A/N: I… I don't know. I really don't even know… Just read. And review. Revel in the crack.
"Arthur, I'm a warlock."
"Yes." Arthur looked up expectantly at Merlin from his seat behind the desk, waiting for the rest.
Merlin stood in the doorway of his chambers, that same neckerchief tied around his neck, his black hair just beginning to show the very faintest signs of graying. Rather early for that, but with all the stress in his life…
"I'm a warlock." He spoke in the same low, throbbing voice. As if Arthur hadn't heard him.
"And I'm the king. What's your point?" Arthur felt around with his hand for his cup of wine and found it empty. Shame… if Merlin was up to his shenanigans, then he'd need a refill…
"I felt… I had to tell you."
Arthur rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I've known that for years… you're the Court Sorcerer, remember?"
Merlin seemed to ponder this seriously before saying, "I know… But I just remembered that I never actually… told you. I never actually flat out said it. You just sort of found out. And I was rather disappointed, because I always thought that when I told you it would be more…well, more."
Arthur sighed. He needed a refill. "Well, it's a little late to reveal it dramatically, isn't it?" At Merlin's crushed look, he groaned. "You want me to arrest you, Merlin?"
Merlin nodded tremulously.
Arthur stood up and came around the desk. "Will 'treason' do?"
"Until you work up the courage to accept me for who I am, yes."
Arthur sighed again, nearly collapsing his lungs, and called loudly out the open door, his voice quivering with the rage of a man who has just learned his best friend's awful secret. "Guards! GUARDS!"