This was literally written during a 1-hour Car-Ride with my parents who I'm currently visiting. I've always wanted to use that song and now I've gotten the perfect idea.

Warning: Death-Fic, Slash

Pairing: Whoever you want it to be/Cody

Disclaimer: I luckily own a brain of my own :P Lyrics are stolen from Three Days Grace - 'Last to know' Just imagine they're singing 'He' instead of 'She'. It works, trust me :)


He was walking the long path around the cemetery, the same he always took when he was there, at least once a week. He did not want to see anyone or to be seen, wanting to grief alone, wanting his peace while talking to him.

She just walked away

Why didn't she tell me

And where do I go tonight

He missed him. The baby blue eyes sparkling at him. Those pearl-white teeth flashing the most addicting smile ever at him. Those rosy cheeks, so smooth, so warm under his touch. His vulnerability. His goofiness. His kindness. His naivety. His cheekiness. His warmth.

This isn't happening to me

This can't be happening to me

She didn't say a word

Just walked away

Everything was still so real to him. His kisses. Those plump, sensual lips. His touch. Those long, slender fingers. His heat. Those prominent hipbones, those chiseled abs, those thick thighs.

This was my first love

She was the first to go

And when she left me for you

I was the last to know

He had gotten the call almost a year ago in the middle of the night. He had not even been alone, the first call unanswered, the second ignored. An overdose. Painkillers. A bottle of Jack. Those had been the only words he had registered. One of their co-workers had found him after he had not shown up at the arena that evening for the match he had been scheduled for.

Why didn't she tell me

Where to go tonight

She didn't say a word

She just walked away

He, himself, had been off with an injury for almost three weeks by then. Three weeks during which he had drunk, partied and screwed around, with women, with men, with whomever had been willing. And it had not been the first time, but surely the last. Three weeks during which he had made the biggest mistake in his still young life: He had broken the others heart. He had killed him. Something he would never forgive himself for.

You were the first to say

That we were not okay

You were the first to lie

When we were not alright

Finally arriving at his destination, as always a wide bouquet of white lilies tightly grasped in one hand -the only flowers HE had ever accepted near him, his favorites-, he kneeled down in front of the grave.

This was my first love

She was the first to go

And when she left me for you

I was the last to know

Other hand brushing over the headstone he let his tears fall freely down his cheeks, the same tears he had to hide each and every day, each and every night for the past year. The tears he only ever let him see. Let him dry. Let him wipe away.

I was the first to say

That now I'm okay

And for the first time

I've opened up my eyes

"Here lies

Cody Garrett Runnels

1985-2011

beloved son, brother, uncle and friend

The sun in our hearts, souls and minds

Forever loved and never forgotten"

This was my worst love

You'll be the first to go

And when she leaves you for dead

You'll be the last to know

A whispered "Never" escaped his trembling lips as he lay down the bouquet on the neatly arranged grave and set down, cross-legged, in front of the one person who had brought so much light into his else so numb and grey life and whose death had taken everything from him.

I'll be the first to say

That now I'm okay

And for the first time

I've opened up my eyes

The words flowed as easily as the tears, the image behind his closed lids that of his younger lover, the brunette smiling back at him with wide crystal blues. He had forgiven Cody long ago, and one day he hoped, Cody would forgive him, too.

This was my worst love

You'll be the first to go

And when she leaves you for dead

You'll be the last to know


Tell me who YOU imagine as the 'mysterious' lover.

I know the song isn't about death, but it does work. I believe so at least.

Still writing on the next chap of 'SmutFest' AND the next chap of 'Our Story thus far', but don't expect anything before this weekend, please! :)