A Quiet Night In
(a long time ago…)

"That's a lot of Chinese for two people." Lestrade was staring at the large bag John had just toted up the stairs.

"Had to get enough for Sherlock, too."

"I thought you said—"

"I hope he won't be here. He texted that he was off to Paris for something and not to bother him… two days ago, I think. But if he does come home and I don't have anything for him… well…"

"Ah. So which box has the sweet and sour pork?"

"Erm…. this one. Uncontaminated plates and flatware in the cupboard over the oven. Don't open any other doors if you don't want to be put off your dinner."

John cursed under his breath for a few moments as he fought with the Blu-ray player. "I have it ready. Can I get you a beer?"

"Ta." Lestrade settled himself in an armchair. "It's been ages since I watched this."

"Well, it's been ages since I watched anything without obnoxious commentary."

"I don't envy you, mate."

John came back into the living room and started the movie. He and Lestrade watched and ate in companionable silence for about 20 minutes.

"Wish they'd invented speeders like that. I'd love to take a spin in one." John said.

"The T-16 skyhopper is, in fact, a car that was filmed from such an angle that you cannot see the wheels, or failing that, fitted with mirrors to reflect the sand. The cameramen smeared a jelly on the camera lenses to create a blur, and post production added a shadow under the car. You could see it in the original version of A New Hope, but George Lucas corrected it during the production of the Special Edition re-release of 1997. So you could easily procure a car like that, and 'take a spin.' I think you'd be better off buying a new car, though. Even an inexpensive one is likely to be better than one that is over forty years old."

John stared at Sherlock. "Wha-what are you doing here?"

Sherlock grabbed the remote out of his hand. "This is my flat, John. What is he doing here?"

"Greg? I invited him. And… turn that back on!"

"I don't want to watch this. Why did you buy me prawn fried rice? I wanted beef chow mein."

"Other box."

"Oh. What have you done with the spring rolls?"

"In here. Bring the remote back!"

"Where are the chopsticks?"

"They're in the… aren't you supposed to be a detective? Find them yourself! But first, turn the film back on."

"I said I didn't want to watch it."

"Greg came here to watch it with me."

"Lestrade came here because his wife and children are gone for the weekend, and he does not have the intelligence or creativity to entertain himself for an evening is his own empty house. Furthermore he has a fear of the dark, due to some repressed childhood memories, which he will not admit even to himself, so he has decided to foist his company on me."

"I wouldn't talk about repressed childhood memories if I were you," Lestrade muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know perfectly…"

"Sherlock! If you don't turn the telly back on, I'll tell Greg what you keep in the secret compartment of the bathroom cupboard."


"Hang on! I want to know what it is, now."

"What you don't know won't hurt you, Lestrade."

Lestrade glared at him for a moment. "Well, maybe you're right… You know you can call me 'Greg,' too, if you like."

"I prefer not to."

John sighed. "Sherlock? Telly?"

"As soon as Lestrade gets out of my chair."


"I refuse to restart the film—"

Lestrade got up and walked toward the sofa. "No, it's fine. I can move."

When Sherlock had settled himself into his chair with his food he picked up the remote, and said, "So, Star Wars? I'm going to enjoy this." He grinned.

"Another beer, Greg?"

"Two, thanks."

"…which is why Lucas decided to—"

"Shall we finish this another time? At my house?" Lestrade asked loudly.

"That would be brilliant, Lestrade. I've never been inside your house. I would learn—"

"I was talking to John."

"Sure, Greg. See you tomorrow."

Lestrade got up, walked a bit unsteadily for his coat, and then stomped down the stairs.

"Well, that was rude. I thought we were going to—"

"We? Sherlock, there was no 'we' until you came in and started… I mean… I didn't think even you could talk without stopping for two hours… And how did you know all that anyway? I didn't think Star Wars trivia would be up your street."


"Oh… Well… Goodnight."

"Where is The Empire Strikes Back?"

"It's on the… GO FIND IT YOURSELF!"