Shiftings - Chapter 2
A/N: So this definitely isn't smutty, but there is some Blaine with sex on the brain, so be warned.
I'm still new to this fanfiction stuff, so reviews are not only appreciated, but extremely helpful. Klisses!
I don't own Glee or anything associated with it. I won't even own my car outright for another three years.
Blaine Anderson hadn't slept. Well, maybe a little- he knew he had kissed Kurt the previous day, but he was pretty sure that some of the things he was remembering from the night before hadn't actually happened in waking life. He felt himself blush as he added a single word to that thought.
Yet. Those things hadn't happened yet.
The few days that had elapsed between seeing Kurt perform Blackbird and getting the balls to actually tell him how he felt had been pure torture for Blaine. It wasn't that he hadn't been attracted to Kurt before that, but Blaine's closely guarded inner world was largely made up of a constant swirl of raging hormones, and he was pretty much attracted to every cute guy he spent time with. Blaine had just learned to tune it out until he was alone at night with a bottle of lube, that was all. And learning that Kurt maybe kind of liked him like that on Valentine's day pretty much scared the crap out of him, truth be told. Kurt was a constant. They were so comfortable together, had been comfortable with one another instantly and completely.
He admired Kurt in so many ways – he really didn't want to ruin it just so he could work out some sexual frustration.
Not that he hadn't thought about it.
But Kurt was so smart, and Kurt was so funny, and Kurt was so talented and poised, and Kurt made him feel so safe...and that sense of safety was really too important to risk.
Jeremiah was cute, and he had flirted with Blaine, and he was older, which made Blaine feel kind of sophisticated - even if, let's be honest, there wasn't much sophistication to be had in dating a junior manager at the Gap - Sephora, maybe, but the Gap? Really now? Blaine could almost hear Kurt's voice as he thought this, and it made him smile.
The truth was, he was never in love with Jeremiah, he just wanted to nail him, but Blaine had been too much of a romantic (or an attempted romantic, anyhow) to admit that to himself. And Kurt had thought that Blaine was planning to ask him out on Valentine's day because, well...because it was fucking logical, that's why.
Blaine laughed softly at his own obliviousness. Laughed now, because he had kissed Kurt and Kurt had kissed him back and then kissed him back again and again and again...before that happened, it had been no laughing matter. During those few days between Blackbird and the kiss that changed his life, Blaine had been kicking himself over it. He'd be thinking of Kurt, of touching him, discovering him, holding him, making him moan...and then he'd realize that he could be doing those things right now if he hadn't been such a fucking idiot. And now it might be too late.
Before Blackbird, Blaine was already in love with Kurt. He was pretty sure of that by now. He just hadn't put a name to it at the time. Because he was an idiot. All he had realized at the time was that he liked spending time with Kurt. Loved it, in fact. He thought about Kurt when he wasn't around, and he was pretty sure his eyes lit up whenever Kurt walked into a room. And it wasn't just that. It wasn't just that he wanted to spend as much time with Kurt as possible, he wanted to spend as much time alone with Kurt as possible.
Blaine had other friends and Kurt did too, but he found himself almost resenting their presence sometimes when they were all hanging out as a group. Not all the time, just...sometimes. Sometimes he just craved a deep and meaningful one-on-one with Kurt so he could learn even more about him, so he could have his full and complete attention.
He had thought it was just because they were such good friends. They understood each other and had common interests and they made each other laugh...and somehow Blaine had put all of that in a distinct and separate compartment from his physical reactions to his friend. Because their friendship had nothing to do with the fact that Blaine felt a slight jolt whenever he found an excuse to touch Kurt's shoulders or smooth his collar, right? It had nothing to do with how he sometimes zoned out when he should have been studying, just thinking about the shape of Kurt's nose or the color of his eyes. It didn't have anything to do with the fact that Blaine had even had vivid dreams about having sex with Kurt, because Blaine had had vivid dreams about having sex with lots of guys. Wes, even. And Blaine didn't actually want to sleep with Wes.
But then Kurt had walked into the Warblers meeting that day, and he was so sad over that sweet little bird, and it was so real...and he had sniped a bit at Blaine and that was real too, and then he had simply announced that he had something to sing.
Blaine wasn't sure exactly how it had happened. He wasn't even sure exactly when it happened. All he knew was that between the opening notes and the completion of Kurt's clear and beautiful rendition of the song, everything had shifted. The separate compartments that Blaine had neatly organized Kurt into began to simply pour into one another, and he finally saw the whole package. His dear friend and this beautiful boy were one and the same and Blaine could have been with him all along, could have felt both safe and loved, and it wouldn't have been cheap and physical – how could he even think that?
It's him, he realized, surprised that he didn't physically fall out of his seat from the sheer impact of that realization. He's the one – It's been him all along.
Their deep and intimate conversations could have been interspersed with deep and intimate affection. He could have already memorized the feel of Kurt's silky skin, the contours of his chest and his back and his... I could be kissing those tears away right now, if I wasn't such a moron, Blaine remembered thinking to himself.
And then panic had set in. Because, Blaine realized, Kurt had seemed a bit more aloof of late. They were still close, but Kurt seemed less...well, maybe not less interested in spending time with Blaine, no, that wasn't it, just more comfortable spending time apart from him. And Kurt's constant praise of all things concerning Blaine was now peppered with small - though admittedly valid - criticisms.
It made Blaine nervous. He couldn't lose Kurt now, he just couldn't. Hence the idea for the duet. It was perfect, really. It was the perfect excuse to be around Kurt as much as possible, to have him all to himself.
He hadn't planned on telling Kurt how he felt that day. Not exactly. He had planned on singing his heart out, on staring into Kurt's eyes and putting every ounce of love into that performance. He had kind of hoped that Kurt might make the first move, or that maybe singing the song with him would give Blaine enough courage to do it himself. Music was safe. Singing to him was definitely the way to go. But when Kurt asked him, point-blank...
He hadn't known what he was going to say or do. But Kurt had his number, and he wasn't letting Blaine off the hook this time, and his eyes were so pure and he demanded nothing but the same simple honesty that Kurt had always offered him, and Blaine just closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and went for it, stumbling over his words in a desperate attempt to express some small fraction of what he was feeling.
When he leaned in to kiss Kurt he did so slowly, his heart pounding, attempting to give his friend every opportunity to stop him, to object, to say it was all just too little too late...but then Kurt simply tipped his head to the side and parted his lips, and there was no hesitation at all, and Blaine felt like he was going to burst into tears, because he'd never been this happy before and he had never done anything that felt so perfect in his life.
Blaine slowly came back to himself as he felt something warm pressed into his hand. He blinked rapidly, and realized that he had walked into the Lima Bean but hadn't actually gotten into line and ordered anything. He had just drifted to a table and sat down, lost in his sleep-deprived reverie over Kurt. A reverie so intense, in fact, that it took him a moment to realize that Kurt was actually sitting next to him instead of simply continuing to present himself as a radiant picture in Blaine's mind.
The warmth in Blaine's hand was the medium drip coffee that Kurt had gotten for him. Given his exhaustion, he would have gotten an extra-large had he remembered to order anything at all, but he was so freshly touched by Kurt's intimate knowledge of his coffee order that he wouldn't have traded that particular medium cup of coffee for anything in the world.
He gazed over at Kurt and smiled stupidly, his vocal chords suddenly and completely arrested. Kurt smiled back just as goofily, and Blaine noticed that he was looking pretty tired too.
He also noticed that Kurt was sitting directly beside him instead of across from him as usual.
"I...um, I was going to come over and say hi when I first got here, but you looked like you were thinking, and I didn't want to interrupt," Kurt said, blushing hard as he looked at Blaine.
"I was thinking about you," Blaine replied, and lightly touched Kurt's hand on the table, stroking his fingers.
Kurt dropped his eyes from Blaine's, blushing an even deeper crimson, but raised his fingers slightly, intertwining them with Blaine's. Blaine had never seen Kurt look so shy. He decided that it was painfully adorable, and he wanted to see even more of it.
"I barely got any sleep last night," Blaine continued. "I...I think yesterday might have been the best day of my life." He put down his coffee and used the hand that wasn't playing with Kurt's fingers to gently touch him under the chin and lift his face so that Kurt was looking into his eyes again.
"Because of you," Blaine added in a whisper, and Kurt inhaled sharply, his eyes beginning to shine with tears.
Blaine let his hand fall from Kurt's chin. "Don't cry, Kurt," he breathed softly. "I'm sorry if I'm being too..." Kurt's eyes widened and he shook his head firmly.
"No, Blaine, no...I just..I..I mean, me too. I just can't...it's not too much. I still just can't believe it's real."
Blaine smiled and cupped Kurt's cheek. Kurt closed his eyes and sighed into the touch. Blaine then leaned in and kissed Kurt delicately, lingering and savoring the sweetness of it as their lips slowly worked together, surer than they had been yesterday, but with just as much electricity.
They were in the middle of a crowded coffee shop and at this point they were probably going to be late for school, but neither boy cared, as the kiss deepened and Blaine felt Kurt's fingers threading through his hair. The fingers of his other hand were still interlaced with Blaine's on the table, and they stroked one another with a slow and almost-innocent sensuality. The outside world had ceased to exist. Blaine pulled back just far enough to speak, his lips still slightly brushing against Kurt's as he did so.
"It's real," Blaine breathed, before falling back against Kurt's lips and losing himself all over again.