Disclaimer: I don't own Therapy (Relient K) or Digimon.
This is not something I'd ever be doing. Just driving through the country just to drive. I had rolled out of bed this morning and hadn't even bothered to change, yet again, I hadn't really changed last night either. I was wearing the same thing I had been wearing since her and I had last seen each other, and that had been days ago.
Ever since we had gotten in to the stupid fight, I had been spending all of my time alone. I had spent all of my time with her and she was the only one I wanted to spend time with. I had so much, friends, family, my career. It means nothing without her though.
I pulled in to the tiny lot that had very special meaning to our relationship. It was the place that I had asked her to marry me only a few days before the incident. I looked around, taking in the scenery. It was almost like therapy.
Her death grip on my life was still there, making me miss her every second of every day. My life was in transition. Originally I thought it was due to the wedding, but maybe the transition was losing the love of my life.
I sat back, sighing and lighting up my cigarette. It was something I had picked up after I had lost my hopes of being a star soccer player due to an on field injury. I sat, thinking about all that everything that had happened. She had left me. My beautiful, redheaded fiancée left me over the stupidest argument. We were arguing about Yamato. I wanted him to be my best man. She, on the other hand, did not want her ex at the wedding at all. He was my best friend though and our siblings were married. It would have caused dissention in the family. The whole thing had turned into a full blown argument and it had ended with her telling me that it was her day and she was going to get what she wanted and if I didn't agree then there was going to be no wedding. I walked out and that was the last thing that happened.
"Fuck!" I yelled, rubbing my eye. The smoke from my cigarette had ended up wafting towards my eye, causing a stinging sensation in an eye. I took a breath. Sometimes it was good to feel a sting now and again. It was just one less woeful thing to fight through.
It was time to forget all of that right now though. I had fresh paper on the passenger's seat next to me and the expensive pen that she had bought me for graduation was in my pocket. I was going to write this letter if I had to sit here all night.
I know, I screwed up. There were a lot of things that I shouldn't have said. I was more concerned with what the family thought than how you felt. Our wedding was supposed to be the one thing that was always for you. That's just the rule. The woman gets to decide on the wedding. Why would anyone want their ex there to stain their special day.
I also know that part of the issue is what happened when we were kids. I know that you feel guilty for choosing Matt over me that night, but I don't want you to feel bad. I'm happy that you chose him over me that night. If not then this could have gone the other way. I could have been your tester boyfriend and Matt may have been the one you married. It's the past and the past cannot subtract a thing from what I might do for you. I'd have to let it do that and I won't.
Everyone has been trying to get a hold of me saying that I must be "lonely." They're confused. I'm not lonely, I'm just in solitude. I spend my solitude thinking of you, almost with you. I thin of all the questions of the things I just can't get straight. I ask you them and pretend your answering me in the way you always have, or at least the way I think you do.
This is my therapy, because you refuse to hear me out and that makes God the only one who's left here listening. You won't take my calls. I won't take anyone else's. That means the only one who can be left here listening to me is God.
Again Sora, I'm sorry.
I love you,
After signing the letter it was time to go. I had been there for almost an hour, hemming and hawing over the correct wording. It wasn't perfect, but I wasn't exactly known as a perfect person and it still had to be delivered to her. I put the car in gear and left.
Sora's house was on the way back to my place in Tokyo. She was still living in our house. I had moved in with Daisuke for the time being. It was better than my other options, Kari or my parents. It would be embarrassing.
The music flowing through the speakers managed to distract me for the rest of the drive. I merely slid out of the car to slip the note into the mail slot. I hadn't even missed a beat when I got in the car.
When I got home I just sat in the car, unwilling to go in. Instead I killed the engine and leaned back, lighting up another cigarette, hoping my phone would vibrate with news from the woman I loved.
A/n: So, I ended this a lot differently than I was planning on. It was going to end with Sora and Tai getting together, but there's no closure in the song, so I felt that there should be no closure in this either. Maybe if I find the correct song there will be a sequel.