"So why did you and Stan break up again?" Red peered up at me, gaping like a fish as I munched on a French fry.
"We were both finding reasons to not spend time together. We're just not into each other anymore, I guess."
"I heard that Stan's gay for Kyle and that's why he left you," Millie said, grinning like the bitchy Cheshire cat that she was. I shrugged, not completely sure but knowing it was probably right. One of our main arguments was that Stan spent too much time with Kyle, and I spent too much time with Bebe.
"I don't know. He's not my concern anyway; boys are stupid." I took a sip of my chocolate milk, disconcertingly. Bebe, who was sitting beside me, craned her neck behind us.
"Uh, Wendy…" I followed her glance to the back of the cafeteria, where Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny were standing in the lunch line, Kenny laughing and making a face at Cartman and Cartman was glaring at him.
Stan had his arm around Kyle's waist.
"Ooooh, Wendy, looks like I was right," Millie purred, but I just continued to stare.
Stan never held me like that.
"Wendy, it's not your fault if he's gay…" Bebe said, rubbing my shoulder in comfort. I didn't know what to say.
"Looks like you're gonna be going back into the dating pool again, Wendy. You might want to slow down on the fries. You don't want to get fatter, do you?" Red nodded towards my lunch tray.
I looked down at the plate of fries.
"You know you've gained a little weight since you and Stan got together, right?" Millie chipped in.
Powder looked up at her with what seemed like an angry expression.
I pushed my plate away. Maybe going on a diet or something wouldn't be such a bad idea.
Bebe stood up, grabbing her lunch tray.
"Here, I'll bring yours up too," she said, holding her hand out. I looked down at my tray, and handed it over to her.
"Sure, thanks Bebe." She smiled at me before walking off to go dump the tray.
Red barked a quiet laugh, before getting up with her tray as well.
"What's Red's problem?" I asked, annoyed; Red and I never got along too well.
"It's not really my business to say," she replied, looking down and pushing around her food on her tray. Powder never seemed to eat much, and she was always really thin…
"Okay…" I said.
Maybe going on a diet or something wouldn't be such a bad idea.
Later on at home, I stripped down and looked at myself in the mirror. I needed to see what the girls were talking about.
Millie was right; I was huge. How did I not notice that before? I was flat out disgusting. I thought back to Kyle and Stan, and how tiny Kyle happened to be.
Did he break up with me because I was fat? He couldn't have done it because of that, could he?
I decided that I was going to lose the weight. I was going to make myself beautiful and make Stan come crawling back to me.
But how was I going to pull this off?
A/N: And so begins the slippery slope… I don't know if this will be triggering, but just to be safe… Warning, it might be. I'm hoping this will help me come to terms with my own weight control issues, but I don't know if I will do this kind of thing justice. If anyone wants to input some of their struggles with an eating disorder that they would like to add into this story, PM me and tell me, I'll add as many as I can that fit.