sighed again for what seemed like the millionth time that day.


And now i'ma be a jerk and have a great big old TO BE CONTINUED right here. =P Naw i'm not trying to be a jerk. This is just getting really long so i'ma split it into chapters. I know I need to update my other fics too, and i'm slowly but surely working on them (not just Something New) XD

Also i've put up some more items for sale on Just look for Shunhades and you'll find my ads. I know i've got some vhs tapes that no one will probably be interested in, but i'm trying . LOL. But i've got other stuff too. Take a look. Maybe i'll actually have something your looking for =)

Anyway as i've also stated this is a YAOI fic, thus if you do not like yaoi don't read it it's as simple as that. Reviews and comments appreciated.