Warm fingers ran down his shoulders and his back
and stopped just above his pants line,
hot breath on his ear and soft chest pressing against his back.

Something was happening to him, something deliciously terrible,
and his stomach curled in bliss, and heat shot to his groin –
he didn't realize that it was possible for another man's touch to arouse him like this;
not just physically but emotionally as well.

"Oh," a voice murmured against his neck, hot and wet oh god, "Kyon, are you getting hard?"

He sighed and he tilted his face back to peer at his attacker,
who didn't look upset at Kyon's lack of response, since all he got was a pretty moaning noise.

"I'll take that as a yes," he said as he bit his neck and ground his hard erection into the brunette's butt.

Kyon shuddered and gasped,
throwing back his head in ecstasy.

"Oh god!" he shouted in a loud gasp, "stop."

His weak plea was unheard and Itsuki took those hot hands of his
and took Kyon's pants, then his underwear, and finally his shirt.
Now he had no fabric to separate Itsuki's throbbing arousal from his bare bottom
and he reeled in shock when pain laced up his spine as something big and hot thrust into him
and he knew what and who it was when he heard a groan behind him,
lips still latched to his neck.

"Itsuki!" Kyon whimpered as the other boy rocked in and out of him, chest slapping against Kyon's arched back with each movement.

Their gasps and sighs and moans shook the walls,
their thrusts and pounding shaking the classroom tables,
their sweat soaking the home work they had never started on.
Itsuki's movements grew more frantic, each thrust followed by a grunt, and Kyon pushed his ass back to deepen the blows,
soft moans and "oh god yes" leaving his dry lips.
Finally, Itsuki reeled forward and murmured sexily into Kyon's ear "Let's come together."

"Oh, god, yes—"
With one final thrust—

"OKAY, OKAY, STOP."

Haruhi looked up from the paper she held in her hands, a frustrated expression on her dace. "Kyon, that was rude. Don't interrupt me when I'm speaking!"

"Yeah, Kyon," Itsuki said with an amused smile, "it's rude."

Kyon looked at Itsuki and Haruhi, and finally—though he dreaded—at Asahina, who was so red in the face that she clung to Nagato for support. He turned his attention to Haruhi, a stunned and horrified look on his usually-calm and collected face.

"What the hell was that?"

Haruhi scrunched her nose at him. "Obviously, it was a fanfiction written by one of our fans."

"One of our what?"

"Fans," she repeated. "I found it in the classroom this morning. It's obviously written about you two, so I thought it'd be interesting to read it at our meeting."

"That's some hard core stuff," Kyon said in an uneven voice. "Is that really appropriate to read at school?"

Silence. Finally, Haruhi looked at him with an irritated look on her face and deepened her frown. "Kyon, you're such a stick in the mud! But if you're really so upset by it, we can always leave school grounds and continue the story…"

"I don't want to hear the ending," Kyon said.

"Well, some of us do!" Haruhi shouted as she looked at the paper in awe. "This is brilliant! The thought of you and Itsuki as a pair never occurred to me. If we put this to good use by playing this yaoi to our advantage, we can attract more female customers!"

Kyon stared at her in astonishment.

"That might work," Itsuki agreed. Kyon turned to face him in shock. He saw the other boy's expression and smiled that relaxed smile of his, which only made Kyon's blood boil in embarrassed rage. "What? I only say that because it's true."

"I'm not going to do any of that sick stuff with him," Kyon said in repulsion, jabbing his thumb in Itsuki's direction. "And I don't want to hear anymore of this 'fanfiction' of yours."

"It's not mine, but we must find the author!" Haruhi decided, completely ignoring Kyon's complaints. "She should join the brigade and become our Yaoi Consultant! We could set up some movies, or a TV series, or just some publicity stunts to attract the females…yeah, it's perfect! Kyon, you can be the bottom," Haruhi said as she pointed at a silent Kyon. "You fit the part perfectly, as the writer of this brilliant tale has established…."

"No."

"I don't remember giving you any choice," Haruhi said with a frown. Kyon grimaced but said nothing so Haruhi ignored him. "Itsuki, you seem to know what you're doing. Seduce Kyon publically! Make sure plenty of girls are around!"

I swear, this girl is out to destroy my reputation…and my potential dating life.

"Of course, if that's what you want," Itsuki said graciously. As always, he was eager to please Haruhi, even if it meant wooing another man. Kyon had fallen silent, too stunned to form a coherent thought, much less words.

"Okay then, it's settled! We'll find the author and get her to join the group, then begin planning!" Haruhi said.

"How do we know she's a girl?" Itsuki asked.

"Huh?" Haruhi blinked.

"What if it's a male?" Itsuki suggested. Haruhi stared at him blankly then laughed, putting the story onto the desk before she hopped off of the collection of desks she had been using as a stage. She headed for the door, dragging a still-crying Asahina. "Come on, let's begin our search!"

"I can't believe this is actually happening," Kyon muttered dully. Itsuki chuckled and Kyon glared at him for his compliancy with Haruhi's demands, and stalked after her in hopes of convincing her to back away from the plan. Nagato shut her book and followed behind them, silent as ever.

Itsuki stayed behind. Once the door slammed shut and the shouts of the noisy SOS Brigade leader faded away, he picked the papers up and sat down. "Wonder how it ends," he muttered vaguely in thought, a knowing smile on his face.

-the creepy end. I mean, owari, or something. I think that's Japanese for 'end' right? Whatever.

a/N; Anyway, this was written after reading one too many itsuki/kyon fics. ;A;
It's short and pointless, ikr. Maybe I'll write a sequel so we can meet the writer (AKA ITSUKI LMAO WORST TWIST ENDING EVER HAHA) and shit, and uh, stuff...yeah...i know, it's not very clever. This was pretty much written for the sake of writing rated M Kyon/Itsuki smut. XD