Author's Note: I hate doing these things, which is why I probably won't have very many of these notes in this story, but I guess that sometimes they're a necessary evil. I feel like they take the reader out of the story, but I digress. This story, at least early on, will have it's fair share of cussing, so if that puts you off, so be it. The stories rated M for later chapters, which may contain some "mature" situations, as well as more language. I've also written the second chapter already, but I'd like to see how people respond to the first chapter to decide whether or not I should post the second. Enjoy the first chapter and please leave a review if you like it, even more so if you hate it; criticism is very much welcome.
A twelve year old girl lay on her bed, the sunlight of the midday streaming in through an open window and illuminating the magazine she was reading. She kicked her legs back and forth as her eyes skirted down the lines of an article and then to the accompanying picture. She played with a strand of hair that was hanging by her cheek and then turned her head slightly to look at it. She kneaded the hair between her finger and thumb and thought about how badly she needed to brush it. I guess I'll have to ask mom for a new brush... Sarah thought to herself as she recalled the earlier incident that occurred between her and Ed. A small part of Sarah knew that she had gone too far this time, but the rest of her argued that what she did was justified; she, of course, agreed with that sentiment and decided to ignore the smaller, meek voice that mumbled something about being too hotheaded. She never admitted it to anyone else, mostly because everyone else already knew, but she knew she could fly off the handle at times. She knew that she could be cruel to others. She knew that she could be the biggest bitch around. She also knew that she liked being the biggest bitch around very much. She reveled in it. It was like a drug that she took to feed her addiction. It was a rush that she just couldn't shake.
Sarah hopped out of her bed and stretched. She let out a yawn, her big mouth stretching like a huge chasm ripping through the ground from an earthquake. She wandered lazily over to her dresser, where a big, oval mirror reflected her image. She looked herself over in the mirror as she continued to play with the strand of hair earlier, which refused to let her take her attention off of it. She wore the same clothes she used to wear four years ago, although in a bigger size due to her growth in height. She had also acquired some bust, although, compared to the other females she knew, it was like the Appalachians versus Mount Everest. She had cut her hair a little shorter recently, although now it was a total mess due to her lack of a brush. She had to have a new brush.
Sarah's attention was snatched away from her reflection and to her door when she heard a shuffling sound from the hallway. She removed herself from her post in front of her dresser and began to creep over to her door. She put her ear up to the hard, white wood of her door and listened intently. She heard someone shuffling down the hallway very slowly. She sighed. "Here we go..." she mumbled to herself before opening the door, letting the stale air of her room filter out into the hallway. She took a step out of her room and peered down the hallway. She saw a tall figure shuffling down the hallway. Sarah rubbed her chin as she thought about what she should do. She smiled. "Oh, Ed..." Sarah called out in her usual fake yet polite tone. The large figure stopped and his head slowly turned around. He peaked over his shoulder at her.
"Yes, baby sister?" asked the tall boy who looked intently at his younger sibling. He had a slight smile on his face.
"I just wanted to say something about earlier," Sarah started as she continued to wear the biggest and brightest smile she could muster. Ed waited patiently for Sarah to continue, now deciding to complete turn his person toward her. Sarah knew what Ed was hoping to hear, and that small part of her so badly wanted her to say it. That small part of her, as usual, was shut out as the bigger, more vocal, and far more cruel part of Sarah spoke up. "You know when I took my favorite and only brush and shoved it down your throat?" Sarah asked politely. Ed shook his head in acknowledgement. "Well... that was my only brush you big ape, and you're going to buy me another one!" Sarah yelled at the top of her lungs. The wind generated from her voice nearly knocked Ed off of his feet, which was no easy task. Ed's face returned to it's usual mopey expression.
"Yes, baby sister," Ed repeated pathetically, this time in surrender to Sarah's demands. He turned back around and shuffled slowly down the hallway and into the living area. Sarah stood there with her arms crossed, a large grin on her face as she waited to hear a certain sound. She heard the door open and then closed. She sighed in satisfaction, pleased with the result of her yelling. She had gotten what she wanted, once again, and it made her happy, once again. She no longer had to ask her mom for a new brush; Ed was going to use his own money to buy her a new one. She returned to her room, shutting the door behind her before flopping down on her bed and resuming where she left off in the magazine. Her hand returned to it's post at that damned strand of hair that kept dangling in front of her face. Her day had started off great, and she was looking forward to that new brush that Ed was going to buy, as she knew it was probably going to be of a higher quality than the one that she had wasted when she shoved it down Ed's gullet. Ed, after all, wanted to make sure that his sister was happy and content. That way, he would be left alone by his sibling tormentor. Sarah's smile faltered a bit. She thought about why she had gotten in the argument with Ed in the first place...
Sarah sat at the kitchen table, enjoying a big bowl of chunky puffs that was filled to the brim of the bowl, almost spilling over the sides as she gorged herself on her milky and crunchy treat. Ed sat across from her, eying the bowl of chunky puffs that sat in front of him. He poked at some of the puff balls with his spoon, but hadn't taken a bit of his breakfast. Sarah stopped eating her cereal and looked up at him. He had the same depressed and dejected expression that had been plastered on his face for the past three months. Sarah gritted her teeth. She was tired of him moping around the house acting like a big cry baby. Sarah had asked him dozens of times why he was so sad and depressed, hoping that she had been the cause of his distress. Ed refused tell her, however; it didn't surprise her. No one knew why Ed was so damn depressed all the time because he denied anyone knowledge of the reasons behind his melancholy behavior.
Sarah heard from Jimmy that even Edd and Eddy, his two best friends, had been told off by Ed for daring to ask him about his condition. She had had enough of his behavior and his refusal to tell anyone why he was depressed. Her face had acquired a faint tinge of red as she examined the situation in her head. While she treated Ed horrendously, his behavior concerned her; after all, it was a lot more fun for Ed to be jovial so she could take away his happiness than for Ed to be in despair, since it refused her the pleasure of taking away anything from Ed; and she loved to take anything she could from her big, stupid brother. She slammed her fist on the kitchen table, causing the milk and chunky puffs in her bowl to fly over the edges of their ceramic prison and on to the table. Ed glanced up at her, a mixed expression of surprise and gloom on his face. "That's it, Ed, tell me why the hell you're so sad or I'll go downstairs and break another one of your stupid model rockets!"
Ed stared at her for a few moments, apparently gathering his thoughts in how to respond to Sarah's demand, as well as her threat. Ed sighed and stared at the black and white tiles of the kitchen floor. "Go ahead, Sarah. I have a million more model rockets anyway..." Ed answered somberly before going back to poking at his cereal. His eyes stayed locked on the floor. Sarah's face became blood red. She felt like steam was going to shoot out of her ears. She had been denied, once again, the knowledge of why Ed was depressed. She suddenly calmed down.
"Fine. I'll be right back," Sarah told Ed before scooting her chair backwards and leaving the kitchen. She ran into her room, looking for something she could use to hurt Ed. She saw her lamp. "Naw, mom will be pissed if I break that over his head...again," Sarah mumbled to herself as she scanned her room for something else to use. She spotted her brush. She grabbed it off of her dressed and proceeded back to the kitchen. "I needed a new one anyway," she explained quietly to herself before walking into the kitchen. Ed was eating his cereal, spooning his breakfast slowly into his mouth, as if it was revolting to him. "Ed, if that cereal doesn't taste good, I have something else you can eat," Sarah said sweetly. Ed turned around, laying his spoon in his cereal bowl.
"Really?" Ed asked as he looked at her hands. He saw the brush. "No thank you, Sarah, I already had my fiber today," Ed explained. Sarah rolled her eyes.
"Well... I think you need some more!" she shouted before grabbing Ed by his head and stuffing the brush as deep as she could down Ed's massive esophagus. She withdrew her hand from his throat quickly, and Ed fell out of the chair as he choked on the brush. Sarah stared in disgust at the huge globs of saliva that hung from her arm. She ran over to the counter and grabbed a towel, quickly wiping the saliva away and throwing the towel on the kitchen counter. She turned back to Ed as he swallowed the brush, which now found a new home among the plethora of other things that Ed had swallowed in the last few weeks. "Serves you right, you dunderhead. I just want to know what's wrong so I can help you, but as usual, you have to act all stupid and make me mad," Sarah lamented before storming off to her room.
Sarah had stopped playing with the strand of hair that had previously been dangling in front of her eyes. She had stopped reading her magazine as well. She was staring at the yellow and pink flowered wallpaper of her room, still examining the entire situation in her head. She suddenly shrugged. "Whatever it is, he'll get over it," she said to herself, not wanting to think about it any further. She pushed herself up and sat on the edge of her bed. She tossed the magazine over at the end of her bed, where a large, messy pile of them had been formed. She stood up and left her room to go find the phone. She decided that she needed something to take her mind off of her stupid brother. She decided the best way to do that was to call her stupid friend.
Eddy leaned up against a fence in the lane, playing with a pair of quarters as he coveted them with his eyes. He rubbed them together using his thumb and index finger, enjoying the sound of the metal as the coins scraped against each other. He sighed in content before shoving the coins into his pocket. He smirked as he thought about how, only an hour earlier, he had managed to scam Kevin out of fifty cents by giving him a "condom", which Kevin claimed he needed very badly. Eddy, not having any on him at the time, found a pack of balloons in the closet in his parents room and had taken the most transparent balloon he could find, returned to Kevin, and successfully passed it off as a condom, which netted him fifty cents.
"What a sucker..." Eddy judged as he thought to himself about how he could get some more money. He, Ed, and Edd had lost their absolute lust for jawbreakers, which had slowly weaned off as the boys grew older. They instead kept whatever money they managed to bilge out of the other kids and saved or used if for other purposes. Scams, which, despite the loss of their tastes for jawbreakers, were still an everyday part of the Eds' lives, although they were more geared toward teenagers due to the fact that most everyone, save for Sarah and Jimmy, were now very close to being adults. Lee, the oldest person Eddy knew, was seventeen; Ed, Edd, himself, Rolf, Nazz, Kevin, and Marie were all sixteen. May and Jonny were fifteen and Jimmy and Sarah were twelve. Eddy had barely grown since he was twelve, having only gained about an inch in height; this ticked him off beyond belief, as all of his friends, unlike him, had grown taller, putting him at even more of a height disadvantage than before . His thoughts were suddenly interrupted when he noticed the presence of another person.
"Good afternoon, Eddy," Edd greeted as he strolled over to Eddy.
"About damn time, Sockhead," Eddy responded sourly.
"Excuse me?" Edd asked incredulously.
"Don't play dumb, Double D. I called you almost four hours ago and told you to meet me at the lane! What, did you see some new telescope or something and just couldn't help yourself?" Eddy mocked.
"Very funny, Eddy. As you should know by now, I have many tasks that are assigned to me everyday, and I was simply completing them," Edd explained.
"Oh, so now a bunch of stupid chores are more important than making money?" Eddy inquired as he rubbed his index finger and thumb together.
"Yes," Edd remarked before grinning sheepishly. Eddy groaned loudly.
"Yeah, whatever... hey, where's Ed?" Eddy asked, noticing the third member of their group was missing. A look of concern suddenly washed over Edd's face.
"Oh dear, I thought he was with you," Edd remarked.
"What? When I called Ed this morning, he told me he was going to go over your house and leave with you..." Eddy related as his voice trailed off. Something was up.
"This isn't good... Eddy, I'm sure his absence has something to do with the sour mood he's had as of late," Edd reasoned.
"Yeah, Ed's been acting weird, I guess. It looks like he's always sad about something," Eddy responded.
"I just wish Ed would tell us what was troubling him; it's not even the fact that he's depressed that concerns me most. It's the fact that he won't tell us what's wrong," Edd began. "Usually Ed is relatively straight forward when it comes to any emotions he's experiencing, but this time is far different. He refused to explain what was depressing every time I decided to question him about it. It's just not like him to be so secretive about matters such as this. I can understand his being silent on the situation with Sarah or Kevin, but we're his best friends, for pete's sake. He should know by now that he can trust us," Edd finished. Eddy had an uninterested look on his face, much to Edd's disbelief. "Eddy, I can't believe you! Aren't you concerned about Ed's dire condition?"
"Look, I'm as concerned as the next guy about Ed, but you gotta learn that sometimes you just gotta tough out shit on your own," Eddy argued. "You can't go around babying the guy; you gotta let him have some space." When Eddy finished, Edd smiled.
"You're right, Eddy, and I don't say that very often. Perhaps it's best if I try to let Ed deal with this on his own. Still, I'll keep a look out on his condition; if he doesn't improve, then I'll have to do something about it," Edd explained.
"That's all great and stuff, sockhead, but how about we try getting to the part where we stop standing around having heart felt chats and start making some cash!" Eddy teased before motioning for Edd to follow him. Edd rolled his eyes before following Eddy down the lane.
"Very well then, Eddy. I suppose a nice scam would help keep my mind off of things. What scheme have you plotted for us to undertake today, Eddy?" Edd asked as he and Eddy walked down the lane side by side.
"I'm glad you asked, canyon gap. This scam has to be the most greatest, most insane, most smartest plan I've ever concocted!" Eddy exclaimed, clearly excited about what ever scam he had developed in his mind.
"I wish you'd concoct a better understanding of the English language..." Edd muttered to himself. "Well then, perhaps you should relate to me this clearly brilliant plan that you've designed."
"We'll get to that part, Double D. I just gotta find the perfect location for my scam..." Eddy responded as he scanned the lane for a good site.
"Well, the way you bragged about it just a few seconds ago, Eddy, I thought you were just dying to tell me your idea," Edd replied.
"Yeah, well I made a quick change of plans, Double D. I decided not to tell you, because when I do tell you my plan, you always have to point out flaws in it, even though all my plans are always foolproof," Eddy bragged as he finally stopped walking. His eyes lit up as he studied a spot between two dumpsters. "This spot is perfect..." Eddy mumbled.
"I don't think you even have to let me in on your plan, Eddy. I can already tell the total disaster this scam is going to be just by looking at the location you've selected," Edd retorted.
"Hey, this spot actually has some sentimental value!" Eddy came back before turning around and crossing his arms.
"Oh, really? In what way, Eddy?" Edd questioned.
"It looks like a scale model of your gap!" Eddy joked before laughing. Edd shot him an angry look, which only intensified Eddy's whooping laugh.
"Oh, you're right, Eddy. It does have sentimental value. It reminds me of the huge amount of space above your head!" Edd shot back before giggling. Eddy stopped laughing and gave a confused look at Edd.
"... uh... was that supposed to be a short joke or something?" Eddy asked as he scratched his head. "You really gotta work on your material, Double D," Eddy suggested before turning back to the space between the dumpsters, not noticing Edd rolling his eyes at him. "Enough joking around, though; we got suckers, who got money, and we got the ability to scam those suckers out of their money!" Eddy exclaimed. He entered the gap between the two dumpsters and began walking around in it, trying to figure out if this spot would work for his scam.
"Not that I want to question your brilliant idea, but I hope at the very least that you've planned ahead for any unforeseen events," Edd stated frankly. Eddy groaned and turned to Edd.
"Damn it, I knew you'd start nagging me about the details as soon as we got around to laying out my scam!" Eddy yelled angrily. "And what the hell do you mean by unforeseen events?" Eddy's entire demeanor suddenly changed to confusion when he saw Edd go bug eyed and point further down the lane.
"I mean those sort of unforeseen events!" Edd shrieked in fear, causing Eddy to whirl around and stare down the lane. Eddy's face filled with terror, disgust, and hate at what he saw. The Kanker sisters were strolling casually down the lane, laughing and guffawing as they went, and their course would lead them straight to where Edd and Eddy were planning to unleash Eddy's scam.
"Oh shit!" Eddy seethed, trying to keep his voice low. The Kankers hadn't spotted them yet, so Eddy knew that there was hope yet to escape their tormentors. "Quick, Double D, into the dumpster!" Eddy commanded as he lifted the lid on one of the dumpsters. Although Edd had an extreme aversion to anything or anyplace that was unsanitary or filthy, the absolute need to escape the Kankers at all costs always trumped the need for cleanliness. Edd bolted over to the dumpster and lifted himself up to the top before dropping inside; Eddy followed suit soon after before carefully shutting the lid on the dumpster. "Stay quiet and stop shaking, sockhead! I really don't want to have to deal with these Kanker bitches today," Eddy whispered, his voice stuttering and choking. Edd gave a silent acknowledgement in the form of a nod.
They heard the Kankers getting closer and closer to the dumpster where the two of them sat trembling and sweating. Eddy gulped. Although all of the kids in the Cul-De-Sac were now four years older, the relationships between them had changed very little, especially between the Eds and the rest of the kids. Eddy and Kevin still loathed each other, and, with the exception of times when Kevin might need to buy something from Eddy, rarely got along and almost never talked, although when they did talk it was usually to insult and berate each other. Since Ed and Edd hung out with Eddy, Kevin displayed the same hatred and revulsion toward them that he showed toward Eddy, although he could occasionally tolerate Edd in some situations. Sarah still mistreated and abused her brother, and she absolutely hated Eddy because she viewed him as a loud mouth, which Eddy found extremely ironic. Sarah had lost her crush on Edd, but wouldn't yell at him or abuse him unless he gave her reason to. The rest of the kids, namely Rolf, Nazz, Jonny, and Jimmy, could all tolerate the Eds, as long as they weren't in a scamming mood.
The relationship that was at the forefront of Eddy's mind, however, was the one between the Eds and the Kankers. Eddy always thought that it was funny, in a dark kind of way, that, while Kevin and Sarah had hated the Eds for a much longer time, since they had known them since they were really young, that the Kankers were the ones that the Eds hated and feared the most, despite only meeting them four years ago; but those four years felt like forty to the Eds, who lived in fear of the Kankers on a daily basis. Every day, Eddy knew that he could step outside his door and they could be waiting for him. He knew that he could go to make breakfast and they'd be lying in wait under the table or in a closet. Eddy even knew that he could wake up and one of the Kankers could be in bed with him, grinning as she waited for him to wake up so the "fun" could begin. It was a constant fear that permeated the Eds lives in everything they did. Whereas the other kids were usually reactionary, only harming or torturing the Eds if they deserved it, the Kankers would come without warning; the Eds always had to be on their toes, on the look out for any shadowing forms lurking around in the shadows or bushes, and always listening for the trademark giggles and laughs that the Eds had grown so accustomed to hearing that they started running by instinct when they heard them; and oh boy did they hear those laughs that caused the hairs on the backs of their necks to stand up as they cowered in the smelly dumpster.
"I can't wait to see the look on his face when he goes in his garage and sees nothing there!" Marie said before giggling like a maniac.
"Yeah, he'll probably start crying like a little baby when he sees it's gone," May added before guffawing.
"Serves him right for talking about us behind our backs. The next time he does it, I say we pay him a little visit when he's in the shower, eh girls?" Lee joked before the three of them burst out in a chorus of laughter.
"What the hell do you think they're talking about, Double D?" Eddy whispered as low as he could.
"I-I-I'm not s-s-sure, Eddy..." Edd stammered, his voice barely audible. He could barely find the ability to speak.
"When should we give it back to him?" May asked as the three sisters finished their round of laughter.
"No, May, the question is should we give it back to him?" Marie jested before grinning evilly.
"Aw, no need to be so cruel to the guy, Marie. We'll give his precious motorcycle back in a week," Lee began as the three of them stopped directly in front of the dumpster that Edd and Eddy were trembling in distress. "With some slight modifications, of course," Lee finished before the three of them started laughing again.
"I swear, they must have vocal chords of steel after all the laughing they do," Eddy whispered as the two of them continued to listen to the Kankers. "I think they're talking about Kevin and his motorcycle, though..." Eddy suggested. After Kevin had gotten old enough to drive and obtained his driver's license, he quickly took the exam to acquire a motorcycle license; he easily passed the test, and, as a reward, his parents bought him a brand-spanking new motorcycle, which was Kevin's new pride and joy, having tossed out his old bike as soon as he got the motorcycle. Eddy began snickering under his breath. Edd punched Eddy softly in the arm, and he quit it, catching the hint that the Kankers might hear his laughing and find them hiding in the dumpster.
"What should we do now, Lee?" May asked, looking for the eldest sister for guidance.
"Alright, May, keep your pants on. Here's the plan..." Lee began before the the three of them bunched up together and began whispering back and forth. Eddy gulped in fear; he was wondering if they were plotting to find him, Ed, and Edd next and do the "usual" to them.
"Damn it, I can't hear what they're saying..." Eddy muttered. He began to lift the dumpster lid slightly. Edd grabbed Eddy's hand tightly.
"What are you doing, Eddy? Stay down or they might find us..." Edd whispered frantically.
"Double D, what if they're talking about us? We need to know so we can try to avoid being out in the open," Eddy explained, causing Edd to release his iron grip on Eddy's arm. Edd sighed in defeat.
"Very well, but please don't make a noise or we're both going to be in hot water," Edd warned solemnly. Eddy nodded as he lifted the dumpster lid just enough to overhear what the Kankers were saying. He could see their hunched forms bent over as they plotted, and everyone in the Cul-De-Sac knew that when the Kankers plotted, it usually wasn't to go out and do something good. The Kankers, who were all aged a year apart, hadn't changed much in their behavior, although one could say that they had changed; they had become about ten times more cruel than they were four years ago when they first moved to Peach Creek. The three of them still wore the same sort of clothes as before, although they all filled them out much more nicely, all of them having sprouted some pretty plump breasts, thanks to their mother's genetics. That didn't really matter, at least to the Eds, as they still found them absolutely repulsive; no matter what the Kankers looked like physically, it was the emotional pain the Kankers brought them that drove them away running in fear and terror time and time again.
"... and, knowing them, they'll probably be setting up right about now, just in time for us to pay a visit," Lee whispered as May and Marie nodded.
"Should we split up to look for them?" May asked.
"Yeah, it'll be faster that way. And if one of you two find the Eds, you better not try to go in for the kill without me; I'll wring your neck so hard your eyes'll pop out," Lee threatened. The three of them broke the huddle and sped off in opposite directions. Eddy made sure the Kankers were well away from the lane before throwing the lid up and jumping down out of the dumpster, Edd following suit soon after.
"Shit, I knew it! Those bitches are looking for us!" Eddy exclaimed before slamming his fist into the side of the dumpster, causing Edd to wince. Edd cringed every time Eddy, or anyone else, for that matter, cussed, due to his moral upbringing; although all of the other kids in the Cul-De-Sac, including dopey Ed and preteen Sarah and Jimmy occasionally, had started swearing like sailors on a daily basis, finding it "hip" and "cool, Edd had refused to follow along with the fad, and, as a result, was constantly mocked by the others as a "goody-two-shoes" and a "momma's boy".
"Oh dear, I knew something like this was bound to happen today..." Edd mumbled fearfully as he began to rub his temples. Eddy began pacing back and forth in thought as he rubbed his chin. Edd watched Eddy pace as he continued to rub his temples, trying desperately to ward off the fear that was trying to freeze up his body and cloud his mind.
"Alright, well I guess we gotta put my scam on hold, at least until we know we're in the clear with the Kankers," Eddy stated. "And to do that, we're gonna need to lay low for a while..." Eddy continued. He suddenly stopped pacing and snapped his fingers. "I got it! We'll grab Ed, head over to Rolf's place, and stay there for a while! The Kankers will never look there for us!" Eddy proposed before looking at Edd, waiting impatiently for him to agree to his plan. Edd sighed.
"Well, I suppose you're right about me, Eddy; the first thing I'd like to do right now is point out all the holes and flaws in your plan... but I just don't have the patience for that right now. My brain tells me we need to think through a careful plan to escape the Kankers this time, but my heart, which feels like it's about to claw it's way out of my chest, tells me we need to get hidden and fast. So, whether I actually like our plan or not, I'll go along with it, Eddy," Edd submitted.
"Thank god for that, Double D. You saved me the trouble of having to shut you up and make you go with my plan anyway," Eddy teased before dashing down the lane and toward the Cul-De-Sac, Edd following him closely. Unfortunately for Edd and Eddy, they failed to spot a certain blue-haired Kanker peaking over a fence at them as they ran away, a huge, maniacal grin on her face. She hopped over the fence and down into the lane, pausing for a moment to watch her prey run away. She giggled quietly to herself before hustling down the lane in the opposite direction, hoping to find her sisters as soon as possible and report her findings.