PLEASE READ
I know I suck at multi-chapters. believe me, I know so well. I'm crap at it 'cause as soon as I get another idea I have to try it and the old ones are forgotten.
But this ones special. I mean, it's gotta be if I've worked on it six hours straight (my God, that sounds sad, but that's the truth).
Of course, that means I've been working on the chapters! I'm not so slow that 500 words take me THAT long.
Anyways, here's another attempt from me. I'm looking for feedback, guys. I was gonna finish it before I started posting, just to make sure I'd finish it before showing you anything (crazy, I know) but you know what? I want to know what you think. If you'd even want more. So... review. I love it when you do, you know?
If anyone notices, then yes, the style is based off BLADE by... that guy. Ugh. I'll remember later. It's quarter past midnight. Sue me.
Also, the summary is Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. I know that. I guess it's copyright so no, I don't own.


Preface


Night time. Dead time. Now the rot of the world comes out to play. Suits me just fine, sitting here in the sky, on this cold hard roof, trying not to feel. Straight back. Eyes closed. Can't bear to look this time. Don't want to see her anymore, Blueyes, but she's right there on my eyelids, on my mind. And I find myself looking. Can't bear to see out, can't bear to see in. Where do you go from there? I'll watch her dance for a while and keep on waiting.

Yeah, Blueyes, I don't know either. I don't know what for or why. A miracle, perhaps. A fantasy. But those kinds of things don't happen in real life. Life is the sick reality of someone else's nightmare. Its raw mankind and the worst of us can't take it. I want out, Blueyes. You know I do.

Yet… I'm seeing white. Blue. Blue blue eyes. Twin glaziers of ice locked in the frozen bonds of her bloodless face. And they're beautifully sad, Blueyes, because she knew it just like everyone else now knows it too. She knew my secret. The one truth I guarded so close in my heart and she took it and cracked me wide. She spread it out, smearing the blood over a timespan of God knows how long and I won't forget it. You know I won't. Her betrayal stings like a bullet to the bone, and we both know I know how that feels.

I thought she was genuine, but I guess she's just like the rest. They always are. And you know what, Blueyes? I'm hurting so much over it. She cut me deep, that one. I'm still wondering why. Could be something to do with being desperate for kindness. So vulnerable in my need for a kind word, a kind touch. And the way she looked at me, Blueyes, when she still loved me...
Some shadow of love, I know, but still there and as strong as shades of grey can be in this black and white world. You never felt that one time she touched my cheek, how good it felt. Safe in the belief she cared. Or maybe hope. Big on hope, Blueyes. You know me.

Open my eyes. Look at the sky. No stars tonight. Just dark. Oblivion. Nothing there. That's me, Blueyes. I'm empty too. Blank as a fresh canvas. Maybe mine should have been just this. Black black black for my heart.

Hope, not belief. I'm deciding this now. I guess I always knew. No hope left. Just the dream of it, somewhere far far away. The moon smiles at me, sends me a breath of wind. Blows me a kiss. I think about catching it, but I don't want the moon's kiss. I'm not happy; red eyes, but I'll do this. Already wasted enough tears to drop like rain. Make myself blank. Make myself forget. Don't feel. Don't feel a thing. You already knew she wouldn't come.

Yeah, Blueyes. I think it's time.