Biscuits & Cookies

A HariPo oneshot

by mew-tsubaki

Note: The Harry Potter characters belong to J.K. Rowling, not me. This pairing was discovered by my buddy, Morghen, so please give her a little mention if you write them! Thanks! It is one of many of Mew and Mor's Weird Pairings, which you may find in Mor's and my forum, "Mew and Mor's Weird Pairings Fan Stories," found here (Just take out the spaces!): http : / forum. fanfiction. net/ forum /Mew_and_Mors_Weird_Pairings_Fan_Stories /76194 / Read, review, and enjoy! And check out and join the forum FUN!

For Beth, because we made a bet months ago, she won, and I was incredibly busy/lazy and took this long to write this for her. I hope I'm forgiven, Bethie. ;]

- ^-^3

Bellatrix Lestrange—well, she hadn't told Rodolphus, but she preferred going by "Black" again these days—felt her fingers itch as she sat around, listening to her fellow Death Eaters bitch and whine about the members of the Order of the Phoenix still standing up to their Dark Lord.

"While you twats are moaning, I'm going out," she announced, though few heads turned her way. That further irked her, and Bellatrix was wondering if the crawl throughout her skin was one of bloodlust and not just hunger.

She left the safe house in Bulgaria—a place full of Dolohov's ancestors—and eyed the nearby streets. The witch walked up a busy shopping road, her wand at the ready in her right palm. Her eyes skittered over the windows, some of the wares on display registering with her: cloaks, pots and pans, tools, food. Towards the end of the lane, a little bakery caught her attention, and she marched right into the quiet place.

The baker saw her. "Hello, miss. May I help you?" he spoke in Bulgarian.

Bellatrix snorted out of disinterest and lifted her wand, her hand casting the Killing Curse as she perused the cases of sweets. The baker's body fell to the ground with a thud and Bella gasped. She'd just spotted the cookies and suddenly her mouth began watering. Sure, the case said "cookies" in Bulgarian, but she knew they were biscuits. She grabbed a plastic bag from the counter and stuck the dark treats in it. Then she exited and strolled happily down the street. She didn't even hear a woman's scream peal through the air before she Disapparated away.

"Well." Bellatrix whistled. She knew this part of Bulgaria very well by now, and she finally stopped to consider whether standing here at the border between Romania and Bulgaria was a good idea. She scrunched up her nose in consternation before finally doing the bold, reckless, and utterly Bellatrix thing of her to do and walked right into Romania. From there, it was only a spot of magic away from Apparating to one particular place in Romania…

…the Dragon Plains.

Bellatrix hated dragons, actually, and she further disliked being compared to one. Regardless, she spirited herself through the shadows, looking for the only thing that could draw her into this disgusting territory. She thought it funny that the sight of red hair actually excited her. Any other time, it was cause for her to vomit or relent to her bloodlust. But not today.

She waited for him to saunter near his tent—he was always forgetting something for work, and today was just like any other day. Once he was near the open flap, Bellatrix snaked her hand out and tightly and quickly gripped his arm, dragging him into the shadows with her.

She smirked at the look of surprise on Charlie Weasley's face. That look of surprise was always fun to analyze, because it was forever a mixture of surprise, fear, anger, and lust.

"Bella! What are you doing here?" he spat through gritted teeth. He pushed her farther into the shadows and glanced over his shoulder to ensure no one had seen her.

"I was hungry," the witch replied as Charlie turned back to her. She caught his mouth with hers, stealing what little breath he had left. She nibbled at his bottom lip until he parted his lips enough for her to slip her tongue in and good Merlin, he tasted as delicious and forbidden and clichéd as ever. She loved that.

Charlie fought a snicker. "Godric," he muttered as he took in a gulp of air. "Hungry-hungry or just hungry for me?" He smiled, and his dark eyes crinkled with some kind of sweet yet naughty delight.

"Perhaps both," Bellatrix retorted. She let her fingers dance their way down his chest and hook into the edge of his pants. She drew one finger under his belt and slid it back and forth, laughing softly as she felt him slacken against her. She took him up on another kiss as he gathered a handful of her hair and held it tight.

"You sure do know how to take the edge off work-related stress," the wizard whispered, grazing her pale white jaw and neck with his mouth and hot breath.

"Yes, well, I was thinking maybe—" She held up the bag of biscuits. "Biscuit?"

Charlie stared at her before loosing a great laugh. "The queen of evil makes out with and gropes a man of the light and she's offering to share a bag of her favorite treat with him?"

"While I like the 'queen of evil' title and think it well suits me, I do take offense to harping on about us being on different sides." She grabbed him where it hurt most and focused her big black eyes on him. "I don't like being reminded that I've something I'm not supposed to have. Besides, you're not really good…just neutral, playing whichever way the wind blows." She paused. "And I don't share. I just happened to get some extra."

Charlie nodded and sat down to lean against a large boulder. He pulled her down into his lap and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm sorry, sorry… I still assert I'm good, though."

Bellatrix bit into a chocolate, chocolate chip cookie and munched for a bit before commenting. "Why do you stupid people make distinctions between 'good' and 'evil'? I'm on the winning side. You're on the losing."

"We haven't lost yet."

"No, you haven't. But you will." Bellatrix leaned back into him and tilted her head back, slightly upside-down so Charlie could kiss her. Now he tasted of chocolate, too.

"And what will happen then, hmm? Will you take me as your consort? Your spoils of war?"


Charlie wrapped his arms tighter around her stomach. "I just…I just wish you were—"

"The marrying and home-style type," she finished with a grimace.

"I won't say 'sorry' for that. You know what I'm like."

"And you know what I'm like," Bellatrix stated, facing him. She cupped his cheek with her palm, a rare sign of affection. "I'm not the mummy type, Charlie."

Charlie kissed her. "I know." He breathed and rested his forehead against hers. "I don't suppose you could at least tell me something I don't know? Like what you guys are currently planning?"

The black-haired witch grinned wickedly. "Of course not." Though she knew herself there was one big thing she wanted to tell Charlie yet couldn't compel herself to say—at least, not here, not now.

The Weasley son took another cookie and bit into it, beckoning her back. She bit into it and chewed, but then she placed her mouth on his again. Oh, he tasted so, so deliciously sweet… She really had it bad for sweet things.

"I should go," she said before the bag was even empty. Charlie removed his arms and she stared at the bag, not thinking of his touch on her midsection again. No, she'd tell him some other time…

"By the way, I don't really want to know how you came across those, do I?"

Bellatrix laughed and drew him down for one final kiss. "I'd tell you but then I'd have to Obliviate you."

"Ooh, an upgrade from being Avada Kedavra'd."

Bellatrix glared at him for that one, but she backed away and left, sticking to the shadows as needed before she cleared the plains and returned to her original spot near the border. She left Romania and returned to Bulgaria, but she trudged on the way back to her comrades. She passed a couple of kids playing on the road and tossed the bag of food at them, not feeling very hungry anymore. Her hungry came and went these days, anyway.

When the Dolohovs' property came into sight, Bellatrix grumbled and hugged her stomach.

"So, dear," she whispered, "will I call you my cookie or my biscuit when you're born…?"

- ^-^3

:3 Okay. While the "humor" category may be a little off, I still had a lot of fun writing as Bellatrix, in a way. She's so damn crazy! And yes, Beth, that was a hint of your OC at the end…! ;3 Good thing I have something else planned, huh?

Thanks for reading and please review!

-mew-tsubaki :)