Chapter 3: Chips & Soda

April 23,

Current weight: 129lbs

It's getting harder and harder to stick to this diet of mine. I feel like it's better to stay away from food all together then to eat and risk binging.

Binging is a new word I learned on the internet.

I've started thinking about food constantly; though I do everything I can to avoid the thought. It's maddening.

My friends have started to become concerned, because I eat almost nothing for lunch now. I can't stand eating in front of them now. I get too nervous and just can't. I'm not sure when this started, but I just noticed the behavior myself.

Powder, who usually avoid lunch most days of the week to go to the library or to leave campus was sitting at our table more often, staring at me and scooping some of her food onto my plate. It was pissing me off, but instead of saying anything I just ignore the excess food.

Red continues to push me, telling me how great I look and for me to tell her my secret. Powder glared at me every time I answered her.

"Just don't eat." I would laugh. I don't think she realized I was serious.

"Wendy! Token's having a party at his house Saturday night! We should go." Millie shoved a purple piece of paper in my face. It had the address and BYOB written in big black letters.

I don't know…."

"Wendy, Token's totally into you. You need to go."

I contemplated it. I didn't want to be noticed until I finished my weight loss. I was almost embarrassed to be seen beforehand. But Millie and the others insisted I'd go.

So that's how I ended up at Token's house Saturday night in a dress I fit into but was not comfortable in and avoiding the snack table as much as I could.

Red and Millie were pushing me towards Token, but Bebe wasn't letting me out of her sight. I guess she may have been worried that I would get into some kind of trouble, though I couldn't imagine what I could possibly do while I was trying to stay invisible.

I shouldn't be here. I'm the fattest one here. I shouldn't be here. I need to leave. This is horrible.

"Hey Wendy, you look great." Token surprised me from behind, two drinks in hand and smiling with that flawless smile.

"Thanks." I said, smiling back. "Great party tonight."

"Ha, thanks. I'm afraid Craig and Kenny are going to do something crazy to my hot tub though. I heard them say something about jell-o…."

"Oh wow, Kenny is totally crazy."

"I honestly think its Craig who's the mastermind, and Kenny is his cover up." He chuckled to himself before looking down at his occupied hands. He held out one of the cups to be.

"Oh, this is for you. You like Dr. Pepper, right?"

Soda. Crap. I didn't drink soda anymore. But this was Token Black; I couldn't turn him down, could I?

But I couldn't drink it. No way in hell would that sludge get into my body. I'm better then that.

"Yeah, totally, thanks." He smiled and opened his mouth to speak again when a scream echoed through the enormous mansion.

"Someone filled the hot tub with green jell-o!" Token's smile fell instantly.

"God damn it. I'll be right back. Token gave me another million dollar smile before athletically jogging out onto the patio behind the kitchen. I heard him yelling instantly.

"MCKORMICK!"

Plant pots crashed, and Kenny's yelling, "I thought you liked jell-o!"

I looked down at the soda in my hand. Liquid poison; I didn't want anything to do with it. But I didn't want Token to see me get rid of it.

I searched for another elaborate plant of Mrs. Black's, and dumped the soda in, and I danced for the rest of the night to try and clear the voice inside my head.

Never touch that shit again.