Disclaimer: J.K. owns Harry Potter. I just torture him every now and then.
A/N: This is a short little fic that should be a bit humerous about Harry and his awkwardness about his adoptive parents' date nights. Set in the Sword of Slytherin universe. Enjoy. :D
Harry sat on the sofa, staring up at the ceiling. He was bored, so utterly bored. It was his weekend, well, his and adoptive brother's, Draco, to spend down in the dungeons. Unfortunately, the glamour the dungeons previously held just wasn't there anymore. Their little sister, Angel, was off with Draco, bugging someone likely. His adoptive parents were, well, he wasn't even going to go into what they were doing. Well, he was pretty sure it wasn't that since he was there, but he wasn't dumb. He saw the looks between the two. They were obviously thinking something.
At the sound of boots clicking against the stone floor as someone approached him, Harry glanced up with a sigh. He instantly sat up with his mouth hanging open and eyes wide open. His breath caught in the back of his throat.
With a forced cough, he attempted to speak. His words first came out as a croak, making him talk again. "Um, Mum," he said quietly. "Why are you, um, well, why are you dressed like that?" In his mind, he thought how illegal and wrong her outfit was. He watched his mum glance down at her black leather jacket with matching pants. He could tell that she didn't seem to think anything was wrong with how she was dressed.
Sure, his adoptive mother was thirty-four. She wasn't quite old by anyone's standards. She still had long dark curls and hardly any wrinkles on her face. But she was a professor! And everyone knew that professors shouldn't dress like that. Professors were supposed to be dressed, well, like McGonagall or Dumbledore, not like that.
"Because, Harry," his mum said with a smirk, "Severus and I are going hunting."
"Aurora," his dad warned, shaking his head once as he joined his wife in the sitting area.
Harry instantly noticed that his dad wasn't wearing his usual robes of doom. With a frown, he looked at his dad's black button down shirt and black pants. They were going hunting? Looking like that? Harry wasn't so convinced that was what they were doing.
"Hunting for what?" he asked, watching his adoptive parents very closely.
Without batting an eye, his mum replied, "Murderers, rapists, all around bad guys. In other words, your father's old acquaintances," she said with a shrug.
"Death Eaters?" the young Gryffindor squawked. His mum was going out dressed like that to hunt Death Eaters? "You're hunting Death Eaters?" he said, staring at her with a rather horrified look.
"Best job Albus has ever given me I think," she said with a short laugh. She then lowered her voice, her smile widening just a bit. "Your father and I have a lot of anger to work out of our system, love, so we'll be back late tonight." She then went into Mum mode. "Now, make sure you and Draco finish all of your schoolwork before you two decide to relax. And please, Harry love, don't try to push it off because it's the weekend. Your schoolwork is very important," she said with a soft smile. "If you have any difficulties with it, you may use the Floo to speak with Remus, but only speak with him. Do you understand me?" Her smile widened a bit when he nodded slowly. "Oh, and please tuck Angel in. I'd rather her not be up when we come home. All right, well, I think that's all of it," she said, nodding her head once. "Shall we, Severus?"
"Um, Mum," Harry started to say, hanging his head while playing with his hands. He wasn't quite sure how to say it. Glancing up and looking through his hair towards her, he sighed. He threw all caution to the wind, deciding just to say it. "Mum, what the hell?"
"Your father and I are going to kill—"
"Aurora," his dad interrupted, frowning.
"Kill," she repeated, rolling her eyes, "some Death Eaters."
"Aurora," his dad said again, giving her an indiscernible look.
"Fine, you capture while I kill, Severus," she said, smiling.
Harry watched his dad purse his lips tightly together, clearly unhappy about something. Drawing in a slow breath, the young Gryffindor glanced from him to his mum. Okay, so he knew his adoptive parents were members of the Order. So it was plausible that Dumbledore would give them a mission to capture Death Eaters, possibly even kill. Harry after all could think of a few Death Eaters who he wanted dead, but that still didn't answer the real big question.
"Okay, fine," he said, accepting his mum's explanation of where they were going. "So you're going after Death Eaters. Why then are you going out looked like, well, some sort of . . . I don't know how to say it politely, but like that?" he asked, staring at her.
"Because, love, the majority of the Death Eaters we're going after, well, they won't be thinking with the wands in their hands," she answered, smiling.
Harry's stomach lurched as his eyes widened. She had to be joking! He then glanced at his father before he looked back at her. Okay, so he'd admit that before she became his mum he had tended to agree with his housemates that she was rather attractive. However, she was his mum now! She was supposed to be a mum or a professor or some other unattractive witch. She was not supposed to be dressed like some witch he'd find in one of the magazines Ron and a few other Gryffindor wizards had stuffed under their mattress. And she most certainly was not supposed to talk about that.
"Good night, Harry," his mum said, kissing his cheek before she and his dad started walking out.
Harry then watched his father lean towards his mum to whisper something in her ear as they paused for a moment by the closed portrait, grabbing their cloaks from the hooks. He had to crane his head to hear his dad, and even then he still barely heard him.
"Was that really necessary?" his dad asked, frowning.
"Of course it was, Severus.
"But, Aurora, we're merely going to . . ."
"Yes, but can you imagine what he'd imagine had we told him that," his mum replied.
"I'm sure it'd be better than what he's thinking now," his dad quipped, glancing towards him.
Harry quickly glanced away to stare at the fireplace before his dad caught him eavesdropping. He was thoroughly confused now. Were they hunting Death Eaters or not? He was inclined to say not, but his mum sounded more playful now than before. With a frown, he turned his ear towards them.
"Well, it was either us murdering Death Eaters, or you having a leather fetish, Severus."
Harry's head whirled around to stare at his dad's back. What? He had to have heard that wrong. However, his dad remained silent for a minute.
"Death Eater hunters it is then," his mum said with a smile.
Harry watched his parents walk out through the now opened portrait. He was so confused. Was that to throw him off? Or was that the truth? He then watched Draco and Angel slowly walk into the room. Maybe the blond knew.
"What was that all about?" Draco asked, motioning with his head towards the direction their adoptive parents left in.
Not being sure which story was the truth, he decided to go with the one that was a bit less, well, disturbing in his mind. "Mum and Dad are hunting Death Eaters . . . I think."
Draco glanced at him, raising his eyebrow slightly. "Um, I hate to be the one to mention this to you, little brother, but I doubt that."
"Well, unless she's planning on kill them by a heart attack, I think that outfit's for Dad."
Harry shuddered. No, no, they were going hunting for Death Eaters. That was believable, if one just ignored her state of dress. They weren't going on a date with the end result of them being—he shuddered even more, feeling thoroughly disturbed now for thinking that.
"But they said—"
"Harry," Draco said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Trust me. It's for Dad."
Groaning, Harry hung his head. Why had he wanted to be normal?
A/N: Thanks for reading.