(For this I'll refer to myself like I always do but Robin Hood as Robin H)
Robin Hood Parody
Opening: The shortest one I've seen in weeks! They cut straight to the book!
Story book: epically opens!
Roster: Boys and girls, I am a roster that could be from New Orleans, now we are going to give you a G rating of this story because the actual legend involves so many sexual undertones that it's impossible to make it in a Disney movie.
Robin: Thank God they didn't do Romeo and Juliet
Opening Credits: Are back and takes forever!
Robin: Fast Forward!
Rooster: I'm gonna tell you how it is…. Total Robin Hood and Little John bromance! Run for your life suckers! More bromance!
In a tree
Little John: Dude check out your hat
Robin H: (Takes off hat and has total disregard for mortal peril) Wow, that's so cool.
Lil'J: they might hang us you moron
Robin H: Nah, you're too fat
At the parade
Robin H: Why are all of these guys wearing pink and purple?
Prince John: Aha…twitch…aha…taxes…twitch…
Hiss: Yes Sire, you're awesome Sire, have my kids Sire
Prince John: What?
Prince: Let us recap on all the evil we have done
Hiss: Much to the sorrow of your mother
Prince: Mommy! (Sucks thumb…)
Robin H and Lil'J: Cross dressing
Robin H: Look, we can rob the prince!
Lil'J: Wait, we've robbed like three hundred other people and the government, but I am going to draw the line here because my conscience suddenly kicked in.
Robin H: (clicks a pic of Lil'J in the dress) do it or this is going on Facebook
Lil'J: Okay, let's go
Robin H: fortune tellers!
Prince: yea, let's pull over to see what the crazy hobos have to say
Hiss: they could be bandits
Prince: Please, woman can't do anything except make me a sandwich!
Robin and Lil'J: steal rings
Hiss: Hey look they're stealing from you
Prince: Oh shut up, I'm too busy looking at the hot girls
Robin H: Let's have some privacy
Lil'J: Lowers a fishbowl filled with fireflies into the tent, Wow, the royal coach has terrible security
Prince: Must touch shiny thing!
Robin H: (total b$$ slaps him)
Prince: Why you
Robin H: being a total suck-up while stealing money
Lil'J: Ohh, must steal shiny tires!...Must steal from oblivious guards
Guard: check's him out.
Lil'J: (struts that stuff)
Prince: I've been robbed! Robbed!
Hiss: No duh
Prince: Hissy fit I never get anything I want!
Coated in taxes
Roster: Robin was stickin it to the man…Wot Wot!
Sherriff: Tax collection
Auto: I'm not hiding any money in my cast!
Firer: come over here so that he can hear the coins rattle and make it almost impossible to be more obvious.
Sheriff: Really, guys? This is too easy…
Rabbit's home: filled with at least thirty baby rabbits
Robin: How many times did this woman have to go through labor, she must have killed her husband.
Skippy: I got a coin and I'll show it off in front of the sheriff
Sheriff: steals from kid and a blind hobo.
Blind hobo: hi, I'm totally not suspicious even though my tail is sticking out
Skippy: Crying his eyes out…I'm so sad
Blind hobo turns out to be Robin Hood when he raises his glasses
Fan girls: He's so Hawt!
Robin: Wow, how stupid are all of these people?
Robin H: Uses the same voice I use when I talk to my baby-sitting kids. Here, have some stuff. I need good karma with everything I did that this story skips over
In the middle of a field
Kids: let's go shoot an arrow next to the castle
Toby: (turtly enough for the turtle club) don't fire it
Skippy: (fires the arrow into the castle)
Toby: no one ever listens to me
All the kids: Oh, you're screwed
Skippy: Screw you guys, I'm getting that arrow b#s!
Toby: Can't you make another one?
Big sister: Shut up and let the plot line go on!
Skippy: sneaks in
Maid Marian aka M&M(oh wait, eh, I'll leave it): I'm introducing myself in the story what about you lady cluck?
Lady K: I'll introduce myself
Skippy: must get arrow
M&M: hey, when did we get a midget?
Lady K: No, it's some random kid
Skippy: Oh, I'm gonna die
M&M: Hey you look like my old lover (cynical smile)…let's play a game
Little bunny: sneezes
M&M: They can play too.
Toby: hehe she's purdy
Skippy: drags girl behind the bushes
M&M: kiss me midget
Skippy: Ahhh! Someone help me!
Other kids: Hahahahahahaha
In M&M's room
Robin: does she have hair?
M&M: (opens to a mini shrine of his picture) What if Robin forgot about me?
Lady K: No one forgets a night in Vegas, they just don't mention it
Robin H: (burning food)
Lil'J: (Becoming more like a girl by wearing an apron and hanging laundry)
Robin H: (goo goo eyes in deep space)
Lil'J: Stop burning my food and drag your romantic fantasies elsewhere!
Robin H: Hey, I love her
Lil'J: Yea, a night in Vegas can do that
Robin H: my poor self confidence keeps me from proposing to her
Firer: (Must have some sort of GPS to be able to find their hideout faster than the guards) Nah, she digs you, you moron!
Robin H: How did you get here?
Firer: I'm here to set up the next plot scene. There will be an archery tournament and M&M will be there and gives a lap dance to the winner
Robin: I thought prostitution was illegal back then
Robin H: M&M! I'll risk my life in order to get one pathetic kiss from her.
Robin H: Oh please…What could possibly go wrong?
Robin: so much
Music: is epic
Prince: cynical plot
Hiss: Kissing his ass
Prince: don't sit higher than me!
Hiss: Let us recap our cynical plots
Price: Let me hit you
Hiss: Abuse! Abuse!
Robin: he doesn't get paid enough
Another part of contest
M&M: Do you think Robin will be here?
Lady K: Of course, we just walked right past him
Robin H: She's hawt, must… follow
Lil'J: Time to kiss up to the prince and give myself a jazz accent in these ill fitting pink clothes
Prince: You're hawt
Lil'J: Nice to meet you PJ
Prince: totally oblivious that PJ is not a good thing
Hiss: No one steals my crush from me!
Lil'J: Don't stick your tongue out at me, kid
Price: sit next to me
Hiss: can't breath, being crushed by huge butt!
Lil'J: beat it!
Hiss: I'll get you an application to Jenny Creg on my way back
Hiss: stalks everyone
Robin H: openly flirts with M&M
M&M: Hi Robin, you're hawt
Archery contest: happens
Robin: It's interesting sheriff that you can't find Robin Hood
Sheriff: I can spot him through those foney disguises
Robin: That little kids is the definition of irony
Kids I babysit: (drool drips down mouths)
Hiss: totally looks up Robin's skirt
Robin H: buddy playboy magazine gets you more pictures for less effort
Hiss: Okay, I'll go subscribe
Roster and Firer: find a random barrel of ale and then put Hiss in it
Alligator (that guy): the scarecrow and the sheriff are the final contestants
Audience: screw you!
Robin H: totally pones the sheriff
Audience: all know it's Robin H and cheer
That guy: whispers evilly
Robin H: I'm totally getting a kiss even though I'm wearing a beak thing
Robin: How on earth was this worth it?
Prince: confronts him
Guards: mafia mob around Robin and tie him up
M&M: I love this guy don't kill him
Prince: Does he love you?
Robin H: No duh you cry baby
Prince: eh, good I get to hurt someone else's feelings in the process
Robin H: Can I have a lawyer?
Executioner: totally bad-ass getup
Prince: Wait! Release Robin Hood!
Lil'J: (Holding a knife to his back)
Price: Can no one notice I'm being pulled back?
Lady K: Respect the Powa!
Prince: Release him!
Robin H and M&M: total cute moment
Sheriff: Hey look there's someone holding my boss hostage
Prince: Kill Robin H
Robin: Everyone else in the crowd that didn't see Lil'J must have thought the prince had bipolar disorder or something
M&M: Robin, I'm a female that needs the support of a man!
Robin: (saves her) will you marry me?
Scooby Doo Chase scene: happens
Random pie moments: happen
That guy: attention, I am calm
Crowd: tramples him
Robin: a moment of silence for that guy. Thank you
Football moment: happens and gives power to fat old women everywhere!
Robin: What, no touchdown dance?
Hiss: I'm totally high
Prince: screw you B#$
Hiss: Abuse! Abuse!
In Sherwood Forest
Romantic montage: happens with Robin H and M&M
In hide out
All the citizens come around: We weren't watching you from behind the bushes
Better country song: happens
Prince: People made a song about me! God this is terrible
Sheriff: You obviously haven't seen Justin's Beaver or Venetian Princess's parodies on YouTube
Prince: throw random people in jail!
Roster: sings most depressing and repetitive song eva
At a church
Firer: let's ring this church bell to mock everyone who's in jail, haha I'm free!
Lil'mouse: but you have no one to abuse
Lil'mouse: here have the last of our savings for the poor people that are left out there
Sheriff: do I detect a small strant of hope?
Firer: don't take it please
Sheriff: too bad
Firer: total badass face
At a gallows
Robin H: Whatch'a doin?
Vultures: we're planning on hanging a Firer and Robin Hood
Vulture 2: shut up! I wish I was an only child
Robin H: bye
Robin H: we're going to do a life threatening thing to break out Firer that might end in an awesome confrontation that changes everyone's lives forever.
Late at night in jail
Robin H and Lil'J: sneak in
Robin H: (bad disguise) lullabies sheriff
Sheriff: what's that in your hand
Robin H: (hides an empty syringe of morphine) Nothing…
Lil'J: goes and saves everyone in the jail
Robin H: hey since we're here let's steal all of the money and add more risk to this.
Jail break: totally happens
Lil'J: everyone grab a bag of money
Robin H: (saves adorable lil' bunny rabbit and gets caught)
Robin: The gate was moving at one mile per hour not even a second ago
Disney Writers: Shut up and watch the movie!
Robin H: totally outsmarts these people
Prince: sets fire to his own house
Robin H: jumps from the top of the building a good five stories down into what was just a shallow lake
Robin: how can he live through that?
Disney writers: just go with it!
Robin H: (dramatic hat scen)…nah I'm alive…haha you lose sucker!
Price: Dang it! Mommy!
Robin: is it just me or is this prince the equivalent of a thirty year old geek that still has mother attachment issues and reads comic books?
Rooster: because it's a Disney movie, everything works out perfectly and the evil people don't die, just get punished.
Robin: boo! I want a shootout behind the castle!
Robin H and M&M: get married (no duh)