Title: Feeling Good
Challenge: The Kurt & Chris Song Challenge at porcelain_fans LJ comm..
Song: Feeling Good the Adam Lambert version
Rating: T but…hardish T…swears and sexiness
Summary: Blaine catches Kurt practicing. (note this is not a metaphor, Kurt really is just singing one lunchtime!)
Spoilers: Future spoilers...I think for today's episode mostly. Not the major ones leaked this week.
Words: about 3300
A/N: Cutting it very tight with this challenge, it's kind due now. But I made it even if I only got four hours sleep and am now on my second coffee and it's 8am and I'v ebeen up four hours. Now a 16 hour day which I have to get through alive in order to watch the new Glee. Anyway, I've always wanted to write for this song and I'd recommend you go and listen to it first because I think it's tremendously sexy so it just kind of happened. Not my usual Blaine/Kurt dynamic but hopefully believable.
Huge thanks to my brand new beta s0leil, who read this about six hours after putting her hand up as a potential beta and managed to find her way through the mess of stream-of-consciousness that is my writing. She's certainly made it a much better read. Hooray!
Can't wait to hear what you think, that is, if anyone out there manages to sit still long enough to read it!
It's lunchtime and Blaine can't find Kurt. That, in and of itself, should not be cause for concern. At Dalton, before either one of them transferred, they'd occasionally not seen each other during lunch. For the few weeks they'd been split between schools, there had been text messages during lunch but little else. But yesterday, their first day together at McKinley, they'd made plans and had been beside each other not just at lunch but in between most classes. Which was good because lunchtime yesterday came complete with slushie facials, a harsh exchange with some of the football players and then a reasonable sized brawl between the New Directions boys and said jocks. So Blaine's heart beats a little harder when no one knows where his boyfriend is.
Except Kurt hadn't seemed that upset about it. Rattled, yes, but not as phased as Blaine remembered him being before he'd left McKinley the first time. Kurt had shrugged a lot of it off and squeezed Blaine's hand and almost seemed to enjoy rinsing red slushie out of his boyfriend's hair.
He has already talked to all the girls and Finn and Puck and checked the library and the alcove at the back of the school that Kurt had pointed out the day before. Now he's in the halls, abandoned for the sun outside by everyone else, and is wondering where else to look. He heads towards the auditorium which he rationalizes is sure to be where he is even as he starts thinking of where else he can search after.
As he climbs the stairs and cracks open the door at the back of the large theater, he immediately identifies Kurt's voice and breathes a sigh of relief. He's singing, he's fine, he's sitting alone on a stool at centerstage with his eyes closed and a hand on his thigh, fingers keeping beat to a background track playing through the theater's sound system.
Blaine opens his mouth to say something, to tell Kurt he ran off on him and jokingly say he was worried even while making sure Kurt knows he actually really was, but something catches his voice in his throat and instead he's shutting the door with the smallest of clicks and just waiting.
Kurt is singing a classic, but the background track is one of the newer versions, heavier on the bass and the piano than in more classic arrangements. "Feeling Good" by oh so many artists has always sent a shiver up Blaine's spine and now, in front of him, Kurt is playing with it. Actively playing with it. And Blaine has never seen Kurt play with anything musically. He has only ever seen the polished final products and their laid back duets to songs in the car.
Now, Kurt isn't quite sitting in the notes properly, cutting them short or sliding around to feel out what sounds better. When the song takes off he's mouthing some words, singing others and stringing the notes out further than he has any right to. His fingers continue to flick against his thigh and it's captivating once Blaine realizes that he's playing an imaginary piano across his knees. His voice slips up and down and it's lower than it usually is when he sings. Not anything crazy low, nothing lower than Blaine's heard before but low for Kurt.
Breath catches in his throat and he feels a little lightheaded and he's creeping forward without realizing it. Careful not to make a sound, gaze glued to Kurt, watching the flicker of closed eyelids as his forehead creases and he considers the notes. Slides seamlessly into the second verse, relaxing a little and finding the tempo, slipping up to his favored octave and then higher, keening and Blaine has heard that note before from Kurt but never in a song.
When he reaches the stage he lays his hands there and looks up, trying to ignore the shake in his fingers, ignore the reason for it being there. But this boy is stunning. This boy is absolutely unbelievably fucking stunning. And he has no idea. Even after a month together he has no comprehension of what he is to Blaine, of how hard and how often Blaine has to pull himself back because even though there's progress and Kurt is eager, Blaine won't push. They kiss and then pet and occasionally Kurt's hips will grind down against Blaine's and Blaine will return the favor but not much more than that.
And mostly, Blaine thinks, it's because Kurt wouldn't usually let Blaine see him like this, wouldn't entertain the idea as being a good one. Which is such a huge mistake because right now, as Kurt shifts on his stool and flexes his fingers and lets his head drop a little as his voice scratches over the lyrics, he has never looked better.
Into the finale of the song, the music in the background loud and clashing and ferocious but nothing on Kurt who has hit that high keening note again, now in a jumbled mess of vowels and then higher and then slithered down to a lower register, voice husky with lack of breath. And that does something to Blaine, rather predictably, but that voice, that body backlit with harsh stage lights, that boy, does things to him and in general he'd keep them hidden away, late at night, but not now. He really can't.
Voice sliding lower, Kurt's hips—and thank god Blaine has only just noticed—rock slightly into the beat of the song. Slowing until he comes to rest—still, absurdly still, he murmurs the very last words in a voice that sounds sated and a little scratchy and then all high-pitched and shocked as he opens his eyes and yelps.
Damn. Caught. "Hey, Kurt." He tries for casual but his voice comes out completely wrecked and Kurt just looks confused.
"You know you shouldn't sneak around," Kurt chastises and attempts to busy himself by standing up and straightening his clothes but he's obviously flustered.
"Yeah, sorry, just couldn't help but watch." His voice is still absurdly high so he clears his throat and remembers to breathe, walks to the side of the stage and walks up the steps, moving to stand a foot in front of Kurt who just clasps his hands together nervously because no one was meant to see that.
Almost reading his thoughts, Blaine asks and now his voice is low as a new thought occurs. "Has anyone ever seen you sing that?"
Kurt misinterprets the thinking behind the question and his gaze falls to the floor as he blushes and all Blaine can see are the silhouettes of his eyelashes. "No, of course not, it's just for me. It's just for practice."
All at once Blaine's pleased and outraged. Pleased because he doesn't want to imagine Kurt singing that song in front of anyone else, doesn't want another soul to see his fingers against his thigh or his hips rocking or his voice skirting around the edges of notes and words. But he's also well aware that Kurt never would have sung it to him like this, never would have let anyone else hear any of it. And what a waste.
Kurt can't tell what Blaine is thinking and it's a bit disconcerting because in the last month he's gotten pretty comfortable with being able to read his expressions. "I just like to mess around with songs sometimes. It doesn't mean anything. I know it's a bit lower than I usually sing and I wasn't really hitting any of the notes right but you weren't meant to be there."
He thinks Blaine is upset that he was singing badly. That's obvious to Kurt. But Blaine is far more concerned with the tightness of Kurt's shirt, the one now on show because he's left his oversized sweater on a chair somewhere.
"It's not like I think my voice is going to get any lower or anything. I just thought I'd try. Practice. Practicing can't hurt." He's almost rambling now, cheeks tinged red with embarrassment as he recalls how loosely he was playing with the song, how little regard he had shown for doing any of it perfectly. For an audience. Because there wasn't meant to be one. "Anyway, you weren't supposed to hear it," he finishes lamely.
As soon as Kurt finishes Blaine's whispering and he doesn't think about it, just says it. "Like hell."
Kurt's brow furrows because Blaine looks visibly agitated. "What?"
"Like hell you weren't going to let me hear that." He's committed to following through on the conversation so he's formulating something of an approach.
"What?" Kurt asks dumbly again.
"It was amazing," Blaine breathes.
"You thought it was okay?" Kurt can't believe it but the way Blaine says it…it's in a tone that Kurt has started to believe Blaine reserves for the truth, for things he mutters half by accident, completely with conviction, almost always against the skin of Kurt's neck. "It just sounds a bit weird. I keep wanting to shift to a higher key." His head cocks to the side as he considers the boy standing in front him and the thoughts drifting behind his eyes, thoughts he can't begin to fathom.
Blaine looks like he wants to reach out and touch but he doesn't. "Why that song?"
"Just…I don't know, it covers such a large vocal range and it's been sung by like a million different artists so I can practice and experiment with it easily. I've heard all the versions so I can just slide up or down as I like. And, I don't know, it's a bit contemporary but a classic, a bit sexy. It's just good practice."
Blaine just stares, wondering if Kurt is seducing him on purpose, wondering if the words with the double meanings are meant. And Kurt grows uncomfortable under that gaze because what the hell?
Kurt takes a step back. "I really wish you hadn't seen me. I'm totally not ready to sing that in front of you and I wasn't even really doing it right. I didn't even have my eyes open -"
He's cut off as Blaine asks, "Do you feel it?"
"The song, do you get why it's such a sexy song?"
Kurt's mouth opens and shuts and it would be comical but Blaine's gaze is hot and piercing and Kurt just continues to feel confused and stupid. He can't tell if Blaine is upset or sad or making fun of him. It's all so foreign, he's never, ever seen Blaine like this, so he settles for a noncommittal noise deep in his throat and waits it out.
"Because when you were singing it…you were kind of rocking and I didn't really see much of it, I think I was too busy listening to you and watching your mouth and your hands but I'm sure you were rocking with the beat."
More useless opening and closing of his mouth and Blaine walks away, lines up the background track again from offstage and lets the music start to play again through the speakers. He stares hard and long at Kurt, having some internal debate and apparently losing. Kurt doesn't begin to sing along but finds himself fighting the urge to rock on the spot to the beat when it picks up. Blaine is right, he would have been rocking because this song plays at his nerves and his mind and makes him think things about Blaine that he wouldn't usually admit to. Something between the beat and the melody and the way his voice twines around the words.
Still somewhat bemused when Blaine crosses behind him, Kurt suddenly feels like stalked prey, feels a hand across the side of his neck, feather light and then pressed, trailing around as Blaine actually circles him until he's just at the periphery and Kurt looks back and Blaine looks…hungry.
Both hands against his shoulders, aligning them, murmuring with the music but hardly even thinking about notes, Blaine steps forward, his arms slipping down Kurt's back to rest at his waist then his hips and then pulling him back and Kurt actually whimpers at the contact. Wants to press a hand over his mouth because he's shocked more at himself than at Blaine right now. Shocked that he got so caught up in the music and still is and that he's whimpering even though this is not dapper, gentlemanly Blaine looking at him through lashes and asking permission. This is something else. This is the something else he's wondered about, caught glimpses of in heated gazes and read about in stories and seen in movies and never been able to evoke. Had given up, had written that off as unattainable and stopped thinking about whether he actually wanted it and yet here it is.
He has accidentally reduced this man, his boyfriend—super controlled, super sweet Blaine—to something hungry and rocking against him, behind him, hard and with a grip at his hips that aches.
Lips on his neck and a hard cock pressed against his ass; Kurt is rocking back, unable to help himself because until five minutes ago he hadn't admitted to wanting anything like this from Blaine. Raw and sudden and out of control but now he can't imagine it otherwise. Blaine's teeth skirt down a tendon and Kurt makes a noise that's too loud in response. Blaine doesn't care, doesn't falter.
But Kurt cares and twists and mutes his voice the best way he knows how, pressing his lips to Blaine's and falling into a kiss too intense for his knees to bear. Leans hard into Blaine and they're both still rocking, the beat still behind them, beneath them— too slow, the friction dragged out too long. Blaine keeps kissing him and Kurt keeps up, breathless and choking on words and sounds and disbelief and then he shifts his attention.
A hand in Blaine's hair, his mouth at his neck, Kurt manages to wriggle a thigh between Blaine's and it should give Blaine the chance to think but he ends up talking instead. Rambling against Kurt's hair or cheek, whatever he can reach.
"You have no idea how hot you looked. How raw and intense and sexy." He runs out of words and groans and that sound carries more weight with Kurt and he finds himself biting down on the neck his lips are pressed to. "I am trying so fucking hard not to rush this. Not just for you, for both of us, and then I catch you like this." Kurt has actually raised his hands to pull at the neck of Blaine's T-shirt, stretching it so he can kiss down his chest, just a few inches, desperately.
Kurt feels a growl reverberate, can feel the heartbeat and hears himself growling back, "More," and dragging with hands that tug at the material under them until they're off stage right and Blaine has caught up, taken over and pushes Kurt far too powerfully back against a wall.
There's the sound of contact and the breath is knocked from his lungs and maybe it hurts just a little and he never would have guessed he'd get off on that, never would have featured it in his kaleidoscope of Blaine-related fantasies, but when Blaine presses taut and hot and ubiquitous over him, pushing him back, crowding him and physics becomes a real player in the interaction, he wants it to happen again.
Blaine's hands are in his hair, ruining it, no doubt, his hips against him, his cock now undeniably pressed to his hips, to his own erection, and everything else touching—friction and electricity. And Blaine still talking against his skin.
"What the fuck am I supposed to do, Kurt?" and it actually sounds like a plea. "I can't resist you—it's getting that bad. I get myself off at least twice a day to just thoughts of you and I know, I know that we will get to everything. All of it. Even if you're not sure yet. But right now I can't wait. I can't." He sounds wrecked, his voice husky and strained and like he's fighting an impossible battle. "I just…" he trails off, voice breaking then broken and just captures Kurt's mouth with his and bites down just a little on his tongue and moans recklessly at the taste and the feel of the body against his.
Kurt breathes in through his nose the scent of the man against him clouding his senses alongside the flood of adrenaline and the euphoria of it all. But Blaine is pleading with him, pleading, almost begging and it is fucking hot but that doesn't help and with every ounce of willpower Kurt breaks the kiss, breaks the contact, lifts his hands to Blaine's chest from where they've managed to find his ass and were gripping, takes a second to feel the racing heartbeat that matches his and then shoves back. Hard.
Blaine stumbles, only just managing to catch himself before he goes sprawling to the ground, and ends up standing wild-eyed, several feet from where Kurt is leaning back against the wall, breathing hard and looking just a little depraved.
"Stop," Kurt says and it sounds like a demand. Before Blaine can register it properly, refusing to chance the retreat, Kurt keeps talking. "Not forever, just now. We can't do this here." Despite his best intentions Kurt's eyes wander down the length of his boyfriend, eying the scratch on his forearm, the mussed shirt that shows off the skin of his hip, the unmistakable bulge in his jeans.
When he looks back up Blaine is still staring into his eyes. Still hungry but in stasis. "I want to go home. Now." Kurt says before he even really realizes what he's saying. "I want you to calm down and walk out of here like nothing's amiss and get in your car and go back to my place and pick this up where I stopped it."
Blaine's eyes widen and he manages a whispering question, "Kurt?"
"We've waited long enough. We've waited and I don't even know why. If I have you," he blushes and Blaine wonders why, "And you want me, I'd be a fool not to go along with it."
"No," Blaine responds, indeed having calmed down and a little mortified to think back on how rough he'd been, how presumptuous, and now Kurt just wants to 'go along with it'? "I don't want to force you into anything."
Kurt huffs and runs a hand through his hair, trying to get it back in place, and he's frustrated because they could be at the car by now. "Fuck, Blaine, I want this. Couldn't you feel that?"
Now it's Blaine's turn to blush and let his eyes wander but Kurt has been thinking about Finn and Rachel and Quinn for the past few minutes and has managed to calm down significantly and straighten out his clothes.
"We ditch class, we go home, we go up to my bedroom and whatever happens, happens. It's not going to be planned perfection or something out of a movie but it's going to be you and me and I think you could just look at me right and I'd come. And that's what I want." Blaine staggers under the sheer weight of revelation and Kurt finally pushes off the wall. "Blaine, please," he whines and he doesn't know it but that's pretty close to the note he hit before, the one that Blaine blames for all of this.
Blaine just nods dumbly and leans forward, capturing Kurt's mouth in a kiss more sedate than before but just as deep with tongues caressing and moans escaping. As Kurt slips a hand deep into Blaine's pocket, successfully pulling the keys to his car free, Blaine can only blink and groan and wonder what the hell has just happened here today.
To Kurt's departing form, the one swinging the keys around a finger, Blaine just calls, "I'm starting to think you know damn well how sexy you are." And this, for Blaine's sanity, is a scary thought, indeed.
New Glee soon! Like less than two hours! Except I'm at uni, in Australia and have a three hour seminar for PhD crap and then a crap session and then I have to teach for three hours! Why am I even doing this to myself? I just wanna bail and go home! Anyway, reviews are like chocolate! You guys know that!