It all started when I came to La Push to visit Jake. I should have known something crazy and life changing would have happened- it usually does when I am with him. The first time was when we became friends. Another time was when we were around 12. We were just hanging out and then he suddenly kissed me. That's when our relationship began. It continued till we were around 16, and then we ran into the most epic time in our lives- when my dad died.
Jake stayed with me every night as I cried and hugged me as I fell apart. It changed me in a way that I couldn't describe. My mom decided a year later that she couldn't take it anymore and needed to get out of the state of Washington. So she packed up our stuff and told me it was time to move on with our lives. I made a deal with her to leave without a fight as long as she didn't sell the house, and with luck and much convincing she made it a deal.
My last moments with Jake ended with goodbyes and promises of loving each other till the end. Yes, we left it just as friends. We went back to square one and didn't turn back on our decision. We both couldn't handle a long distance relationship. It just wasn't us, and we both agreed to that. What we had was...it was good. We both knew that, but at some point we both knew we had to let go- for each other. We kissed that one last time and I left with a sad smile on my face. From then, we wrote to each other, still being the inseparable friends we once were.
It was just a few days ago that Jake made me want to come back to La Push for a visit, and that was for his graduation.
I remember when he came out for mine. I smiled at the thought and then rolled my eyes. Of course, I was the girl that graduated two years early (because La Push had a more advanced curriculum so I moved up two grades). Jake shouted and cheered for me (along with my mom) as I walked across the stage, finally becoming a high school graduate. I smiled at the two in the audience and couldn't wait for the ceremony to get done with. Once it finally did end, I was racing to find Jake through the crowd of people. He found me with a smile and I jumped into his arms.
"Damn Jake!" I smiled as I let him go a bit. "What the heck happened to you?" I looked him over and bit my lip. He was hot! His dark long hair was now cropped and gelled. His muscles were all tight and his tan skin was overly warm.
"I could ask you the same thing Bells" he smirked as he looked me over. I blushed a bit and rolled my eyes.
"You grew like over a foot!" I exclaimed.
"You grew too!" he argued in the same tone with a smile.
I shook my head with a smile and hugged him again. "I missed you."
"I missed you too." he said and kissed my head.
We walked out of the gym hand in hand and met my mom back at the car. She took the three of us out to dinner and had us laughing the whole time. When we were finally home and alone in my backyard, I couldn't help but snuggle closer to Jake. He had his arm around me, his head lowered on top of mine as we lay on the hammock looking up at the stars.
I felt his smirk and he kissed my head again. "I missed your smell," he said.
I let out a laugh and looked up to him. "My smell?"
He nodded and kissed my nose. "Yup, your smell."
I laughed again and then sniffed his side. "You smell pretty good too." I said.
He rolled his eyes and I couldn't help but laugh again. Our hands became entwined somehow and when the time to serious, I found myself playing with them.
"So when do you have to leave?" I questioned quietly.
He sighed and rubbed his thumb against my fingers. "Tomorrow."
"That soon?" I asked, trying to hide my sadness.
"Yea" he whispered. "I have to get back." I nodded and swallowed hard. He was right. He had a life. A life that I wasn't in.
"Don't do that" he said.
"Don't do that." he repeated.
"Do what?" I asked confused.
"Think like that. I know what your thinking" he said.
"Oh really? And what am I thinking?" I questioned.
"That I have to get back to my life."
I sighed. Damn he was good.
"You're apart of my life too. It's just...work and school. It's hard to miss a lot of school and balance it with work. Bells I would-"
"Its ok." I said looking up and smiling. "I get it. Its ok."
I shook my head. "Its ok. You're here now and that's all that matters to me. You came and it was the best surprise ever."
We laid in silence, just looking up at the stars.
"No one can replace you, you know." Jake said after a few minutes.
I smiled a bit. "I know, and no one can replace you."
So now, here I am, on an airplane back to my hometown. Billy let me know that Jake's graduation party was tonight. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to make it to his actual graduation because of Ben, aka my little brother. Yes, my mom got remarried. She met Phil and they hit it off from there. He was a pretty nice guy, and he was a minor league baseball player, which was cool. But he was always traveling, and once she was pregnant she unable to travel. Then when she finally went to the hospital to have Ben, Phil almost didn't make it. It was just a few weeks after the birth of their son and my brother, that he resumed his career. My mom stayed home at first, but the depression started to get to her. She began taking anti- depressants and had a hard time taking care of Ben while Phil was away. So I sent her off to be with Phil. I took time off from college and stayed home to be with Ben.
They set me up with a credit card and gave me loads of cash, and even called numerous times, but they seemed to miss us enough to come home.
I knew the date of Jake's graduation ceremony, and made sure to remind my mom everyday. Each time she would say of course and promise she was coming home to be with him, but the night I was supposed to leave to catch my plane, she called and begged me not to leave because Phil's team made it into some semi final thing.
At first I was upset. I told her practically everyday that I needed to leave, and it was her kid! But then as I was yelling at her through the phone, Ben came in the room and found me upset. He hugged his blanket and stood in the doorway of the kitchen highly upset.
He didn't usually see me upset. It was a rarity that I lost my temper with him. He was a good kid (with good looks I must add.) His brown hair was a perfect color and he had the cute brown eyes to match. He could be a total maniac at times, but always sweet and kind. He pushed me to my limits at times, but it always ended with a smile or a kiss on the head. We made sure to look out and take care of each other, no matter if we disagreed about the extent of it.
So I quickly hung up the phone and ran to him with open arms. I repeatedly said I was sorry, for not only having him witness that, but also waking him up from his sleep. He didn't say anything, just kept hugging me tight. Eventually, he fell asleep in my arms as we laid on the couch together. It was then, as I watched as he slept, that I told myself I would just go to Jake's graduation party.