A/N: *sigh* This fic is silly, it's not intended to be taken serious in any way, shape, or form.
However, what is to be taken seriously is the love I have for the amazingly special woman I wrote it for, Lindz26… This girl loves her some bacon; I mean, she *LOVES* bacon and I love her for it! She is such a special person who has the biggest heart. She does so much for everyone else that I wanted to give something back to her. I want to make her smile and laugh and be happy, just like she does for me on a daily basis! She is a fantastic mother, friend, and future wife (Imma marry her someday, just wait and see) and all around a beautiful person!
Lindz, I love you with all my heart and just wanted to show you with some crazy bacon love!
Also, I made this banner for the story! (It's not nearly as good as anything the crazy talented Lindz could make but it was made with love!)
http : / i921 . photobucket . com/albums/ad54/breckinsmommy48/FF%20Banners / BellaandtheBaconFairy . jpg (remove the spaces)
Pre-read by the fabulous handsandfingers and MizzHyde!
Also, thank you to my lovie BookBytes for his help with being my sounding board and for giving me his ideas when I got stuck with the plot!
Without further ado, I bring you Bella and the Bacon Fairy!
I love bacon; it's a well-known fact. I'm that crazy girl who wears t-shirts that say 'Bacon is Meat Candy' and that periodic table shirt that spells out bacon using the elements. Pretty much the whole world knows about my obsession but sometimes I get these crazy weird cravings for it and then I realize I'm out.
That's what happened to me one night several weeks ago. It was about ten o'clock and I suddenly got a craving for some bacon—fried to a perfect crisp on the outside but floppy goodness in the middle. I walked to the refrigerator and let out a loud groan when I realized that I forgotten to buy bacon at the store.
It was too fucking late to drag my lazy ass to the store so I walked back into the living room and sighed dramatically as I sank down in my recliner and opened my laptop to Twitter. As soon as I was signed in, I sent out a tweet that said:
BaconLuver123 It's times like this that I rly wish there was a bacon fairy. It wld be fantastic if a package of bacon magically appeared outside my house!
I figured the only thing to do was go to bed, seeing as how Alice was staying at Jasper's that night and I couldn't count on her to be a distraction from my craving.
I headed to bed and fell asleep pretty fast.
The next morning, I woke up at my normal time and walked to the front door to get my newspaper. I opened the door and nearly tripped over a brown box I hadn't seen sitting there. I cursed out loud, grabbed the paper and the box and grumbled like a loon until I hit the kitchen.
Don't judge me, I hadn't had my coffee yet AND I was still disgruntled about my lack of bacon.
I put the box down on the counter and shuffled over to make the coffee. While it was brewing, I walked back over to the damn box that tried to kill me and ripped it open, swearing it better not be something disgusting.
"Oh, my fucking God!" I cried out loud when I saw what was in the box— two packages of my favorite brand of bacon tied together with a red ribbon and a note card attached. I untied the ribbon and slid the note card off.
I turned the card over and in perfect cursive handwriting were the words:
Enjoy your gift!
The Bacon Fairy
Honestly, after I read that a smile spread across my face so big that I thought my face might crack. Someone had seriously been paying attention to my fucking tweet from the night before.
I quickly pulled out the frying pan and cooked the bacon, plus some scrambled eggs. After breakfast I got ready for work and left.
Once the day was over, I headed back home and Alice was sitting in the living room.
"Who the fuck is the bacon fairy?" she asked me as soon as I walked in the door. She was holding up the card from the box.
I started laughing and explained to her about my craving and the tweet and then about how the box had appeared by the door overnight.
She gave me the craziest look then asked, "And you ate this bacon that was left outside the door?"
"Of course I did…" I told her. "It was still in it's package and I wanted bacon. I wasn't gonna look a gift horse in the mouth."
Alice rolled her eyes at me. "You're insane, Bella."
Later that night I logged on to Twitter and sent out another tweet.
BaconLuver123 O.O There is a Bacon Fairy! I had bacon magically show up on my doorstep today! Idk who you are but thank you so much! It was delicious!
I spent about fifteen minutes talking to a few of my friends on my timeline, most of them asking about the so-called Bacon Fairy. I was checking my (at)'s when I saw a message to me from a new follower.
TheBaconFairy (at)BaconLuver123 I'm so glad that you enjoyed the bacon I left you. This boy's aim is to please!
I sat there with my mouth open a bit in shock. It was a boy who brought me bacon and I could only hope he was a sexy fairy. Whoever this was had actually created a Twitter account to talk to me. I checked his profile and he was only following one person—me. I clicked the follow button and decided if I was going to figure out who this was I'd need to see their tweets.
I replied immediately.
BaconLuver123 (at)TheBaconFairy I did thoroughly enjoy myself. Who are you, oh mysterious one?
The secret bacon gifter answered me quickly.
TheBaconFairy (at)BaconLuver123 I'm just a person who wants to see you happy. I'll reveal myself in due time, my dear. Until then, just enjoy your bacon!
My mind was boggled but there was a huge smile plastered on my face as I got ready for bed.
The next morning I woke up and practically ran outside but there was nothing except the paper there.
I had to admit I was slightly disappointed that there wasn't more bacon by my door. Maybe it was only a one-time thing.
Three days and no more bacon gifts; I mean, don't get me wrong, I still ate bacon but none from the 'fairy'. My happy mood had been shot to hell and my temper was shorter than usual, plus I had no logical reason to explain why I was so disappointed.
Maybe it was because for once in my life, someone had done something specifically to make me happy and it gave me a false sense of hope. Or maybe I just wanted my damn bacon…
I woke up and trudged to the door for my paper but my eyes instantly shot to the gift wrapped box next to the paper. I grabbed it and forgot the damn paper as I ran into the kitchen.
I ripped the paper from the box and pulled the lid off. Inside I found a pair of brown underwear with the words 'I *heart* Bacon' written in pink letters across the butt. They were too awesome for words! At the bottom of the box was another note.
I'm so sorry that I've been missing the past couple of days. Things got a little crazy but I hope you enjoy your gift. I'm willing to bet they'll look spectacular on you!
-The Bacon Fairy
"Alice!" I cried out excitedly as she came down the hallway to the kitchen! I waved the card in front of her face animatedly. "Look, the Bacon Fairy is back!"
She took the card and read it, rolled her eyes and snatched the brown cloth from me. "Underwear?" she questioned. "Isn't that a little creepy, Bella?"
"No! I love them!" I quickly replied. Alice did have a point, it probably should have registered as creepy to me that some mysterious person was buying me underwear, but I was too happy to let her get me down. "Don't be such a buzz-kill! Let me enjoy my bacon stalker!"
Alice just huffed and went to make coffee.
I pulled out my phone and sent out a tweet.
BaconLuver123 hey everyone! (at)TheBaconFairy delivered the most awesome pair of underwear to my door this AM! Picture to follow!
Then I snapped a picture and uploaded it for all my followers to see and headed off to work.
As soon as I logged onto Twitter that night I checked my 's and had a message waiting for me.
TheBaconFairy (at)BaconLuver123 so glad you loved them and didn't think it was creepy
BaconLuver123 (at)TheBaconFairy not creepy at all… Will you at least tell me if I know you or not?
TheBaconFairy (at)BaconLuver123 You do know me, you just don't know it's me. I promise to reveal myself when the time is right
BaconLuver123 (at)TheBaconFairy You do know you're driving me crazy with anticipation right?
TheBaconFairy (at)BaconLuver123 Yes and that's the best part. You're so cute when you don't know what's going on!
BaconLuver123 (at)TheBaconFairy So you see me on a daily basis?
TheBaconFairy (at)BaconLuver123 I see you often enough to know that this is driving you nuts and that it's also making you happy.
BaconLuver123 (at)TheBaconFairy Gah! Okay time for bed oh mysterious one! G'night!
TheBaconFairy (at)BaconLuver123 G'night and Sweet Dreams!
The whole situation was driving me nuts and I decided to take matters into my own hands. I called Alice into my room and asked her for her help. We made a list of everyone we thought it might be. There was Jacob and Paul who were a couple guys from work, Riley and Peter, a couple of Jasper's friends, and this one really weird dude, Eric Yorkie, who stopped by the bookstore a lot and tried to flirt with me.
I was sincerely hoping it wasn't the last guy but we had to keep our options open.
I ruled out Jacob and Paul as possibilities at work the next day when I mentioned something about bacon underwear and they just rolled their eyes at me. None of them seemed suspicious at all. Alice asked Jasper about his friends, but he didn't have a clue, so they were still on the list.
Despite my love of bacon, I had no idea the amount of bacon flavored novelties there were out there.
Over the next two weeks, I received one package with bacon shaped Band-Aids and a bacon scented air freshener for my car, one with two bacon scented candles (that smelled amazing) and a bar of soap that smelled like bacon (I never actually used that one, I didn't want my body to smell like bacon), a bigger box with bacon flavored mints, toothpicks, lollipops, gum, and jelly beans. I also got a gift basket with Bakon Vodka and flavored popcorn, a smaller basket with bacon flavored dental floss, toothpaste, and a toothbrush thats handle was shaped like a strip of bacon.
The cutest thing was this stuffed pig that when you pressed his foot, he rolled over, giggled uncontrollably, and oinked. It was adorable.
I'd finally gotten up the nerve to ask him for his g-mail and we spent the nights talking on g-chat. I found that the more I talked to him, the more I was really starting to like this guy. I told him that even though I appreciated the thought and the time he spent picking out these gifts for me, he really didn't need to keep spending money on me.
I kept asking to meet him after every new gift arrived but he kept refusing and I was starting to wonder if I was ever going to get to meet him. He kept assuring me that the time would come.
I was frustrated to say the least!
Another three days had passed with no meeting and no plans to meet in sight. It was seriously getting to the point where I was about to tell this so-called Bacon Fairy to shove it up his ass and just leave me alone. It was cute at first but his persistent reluctance to reveal himself began to make me think it was all a big joke.
It was a Thursday night and I was at the end of my patience rope. I had been geared up to place my ultimatum on the table when I logged onto my g-chat. An offline message popped up first.
TheBaconFairy: Hey Bella, I'm ready to reveal myself. Tomorrow you will receive a letter with the instructions on where to meet me inside. Wear something light as we'll be outside. I won't be online tonight but if you've decided not to meet me, I understand. Sorry it's taken me so long.
I mentally cheered and jumped out of my chair. I ran to my room to try to figure out what I was going to wear the next day.
I was so excited that I found it hard to sleep but the next morning I ran to the door hoping to find the letter. It wasn't there and that made me curious because that was the only place I'd received anything from my mystery fairy.
I threw on the pale pink sun dress I had picked out for our meet up, pulled my hair up in a scrunchy side ponytail and left for work.
Every time the door opened to the little book store I worked at my eyes immediately shot to whoever was walking in. Alice and Jasper came in to talk to me and see how I was holding up shortly after lunch and I was so on edge with anticipation that they both laughed at me.
Nearly an hour and three minor heart failures after Alice and Jasper left, the door dinged again and the deliciously sexy delivery man entered the store with three boxes.
"Hey, Edward, whatcha got for us today?" I asked him as he walked up to the counter.
He sat the boxes down and handed me his clipboard to sign. "Oh, just some books I'd assume," he replied with a coy grin on his face. "So, you look very nice today, Bella. Well, I mean you always look nice, but you look extra nice today. I mean…" he stammered and his face turned the cutest shade of red.
I placed my hand on his for a second to try to calm him down. "Thank you, Edward; I know what you mean." I couldn't help but grin at his embarrassment; it was adorable.
He smiled shyly at me for a moment and then turned to walk out the door. He got almost to the door before he stopped abruptly and turned back to me. "Oh, Bella, I almost forgot that someone brought this in this morning and asked that it be delivered to you here today."
He held out a small white envelope with only my first name printed on the front of it. I practically jumped over the counter to get to him. "Oh, my God! Do you know who it's from? What did he look like? You have to tell me!" I practically begged him.
"I'm sorry, I was instructed only to hand you the envelope and nothing more!" He winked at me and turned back to the door. "Have a great evening, Bella!" he said as he exited the building.
I ripped the envelope open before Edward was even in his truck and quickly pulled out the note.
Please meet me at 10933 Oregon Drive tonight at 6:00. There will be a blanket set up for you and I'll reveal myself promptly after you arrive. I truly hope you aren't disappointed when you find out who I am.
The Bacon Fairy
I was on pins and needles for the rest of the afternoon and as soon as I left the store, I entered the address into my GPS and that's how I ended up here, sitting in my car trying to calm my nerves before I go find out who my Bacon Fairy is.
I take one more deep breath and get out of my car, before heading down a stoney path and ending up in the most beautiful rose garden I've ever seen. There are red, pink, and white roses blooming all over the place and the smell of them is intoxicating.
I can't help the smile that overtakes my face when I see a beautiful light blue and pink checkered blanket spread out on the ground in the middle of the grass. There's a wicker picnic basket sitting at the edge of the blanket and two wine glasses next to the basket.
I sit down on the blanket and nervously wait, looking around for any sign of who could be behind this whole charade. Time seems to be ticking away slower than ever when all of the sudden I feel a pair of warm hands covering my eyes and a familiar voice is whispering in my ear, "I'm so glad you showed up, Bella."
I gasp as realization sets in and I pull his hands away to verify my conclusion. "Edward."
He's searching my face intensely for any clue as to what I'm thinking, I can tell by the serious look he's giving me. I smile widely because I've always had a crush on the sexy delivery boy, but he'd always been so shy and quiet that I didn't think he was interested at all. "Why didn't you say something before?" I ask him.
He sits down next to me on the blanket and holds my hand in his. "Bella, you're so beautiful and amazing and your smile lights up a room. I'm just a shy, geeky delivery boy who never thought he stood a chance. When I saw your tweet about the Bacon Fairy, I saw it as the perfect opportunity to do something special for you and possibly get you to notice me.
"I never imagined we'd start talking like we did and I'd fall so head-over-heels for you. Thank you for agreeing to meet me here." The way he drops his head and averts his eyes after his confession pulls at my heart; he really doesn't get it.
"Edward, you don't see yourself clearly at all. You are gorgeous, caring, smart, and funny and one of the sweetest guys out there. Who else would go through all the trouble you did for a crazy girl with a bacon obsession?" I ask him.
"Did you really enjoy all of the gifts? I know some of them were silly but I thought you might like something to make you laugh once in a while." He looks so nervous as he's talking to me, like he doesn't quite believe that I'm really here.
"I did love them all; that laugh out loud roll over pig is hilarious. Also, bacon flavored vodka? You are my new hero! I had no idea it existed and now I am in love with it!" I tell him, hoping he understands that I honestly appreciated his effort.
"Good!" he replies quickly before asking me, "Are you hungry? I've made us a picnic dinner."
"I'm starving; what did you make us?"
His smile is huge as he tells me, "BLTs, potato salad with bacon added, and sparkling cider to drink; I hope that's okay."
"Oh, that sounds amazing!" I assure him and he dishes us both up a plate.
We eat in comfortable silence minus the moans I let out because of how delicious the food is. This man knows how to make bacon perfectly. After we finish eating, he stands up and offers me his hand. I take it and he helps me up. He walks behind one of the rose bushes and bends over before I hear some soft jazzy notes begin to float through the air.
Edward walks back to me, offers me his hand again and asks, "Bella, would you like to dance with me?"
I giggle a little and agree then Edward pulls me toward him and slips his arms around my waist. I wrap mine around his neck and rest my head on his chest as we sway back and forth to the rhythm of the music. God, he smells so good.
The sun is setting behind the tree line, casting the perfect romantic glow on us. No man has ever gone through this much trouble to make me feel special and it makes my heart soar to know that Edward thinks I'm worth it.
As we dance, a question pops into my mind. "Edward, how did you even find me on Twitter? You know, to see my tweets?"
Edward chuckles when he hears my question. "Bella, you sign for packages for me all the time. It wasn't hard to Google your e-mail and then search for you on Twitter. I've been following you for the longest time; I just wanted to know more about you."
I'm an idiot. Of course, he knew my name.
"Bella, can I ask you something?"
"Anything, Edward," I answer immediately.
"Would you do me the honor of having dinner with me tomorrow night? I'd really like to see you again." He pulls me tighter as if he's afraid I'll say no.
"I would love to, Edward."
He pulls back and looks at me questioningly. "Yeah?" he half-asks.
"Yeah," I affirm and pull his face down to me, pressing my lips to his.
He kisses me back passionately until we are breathless and have to part for air.
"Wow!" he sighs.
"Wow, indeed," I agree.
"Bella, I have one more thing for you if you'll accept it."
"Really? What is it?"
He reaches into his back pocket, pulls out a piece of paper, and hands it to me. As the words on the paper begin to sink in, I'm sure I gasp exaggeratedly and possibly jump up and down a bit.
"Oh, my fucking God; are you serious right now?" I ask him. "This is totally for real?"
His smile reaches his eyes and he nods his head. "Totally for real."
The man bought me a one year subscription to the Bacon of the Month Club. I mean, that is the best fucking bacon you could ever hope for, delivered right to your door every single month.
This is definitely the beginning of a beautiful relationship and I tell him so, right before I kiss him stupid.
And to think, this all began because of a silly bacon craving.
I. Love. Bacon.