A/N: For sarcastic_fina's prompt: "we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me." on the Puck/Rachel drabble meme. A bit more than a drabble I'm afraid. I also have no idea where this came from.
Santana grabbed her keys from the rack by the door, so fucking grateful to have her car back it was ridiculous, hell she was fucking grateful to be in a city where she needed a car. She never knew how much she loved driving herself around until she spent a year using public transportation.
"I'm out, don't wait up!" she screamed through the house and if her parents even heard her, they probably didn't care. It should have bothered her that she'd been home for her first year of college for all of two seconds before ditching them and they could care less but she had places to go and people to see and she really needed a fucking beer.
All the gleeks were having a get together at Britt's house and Santana couldn't believe how much she was looking forward to seeing these fuckers. Obviously she'd missed Brittany and her and Hummel kind of had a weird 'we're both confused about our sexuality' bonding thing senior year but really she just needed people to bitch to, people who would understand the absolutely horrendous year from hell she just had. It was all Rachel Berry's fault and her former Glee club members were truly the only ones who got that.
She'd tried bitching to people at school about it but they fucking loved Rachel which in and of itself blew Santana's mind grapes. They couldn't understand, they'd never be able to understand because they didn't know LO Rachel, Lima, Ohio Rachel, all they knew was NY Rachel, or New York Rachel and the simple fact that the two were so completely different fucking people was almost more than Santana could handle.
The only person in the entire state of New York who could possibly understand was Puck and he was no fucking help. He didn't understand what her problem was, he told her that like literally a billion times actually and she told him that the fact that he didn't understand what her problem was, was part of her fucking problem.
When she'd found out that somehow her, Rachel, and Puck had all gotten accepted into NYU it was weird but whatever. Then Rachel suggested that they request a room together because it was easier to live with someone you already knew you hated then to have to live with a stranger that chances were you'd grow to hate. Santana couldn't really fault that logic so she'd said whatever and Rachel had filled out the forms. She was only a bit worried that she would actually kill Rachel before the first semester was over but figured if anything Puck was there and he was always good for a little tension release.
Only suddenly they're in New York for less than two hours and Rachel legit turns into this completely different person. They're unpacking their shit, fighting over closet space with Puck on the bed offering to organize their underwear drawers for them when a dude pops his head in their door and tells them there's an epic Start of the Semester party going on in some dorm in Union Square and Rachel thanks him then turns to her and Puck and says, "We going?"
Puck jumps off the bed and says fuck yeah and before she knows it Rachel Berry is dragging her to her first official college party. Six drinks later Santana's still fucking sober and Rachel's standing on a table rocking out to AC/DC, head banging, air guitar the works and the room's going fucking crazy for her. Puck's just laughing and cheering her on and he nudges Santana on the shoulder and declares that this is going to be the Best. Fucking. Year. Ever.
After about ten more drinks, Santana's walking about five feet behind Puck and Rachel who are both shit-faced, leaning against each other as they sing "We Are the Champions" because no shit they won the Beer Pong Tournament and she wonders how she ended up the sober one making sure they didn't trip into oncoming traffic and holding Rachel's hair as she puked in a mailbox.
They get back to their dorm and Puck crashes on the floor because he can't remember where he lives. In his defense he was in his room for all of two seconds before he ditched unpacking to come find them. In the morning Santana wakes up to find Rachel standing beside her bed holding out a cup of coffee and asking her if she wants to take a walk.
Puck grumbles something and climbs into Rachel's bed as they head out to the park and Rachel tells her that she's not going to apologize for the night before and explains that she wasted so much time in high school going after what she thought she should have instead of what she wanted and how everyone in Lima had this pre-set idea of her and she was so afraid of stepping out of that box that she never got a chance to just be a normal teenager. But here in New York no one knew her so she could be whoever she wanted to be and she wanted to just be Rachel Berry for once.
Santana shrugged, cause whatever, thinking she might go a little wild for the first week or so but once classes started up she would go back to being the Rachel she knew and wanted to light on fire.
Except she didn't. Because as much as New York was a clean slate for her, there was also no denying that it was her fucking town, she was in her element here and nothing was going to hold her back, not even Santana. She wanted to experience everything, she wanted to do things she would normally be afraid to do and Puck was way too eager to be her tour guide into the newfound world of being a bad ass. And at first Santana was too, but after a while it pained her to realize that she couldn't fucking keep up. With Rachel Berry.
They would party all weekend and come Monday morning Rachel would rise and shine and have some coffee and go to her ridiculous 7 a.m. class with a smile on her face and Santana would find herself crawling out of bed around noon, sick as a dog and decide she'd try to make it to her Tuesday classes. And Puck, well Puck had this way of simply strolling into his 10:00 around 5 to 11 and still fucking pass, granted this was the guy who didn't go to a single math class all four years at McKinley and he managed to graduate.
So Santana found herself cutting back on the partying and ramping up the studying because Daddy had been serious when he'd said a 3.0 or better or he was pulling his tuition money and she could go to Lima community college like all the other losers. That meant that she was the one doing her history reading in bed on Thursday night when Puck and Rachel stumbled into the room around 1 laughing about something that was only funny if you were both A. Drunk and B. There when it happened.
She was the one getting texts while in the library on a Friday night from Rachel telling her not to bother coming to the party in the Village cause they were there for like five minutes when she spotted the douche from those Twilight movies and Puck made a comment about him not sparkling in real life and then kind of sort of punched him and they were thinking of heading to that donut place on 7th because Puck was craving a fucking gyro like nobody's business.
It was like freaky Friday and she'd become Rachel Berry and Rachel Berry had become her and Santana was starting to get scared that she was actually, possibly, better at it than she was. And that shit was not Kosher. And the only people who could possibly understand were the Gleek's.
She pulled into Brittany's house and her phone beeped with an incoming text message.
Puckerman: An hour away, Berry took fucking forever packing, don't drink all the beer before I get there.
Santana rolled her eyes and was about to respond that she'd drink all the fucking beer if she wanted to because she'd probably had about half what he had this past year when she got another message this one from Rachel.
Berry*: Please disregard whatever Noah just said as he's lying. I took a perfectly adequate amount of time packing, he's the one who insisted we go all the way to the Upper East Side for a bagel before we leave the city. Also he's texting while driving.
Santana sighed, she had a feeling they'd been like this the whole car ride down and she was just thankful that she'd taken a bus.
Puckerman: A. It's not just a bagel and she knows that. 2. She scarfed down two before we got over the bridge. C. Tell her to shut up.
She opened up a new chat window and selected both of their names so she only had to say this once.
To: Puckerman & Berry*
1.I'm still not fucking talking to either of you two after last night. B. Fuck you. C. If you want to fight leave me and my fucking phone out of it. 4. If you don't have a fucking Bagel in that truck for me don't even bother coming to Britt's, hell don't bother coming to Ohio.
A second later her phone buzzed with two new message which were both probably versions of I'm Sorry. "San!" Britt squealed from her front porch and she smiled as the blond tore down the steps and jumped into her arms. "I'm so glad you're here! Everyone's inside already. I missed you!"
"Missed you to B." Santana sighed into the hug and allowed the blonde to lead her into the house.
Everyone jumped up to offer their greetings and Mike handed her a beer and she downed the thing in like two sips and then sunk into the chair on Brittany's back porch and it was just like she hadn't been gone for a year. "So where's Berry and Puckerman?" Sam asked, offering her a knowing glance.
Sam was really the only one who knew what she'd been going through this year because he was the only one besides Britt who bothered to keep in touch with her. Plus she'd had to call him at 4 in the morning a few months ago to wire her some money so she could bail Puck and Rachel out of jail when Rachel read an article about animal mistreatment in testing labs and somehow that made her decide after a few drinks that she just had to free the monkey's from the Central Park Zoo and Puck decided that was the best idea in the history of ideas.
"Wait, let me guess," Mercedes said. "You finally snapped after living with Rachel for a year and you killed her and Puck's burying the body."
"Something like that," Santana chuckled and the group roared with laughter. "Actually Puck needed his truck this summer to work and Rachel had something to take care of at the library before she could leave so he said he'd wait and drive her back."
"What? She have an overdue book or something?" Quinn snorted. "Had to fight with the librarian about the fine?"
Santana just smiled but didn't say anything. Actually it was more like the Dean had assigned her 50 hours of community service that she had to finish before she could leave campus for the semester. They'd all gone to this party where Rachel had started talking to this guy from the swim team who was complaining about how no one really appreciated them and how they didn't get cheerleaders or peep rally's or anything and Rach got completely outraged, possibly remembering how that had felt when it was the Glee club that wasn't appreciated and said that wasn't fair and vowed to do something just for them.
Two weeks later Rachel, Santana, and Puck were sneaking into their rival teams (which legit she didn't even know a swim team had rivals) pool and dying their water purple (Go NYU!) and somehow they'd gotten caught, probably because they were drunk and Rachel had taken the rap cause she knew Santana's dad would pull her tuition and Puck couldn't have another strike on his record. It was pretty cool of her and she somehow managed to talk the other school out of pressing charges if she agreed to do on campus community service.
They started talking about nothing and everything after that, catching up with each other about the past year and Santana found herself relaxing. Somehow they started to relate horror stories of their first year of college, between roommates from hell (Quinn), to embarrassing rush pranks (Finn), to showing up to class late and then realizing it wasn't your class (Brittany, four times).
Santana just sat back and smirked as they went on and on trying to one up each other in how bad their freshman year was cause legit she had this fucking game in the bag.
She could tell them about the time that Rachel had organized a naked run in support of the arts only to realize too late you needed to get a permit for things like that from the school which led to her room being filled with gross naked people for half a day as they hid out from campus police. Granted she'd gotten some seriously hilarious photos out of that whole mess.
She could tell them about life scaring experience of Rachel dragging her up on stage at some seedy bar to do an amazingly awful duet of "Forgot About Dre" after the this blonde Sorority bitch strung Puck along for three weeks cause she needed a date to some wedding or something, then when it was over dumped his ass in the middle of a party. Rachel Berry rapping was somehow all together awesome and so so very wrong. But it made Puck feel better and ended with the three of them singing I Got You Babe and a standing ovation.
She could tell them about the time that Rachel broke up with some theater douche and made Puck bake special brownies because she wanted to experience the effects of Marijuana but she refused to smoke it because it would ruin her voice. They sat in Puck's dorm for three hours eating brownies and listening to Zeppelin while Rachel mellowed out truly and completely for the first fucking time ever. It was kind of cool for like all of three minutes then it just got freaky and Puck jumped up dragging her to her feet and declared they were going to Coney Island because he'd always wanted to ride a roller coaster while high. It was the most terrifying experience of Santana's life. But it was still pretty fun and Coney Island sort of became their ritual when anyone of them got dumped after that, minus the brownies cause seriously a roller coaster while high was a heart attack waiting to happen.
She grabbed another beer annoyed because suddenly she didn't want to complain about Rachel anymore, she wanted to brag to all of them how she had pretty much the Best. Fucking. Year. Ever. Just like Puck predicted and then she realized that they'd never understand because they didn't know NY Rachel, they'd never know NY Rachel so they couldn't possibly understand or appreciate her.
"Fuck you losers, my year was fucking Epic." Santana said before she could stop herself.
"Epic?" Mike asked doubtfully. "You lived with Rachel right? Is that even possible?"
"Yeah, come on spill," Quinn said. "Quick before she gets here, how excruciating was it to spend a whole year in the same room as Rachel Berry."
"Yeah we want to know what it was like to live with her? Did she sing all the time, talk your ear off?" Mercedes asked.
"Did she pitch a fit when you brought guys back to the room?" Finn asked.
"Seriously did she drive you insane?" Tina smiled.
And suddenly Santana got pissed, like really super pissed. "Fuck you," she spat at them. "You want to know what it was like living with Rachel it was fucking awesome ok?" They all looked taken aback by that and Santana just kept going. "Like seriously. She'd set a second alarm for me every day and hide it around the room cause she knew I always hit snooze and the only way I'd get my ass out of bed was if it had to hunt the thing down to turn it off. She did all the fucking laundry, hers and mine because she wanted to, even washed my sheets and changed them once a week because she said there was nothing better than fresh clean sheets. When I got sick and was throwing up for like two weeks straight she brought me medicine and crackers and chicken soup and skipped all her fucking classes to sit in mine and take notes so that I wouldn't fall behind. She never complained when I was a bitch or ate all her really expensive soy yogurt and she was like the coolest fucking person in New York City and you guys are just the same high school loser that couldn't ever possibly appreciate her so fuck you, you have no idea what you're missing."
"San?" A small voice said from behind her and she turned around to see Puck and Rachel standing at the door, tears welling up in her eyes.
"Don't you fucking cry, don't you dare fucking cry," Santana said, tears already falling down her cheeks and the two girls ran across the room and hugged each other.
"I'm sorry, I really really really am," Rachel mumbled and Santana shook her head.
"No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Of course I want to room with you next year, I couldn't fucking survive that city without you. I shouldn't have gotten so upset, it was an accident, I didn't mean to scream at you." Santana said pulling away.
"We broke your bed!" Rachel reminded her a soft smile on her face. "I think you were more than entitled to get upset."
"What just happened?" Quinn asked no one in particular.
"They do this shit all the time, it's exhausting. They hate each other, it's the end of the world, they're never speaking to each other ever again and then they cry and hug it out and they're BFF's again. Whatever I need a beer." Puck rolled his eyes.
"Hey you want to get out of here?" Santana asked her.
"So very much," Rachel nodded. "I didn't even want to come but Puck said I had to make up with you."
"Yeah like I was going to spend my summer with my fucking girlfriend and best friend not talking to each other. Fuck that noise." Puck snorted.
"Oh my God, you and Santana got back together?" Finn asked.
"Eww," Santana and Puck said at the same time. "Thats gross, like his dick is getting anywhere near this ever again." Santana said, shaking her head in disgust at the thought.
"Fuck you, like I want to touch your nasty shit, I don't know where it's been." Puck glared at her and Rachel smacked him in the head. "Sorry baby."
"Rachel's tongue does," Santana shot back.
"I told you to stop with that shit Lopez," Puck said, his eyes dark. "It's not cool; she's my girlfriend now you can't say shit like that."
"Rachel and Puck?" Mercedes asked staring at the exchange in front of them. "Did I wake up in the twilight zone this morning?" Yeah that was how Santana had felt when one minute Rachel was flirting with some dude from the hockey team and the next she and Puck were fighting about it cause, hello, Hockey Team! and then he'd kissed her and that was that. It had been weird for all of like five minutes but then it was like so fucking obvious she couldn't figure out how it had taken them almost two semesters to get their shit together.
"Sam," Rachel smiled over at the blonde ignoring as Puck and Santana went at it. "How was trip home?"
"It was great." Sam smiled at her.
"Oh before I forget." Rachel pulled an envelope out of her bag and passed it to him. "Two thousand dollars, it's all there. Thanks again for bailing us out."
"No problem." Sam stuck the envelope in his pocket and stood up. "How are the Monkey's?"
"Doing much better thank you for asking." She beamed at him.
"Hey look, my grandma's at her Bridge night and that stuff goes on to like two in the morning. Want to head over to my place, catch up?"
"I would love to." Rachel grabbed his arm and made her way to the door. "It was nice to see you again." She lied to the others. "Guys we're going to Sam's." she called to Puck and Santana who were still arguing.
"I can say whatever I want, she was my girlfriend first," Santana snapped at him and Puck rolled his eyes.
"Well yeah but without the sex," he said as they headed to the door and Santana didn't say anything. "Without the sex right?" he asked again and Rachel and Santana looked at each other then turned away quickly and Puck groaned. "You gotta tell me shit like this baby," Puck wrapped his arms around her waist. "I'm not gonna judge, in fact I want to know all the details."
"I thought you said my shit was nasty?" Santana smirked.
"Yeah well it is, but hers isn't."
"It's college I wanted to experiment." Rachel shrugged.
"I'm all for experimenting. We can go to my house right now and experiment the fuck out of each other." Puck wiggled his eyebrows and Rachel shoved him away.
"That doesn't even make sense dumb ass." Santana told him.
"Your face doesn't make sense." Puck shot back at her and she laughed as he opened her car door for her.
"Wait," Brittany came running out. "Can I come with you guys?"
They all frowned and looked at her. "But Britt, this is your house."
"Yeah but those guys are mean, and boring." Brittany whined. "I want to come with you and hear about New York Rachel cause she sounds really cool."
Rachel beamed again and she knew Brittany was coming along.
"I want to hear about how they broke your bed." Sam said
"I'd actually like to hear how that happened too," She looked over at Puck and Rachel. She wasn't mad anymore, just curious. She'd come home from the library after pulling and all-nighter to get her paper finished and just wanted to fucking sleep and her mattress was like half on the floor and the bed frame was literally cracked in half and Rachel and Puck were in Rachel's bed asleep and she'd been so pissed she woke them up, screamed for like an hour, told Rachel she was a bitch and she was going to ask for a new roommate next year then packed her bags and traded her ticket in for an earlier one.
"I want to hear all the stories," Brittany said. "But I'm warning you right now. Me and my roommate bought a duck. We're keeping him in our dorm room. So don't even try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me."
"A duck?" Rachel asked her.
"His name is Walter," Brittany smiled and pulled out her phone. "I have pictures."
Santana thought about the three weeks her and Rachel walked around campus speaking with British accents and the way they would break into the concert hall so that they could sit in the audience while Rachel belted out show tunes and pretend she was on Broadway, and then how they'd have to run from campus security because, shit the bitch was loud. She thought about the cake that Rachel and Puck tried to bake her for her birthday using whatever was in her room, a hot plate, and a blow dryer. Then she thought about Rachel getting them all fake ID's to take her out to a club to make up for her getting food poisoning from said birthday cake and how the highlight of the night was making Puck go up to the bar and order the girliest fucking drinks on the planet for them. But yeah, ducks were pretty cool.
"Where is he now?" Rachel asked and Brittany looked confused. "You and your roommate both came home for summer so where is Walter? Is he here or did she take him?"
"Oh crap," Brittany said. "I've got to call my roommate."
Sam laughed and Puck shook his head. "We should totally get a duck."
"We're not getting a duck," Rachel shook her head.
"A fucking duck would be awesome." Puck said and looked at Santana.
"He's right, it would be pretty cool. We'll have our bathroom next year, he could live in the tub."
"We're not getting a duck," Rachel said again and Santana looked at Puck over her head and smirked. They were totally getting a duck next year.