(For this I'll refer to myself like I always do but Robin Hood as Robin H)

Robin Hood Parody

Opening: The shortest one I've seen in weeks! They cut straight to the book!

Story book: epically opens!

Roster: Boys and girls, I am a roster that could be from New Orleans, now we are going to give you a G rating of this story because the actual legend involves so many sexual undertones that it's impossible to make it in a Disney movie.

Robin: Thank God they didn't do Romeo and Juliet

Opening Credits: Are back and takes forever!

Robin: Fast Forward!

Rooster: I'm gonna tell you how it is…. Total Robin Hood and Little John bromance! Run for your life suckers! More bromance!

In a tree

Little John: Dude check out your hat

Robin H: (Takes off hat and has total disregard for mortal peril) Wow, that's so cool.

Lil'J: they might hang us you moron

Robin H: Nah, you're too fat

At the parade

Robin H: Why are all of these guys wearing pink and purple?

Prince John: Aha…twitch…aha…taxes…twitch…

Hiss: Yes Sire, you're awesome Sire, have my kids Sire

Prince John: What?

Hiss: Nothing

Prince: Let us recap on all the evil we have done

Hiss: Much to the sorrow of your mother

Prince: Mommy! (Sucks thumb…)

Robin H and Lil'J: Cross dressing

Robin H: Look, we can rob the prince!

Lil'J: Wait, we've robbed like three hundred other people and the government, but I am going to draw the line here because my conscience suddenly kicked in.

Robin H: (clicks a pic of Lil'J in the dress) do it or this is going on Facebook

Lil'J: Okay, let's go

Robin H: fortune tellers!

Prince: yea, let's pull over to see what the crazy hobos have to say

Hiss: they could be bandits

Prince: Please, woman can't do anything except make me a sandwich!

Robin and Lil'J: steal rings

Hiss: Hey look they're stealing from you

Prince: Oh shut up, I'm too busy looking at the hot girls

Robin H: Let's have some privacy

Lil'J: Lowers a fishbowl filled with fireflies into the tent, Wow, the royal coach has terrible security

Prince: Must touch shiny thing!

Robin H: (total b$$ slaps him)

Prince: Why you

Robin H: being a total suck-up while stealing money

Lil'J: Ohh, must steal shiny tires!...Must steal from oblivious guards

Guard: check's him out.

Lil'J: (struts that stuff)

Prince: I've been robbed! Robbed!

Hiss: No duh

Cart: smashes

Guards: oblivious

Prince: Hissy fit I never get anything I want!

In town

Coated in taxes

Roster: Robin was stickin it to the man…Wot Wot!

Sherriff: Tax collection

Auto: I'm not hiding any money in my cast!

Firer: come over here so that he can hear the coins rattle and make it almost impossible to be more obvious.

Sheriff: Really, guys? This is too easy…

Rabbit's home: filled with at least thirty baby rabbits

Robin: How many times did this woman have to go through labor, she must have killed her husband.

Skippy: I got a coin and I'll show it off in front of the sheriff

Sheriff: steals from kid and a blind hobo.

Blind hobo: hi, I'm totally not suspicious even though my tail is sticking out

Sheriff: bye

Skippy: Crying his eyes out…I'm so sad

Blind hobo turns out to be Robin Hood when he raises his glasses

Fan girls: He's so Hawt!

Robin: Wow, how stupid are all of these people?

Robin H: Uses the same voice I use when I talk to my baby-sitting kids. Here, have some stuff. I need good karma with everything I did that this story skips over

In the middle of a field

Kids: let's go shoot an arrow next to the castle

Toby: (turtly enough for the turtle club) don't fire it

Skippy: (fires the arrow into the castle)

Toby: no one ever listens to me

All the kids: Oh, you're screwed

Skippy: Screw you guys, I'm getting that arrow b#s!

Toby: Can't you make another one?

Big sister: Shut up and let the plot line go on!

Skippy: sneaks in

Maid Marian aka M&M(oh wait, eh, I'll leave it): I'm introducing myself in the story what about you lady cluck?

Lady K: I'll introduce myself

Skippy: must get arrow

M&M: hey, when did we get a midget?

Lady K: No, it's some random kid

Skippy: Oh, I'm gonna die

M&M: Hey you look like my old lover (cynical smile)…let's play a game

Little bunny: sneezes

M&M: They can play too.

Toby: hehe she's purdy

Skippy: drags girl behind the bushes

M&M: kiss me midget

Skippy: Ahhh! Someone help me!

Other kids: Hahahahahahaha

In M&M's room

M&M: Dances

Robin: does she have hair?

M&M: (opens to a mini shrine of his picture) What if Robin forgot about me?

Lady K: No one forgets a night in Vegas, they just don't mention it

In camp

Robin H: (burning food)

Lil'J: (Becoming more like a girl by wearing an apron and hanging laundry)

Robin H: (goo goo eyes in deep space)

Lil'J: Stop burning my food and drag your romantic fantasies elsewhere!

Robin H: Hey, I love her

Lil'J: Yea, a night in Vegas can do that

Robin H: my poor self confidence keeps me from proposing to her

Firer: (Must have some sort of GPS to be able to find their hideout faster than the guards) Nah, she digs you, you moron!

Robin H: How did you get here?

Firer: I'm here to set up the next plot scene. There will be an archery tournament and M&M will be there and gives a lap dance to the winner

Robin: I thought prostitution was illegal back then

Robin H: M&M! I'll risk my life in order to get one pathetic kiss from her.

Lil'J: Rob-

Robin H: Oh please…What could possibly go wrong?

Robin: so much

Archery contest

Music: is epic

Prince: cynical plot

Hiss: Kissing his ass

Prince: don't sit higher than me!

Hiss: Let us recap our cynical plots

Price: Let me hit you

Hiss: Abuse! Abuse!

Robin: he doesn't get paid enough

Another part of contest

M&M: Do you think Robin will be here?

Lady K: Of course, we just walked right past him

Robin H: She's hawt, must… follow

Lil'J: Time to kiss up to the prince and give myself a jazz accent in these ill fitting pink clothes

Prince: You're hawt

Lil'J: Nice to meet you PJ

Prince: totally oblivious that PJ is not a good thing

Hiss: No one steals my crush from me!

Lil'J: Don't stick your tongue out at me, kid

Price: sit next to me

Hiss: can't breath, being crushed by huge butt!

Lil'J: beat it!

Hiss: I'll get you an application to Jenny Creg on my way back

In camp

Hiss: stalks everyone

Robin H: openly flirts with M&M

M&M: Hi Robin, you're hawt

Archery contest: happens

Robin: It's interesting sheriff that you can't find Robin Hood

Sheriff: I can spot him through those foney disguises

Robin: That little kids is the definition of irony

Kids I babysit: (drool drips down mouths)

Hiss: totally looks up Robin's skirt

Robin H: buddy playboy magazine gets you more pictures for less effort

Hiss: Okay, I'll go subscribe

Roster and Firer: find a random barrel of ale and then put Hiss in it

At competition

Alligator (that guy): the scarecrow and the sheriff are the final contestants

Sheriff: cheats

Audience: screw you!

Robin H: totally pones the sheriff

Audience: all know it's Robin H and cheer

That guy: whispers evilly

Robin H: I'm totally getting a kiss even though I'm wearing a beak thing

Robin: How on earth was this worth it?

Prince: confronts him

Guards: mafia mob around Robin and tie him up

M&M: I love this guy don't kill him

Prince: Does he love you?

Robin H: No duh you cry baby

Prince: eh, good I get to hurt someone else's feelings in the process

Robin H: Can I have a lawyer?

Prince: No

Executioner: totally bad-ass getup

Prince: Wait! Release Robin Hood!

Lil'J: (Holding a knife to his back)

Price: Can no one notice I'm being pulled back?

Lady K: Respect the Powa!

Prince: Release him!

Robin H and M&M: total cute moment

Sheriff: Hey look there's someone holding my boss hostage

Prince: Kill Robin H

Robin: Everyone else in the crowd that didn't see Lil'J must have thought the prince had bipolar disorder or something

Fight: happens

M&M: Robin, I'm a female that needs the support of a man!

Robin: (saves her) will you marry me?

Scooby Doo Chase scene: happens

Random pie moments: happen

That guy: attention, I am calm

Crowd: tramples him

Robin: a moment of silence for that guy. Thank you

Football moment: happens and gives power to fat old women everywhere!

Robin: What, no touchdown dance?

Hiss: I'm totally high

Prince: screw you B#$

Hiss: Abuse! Abuse!

In Sherwood Forest

Romantic montage: happens with Robin H and M&M

In hide out

All the citizens come around: We weren't watching you from behind the bushes

Better country song: happens

At kingdom

Prince: People made a song about me! God this is terrible

Sheriff: You obviously haven't seen Justin's Beaver or Venetian Princess's parodies on YouTube

Prince: throw random people in jail!

In Jail

Roster: sings most depressing and repetitive song eva

At a church

Firer: let's ring this church bell to mock everyone who's in jail, haha I'm free!

Lil'mouse: but you have no one to abuse

Firer: Sad

Lil'mouse: here have the last of our savings for the poor people that are left out there

Sheriff: do I detect a small strant of hope?

Firer: don't take it please

Sheriff: too bad

Firer: total badass face

Fight: happens

Firer: arrested

At a gallows

Robin H: Whatch'a doin?

Vultures: we're planning on hanging a Firer and Robin Hood

Vulture 2: shut up! I wish I was an only child

Robin H: bye

Lil'J: so?

Robin H: we're going to do a life threatening thing to break out Firer that might end in an awesome confrontation that changes everyone's lives forever.

Late at night in jail

Robin H and Lil'J: sneak in

Robin H: (bad disguise) lullabies sheriff

Sheriff: what's that in your hand

Robin H: (hides an empty syringe of morphine) Nothing…

Lil'J: goes and saves everyone in the jail

Robin H: hey since we're here let's steal all of the money and add more risk to this.

Jail break: totally happens

Lil'J: everyone grab a bag of money

Robin H: (saves adorable lil' bunny rabbit and gets caught)

Robin: The gate was moving at one mile per hour not even a second ago

Disney Writers: Shut up and watch the movie!

Robin H: totally outsmarts these people

Prince: sets fire to his own house

Robin H: jumps from the top of the building a good five stories down into what was just a shallow lake

Robin: how can he live through that?

Disney writers: just go with it!

Robin H: (dramatic hat scen)…nah I'm alive…haha you lose sucker!

Price: Dang it! Mommy!

Robin: is it just me or is this prince the equivalent of a thirty year old geek that still has mother attachment issues and reads comic books?

Rooster: because it's a Disney movie, everything works out perfectly and the evil people don't die, just get punished.

Robin: boo! I want a shootout behind the castle!

Robin H and M&M: get married (no duh)