"...Wow, he really said that to you...?" Takato looks to me, he doesn't quite believe me. To be honest, at first I had a little trouble realizing what had happened last week.
I nod. "Yeah...He's...Hirokazu's in one of his moods and he decided to take it out on me," I roll my eyes. Hirokazu and I haven't spoken in a week, we had a fight over him copying my homework. Normally, I wouldn't mind but...
...Hirokazu, if you're going to copy my homework at least remember to put it back in my backpack before I LEAVE FOR SCHOOL! So, yeah, I...was a little angry at him.
Takato realized something was up when he called Hirokazu for a card tournament with the others the other day. Hirokazu's first question was "Is Kenta going to be there?" The following "Yes," according to Takato, was followed by a dial tone...
...So, today, Takato's letting me vent to him in the park. He told me he feels bad that Hirokazu and I are fighting, he also said he can't believe we're fighting...We're, well, US!
Takato and I are sitting under a tree. It's a nice, warm Summer afternoon...The sort of Summer afternoon Hirokazu and I usually enjoy together.
"You...don't look so upset," Takato says.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
Takato glances away. "Well...You and Hirokazu, um... ...How do I put this...?"
"...You know, don't you?" I smirk, Takato's blushing now. I knew the secret wouldn't last forever. I'm amazed it's lasted this long. And, after last week, well...It should be obvious.
Takato nods. "...Yeah. Juri figured it out and swore me to secrecy, but Jen says he suspected you for a while."
"How long...?" I gotta know how long the cat's been out of the bag...
"About two years," Takato says.
"...Takato, Hirokazu and I have only been together for six months..." ...Wow...We're... ...Well, okay, we're not exactly subtle, but... ...Hirokazu really does a good job playing 'manly man.' I'm, uh...
...I'm me. I'm obvious even without Hirokazu.
"...Oh, um...S-Sorry... J-Juri said it first! And then Jen and Ruki-Well, you know Ruki..." Takato looks embarrassed as hell right now. I actually think it's cute.
"Don't worry, we...talked about it after we got together, looking back, this has...been inevitable for a while." Really, there was no avoiding it. Hirokazu was the one who admitted to that! We're...Us! We're destined to be together, I guess. I can't picture myself without Hirokazu and I know he can't picture himself without me. We're 'Hirokazu and Kenta,' always.
"A long time. I think even as far back as when we met in kindergarten," I shrug. "I just really liked Hirokazu."
"Tha-tha...THAT long?" Takato shouts. "You've liked Hirokazu that long?" ...What? Juri says she first fell in love at that time...And I wasn't in love with Hirokazu back then! That took until fifth grade, namely when Ruki kicked him in the ass and he became my first kiss...
...That was a looong night of self-questioning for both of us. I mean, as "gross" as I thought that kiss was…Well, the fact it was from Hirokazu made it…"Less gross," let's say. I knew I liked Hirokazu a lot...That night, I just realized that I loved Hirokazu. ...He says that night he realized he 'really, really, really, really, really, really, reeeaaally liked' me. His words, not mine.
I came to the conclusion quickly that I was gay, that night even. Hirokazu, however, was (and still is) so deep in the closet he's the Queen of Narnia!
Yes, that's right, I said "Queen" of Narnia. Only because I know how much it'd piss him off if I said it out loud. Let me put it this way: Hirokazu has NEVER said to me or anyone the words 'I'm gay.' He's straight, I'm just 'special.'
...Yeah, we're having a "lovers' quarrel" and... ...I really hope the "kiss and make up" portion focuses a lot on the former.
"I just really looked up to him back then, I always wanted to be around him, it made me really happy when we were together and..." I shrug. "He tells me he 'liked having me around' to 'tell him how amazing he is.'"
"Coming from Hirokazu, I take it that's...A confession, right?" Takato jokes.
"No. Hirokazu's confession was 'I'm not gay, I just love you.'"
Takato stares at me blankly for almost a full minute. "...For real?" He finally asks.
I nod. "Look up 'closet case' in the dictionary, I sent Webster's a great photo of him."
Takato laughs, "H-How did it go...? S-Sorry, I'm just...curious." Takato's really blushing talking about this.
"Takato, relax...Why are you nervous?"
"Um, not because...I know for sure now, it's...Um..."
"Takato-chan, do you have a secret...?" I smirk, then my eyes go wide as Takato nods. "...Holy shit, I was joking."
"Er...S-So was I-"
"Jen, right?" If Takato likes anyone who shares a locker room with him, it's going to be Jen. I mean, those two…How they avoid Ruki's gay jokes is beyond me! But… …Takato? For real? You're one of us...?
"...Yeah," Takato nods.
"...I'll...see what I can find out," I glance away. ...Wow...I-I'm shocked. I mean, I never suspected Takato. Ever. Hirokazu did. All the time. But I always told him he was crazy...
...I guess I should send Webster's another photo for the definition of "gaydar."
"J-Just, um, p-please don't...tell anyone..." Takato, don't...be so embarrassed. Why would I ever object? I'm gay, too! Then again, Takato screams 'closet case.' Not for the same reasons as Hirokazu (he's too "manly" to be gay), but...Just super shy.
"I won't," I shake my head. "I-I was scared out of my mind when Hirokazu found out about me so I know how you feel."
"How did he find out?"
"He caught me buying some shounen-ai manga," I say, clearing my throat. "I-I was at Kinokuniya and, um, well...I look up, I see Hirokazu'd been staring at me for I don't even know how long. We sort of had this 'this is really happening' look going between us for a while before he finally asked 'Kenta, is that the latest Ai To Kirai you're reading?' And I proceeded to piss myself." Okay, not really, but I came close.
"I was scared, but then I realized exactly what he had just said. So, I asked him how he knew it was the latest volume and, well, the 'oh, shit' look on his face told me he was familiar with Ai To Kirai...So, we went to the park and talked. He told me he wasn't gay, just in love with me and then, well, we made out."
Again, Takato gives me that 'you can't be serious' look. "S-Seriously?" Would you expect anything less from Hirokazu, Takato?
"Yeah, um, Hirokazu's...into the whole make-out thing. A lot. I don't mind, trust me, but...Well..."
"After the homework incident, I, um...You ever see a sitcom, the wife is mad at the husband and swears off sleeping with him for a while?" I ask. Takato nods. "I told him my lips were off limits until he apologized for what happened, he got pissed, we screamed at each other at lunch and...Ugh..." I sigh. "I was pissed because that assignment was huge, I'm so lucky the teacher 'understood' why my assignment 'disappeared.' That's actually what really started things..." I'd be pissed off at Moritomo-sensei, but he's really nice and grades are sort of important to me right now.
And this has been going on just long enough...
"He crossed out Hirokazu's name on 'his' assignment, wrote in my name and graded it, then handed it back to Hirokazu at the end of class."
Takato holds back a laugh. "S-Sorry, I-I know I shouldn't laugh but I can just see the look on Hirokazu's face...!"
I laugh, too. "Y-Yeah, he turned this shade of white to where you needed sunglasses to look directly at him. He accused me of ratting him out at lunch, I told him I'd never do that. The teacher just knows us that well."
Takato nods. "Every teacher does, I'm amazed Hirokazu gets away with it so much. He also copies off Jen if you're sick." Yeah, Jen's complained to me about that…And if Jen and I are both sick, his back up is clutching his stomach and screaming, 'Oh, GODS! The pain! Can't…make it…to…school…! So…much…pain…!'
…You would be amazed how often that actually works for him.
"I know, Hirokazu complained to me that Jen got him a B- once after I got an A on the same assignment. Jen warned him social studies wasn't his thing." I shrug.
"So, after the homework incident, what happened?"
"That was pretty much it, except for a scene in the cafeteria that…Well, if the whole school didn't think we were a couple before..." I trail off.
"What do you mean...?"
"A little after I told him no kissing, Hirokazu might have shouted 'Like I give a damn about making out with you' at the top of his lungs at the table," I say. "That he blamed me for because… I dunno, he's stupid!" Hirokazu…has his moments. Unfortunately, these moments occur very often. And in succession.
"H-He actually shouted that?" Takato's eyes are wide. "In front of everyone?"
I nod. "You missed it?" I figured that was how he and the others knew!
"It must have been when Jen had soccer practice at lunch and he looks really-Er..." Takato's eyes go wide as another blush comes over his cheeks. Takato, you need to work on th-Actually, no, I really think it's cute...
...Not that my heart belongs to anyone else, Hiro-chan. I know you take second glances when someone walks by! But I know you're only gay for me (supposedly), so those other guys...I'm guessing you were just trying to read the label on the back of their pants all those times (for your sake). I also know how serious you are about us, and I love that about you. Hirokazu really does take 'my heart belongs to Kenta' very seriously...If a girl asks him out, he declines immediately. ...Hirokazu really loves me, and...I can't love him enough for that.
And, like I said, it's been long enough...Maybe another day. Tops. But I know you, Hiro-chan, it won't be much longer.
"Continue, Takato," I have to hear this!
"...He looks really cute in his...soccer uniform," Takato says, quietly. Ah, I love how in the closet you are, Matsuda...Really, it's...adorable. I think I might actually be the first person he's admitted this to, even... ...I feel kind of honored for that, Takato-chan.
I give him a hug with one arm, taking him by surprise. "Takato, just so you know, you're cute when you're embarrassed."
"Th-Thanks..." Takato blushes. "Um, a-again, please-"
"Takato, you're the straightest gay guy I know," I say with a laugh, letting him go. "Gay, right? Or bi?"
"The first one," Takato whispers, nodding.
"What is it about Jen you like?"
"He's Jen, I-I've never had a friend like him," Takato shrugs. "He's smart and caring, he's always thinking of others and...He's cute, too...I-I've never thought of...anyone else... as 'cute' before... ...I-I really like him, Kenta-kun."
"I'll definitely give you cute...And like I said, so are you."
Takato's blush deepens and I love it. "Th-Thanks." I can't help it, I love blushing shy guys...And with Takato that is so easy...
...Hirokazu? Not so easy, but...Worth the effort.
"Can I ask if Hirokazu and I are 'cute,' too?"
Takato swallows. "W-Well, um...Y-You two are...um...I-I..." I actually don't care, I just wanted to make Takato blush again. It worked!
I laugh, "Y-You don't...You don't have to answer."
"What about Hirokazu? What do you like about him?"
"His confidence, how funny he is and...I just like having him with me," I say. "We understand each other, even when Hirokazu is at his most selfish or ass-y…Hirokazuness...I don't know, but whenever he's as 'Hirokazu' as he can be, I know he still cares about me. A lot more than he ever lets on." Even now.
"I'm amazed by how, um, not upset you are," Takato says. "I-I mean, if...Jen and I were, y'know, and this happened...I-I'd be so upset. I don't even want to think about it."
I shrug. "I'm not worried."
"You'll see..." I trail off with a smirk. "How do you see yourself with Jen? Like, who would be the seme?"
Takato's face turns bright red. "K-Kenta-kun...!" Eh...I-I didn't mean that kind of 'seme!'
"I meant in terms of the relationship, not that!" I laugh, maybe I shouldn't have said 'seme,' but it's all I could think of. "I meant who would be the 'dominant' one?"
"...I-I don't know," Takato shrugs. "I think it'd be mostly Jen, he's the more decisive one. And he's not as emotional as I am."
I nod. Makes sense, but I think Takato sort of knows he's got UKE branded on his forehead.
There's a short silence.
"...Aren't you going to ask me that question...?" I ask.
"Um, well, I-I just assumed it was Hirokazu," Takato says. "S-Sorry, Kenta, but...He's Hirokazu, you know?"
"Exactly, he's Hirokazu," I nod, smiling. Hehehe...He's Hirokazu.
"What do you mean?"
"You'll see..." I laugh. "So, how did you react when you first realized you had a thing for Jen?"
"Denied it until about last Summer. You?"
"Kept it a secret, but continued to tell Hirokazu how awesome he is," I say. "I even did it more, because I love him and I know how much he loves getting his hourly ego boost." Hirokazu really can't get enough of that, but recently...
A couple months ago, Takato, Hirokazu and I were playing a card game and Hirokazu was trying a new strategy against Takato. And, naturally, he mopped the floor with Takato for five straight games. Takato kept telling him how awesome his new strategy was, a lot. Especially since Takato's usually not that easy to beat at cards...
...Hirokazu didn't really care about how great Takato thought it was. No matter what Takato said. He just wanted to keep playing. I figured Hirokazu just didn't think the strategy was all that good or something and didn't want to hear it. So I didn't say anything until Hirokazu and I went home together. That was when he asked me, "So, what did you think of my new card strategy?" He looked almost disappointed that he had to ask, and a little upset that I hadn't said anything.
I told him I thought it was awesome, since after those first five games with Takato, we ran into Jen and Ryou and Hirokazu almost beat Ryou with it. "Ryou won with luck, Hiro-chan." I told him. ...Hirokazu loved hearing that. I noticed he has a special sort of 'Kenta says I'm amazing' smile.
I did a test, I waited a few days for Hirokazu to forget what Takato had said. The next time he played with that strategy, I repeated some of Takato's praise. Word for word...Then Hirokazu was interested in those compliments.
...I came to some conclusions from that. Some very important conclusions about Hiro-chan.
"Yeah, that's why...Well, Kenta, you're always with Hirokazu and, all the time, you're doing things for him, complimenting him and that's why I thought..."
I nod. "I didn't say you were wrong..." ...Or right.
"Don't apologize, Takato, I mean, we are Hirokazu and Kenta. Not Kenta and Hirokazu, you know?" That's how we're always referred to: Hirokazu and Kenta. Never Kenta and Hirokazu, not that I mind that Hiro-chan gets top billing.
"So, after the fight, what happened?"
"We didn't walk home together and haven't spoken since," I say.
"And why aren't you upset...?"
"'Cause of that," I point forward. Finally!
Takato looks, Hirokazu is walking up the sidewalk and he looks very "Un-Hirokazu-like," he looks really, really sad. Like he might have even been crying earlier...Sorry, Hiro-chan. I don't like it when you cry, 'cause you never cry (or, at least, you just get "something in your eye" a lot, but you never cry!).
Hirokazu steps up to us, he looks down at me for almost half a minute before exhaling sharply. "...Kenta, I'm sorry. I-I was...being an asshole before. I know you wouldn't rat me out for cheating and...I'm just sorry for everything."
I get up, smiling, "Apology accepted, Hiro-chan." I kiss him on the cheek.
"K-Kenta...!" Oh, right, Takato's here...
"Don't worry, he knows..." I say.
"Oh, yeah, um...I forgot about...S-Sorry I said that was your fault."
"I know, it's okay," I give him a hug and another kiss. Hirokazu...I can feel how much better he feels from that.
"And, Takato?" Hirokazu looks to Takato with a serious expression. "Kenta's just special, I'm not..." He trails off, but a blush still comes through...And he's cuter than Takato when he does that. It's just really hard to make Hiro-chan blush, as hard as I try sometimes. Thanks for being here, Takato! Hehehe...!
"I-I know," Takato nods. "I'm glad you two are back together." He gets up. "I'll let you two 'kiss and make up.'" He says with a slightly embarrassed laugh. He waves and walks off.
Hirokazu sits under the tree, I sit next to him and hug him. We're in a secluded part of the park, as I requested when Takato said he wanted to talk. In fact, this is where Hiro-chan and I talked after the manga incident...
...I knew Hiro-chan would come back here. He always does. 'Cause he's mine! Ha ha ha, well, no, I just know him that well...
...I like to think physically and outwardly, Hirokazu is dominant. He's tough, he never backs down and he's Hirokazu. What more needs to be said besides that last part? He's. Hi. Ro. Ka. Zu.
"I guess I also kinda needed to see you, Kenta-chan," Hirokazu says with a smile. "I-I'm sorry I was being like that, I just..."
"Don't be sorry," I say as Hirokazu hugs me tighter. "What made you feel better?"
"I talked to Jen, he wanted to know what was going on. Um, he knows about us and..." Hirokazu chuckles. "Can you keep a secret?"
"...He likes Takato." Hirokazu says. "He let it slip accidentally when, um, he said he suspected us...For two damn years, by the way!" Hiro-chan does not like to be 'mistaken' for gay. Like I said, Hirokazu is straight as an arrow...I'm just special.
I laugh, pulling out my cell phone.
"What are you doing...?" Hirokazu asks.
"Telling Takato to go confess to Jen," I reply, typing up a quick text: Confess to Jen. Trust me. Love, Kenta
"Yeah, he missed out on our scene in the cafeteria 'cause he was ogling Jen in his soccer uniform," I say with a laugh. "This will make his millennium." Congratulations, Takato-chan...I hope you and Jen love each other as much as Hirokazu and I do.
"Jen missed it, too, 'cause of, well, that. He says he tries more trick shots and stuff when he knows Takato's watching," Hirokazu says. "I, um, realized I kinda do the same..."
"Yeah, with sports or games or whatever we're doing, like card battles..." Hirokazu shrugs. "I guess I like to impress you." That explains why he challenges Ryou and Ruki so much when we're playing cards with the others, those two are the best...
...Next to Hiro-chan. In my eyes, at least. Even though he loses...He does his absolute best. And, apparently, he does that for me. I'm honored, Hiro-chan...I really, really am.
"Thanks, Hiro-chan, but you don't even have to try, you're just amazing." I know how much he loved hearing that, I don't even have to look at the smile on his face.
"I never said I tried hard to impress you." Translation: 'I worked my ass off to impress you, Kenta-chan, but I'll never admit to it. Because I'm The Great Hirokazu.'
"I never said you did." I lean into Hiro-chan, smiling...I missed this a lot. A week is a long time.
Hiro-chan, I love you for so many reasons...But also because I know you so well. And I know you just needed some time before you apologized. I knew you'd come here, because it's where you and I had our first real kiss and I know how much you loved that moment...
...And I know how much you love me, too. And, as well as I know you, I love you even more.
This is an experiment (inspired by a comment by Riku Murasaki - Thanks for the idea, Riku-san!) with Kenta and Hirokazu (Note the order of names), in which I tried to make Kenta the dominant one...
...Of course, Kenta somehow being "tougher" than Hirokazu is...Almost as hard to picture as Kenta being straight (which is IMPOSSIBLE to picture! Kenta's gay, this is a fact.), so I went with the "he'll come back, he always does approach." In fact the title of this fic means something along the lines of "to cling to\to beg in tears." Hirokazu knows he needs Kenta emotionally...
...And Kenta knows that, too.
So, I hope the idea worked. I dunno, if it didn't...Sorry, it's an experiment in a somewhat dominant Kenta...while he's being paired with Hirokazu.And while talking to Takato, kinda, but...He's Takato. I just hope Kenta didn't come off as manipulative or anything like that.
For those who don't know: The terms "seme" and "uke" more or less mean "dominant" and "submissive" or...More vulgarly, "top" and "bottom." It's a yaoi term, mostly...I think.
Oh, and regarding Juri's "first love" in kindergarten that Kenta mentions: This is actually mentioned in Tamers. I don't know what the dub says, but it comes up in the original during the episode she first meets Leomon. When Takato is calling around for advice, this is what Jen suggests: "Ask her when she first fell in love."
"JUUURI! Have you ever fallen in love before?"
"Kindergarten! Come back, Leomon-sama!"
"GET AWAY FROM ME!"
"She says Kindergarten, Jen."
"That means she's probably not in love with him, then..."
...No, really. That's what Jen actually suggests is the reason why Juri is chasing Leomon around. Because Juri might have been in love with Leomon!
...Jen, please tell me that theory isn't related to any secret hobbies you have. PLEASE!
J-Juri and LEOMON? That was why Jen thought she was chasing Leomon about like that? AUGH! I did not need to know that about Jen! That's almost as bad as Ori's gay sepukku descriptions (which, believe me, is not something you want to know the details of)!
I have to say that I see what Ori is doing here and I agree that Kenta is emotionally dominant between the two. I simply do not see Hirokazu as the type to ever talk about his feelings, so Kenta would have to know Hirokazu very well to predict when he would "come crawling back." And we all know how much Hirokazu loves his ego boosts.