~August 2010, Rob en route to visit Kristen in Montreal~
My phone lit up with Kristen's name as the pilot announced that seat belts needed to go back on for landing.
Her text read: "My heart is in my throat. Get here faster."
I rubbed my eyes, groggy from having just slept for the six hour flight, and then looked at the date on my phone: August 10, 2010. I shook my head with a small smile; Kristen left almost exactly one month before and I was finally going to see her, to hold her.
Everyone clapped when the wheels hit the ground and my smile grew even wider. I never understood why people clapped until that moment. They were clapping because we made it without crashing, but I was celebrating something very different, and something that was worth much more celebration.
I had no security with me, so an Air Canada worker escorted me out of a hidden exit. I made it through with very few strange looks and I didn't see anyone whipping out their camera phones, so I thought my visit was going to stay under the radar, just where we wanted it. I was visiting Montreal for Kristen and nothing else.
The pit in my stomach grew deeper when I started to ring her. She went to the wrong exit to get me. I was inexplicably nervous. I hadn't felt this nervous about anything to do with Kristen since the first Twilight where I would continually piss my pants every time I spoke to her because I was so intimidated. Having spoken every day since I saw her a month ago, it made no sense for me to feel this way again, but I couldn't calm my nerves.
I saw a black car with tinted windows pull into the parking deck and I couldn't see in, but I correctly assumed that it was her. She rolled down the automatic window as the car was still in motion and I first saw her hair. Golden blonde and blowing from the wind of the car. Then her smile, wide, reaching all the way to her eyes, huge, and as green as ever. She was a little tan from being out in the sun for Beatnik bootcamp. She was glowing and beautiful and the car was taking forever to get to me.
I didn't even realize how huge I was smiling until my arms were around her and my cheeks were hurting. I also involuntarily dropped the big yellow bag I brought with me, with my clothes stuffed tightly inside to avoid having to check an extra bag.
I pulled back from the embrace and grabbed her face, looked at her for a moment, silent. Kristen made silence comfortable. She glanced downward to my lips and let out a small giggle. She looked so happy and it made me feel the same way to see her like this. I kissed her lightly, and then again, longer.
"God." She huffed out. "I fucking missed you." She kissed me again and tightened her arms around my waist.
We looked around the parking deck just before getting back in the car, having completely forgotten that we probably should have been paying more attention, but there was no one around. We slipped into the car together, hands entwined, and continued kissing there. Kristen gave the driver the address for the restaurant that we were meeting Tom, Garrett, Sam, and Alexandra at, and we were off.
I left my bag in the car because the same driver was going to come back to pick us up later and we didn't have time to stop at the hotel suite.
I greeted the guys and Sam's wife when we got to the restaurant. The smile on my face was a permanent accessory at this point and my hand was glued to Kristen's. I was starving and excited to spend time with all of the people who Kristen talked about on a daily basis, but really, I couldn't wait to finish dinner and just be with her.
The lot of us sat at a corner table, away from many of the restaurant goers, in hopes to go unnoticed.
"We've had a lot of practice with your girl now, we know the drill." Garrett said, of requesting for the private table.
I nodded, a little sullen at the remembrance of how much we had to do, to do the simplest of things together like going out to dinner. But in the end, it was worth it. And it was getting easier by the day.
Kristen reached her free hand over to my thigh and scooted closer to me. I let go of her hand and wrapped my arm around her shoulder. She tucked herself under my arm perfectly and we sat like that as we ate our dinners.
After dinner, Tom and Garrett decided to see who could do more shots in a row. They were given four shots of vodka each. Both of them looked confident, but I knew Tom had this. He may have been small in stature, but the guy could drink.
"Going down." Garrett said, holding back a laugh, and pointing down at the table.
"'Cause I'm country strooong." I sang low in Kristen's ear. We both laughed.
"You watched that?" Sam asked, eavesdropping.
"Guilty. I wanted to see who was spending the days naked with my girlfriend while I was in Tennessee." I said, laughing, slightly embarrassed. My cheeks were probably even redder than usual.
Kristen squeezed my hand and shook her head with a smile. She leaned close into my ear, her lips grazing it. "You'll see me naked enough tonight to combat all your pent up jealousy." She kissed my ear before pulling away and gave me a shy smile, biting her lip. It was so unlike her to say something like that, but I think the sexual frustration was getting to her, and goddamn, was it getting to me.
I laughed to break the tension and she widened her eyes and then winked.
She had a little crumb on her bottom lip, so I grabbed her lip with my index and thumb to take the crumb off. "Eat it." She said with a laugh, then slapped my hand away just as I was about to eat the microscopic crumb that probably wasn't even on my finger anymore just because she told me to.
"Fuck, I wanted that." I laughed again and took a sip of beer. Tom and Garrett were getting into intense, drunken conversation next to me after Tom finished his shots faster. I think the alcohol was bringing them into their characters. Sam, Kristen, Tom, and Garrett were all really into the film at the moment.
The energy of the group of us was palpable. We were all young and free and all of them were so into the film that life was kind of imitating art. The mood of the dinner was so lax and comfortable and, with Kristen stroking my thigh and whispering things in my ear, incredibly sexual, just like On the Road.
"So did you watch any of my films? You know, I've seen her naked too." Sam joked with a laugh.
"Yeah, Kristen actually..." I glanced at Kristen, then back to Sam "...is the reason I watched one. The one where you play Ian Curtis-" I couldn't think of the name. "That was a fucking great film, and I'm not just saying that to bull shit." Kristen had told me to watch it because she loved Joy Division and it was a truly great piece of work. Sam's acting was impressive, and his wife, Alexandra, was great in it as well.
"That's where they met." Kristen added, pointing between Sam and Alex.
"Yep." Alex smiled at Sam and her eyes glowed. I wondered if Kristen and I were that obviously in love because I could see it between them so easily.
"Now it'll be our one year of marriage coming up this August." Alex beamed and Sam smiled back, and then placed a kiss on her lips. Kristen looked to me and smiled huge. It was nice to see a young, normal couple of actors who met on a set and fell in love. Usually it's more common for actor/actress relationships to not be very solid, but this one was, just like Kristen and I's.
After dinner, Kristen and I got in a separate car from the rest of the group, to head to the hotel. Everyone else was going to stay out for awhile longer, but we wanted to spend some time alone.
"I made the best ginger cookies earlier for you. And I got youso much beer." Kristen smiled, huddled up next to me on the backseat.
"You're trying to make me fat, now that I'm off for a bit?" I kissed her cheek.
"I like you with a belly." She said, patting my stomach with a smirk.
"You're so weird."
"You too." She said, and then kissed me.
"But you can have the cookies tomorrow. I want to fuck you all night." She whispered the last bit in my ear as the driver probably wouldn't have appreciated the sexual sentiments.
I was a little caught off guard by Kristen's on-comings all night. I think her character was rubbing off on her. I was far from complaining, though.
We pulled up to the hotel. It was dimly lit on the outside and I barely caught a glance of the exterior because we ran in so quickly, hand in hand, with our hoods up.
Kristen walked straight into the kitchen area and flipped on the light. The cookies she was talking about were on the counter and she pulled a beer out of the fridge. She gave me a weird, shy glance. She was being so sexy. But so weird.
"I really missed you so much. You don't even know how much I missed having you around - here." She let out a sigh. "Cheesy as fuck, but this place feels much more homey with you in it." She said, giving me a wide grin. I smiled back and took a sip of the beer.
"You look beautiful, by the way." I gave her a smile. I couldn't believe that I didn't tell her that until now.
"Go smoke for a minute, or have a cookie or something, and then meet me inside." She said, pointing to the door that I assumed was the bedroom.
"All right." I said, without questions. I stepped outside on the balcony for a minute and took a few long drags of a cigarette, and then went back inside and finished up the beer. I took a bite of a cookie with the intention of only having a bite, but I wound up eating the whole thing because it was so fucking good. Once I was finished, I walked my way over to the door and knocked lightly.
She swung open the door and the whole room was lit with tea light candles. They were along the headboard and on all of the surfaces, the desk, dresser, end tables. It looked nice and I'd never had a girl do something like this before. Kristen must have really missed me. Though I didn't want her to feel lonely or upset, I couldn't help but be happy about how much she did because I did too.
"Lame, right?" She laughed and grabbed onto the front pockets of my jeans, digging her fingers in.
"It's perfect. But I'm bound to disappoint you because you're turning me on so much right now that this is going to last about three seconds on my end." I said with a laugh.
"That's okay, we'll do it again." She smiled and got on her tippy-toes to kiss me.
I kissed her back as we both undid our jeans. Once I pushed mine down, I grabbed her face to steady it, kissing her more deeply.
All night I'd been thinking about this. I missed talking and laughing and having dinner together, too. Don't get me wrong. But we could do most of that on the phone. Kissing and touching and playing and the intimacy that we shared together was something that was unachievable through a cell tower.
Every time we were away for any length of time, I wondered if it would be as amazing as the last.
It was always better.
Being away always brought us to a new level. I always appreciated her that much more. Our time together was that much more special. She was that much more amazing to me.
Fully undressed, I laid back onto the bed. Kristen hovered over me and I knew that pretty much all she had to do was give me her lightest touch on the right spot and I'd be done for.
She knew too and she was using it. She seemed so much more confident. I resented being away from her at a time where she clearly grew so much. At the time I definitely wasn't thinking of anything except fucking her, but after that night, I decided that I'd never be away from her that long again.
Kristen spread her legs over me, crawling up to my lips. She kissed me a couple of times and then slowly brought her hips back. I was completely hard and it took so much for me to try to control myself from coming even just from going inside of her.
I never had such a strong reaction before. Granted, it had been almost a month. She was tighter, I was horny, she was being sexier than ever, the list goes on.
She went all the way down and let out the hottest moan once her bum hit the top of my legs and I couldn't hold on anymore.
"Fuuuck." I groaned. It was an outburst of both pleasure and embarrassment at how long I lasted...or didn't last.
She laughed. She loved what she did to me. She waited a second to let her laughter settle and then she started to grind her hips back and forth. It was like my hard never went away and never would. I sat up slightly and she wrapped her arms around me, grinding.
I leaned forward and kissed along her collar bone, holding her tight.
She did all the work the first few times, pushing me back any time I tried to get into a position where I would have to, until I eventually gave up and let her call all the shots. She knew her way around.
Nearly three hours came and went. Kristen was laying on top of me, her body moving with my chest as it rose and fell. I ran my fingers through her hair which was damp with sweat at the roots.
"I missed you." I told her.
She twirled her fingers in the little hairs on my chest, "I love you." She replied.
Then, I woke up next to her, which was almost as sweet as last night. She was smiling in her sleep, tangled up in the sheets. I glanced to the clock and it was eight-thirty. She had to be on set in a few hours, but I selfishly wanted that time with her, so I nudged her and she woke up easily. She was a light sleeper.
"Morning." I pressed my lips to hers and she groaned lightly, asking the time.
"We should shower." She sat up and pushed the sheets off. She was wearing my Beastie Boys t-shirt that I had worn the previous night, and nothing else. I crept a hand up the inside of her thigh to feel her as I pressed my lips to hers again.
"Let's go." I said as I pulled away.
We both got up and I pushed my boxers down, turning on the water. Kristen came up behind me as I was feeling the water for temperature and pressed her chest to my back, holding me tight. Once the water was good, we waddled into the shower like that, laughing and trying not to fall down.
"You're in a good mood this morning." Kristen noted. My smile was ever-present, even though I just woke up.
"Well, that was the best night I've had in... uh, about a month." I said sarcastically, followed by more laughter. "You're amazing." I said, a little more seriously, grabbing her by the hips as I let the water hit my back.
"Marylou is making me feel so sexy."
"You didn't feel sexy before?" I didn't believe her.
"Well, like, with you." She said, lathering up shampoo in her hair. "But never before you and not on a daily basis or anything, just when you're there, mostly." She smiled at me. I made her feel sexy. That was a good feeling.
We switched spots and Kristen went under the shower head to rinse her hair. I snuck a few elongated glances up and down her body when she leaned back, eyes shut, to wash the shampoo out of her hair. She was indeed sexy... the sexiest, without even trying or having any knowledge of the fact.
She opened up her eyes, catching my ogling, and giggled a little under her breath.
"What?" I asked, a smirk on my face.
"You're such a male." She said with another laugh.
We finished up in the shower and I picked my Beastie Boys shirt up off the floor of the bathroom. It was soft and stretched out from Kristen sleeping in it and me wearing it the day before.
Kristen eyed me as I put it on and asked me to leave it behind when I left because she liked it. Of course, I obliged, as I had with most of the other t-shirts in my wardrobe. She was even starting to get her hands on my boxers to sleep in, and I didn't have the spine to tell her no, even if it did mean I had to go to the store to get more underwear every couple of weeks because they disappeared in between traveling. But, who was I kidding? The real reason I didn't have the balls to turn her away from the few clothes I owned was because I liked seeing her in them.
Kristen made eggs and toast for breakfast and I brewed the coffee (instant coffee, water in the microwave - the only thing I knew how to do effectively). We sat on the stools in the kitchenette. Kristen had her legs sprawled over mine as she took small bites, picking up the eggs with her hands. She always ate with her hands. I loved it.
"I've done it since I was a kid." She said, when I asked why she ate with her fingers. Most girls would find it un-lady-like, but Kristen wasn't most girls. "It's the best way to get the perfect amount of everything in every bite. Try it." She smiled at me, waiting.
I ripped off a piece of the buttered toast and took a bit of the scrambled eggs in my fingers, and then placed it all in my mouth.
"Tastes the same to me." I said with a laugh and a mouth full of food.
"No, man. You have to try it with a different kind of meal. This isn't a good example." She decided, and then continued to eat with her fingers anyway.
When we were done, it was nearly time for Kristen to be on set. We left early so she could introduce me to everyone.
"Most of the crew speaks French, so 'Bonjour, enchanté.'" She smiled up at me, and then grabbed my hand as we walked up to wardrobe trailer.
"Hello, nice to meet you?" I asked.
"Yes. You are such a liar!"
"You just are always saying... how you can't speak in different languages, when in reality, you actually are pretty good at it."
"Hello, nice to meet you... is hardly fluent French."
"I bet you can say more." She was trying to egg me on, to prove a point, and I fell for it.
"Où sont les toilettes?"
She gave me a confused look and I told her it meant 'Where is the toilet?'
"Excusez-moi" Now I was just trying to show off, or to make her laugh. Mostly to make her laugh. It worked.
"Oh...I got a good one... Vous m'éblouissent."
"Show off. Even your pronunciation... I can't stand you." She was laughing. "What does that mean?"
"You dazzle me." I buckled over laughing and let go of her hand. We were at the door of the trailer now.
"You're so stupid." Admittedly, the Twilight reference was stupid, but I couldn't stop laughing at my own idiocy.
The day went by much too quickly. I watched Kristen do her dance routine with Garrett and it was like watching a different person. I was so impressed and shocked by it. I knew she would be great, but I didn't know what to expect, and she exceeded anything I managed to imagine.
They closed the set for the extras who had to be nude, so I went outside to smoke. Once Tom, Garrett, Kristen, and the others were on break, they met me outside. Kristen was practicing with a twirler for her next scene and I watched her. She shimmied up to me as she was going to do with Garrett for the scene, coming right up to my nose, then backing away with a huge smile on her face. Tease.
I kissed her lips once, and twice, then tapped her butt as I followed her back inside until they wrapped for the day.
We went out with everyone that night and every night that followed. Kristen and the guys were working hard, but for the movie, they wanted to look a little beat down and tired, so it worked out for all of us.
Two nights before Kristen and I went back home to LA, we went to a house party with Tom. One of the crew members from the area was throwing it and invited a lot of the people who were working on the film.
At the end of the night, none of us were in the right state of mind to walk back to the house even though it was close, so we called a taxi and waited in the doorway. Tom kept popping in and out of the house to check if the taxi was there yet, but it took a lot longer than usual.
Kristen slung her arms over my shoulders lazily and I clutched the shopping bag in my hand from before the party. We had gone to a vintage clothing store that Kristen wanted to look in before we left Montreal. She picked up a few t-shirts and I did as well.
I leant down and kissed her cheek. She was smiling so wide, but she looked exhausted.
We kissed until the taxi driver arrived. Tom kindly nudged Kristen away from me to get us moving. Neither of us were eager to move from that position.
The last night in Montreal, we all stayed in one room. We smoked and drank and exchanged stories together.
When we left Montreal, Kristen was excited to get home to LA, but not to leave the cast. She wasn't finished with her filming, but it was still hard for her to go. Seeing her so passionate about the film made me incredibly proud of her. It was no secret that I was her biggest fan, but seeing the behind the scenes passion that she had for her work made me even more crazy about it and her.
Thank you for reviewing and patience... :) xoxo