A Space-Time Ninjutsu Mess

Set midway through the Kazekage Rescue Arc of Naruto Shippuden.

Disclaimer: I do not in anyway shape or form own Naruto Shippuden, or anything unique to it. The show and manga are owned by Kishimoto-Massashi. I think I do own Namikaze Naruto though, or at least the one in this fiction since as of yet Naruto hasn't changed his name in the manga.

Hoshigaki Kisame was a man who was used to all things strange. He did after all carry a sentient weapon, look like a living walking shark, and was partnered to Uchiha Itachi. The last one alone was something he didn't find so strange however. Despite that, and being an S-Rank Missing-Nin of Kirigakure, there were some moments when even he was found something that was weird even to him. He cited the large and creepy eyebrows that a certain ninja from Konohagakure had on his forehead as a clear example.

While few things could possibly rival that encounter in all fairness, Kisame believed he had found one. Standing on the desert plains of Kaze No Kuni the Swordsman from Kiri found himself blinking several times to make sure his vision was not being clouded. The Swordsman detested the unbearably hot and dry climate and absolutely loathed the occasional mirage he had come across. After blinking a final time Kisame was certain of one thing…

"Yo, Kisame mind explaining to me why we're in the middle of a desert? And where is your hot and sexy partner?"

…There just had to be something wrong with the person standing before him. Kisame would have continued to stare at the figure were it not for the last question he had been asked. Uchiha Itachi, his certainly male partner, having been called 'hot and sexy' by a random man made his mind freeze up in shock.

"My 'hot and sexy partner' you say?" Asked the Swordsman as he looked down into a pair of bright blue eyes that were fairly familiar to him.

"Yeah. Jeez, Kisame you going deaf man? Oh wait I get it!" A finger was raised up to him as the man put on an arrogant and knowing smirk. "Your mind is still kind messed up after listening in on us that night at hotel in Nami no Kuni right? Can't blame you though old buddy. Your partner may seem like a willing mute at first glance, but as you heard that night, behind that wall of solid self control is a screamer. Come to think about it, I'm surprised that I still have perfect hearing after that night. Huh, good times eh?"

Kisame's blue skin seemed to turn a lighter shade as he suddenly felt ill. While he certainly would have remembered anytime Itachi got laid, the mental picture that found its way to him was most disturbing. As he shook away the disgusting thoughts from his mind, the Kiri Swordsman looked down again and found the man nodding his head up and down sagely with both eyes closed.

"Don't worry my friend, don't you go worry at all. I remember that discussion we had. I still haven't put that particular encounter into any form of literature yet. And I won't until the day you die." The nodding stopped as the man glared daggers at Kisame who looked even more confused. "But really, chasing me with Samehada out of that hotel seconds after we finished up and not giving me time to put something on? I mean I know your very loyal to your partner and all, but was any of that actually necessary? A simple attempt at the whole overprotective brother speech wouldn't have worked as well for you?"

"Pal, I know I should probably be one of the last people to say this but…Are you some kind of crazy?" Kisame deadpanned as the man finished. Surprisingly he soon dropped the glare and took on an exaggerated thinking pose; one arm draped across his chest while the other's hand cupped his chin and his eyes looking up to the sky.

"Now that you mention it? Yeah, more or less. I'm fairly certain that I am at least partially insane. Why do you ask?"

"…You are aware that my partner, to my knowledge at least, prefers women to men right?"

"Really? Oh, that just made all the sex even better!" The man suddenly took out a notepad and red pen from nowhere. "Now lets see how can turn that into literacy gold? Oh, how about, 'the audacious male lead discovers weeks after their passionate encounter that his most recent lover secretly preferred the comforts of supple female flesh', wait a minute. I still can't write this stuff down cause of you. You just had to go and reveal a tidbit of potential brilliance to me that I can't use, didn't you Kisame? That is just like you. Some biggest fan you are!"

"Who are you!" Exclaimed a somewhat freaked Legendary Swordsman of the Mist At that point Kisame actually felt that this man was easily weirder than the man with abnormally large eyebrows. The fact that the person was convinced that they knew each other had no effect however.

"Riiiiight." Drawled the man before morphing his face into one of disappointed frustration. "You don't know me? Fine I'll humor you. I am the author of the greatest series of romance novels the Elemental Nations has ever known; I am known by all my loyal readers as the heir to the Perverted Master himself, I am Kazuma Arashi!"

"…You know Jiraiya of the Sannin?" Kisame slowly asked.

"YES! I am without a doubt in my mind, his chosen successor to the Perverted Arts!"

"Okay then. I think I'll just get moving again and pretend I never had this disturbing conversation. This has to be some kind of detailed mirage that I am going to hate myself for talking to." With that Kisame turned and walked around the confusing figment of his imagination which had plainly walked up to him and mentally disturbed him.

"Oi! Kisame! Where are you going?" Shouted out Arashi.

"To make a mess out of some group of ninja's day."

"Can I stay and watch?"


"You always make fights entertaining."

"Fine, but if you get involved in it you better-"

"I get it. Quote, 'I better know how lucky I am' now unquote. This isn't the first time I've seen you fight someone you know."

"Sure it isn't." Kisame said as he found a place to wait out the Konoha team arrival, before he muttered something under his breath. "Stupid desert and its detailed mirage lies."

Namikaze Naruto leisurely walked away from his old friend with his arms still in his practiced thinking pose. He was curious about Kisame's seemingly genuine lack of recognition upon speaking with him. Usually when he and the Kiri Shinobi crossed paths one of the first things asked was whether or not Naruto had a new book on hand. That lack of a traditional question prompted Naruto to use the pen name that he used to write his novels.

Even after identifying himself as Arashi Kazuma there had been no recognition in his friend's eyes. Worse, there hadn't even been the regular kouhai honorific his one time teacher usually added to his name. The only sliver of their connection that he could gleam was when Kisame first locked eyes with him. Even then, all he could see was the faintest sort of having met perhaps once before in the Swordsman's gaze. That was disturbing thought, almost as much as waking up in a desert. And just as bad as seeing Kisame without the ever lovely and dangerous Uchiha Itari.

The former heir to the short-lived Namikaze Clan failed to suppress a perverted giggle as he thought of the Sharingan wielding woman. His oldest friend and teammate, first crush, one time fiancé, and the best woman he had ever had the pleasure of sleeping with. And their last night togetherstill remained burned into his memory. He loved the fact that neither of them ever let themselves get drunk. Being drunk always fogged up memories, according to Ero-Sennin.

"Oi, what is up with the giggling Arashi?" Called Kisame from where he had turned his back on the blue skinned Swordsman.

"Having awesome crazy sex with your hot partner in a hotel shower is too much of a great memory for me not to Kisame-senpai!" Naruto said as he looked over his shoulder. For whatever reason the blue man's skin seemed to pale upon hearing that and he held the short lasting stare with the Namikaze for a mere second before then turning to look in another direction. Curiously he also brought his hand up to what Naruto assumed was his mouth.

Huh, I didn't know Kisame could change his color so fast. Still cool how he loses instead of gains color when I mention banging Itari to him. Makes it all the more unique when compared to Sasuke's response when I first told him his big sister was just as great in bed as she is with everything else she does. And definitely better than when their dad fainted after he walked in on us. Man that was a great way to end the celebration for me making ANBU Captain.

It probably was for the best that Itari was not with Kisame at the moment. After all it had been over a year since their last encounter. And considering he didn't have a bloodline to make a wooden house like some people, there would be a place for them to get reacquainted with each others bodies. Unless she had some secret fantasy to have sex in the open desert that she had yet to tell him, at least that is. Note to self; file that last though away for my next book. It has potential. Wouldn't you agree Kyu-

Naruto abruptly stopped walking as soon as the thought did. The Kyubi no Kitsune, the Nine Tailed Fox and most powerful of the living Biju. The Demon that had been sealed within him on his mothers' death bed at age seven, and only rediscovered three years ago when he had first began searching for the memories he had lost. Memories that were lost as Orochimaru had forced him to forget much once the Sannin had finished experimenting upon him. Surprisingly the memory of being the Jinchuriki for the Nine-Tails had been hidden away deep inside his mind after the trauma he sustained from the forced tranformation into the Demon form itself.

The very same creature, whose mindless body was now slowly coming apart within him, that was slowly killing him despite being all but dead itself. Even now he could feel the traces of demonic chakra beginning to poison the cells in his body and his own chakra supplies. The seal which had held the Fox for so many years constantly now caused a burning pain that spread over his entire body. And worse; what was left of the Fox's power was at most only about five and a half tails of chakra left. An amount that was decreasing at a consistent rate that could not be slowed down by any means.

He supposed that in many ways he was quite fortunate for a Jinchuriki. He was the last surviving one after all, and if not for his Akatsuki allies would have been just as dead as the other eight. His only wish was that there had been a better way to stop the extraction of the Kyubi from his body. Unfortunately the only way had been to actually cut the chakra transfer after the extraction process had already begun. The result had been Naruto surviving, but the Kyubi's mind being destroyed as well and leaving a vegetative body behind. Considering that a Biju was a mass of sentient chakra for all intents and purposes the only thing keeping their bodies together was their consciousness. Meaning that without one it was inevitable that the remaining chakra within his body would either be released upon his death and bring a new weaker Fox into existence, or slowly poison him.

Regrettably it had been the later that had occurred. As he slowly walked up a fairly tall rock formation Naruto realized that for the first time since being captured he could actually think on his situation. Aiding his Akatsuki rescuers battle the army of ninja Uchiha Madara had under his command, and then the man himself at the same time was a test of his skill and determination to survive.

Naruto knew that he barely survived that battle with the living legend two days prior. If he hadn't been able to combine two separate Space-Time Ninjutsu to make that impromptu trap at the end, the Namikaze had no doubts as to who would have been the victor. Uchiha Madara was far above him in every way imaginable; excluding perversion that is. Even with the surprise arrival of Itari on his side hadn't evened out the difference in skill.

As he reached the top of the formation Naruto dropped backfirst onto the rocky surface. A relieved sigh escaped him as he allowed the bliss he felt from simply laying there to overcome his senses. The rock was at a nice temperature considering its location; meaning that it was hot but not enough to slowly boil his skin if he did not move for long periods of time. There was even a faint breeze that tickled his skin and pulled at his dirty blonde hair.

That reminds me, the Namikaze thought ruefully, I need a shower right away. Not to mention a nice change of clothes to go. Stupid Space-Time Ninjutsu mess, making my clothes even worse than they were just fighting Madara.

Naruto raised his head and looked down at his now near ruined outfit. The red trench coat he often wore was missing, lost in the fight before he had been captured by Madara's forces. The black, Suna influenced, flack jacket he wore beneath it was shredded to the point where it only covered a small fraction of his body and was now useless. The black shinobi pants he wore had somehow remained intact for the most part. The right pants leg was missing below the knee and the painted red foxes on the sides of both legs were covered in enough dirt and sand that they were nearly invisible.

The bandages he had wrapped around both forearms had been removed after they both caught traces of the black flame that had nearly burned him alive. The black fingerless gloves he wore on each hand were still in place and in reasonably good condition. Both of his blue shinobi sandals were much the same as well. The thin, but lightweight metal, Hotoke Do he wore under the flack jacket was covered in hundreds of scratches and burns from his recent battles. There was even a dent, at the center of a large series of cracks, from where the Uchiha clan founder had managed to deliver a powerful kick that knocked him to the ground and nearly ended their fight then and there.

The leather Menpo face mask he wore was in the best shape of all. The only reason it was in such fine condition was that he had only put it on after waking up in the desert earlier yesterday. Slowly he reached down beneath his chest armor and pulled out a black ribbon. After he had a better grip on the black fabric Naruto pulled out what it was attached to; his old Konoha shinobi Hitaie. The metal was rusted and covered in small nicks over its entire surface. Two prominent lines crossed over the leaf symbol in the center. One from when he had left his village for good, and the other from when Itari had first found him after that.

Not even fighting Madara had the same level of fear as seeing the look of anger on Itari's face for the first time.

With a noticeable reluctance to get up, the last living Namikaze stood up and pulled out a scroll. Pausing for a moment the blonde reached down and picked up a pebble. He then promptly threw the small stone at the resting Swordsman who had his eyes focused on the bandaged sword. The pebble landed at his feet and caused him to look up at Naruto with a questioning look. Naruto then made turn around gesture before pointing first at his ruined appearance, then at the scroll, and finally made a show pretending to get dressed. Kisame made a disgusted sound before turning his head to avoid seeing the curious man change.

Satisfied with his response, Naruto quickly placed the scroll down before flattening it out. After making sure there were no creases in the paper he then raised his left thumb to his mouth and bit down. The Namikaze then lowered his bleeding thumb to the scroll before swiping it across the seals. Immediately the scroll burst into smoke and he slowly stood up. Before the smoke had fully dissipated he had already removed his pants, the remains of his flak jacket, his face mask, and blue sandals. When the smoke was gone and revealed his new clothes Naruto was only wearing a somewhat old and worn black Konoha Shinobi uniform with a faded red swirl on both sleeves.

The Namikaze gazed at the crisp and clean clothes, perfectly folded before him. His fathers' old clothes, the ones he preferred to wear as much as possible instead of the Hokage robes. Naruto had always felt attached to chosen attire of his father; which consisted of a standard Konoha-nin uniform, including the iconic two bands of both sleeves, and a Jonin flak jacket. The white short-sleeved trench coat that was worn over his normal attire after being elected Hokage. The coat also had the flame-like designs on the edges that had always fascinated him, along with the kanji meaning 'the fourth fire-shadow' written down the back.

For some reason or another, many of which he made himself, the Namikaze had never felt like he was ready to wear them. Naruto smiled down faintly as he thought of his late father and hero before looking up into the clear and open blue sky. His mind wandered to the questions that had never left his thoughts for long since he left his village six years earlier.

I bet dad never saw me becoming a Missing-Nin coming. Wonder what he'd have thought about that? Mom would probably have told me to make my own choices no matter where they led. Dad though…Would you be disappointed in me father? I've had to kill Shinobi and Kunoichi from our village sent to hunt me. I almost killed Kakashi-Aniki the last time we met.

Naruto shook his vigorously to stop himself from feeling depressed and begin to doubt himself. One of the earliest things he had learned was that those who doubted themselves, tended to be the ones who never got to get off the ground after they landed. Looking back at the clothes, he felt the urge to put them on for the first time. Crouching down he picked up his fathers Joninflack jacket and slipped it on first. After zipping up the jacket he then picked up the white coat slowly. Unfolding it Naruto held it before him and looked the kanji written on the back. He lovingly moved his fingers over them as memories of the time he had spent with his father came to the forefront of his mind.

The pain of his loss still felt fresh to the twenty-two, almost twenty-three, year old man. Namikaze Minato, the Yondaime Hokage, and Konohagakure's Yellow Flash, was murdered the same day Naruto had become ANBU Captain on his fifteenth birthday. Just hours after he had walked in on his newly promoted son, and soon to be daughter-in-law share their first real kiss. His father had laughed warmly before embracing his 'fully grown fishcake', kissed Itari on the forehead, and then pulled them both into a final picture with him. Soon after Orochimaru had lured him into a trap where Naruto was captured and became one of the Sannin's many experiments. A year later during the escape of the damned Snake a crazed, Naruto admitted he had grown somewhat insane over that year, Namikaze left the village soon after. But not before he broke into his father's memorial and took the clothes and scrolls from the family vault.

A single tear fell down his cheek before landing on the stone below.

Without even making an attempt to wipe the tear streak away, Naruto reverently put his arms through the sleeves and then tied the small orange rope on the front to secure the white coat. Picking up the four bands Naruto soon moved two of Minato's bands onto each of his sleeves. Lastly were the blue shinobi pants and pair of black sandals; each made of the same design as those worn by his father. After putting these on the Namikaze placed the ends of the pant legs into the sandals before wrapping them under some spare bandages in the scroll. After straightening back up he realized that one thing was still missing.

Sighing he picked up the headband from where he had left it. The Namikaze then pulled his hair up slightly before slowly tying the headband onto his forehead. Letting his hair down he pulled out a kunai to take in his appearance. To his joy Naruto looked almost exactly like how his father did, years ago. The only difference he could see was that his father had jaw length bangs on both sides of his face, while Naruto's own were uneven after having them cut by a stray shuriken. In addition he also had the fading whisker marks that had appeared when the Kyubi was first sealed within him. A pity really, women thought those marks were cute. Deciding to fix what he could, Naruto used the kunai he had been using to reflect his image to cut off what was left of his own jaw bangs. They would grow back soon enought to their proper length, and then he could be mistaken for a clone of his father. Putting back the kunai in the flack jacket he then dropped back down on his back, arms and legs spread out. He started to blow on some of his blonde bangs which fell down over his eyes. It was as he closed his eyes that Naruto felt the familiar feeling of boredom creeping over him.

"Kisame!" The blonde called out lethargically.

"What!" Was the reply from the feared Kiri Swordsman. The Missing-Nin had chosen to wait for the team from Konoha by leaning against a large rock with his precious sword resting on his lap. His head was propped by a single hand as he sat bored as well.

"I'm bored over here! When are those ninja you mentioned going to be here?"

"Sometime soon I hope. I'm getting bored here as well."

"Do you have a bingo book on you by any chance?" Asked Naruto randomly.

"Why do want one?" Kisame asked more to pass the time than out of curiosity. Aside from shark fin soup, the one thing Kisame hated more than anything was waiting for a fight to come his way. He much more preferred going out and finding one himself.

"I want to see who made S-Rank recently. Maybe I'm on their now. Who cares? Do you have one or not?" Naruto said in response along with an underlying amount of a whine in his voice.

"Actually I do kid. Not the most recent thought, this one came out about two months ago." Kisame finally answered the original question. Suddenly a feral grin crossed his shark like features as a thought crossed his mind. There happened to be a picture of Itachi in the bingo book he was about to toss over. Considering what the curious person had said of his stoic partner, Kisame wanted to see what kind of reaction seeing that picture would get.

The S-Rank criminal calmly stood up to his full height before reaching into his Akatsuki cloak. His hand found the lightweight book easily enough and soon pulled it out. His predatory eyes located where the curious Arashi had gone to before cocking back the arm with the book. Once he had found the blonde with the mildly familiar blue eyes, Kisame launched the book without warning.

Naruto not hearing a response began lifting his head up as he heard something cutting the air as it moved. Looking around he saw the incoming bingo book fast approaching. Blue eyes widening in surprise Naruto shouted a single word before being struck in the face.


As the sound of paper smacking flesh rolled over his ears Kisame barked out a guttural laugh as he heard the man begin cursing him under his breath. For whatever reason, there was something about the Arashi that interested the blue skinned man. Some part of him hoped that the man was some unknown quantity with S-Rank skills that had gone unnoticed for whatever reason. If so then perhaps the interesting blonde could be a potential candidate for Akatsuki if one of the current members were to meet an untimely end.

"Oi, Arashi!"

"What is it?"

"You interested in joining the Akatsuki?"

"Been there, done that, had a blast, met fine women, and learned a lot."

"…Say what?"

"Since when is Zabuza down to a lowly B-Rank status?" The Namikaze asked at the same time. "Last time I saw him he was the Mizukage, what happened there?"

Kisame continued to hear the man ramble about many of the ninja in the book in confused silence. Zabuza? The Mizukage? Arashi a one time member of the Akatsuki? Shaking his head the Swordsman began to accept that there Arashi was not a mirage. Kisame was not dehydrated enough to have his mind seeing something as messed up as that man was.

Turning to face the stone he had been previously resting against Kisame lifted Samehada up and onto his right shoulder. Samehada sensed a nearing source of chakra that tasted odd to its own opinion. A familiar kind of odd chakra.

"Oh, so the green freak with massive eyebrows is one of those coming?" Kisame asked his sentient sword.

"Maito Gai?" Naruto asked as he turned to another page in the bingo book. Some of what the young Namikaze was reading did not seem familiar at all. He didn't recognize half a dozen of the faces that he had seen already, and they were A-Rank or above. That was too many to be included in a two month period without a war going on at the same time.


"You said and I quote" Naruto halted as he tried to copy the voice Kisame had. "'The green freak with massive eyebrows is one of those coming,' unquote. I only know one green freak with those kinds of eyebrows personally. Like I said, Maito Gai."

"So that's his name, ne? Maito Gai. Wonder if he remembers me?" Kisame said thoughtfully.

(Several minutes later, unknown desert in Kaze no Kuni)

"Huh, I recognize some of those guys. Who were they again? The one with the bulging veins around his, Neji I think?" Naruto said before flipping back several pages. "Ah, yeah here he is. Hyuga Neji, bla bla bla, rank Jonin, bla bla bla, master of Hyuga Kekkei Genkai? At his age? Impressive. And the girl is named TenTen; wait wasn't she on Itari's team when she first found me after my exit from the village? And who the heck is that third guy? OK, I know he had to have stolen those eyebrows of his. One guy with those massive things is probably a genetic abnormality, but two? Impossible, got to be stolen somehow."

After just receiving the bingo book the team of Konoha ninja arrived minutes later. Kisame had already shown off his skill with Suition jutsu when he used an underground spring to cover the immediate area in his best element. At the present moment the Konoha forces were each on a seperate rock for each of them. At first glance Naruto gave the victory to Kisame due to his knowledge of the man who helped him learn how to really wield a sword.

With a relaxed movement Naruto turned to a new page with no regard to the opening moves of what he believed would be a short battle. His eyes caught one particular line almost instantaneously. 'Uchiha Clan Massacre', was printed clear legible kanji. The former Namikaze heir's heart thumped in his chest as his blood ran cold. Two months old, that was what Kisame had told him. Perhaps he had been out of it for that amount of time, it was possible given the trauma the attempt to remove the Kyubi caused him.

Two months ago Naruto wasn't very update with the goings of the world either. That was when he was being constantly pursued by ninja under the commando Madara, as well as Konoha hunter-ninja. During that time he had stayed as far from civilization as possible to plan and stayed in his safe houses. Two months could have seen quite a few changes. With that in mind Naruto read quickly, desperate to find anything to sate his worry. The last time he had seen Itari was in their battle against Madara, and if she had been wounded she would have returned to Konoha, maybe even arriving as the massacre first started.

It did not look promising at all. From what the bingo book told, the entire clan had been wiped out save for one. Uchiha Sasuke, Itari's little brother and his would-be future brother-in-law. Naruto felt his heart plummet as it went out to the boy. Sauske couldn't have been more than twelve at present. Still the blonde kept reading and was determined to find out who was responsible. He soon found an answer.

Uchiha Itachi, heir to the Uchiha Clan and ANBU Captain. The elder brother to Uchiha Sasuke.

That was wrong though, it had to be. With his engagement to Itari, who was the real heir, Naruto had been required to know the names of all of his fiancé's fellow clansmen as well as their faces. He had never once heard of, or even seen, this Itachi. But according to the bingo book he was responsible for nearly wiping out the Sharingan, and his own clan. Finally Naruto came across a picture, as well as the man's current status.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Roared the now somewhat enraged Namikaze. He jumped up to his feet and glared down at Kisame's cloaked figure. The Swordsman as well as all four Konoha Nin had turned their heads in his direction upon hearing his voice.

"Yeah?" Was the annoyed reply from the Kiri Swordsman who returned his stare to the Konoha ninja.


"I know that!"

"What the fuck man! That's messed up, your partner is supposed to be Uchiha Itari, not Uchiha Itachi!"

"So you imagined Itachi was some kind of 'hot and sexy' woman when you slept with him ne?"

"Fuck that, don't even joke about that! What the hell happened to me? What happened to the world?"

"Nothing you're just insane Arashi."

"That can't be right!"

"You just thought my partner was a woman and not a man. Who you clearly insinuated that you had sex with, and that I heard you two together. I have never once heard Itachi do anything of the sort, and therefore there is only one real truth here. You are some kind of crazy, maybe not insane, but crazy none the less."

Team Gai continued to watch on as the Akatsuki member they were presently engaged in had some kind of argument with an unknown person. As they located the other person with aid from Neji they all had different thoughts upon laying eyes on him.

It can't be! He looks exactly like Yondaime-sama! Were the thoughts of the Jonin Captain, Maito Gai.

This man, his chakra looks familiar. But I can see something odd being leaked into it from within his body. Regardless, I should tread carefully. His chakra reserves are just as large as Naruto's are. Hyuga Neji, prodigy of one of Konohagakure's most prestigious clans.

It is strange…For whatever reason, I can not help but feel that his Flames of Youth are the same as Naruto-kuns'. Silently thought the Taijutsu specialist, Rock Lee.

"He looks hot." TenTen said out loud as she took in the man's appearance. At the questioning looks from her teammates and sensei the weapons specialist narrowed her eyes slightly and crossed her arms. "What? Just because I take being a kunoichi very seriously I can't act like a normal girl every once in a while?"

"TenTen, he could be an enemy." Warned Neji before he looked to Kisame and this Arashi with looks of equal caution.

"Enemy or ally, it still doesn't make him any less easy on the eyes Neji-kun." TenTen quickly retorted before seeing the strange man look directly at her, his arguing with Kisame seemingly over. His eyes looked her up and down before smirking as they lingered on her chest. Team Gai's sole female member blushed brightly before pulling out a kunai. "I take it back, good looking or not, he has to be a pervert and I hate them."

Vocab: Hotoke Do- The Chest armor worn by members of ANBU Black Ops

Menpo- Basically the face mask Kakashi wears, its a type of armor that is supposed to cover your your nose, lower face, and neck areas.

Please note, The extradimensional Naruto is ex-ANBU. For the most part all of his things were damaged and discarded in his battle against his dimension's Uchiha Madara. And he did not kick Madara's ass, just trapped him. In my opinion, thats a victory, but at the same time not because he could not kill and end his threat. Anyway the ANBU outfit will make a comeback later on.

AN: Hey all. This is my first shot at a Naruto Fan Fiction, and I hope I did a decent job with it. Please leave a review or not, but please more than one word if you can. I don't mind getting single word reviews, but Its kind of hard to keep things awesome if all I have to go on are a bunch of reviews saying "Cool, Nice, Awesome, Liked, Good," etc and no idea what you're all talking about.

For anyone wondering, this and the next chapter will be the only ones where I refer to Namikaze Naruto as Naruto. After the next one he will be known as Arashi Kazuma for the entire fic, except when he happens to be alone and drops the Arashi persona.

Note: He is not some kind of super ninja at all. At his best, which was before he lost the Fox, I'll say he would be on the same level Itachi was at when he died. Right now, he doesn't have the Kyubi inside him anymore and is injured. Even when he fully recovers, he can't get any more powerful that that. He still has quite a few tails worth of power but they will slowly disappear as the story progresses. Trust me, when he loses a full tail you're going to notice it. By the time the tails are all gone I'll say the best he can be is somewhere between Kakashi at his best, and Itachi at death.

His healing factor is also decreased, and I may or may not leave him with it as time goes by considering that its been a part of his body for so long that the healing may be something similar to a pseudo Kekkei Genkai. But it won't be like what the Canon Naruto has, Ex: If he gets stabbed by a chidori through the chest like Naruto did when Sasuke left the village, then it probably won't immediately kill him. But the healing factor won't be able to keep him alive for more than a few minutes without Medical Ninjutsu.

Also, he doesn't have a Summons Contract with the toads. For reasons you'll find out later he can't thanks to what Orochimaru did to him. There's actually two things, but I'm not really sure which I'll reveal first. I like both a lot, and they seem fairly original to me.

Also, pairings. I've got some ideas for some, decided already on others, and open to suggestions. Although I stress one thing. Itari is the Itachi from the dimension this second Naruto is from. There are a lot of things in that Naruto's life that are different from what happened in the Canon Narutoverse. Namikaze Naruto, and Uchiha Itari areengaged. The way I see it, the Namikaze clan is new and small in number. Likely in the other dimension consisting only of Minato, Kushina, and Naruto. Any group commanding a large amount of power, and how much more power can you get than being Hokage and his family, inevitably wants to stabilize their position. And the Uchiha, as the set in stone police force is perhaps the most stable group in Konoha. Better still, loyalty in the Uchiha clan is more to the village first than say the Clan head like in the Hyuga. Hook up the Namikaze heir with the Uchiha heir, and you've got a good chance of keeping the lineage alive and loyal at the same time.

And it doesn't hurt that Naruto would be related to the Senju clan distantly, it allows for a double bonus in that it shows that the Uchiha truly accept the Senju and to bury the hatchet permanently. And unless I'm mistaken, aren't Uzumaki's supposed to have a longer lifespan as well? Meaning any children born from Naruto and Itari would live for a good while and keep a good amount of influence. Influence that could benefit the needs of his/her mother clan in the future against say the Hyuga understand?

While this alternate Naruto may be a flirt, the Second 'Super Pervert', and utterly shameless, he does love Itari. So there won't be anything for him for a good while, if at all in this story. But regardless, he will be revealed as the last Namikaze and will be open for the CRA. Me using that for him in the story is highly unlikely, but a possibility depending on where I eventually steer this towards.

And it also depends on whether or not I bring Itari into the story at some point. And that is something I might just do, I mean c'mon. She is the female version of Itachi, if you paid attention became an ANBU Captain before Naruto. Ergo, she is as much a genius and prodigy as the canon Itachi, and she hasn't killed off her clan and openly showed off the care for her little brother.

So, not only would she be as good as Itachi more or less (No Mangekyo for her, because her best friend would be Naruto), she would actively try and bring Sasuke back to the village. Possibly even help him kill off her male self. Dunno yet.

Naruto N, is also going to be different from Naruto U, in many ways. But there going to be similar in a lot of ways. Here are just a few:

Similar Different

1. Both love ramen 1. N likes red/black, U likes Orange

2. Both want to be Hokage 2. N to follow his Dad, U to protect

3. They call Jiraiya Ero-Sennin 3. N like Jiraiya's nephew, U is legally Jiraiya's Godson

4. Both fell for their female teammate 4. N slept with his crush, U is still trying to get a date

That's just a few. There way more to be discovered. Oh, and by Jiraiya's successor I mean it. He has his own adult romance novel series that's just as successful. I fully intend to put that into the story just for the inevitable confrontation between the self-proclaimed Super Pervert, and the Second Super Pervert.

I think I should be able to update this thing every two-three days for the next week at least. I already started on two more chapters besides this one. After that updates are going to be up in the air. I'll try and keep them coming at a consistent rate. In addition, every fifth chapter will be a QA chapter. Any questions left in reviews that I can answer without spoiling the story, I will answer. Every fourth chapter, I'll wait two days before putting up the QA chapter. No later than that, and PM questions don't count. It has to be in the reviews.

One last little thing. While this is the canon Naruto world, its not 100% canon. For example, and don't ask when, Zabuza is still alive and will be a major part in this later on. There are a few things here and there besides him, but by and large everything is still the same mostly.

Oh almost forgot. The alternate dimension Naruto has two primary elemental affinities that the majority of his jutsu will come from. Kage Bunshin is a given though, considering how awesome I think solid clones are. But anyway, to any reviewers. Please remember to put down two elements that you want him to use mostly, and the two I see most are picked. But nothing like Wood, or Ice. Maybe their respective parts, but those are kinda impossible to have unless you end up born with them, or experimented on like Yamato. N Naruto was experimented on by Orochimaru, but nothing that would give him something like what he has.

I think this may have been my longest AN for all my stories. Wow. Length of each chapter is going to be between 5k, and 6k usually. I can't pump out chapters as large as someone like Kenchi618 at his rate, I don't think I'll ever be able to do that. But I think 5-6k is reasonable for a length right?