Disclaimer: Degrassi? Nope.
OhMyMunro...Yeah. Look her up. Read her stories and read that amazing writing. Her new story? Canned Peaches? It made my heart melt! Go read it! Seriously. Leave this piece of crap story and read it.
The road was flying past him and he was going passed the speedlimit by a land slide. The radio was blasting and it was angry in his ears. He greeted the noise as if they were friends and turned the music up louder. The music pulsed in him and he took another turn, leading him to nowhere.
He just wanted to be lost.
He wanted sleep to take him, leaving him into a dark realty, showing him no mercy. He wanted the darkness that had been so cold to him to show him everything that it was capable of. He wanted to feel the death creeping into his system and wanted to feel it rot in his body. He wanted to feel the pain that he inflicted on everyone to come upon him.
I mean, Elijah Goldsworthy deserved it, right?
He deserved the looks. The looks that told him that he was crazy. He deserved the feeling of dread drifting upon his shoulders, making him ache and ache. Isn't that what people like him deserved? Pain?
And that's what he got. He got the pain.
He knew that Clare Edwards loved him. How could he ignore the adoring looks from her? In fact, he even gave her those looks back with equal ferver.
But he also knew that he had screwed up, which eliminated all feelings that she felt for him.
He always lived in shame and sin, barely coming up to breathe anything else. But he had found something that forced the good and pure in him. And that was Clare Edwards. She was his ibuprofen, always taking his pain away. She was a drug and he had become addicted. He'd snatched onto her at all times, not wanting to let her go. Losing her had become his fear.
But that fear became his realty.
He wasn't sure how he had gotten to her house. Was it that natural to him? To go to her when the walls that he had built were breaking down? The thought of that killed him. He went to her when she didn't want him.
He ran up the stone steps that lead to her house and knocked loudly on the door. The beat of his heart was the same beat he was using to beat on the door. Rapid. Sweat found its way onto his face and neck, leaving him to feel light headed. Was this a bad idea? Was this-
The curly-haired girl, the one who had stolen every living thing inside of him, opened up the door. Clare opened it half-way and looked at Eli with pity. She felt bad for him. Anyone would feel bad for him if they saw the state that he was in. His clothes didn't even fit him and they flowed off of him with even the smallest hint of wind. His body was shaking even though the temperature was the highest its been all year. His teeth were clenched together and his body looked dead. Clare briefly wondered if he was even alive.
He looked lost.
Though, then again, that was what he wanted.
"Are you alright?" Clare wondered out loud, though she knew the answer. Her feet moved side-to-side nervously.
Eli shook his head bitterly and barked a laugh. "No, I'm not fucking okay, Clare."
"What's wrong?" Clare whispered, her stomach freezing.
"Don't you love me, Clare? I really thought you did..." He trailed off and stared down at his feet. He breathed out in anger and Clare jumped in surprise.
"Of course I do, Eli! I just wanted a break! That doesn't mean I love you any less!" Clare's voice was desperate and Eli laughed humorlessly once again. He ran his fingers through his hair angrily and glared at Clare with a deathly hate.
"That's bullshit, Clare. That's fucking bullshit and you know it." He growled and Clare stepped back. "I fucking love you. I'd do anything for you and this is what you do? You break-up with me?"
"N-n-no, Eli! I love you!" Clare wailed and Eli shook his head. "No! I do! I love-"
"Then prove it." Eli spat out, his words contained venom that could kill anything. He was still trembling and he looked like he was trying to talk, but no words came out.
Without thinking, Clare slipped the ring off of her finger and gently held it next to Eli's quivering hand. His head came up slowly, looking at Clare's face, trying to see if it was a joke. There was no sign of humor in her eyes and he took that as his pass to go.
This is what he wanted.
Eli pushed her roughly into the house. He slammed the door and pushed her into it; her back colliding with the wood with a 'bang'. With hunger, he traced her jaw with his tongue. Clare stayed motion-less and breathed shakily, trying not to think of what she agreed to. His hands traveled around her body with ferver. Suddenly, Eli picked her up and brought her upstairs. Once he reached her room, he dropped Clare off on her bed carefully.
Eli climbed on top of her and started started tearing off her clothes. He paid no attention to her tense body language and pulled everything off of her. His fingers worked quickly on her clothes and he didn't notice that her eyes were clenched shut. He didn't notice that her breathing wasn't coming out right and that her fingers clenched every now and then. Eli just wanted to show her how much he loved her.
Clare caught sight of her purity ring on his finger and her stomach clenched. A part of her wished that she was still wearing it. But if this is what it took to show Eli that she loved him, then so be it.
Eli was soon stripped off his clothes and hovered over her, creating a dark shadow to fall onto her. He settled on his forearms and let his head fall into the crook of her neck. His breath saturated her shoulder and he felt her rapid heartbeat against his chest. He considered stopping but then brushed that thought away. And without warning, he plunged in, and Clare let out a shriek.
It hurt. Clare felt her eyes fill up with water, but Eli kept moving. He pushed deeper into her and she bit her lip to keep the groans of pain from flying out. Eli glanced up at Clare and noticed her scrunched up face. Her beautiful features were dipped in pain. Because of him. His stomach clenched at her pain and the conflict in his mind was raging.
He was a hurricane and she was a sunny day. He darkened everything in her life and only held her tighter. Eli shook up her world in a matter of seconds. He knew that he wasn't good enough for her. He knew that she needed another sunny day instead of a hurricane. Eli knew that she needed stability, but instead he gave her nothing to stand on.
And with the the thought of being the source of her pain, he kept going.
He couldn't stop. He loved her too much.
Suddenly, a pained cry came from Clare and his eyes flew open. Tears still came down her cheeks and he knew that it was because of him. Oh, god, he was more messed up than he thought.
Tears slipped down his cheeks and landed on her own. Eli's head bowed, leaving Clare to wipe his tears off her cheek.
"I'm nothing, Clare." Eli choked out, and then rolled off of her. He crawled onto the far end of the bed and curled up.
Clare heard faint snores coming from him and she felt exhaustion creep into her body.
She knew that she would regret this tommorrow.
And with that thought, she turned over on her side. The spot between her legs was aching, as well as her heart.
They're living in Sin City.
Dark? Yeah, I know...it wasn't supposed to be like this.
Now, I know that this is just a show, but it really pisses me off when people say that Eli is crazy. No. He's not. I've met many people like him and they aren't crazy, they just have things to deal with.
This is the worse that I've written and I'm sorry for that.