A/N: Here it is. Edited and whatnot, though not re-written. Enjoy.
Warnings: Hardcore slash from chapter 2 and on, for now nothing worth mentioning.
Disclaimer: I do not own, do not ears, I just write. All characters and rights belong to Misashi Kishimoto!
"We have a deal then?"
"You got it. And speaking of deals… you sure we couldn't…?"
"Oh come on! I'm doing you a favor here! At least be a good sport and don't ruin the chance of a little…"
"The only thing I need you to do is to get him to do it. Nothing else. Understood?"
"Yes, yes I got it. But I still think that you should reconsider…"
"For the last time, NO! What part of it don't you get?"
"I do get it but I just thought it was a too good of an opportunity and…"
"You and your boyfriend need to get a life and stay the hell out of mine and his."
"But it's just sooooo enticing, you know. Helping you helping him and then…."
"For the last time, damn it! No swinging, no three or foursomes, no watching, no masturbation shows! None, zilch, nada!"
"All right, I'll lay off. Just remember what I want for doing this… little good deed."
"Sigh… I'll get you the picture but you're sure as hell not allowed to show it to anyone!"
"As if! I'm just going to use it in some more… pleasurable ways."
"...I think I just threw up a little in my mouth…"
"Say what you want but I know that at some point in your life you've been thinking about me and my abilities."
"What's with the disgusted look, you jerk?"
"Never mind. Let's just get on with it."
"All right, see you there then."
"Don't screw this up or I'll show you new ways to use that senbon. On your dick."
"No need to resort to threats, Kakashi, I'm a great actor."
"Hey! Don't give me that look, asshole!"
A dazzling sun was about to set; the sky painted with vivid colors in a mix of pink, purple, orange and dark blue, slowly fading into black. Stars could be faintly sighted up in the velvet dome; twinkling more brightly by each passing moment and when the sun vanished behind the horizon its pale counterpart soon, started its lazy, nightly reign in its lonely solitude of the darkness.
The pale light caressed the hidden village of Leaf with ethereal, invisible fingers; lulling the active village into a serene state when the inhabitants started to get ready for bed. A huge tower with the back facing a tall mountain with faces carved into the surface stood proudly in the night; a few windows still lit in the large structure, despite the late hour. The widest window on the third floor indicated that Konoha's fierce protector, the Fifth Hokage was still active with the most annoying of all duties falling on its leader: Paperwork.
Looking closely – or it was really just enough to get within hearing-range to hear the curses – you could see a blond, busty woman in her mid twenties or early thirties, sipping a clear liquid out of a small cup with one hand while tugging at her long hair with the other. Her expression was frustrated, to say at least and it didn't really appear like she enjoyed the blessing – or curse, it depended in which mood she was - laid upon her as the strongest ninja in Konohagakure no Sato.
But this story is not about Senju Tsunade, granddaughter of the First Hokage, one of the legendary Sannin, the best medical ninja in all of the Elemental countries, famous for her strength, temper and incredibly bad luck with anything remotely related to gambling. No move a few windows to your right, three to be exact and now you can see inside the Mission room. This is the area where ninjas of different rank, from genin to jounin – and sometimes even ANBU - venture to everyday – or night- in order to receive a mission as well as handing in reports on already performed ones.
A man working in this room besides his job as an Academy teacher was none other than Umino Iruka. He's one of Konohas most well-liked chunins; a kind, gentle man who sometimes seems far too innocent and naïve for the life as a shinobi. Many people had regretted it dearly though when they had underestimated the scarred brunette, as they had found themselves at the receiving end of his temper, because hidden underneath the gentle exterior laid a core of steel. He was also feared by generations of soon-to-be genins and their elder predecessors. Right now he was seated behind a rather modest looking desk; gazing down at the reports piling on the table with an expression that clearly broadcasted his frustration, annoyance and all in all plain depression.
Iruka was an easy-going person; happy for most of the time and well mannered. He didn't particularly like to shout and order people around, didn't like it one bit actually and would be more than glad to stop with it… If they just could do their damned duty and give him a report that for once didn't look like a retarded monkey with epilepsy had written it, that is. With they he referred to the jounins of Konoha, the finest shinobis of the village which individually was a small army; a deadly force not to tamper with but…
With the job came also a bit of… shall we call it small quirks and general, odd behavior instead of being rude and tell the truth that it's plain craziness? Yeah we'll settle with that. The village was filled with grown up people who all had their own, peculiar habits. A few examples were Maito Gai, a brave man and damned good shinobi; the best taijutsu wielder in the whole Fire country but… He dressed his tall, bulky frame in a skintight, green spandex suit with orange legwarmers, kept his shiny, black hair in a horrible bowl cut and had the biggest eyebrows ever seen. No one would ever ask him to be a fashion editor that was for sure! He also yelled more often than not and had a fixation – a sick one accordingly to… well everyone – with youth and springtime. His favorite hobby was to challenge Hatake Kakashi at all times of the day; promising to take on ridiculous amounts of training if he lost.
Then you had Shiranui Genma; a special jounin, a great senbon wielder as well as former ANBU but… he had an oral fixation with said needles; you would never catch him without one in his mouth and was also ludicrously engrossed in debauchery. It wasn't unusual to walk in on him in action with his lover, Namiashi Raido. The scarred ex-ANBU was actually quite normal but he, like his lover had no shame and they nurtured an unhealthy interest in other people's love lives, especially Iruka's for some unknown reason.
Next you had Mitarashi Anko and she was… well Anko. Loud, sadistic, dango-loving, sultry and dangerously seductive; she was the best in TI – Torture and Investigation – next after Ibiki himself and that man… err let's just not go there. Ever. Nonetheless they all paled in comparison to him, Hatake Kakashi; the biggest pervert in all the land surpassed only by Jiraya the Toad hermit himself. He was notoriously late for everything, slouched around in the village with that damned orange scourge of his; giggling at it on the most improper occasions. He was aloof, bored and uncaring most of the time and viewed everything with sardonic irony that could piss off Kami himself on a good day. But despite all of his obvious flaws he was still one of the strongest ninja alive; famed all over the nations as the Copy-ninja, the only person outside the Uchiha clan to wield the Sharingan eye, also known as the man of a thousand jutsus.
Yes they were just a few of very capable shinobis in Konoha, courageous and feared in combat all over the world. But as matters now stood, the most of these people were – to say it frankly – downright scared shitless of the slender, tanned brunette who ruled the Mission room like their Hokage ruled the village; with a fierce temper and a sharp tongue. Despite that the clock drew closer to ten the room was still filled with people; a mix of jounin and chunins desperately trying to fit into the lines that didn't end with Iruka. It could've been out of consideration – the man's desk was overflowing with documents after all – but no… It rather had everything to do with the killer intent leaking from the slender man; his usually soft, warm brown eyes hard and glaring at the crowd every once in a while.
He looked up from the pile in front of him when a brave soul dared to step up before him; the newly promoted jounin trembling as beads of sweat gathered at his temples when the gaze rose to meet his own, a small frown marring the otherwise attractive face. With an audible gulp he swallowed down a lump of nervousness that suddenly gathered in his throat and slowly passed the report in his hand, which shook along with the rest of him. Iruka frowned a little more when he took the document from the poor man; snickering inwards at his success at the submission he could induce in the otherwise so fearless men and women gathered. He didn't say a word, six hours of this job – actually compared to the seventh level of hell by a few – had began to take a toll on his otherwise cheery mood, as he scanned the report. Finding only a few errors and not really caring at the moment he looked up again and gave the frightening man a smile.
"Thank you, jounin-san", he politely thanked the jounin, who bolted as soon as the words left the scarred man; leaving behind a slightly gaping Iruka. He hadn't thought that he had been that scary, a little KI shouldn't make a grown man quiver when he surely had seen more gruesome sights in his missions right? Iruka shrugged as he went back to reading the reports, the frown returning tenfold when his visual field suddenly was filled with a new report, held by a, pale hand, enclosed in a black, fingerless leather glove.
"Maa…. Iruka-sensei if you keep frowning like that you'll age beforehand", a smooth, dark voice drawled out. Slowly raising his eyes, Iruka felt his right eyebrow twitch when he looked up at Hatake Kakashi and his notorious book; quickly bashing down the small, prickling desire mixed with longing running up his spine, when it reared its head. The silver-haired jounin didn't look up from the manuscript, his single grey eye fixed on the pages as he patiently waited for the chunin to take the report. He stood in his usual slouch, slightly leaning his right hip against the edge of the desk, looking way to casually sexy for Iruka's liking; even if his insides threatened to turn into a pile of smoldering lava due to the desire to push the older man down on his desk and ravish the shit out of him.
However, that urge died a painful death when Iruka took the document and started to check it; his temper making his blood boil as he read.
"Hatake-san…" he began, struggling to control his voice even if he couldn't do the same with his fingers, which gripped the paper in a dead grip; crumpling the material in his fists.
"You do know that this is not a report?"
"Hm? Did you say something?" the Copy-nin mumbled and casted a quick glance at the smaller man, who was seething by now and missed the small stretch of the older man's mask when his lips curled in a smirk.
"Hatake-san! This is a manual of how to treat sexual diseases, not the report you should have submitted three days ago", Iruka said through gritted teeth. Kakashi glanced at him again as he closed the book and put it away in one of his many pockets and then gave the chunin his trademark smile. His eye turned into an happy crescent; managing to successfully convey the happy message to Iruka with that, as the most of his face was covered by a black mask and his hitai-ate was pulled down diagonally over his left eye; hiding the Sharingan from sight.
"Oh? Well then it looks like I took the wrong one." If it had been any other than the aloof Copy-nin being exposed to the glare Iruka sent him, that person would've been obliterated by the sheer amount of venom in it, but Kakashi just looked as un-fazed as usual.
"Where. Is. The. Report?" the brunette growled and rose to his feet with slow, deliberate movements; successfully freezing the rest of the people in the room, who stared at Kakashi with a mix of awe, horror and pity.
"Maa… I could've left it at home… or maybe it was that piece of paper Pakkun ate? I really can't remember but I'm sure I have it… somewhere", the silver-haired jounin mused out loud; collective gasps escaping from the assembled men and women as they muttered among themselves.
"It was nice to know you, Kakashi", Genma addressed the Copy-nin from his position in the line to the left of the pair, shaking his head at the same time. A low growl emitted from Iruka, almost feral and it managed to do what six hours of work hadn't: It cleared the room of people faster than anyone could say – or scream for that matter – "Run like hell!" The smart ones just teleported away - rivaling Uchiha Itachi himself at the speed their hands went through the seals - but the poor souls whose brain function had shut down due to sheer horror, was left with the door. Too bad that approximately twenty people at the same time just can't get out through a normal sized door; it would defy laws of psychic after all. So yells, yelps and over all wails of panic rang through the air when they all fled at the same time, a female chunin ducking out of the way when a panicked jounin made use of a jutsu and blasted a hole in the wall, fleeing out in the corridor while screaming like a girl. Absently Iruka made a mental note to send the bill to the running man but never let his eyes waver from Kakashi's form or steady gaze.
When the people were gone it left the Mission room eerily silent; a few papers slowly fluttering to the floor as calm claimed the once busy space. Iruka still stood behind his desk, being all too familiar with the scenario to be surprised or shocked any longer. Genma, like Kakashi also stayed behind, not scared – not much anyway – by the lithe brunette. He had a promise to keep but made sure to not get in the way. He wasn't suicidal after all.
"Is it really that hard to give me or anyone else working here the god damned report on time for once?" Iruka growled as his heated glare threatened to bore holes into the bored Copy-nin's skull.
"That would be predictable, Iruka-sensei, and I don't do predictable", Kakashi smiled, totally oblivious of just how close he was to death in that moment. Genma wisely stifled the laughter trying to break loose from his throat, coming out as a strangled snort instead, but luckily it didn't manage to distract Iruka from his prey.
"It's not predictable to follow the restrictions and regulations that come with being a shinobi, Kakashi-sensei!" Iruka almost yelled, his face growing redder as his inner temperature rose, missing the heated, one-eyed gaze as Kakashi reveled in the sight before him. "It's our duty to report the status of our missions and we can't evaluate them properly if one is missing, surely you must understand that?"
"Yes, clearly, but where is the fun in that?" Kakashi cocked his eyebrow and his eye twinkled with barely suppressed amusement when Iruka gave a strangled sound and seemed to be seconds away from a cardiac arrest.
"F-fun? You think that this is a joke?"
"No, the fun is to see you riled up like this." This cheeky reply made the steam run out of Iruka, who was left gaping like a fish; desperately trying to find the right words to say… only to be left with very dirty curse words. 'Don't kill the Copy-nin, he's a very valuable shinobi to Konoha', the logic part of Iruka's mind all but screamed when visions of Kakashi and all the horrible things he could do to the man merrily paraded around in his head.
"Kakashi-sensei…" the chunin began, trying his best to keep his voice steady.
"Yes?" the Copy-nin curiously peered at the younger man, trying his best not to laugh at the stony face Iruka put on.
"You have approximately – a glance at the clock hanging on the opposite wall - 14 hours to hand in your report and if you don't…"
"If I don't?"
"If I don't have it in my hand by noon tomorrow, you can say goodbye to your books." Kakashi actually looked shocked at this, at the mere thought of something happening to his precious books; before he smirked under his mask, not letting it show on his eye even if it shone with glee.
"Resorting to blackmail? Surely you wouldn't…"
"Oh I would. Without hesitation", Iruka interrupted with his best 'teacher voice', using the same tone against Kakashi that he used on Naruto when the blond had done something bad. But unlike Naruto – who quickly learned to tread very, very careful around the brunette when he used the voice- the silver-haired jounin didn't know Iruka that well and thus walked right into the trap.
"Just try it, I dare you", he growled when he realized that the chunin was dead serious.
"Your books are safe as long as I get the report", Iruka answered, his voice changing from ominous to sweet, accompanied by an equal sweet smile, even if the warmth never reached his eyes.
"Fine, I'll get it here tomorrow", Kakashi sighed in defeat after staring the other man dead in the eyes for about ten minutes.
"Thank you for your hard work", the younger man beamed and sat down behind his desk; immediately preparing to go home and forget about the day as it had been a downright shitty one. Before Kakashi stepped out of the door – he considered using the hole but wasn't really in the mood to annoy Iruka any more – he turned so he could see the other man. The younger man didn't look up though, so it was with a sigh the Copy-nin left, not noticing how intently Genma studied him. The special jounin then turned to Iruka, who now frowned as he put reports in neat piles in preparation for the morning shift he had been assigned to the following day.
Genma didn't think though that Iruka's mind was on the documents. No he was quite sure that his head was filled with one Hatake Kakashi… Perfect. With a grin he stepped up to the desk, managing to startle the chunin out of his thoughts.
"Ah, Genma didn't see you there", Iruka said and gave his friend a smile, which the older man answered.
"It's all right, just thought I should wait until things slowed down so… here", he lied through his teeth and handed Iruka a poorly written report. The younger brunette took it with a heavy sigh, too tired to scold the special jounin. He just settled with giving the older man a resigned look.
"What is it with you jounins? I've been here for almost seven hours and I haven't received even one report that I could happily file away", he mumbled and looked it over before putting it in the largest pile. Surely to return them to their owners later so they could re-write them, Genma thought. He shrugged though and leaned against the desk, with one hand on his right hip.
"So… Iruka. What's up with you and Kakashi? I thought I saw some sparks flying there, eh?" he leered but was taken aback when Iruka scowled.
"I don't get him", he muttered as a blush slowly crept up over his cheeks. "He's always like that and I swear he's going to drive me to the brink of insanity soon."
"Maybe he likes you?"
The incredulous stare that met that question had Genma trying his hardest not to laugh out loud. It was so obvious to everyone else than Iruka himself that the great Copy-nin was infatuated with him. But if not for Iruka's naivety when it came to matters of the heart – or the body – the special jounin wouldn't be in this position, after all. So it was with a very wide – albeit internal – grin the older man went for the kill, starting with bait.
"So… do you like him?"
"N-no", the younger man stuttered too fast and a heavy blush covered his cheeks as he averted his eyes.
"Then… maybe you would be interested in…"
"I don't want to join you and Raido for a threesome, Genma. Knock it off."
"Too bad… but that's not what I wanted to ask", Genma smiled and looked around before leaning closer.
"You would never be interested in… getting even with Kakashi would you?" he whispered, wanting to cheer when he saw a spark of interest in brown eyes despite the impassive - albeit – blushing face.
"What's there to get even about?" the chunin said with disinterest, even if his usual smooth movements where a little clumsy; his nervousness proved when he dropped a document and was forced to bend down to pick it up; giving Genma a much appreciated view of a very taut and perfectly rounded ass.
"Oh I don't know… for all the times when he didn't give you his reports on time. Or for the one time when he stole your shirt and hid it, which forced you to walk around shirtless under your vest… or the time when he…"
"All right I get it", the younger man interrupted, his blush returning with full force. "So let's say I'll humor you and you tell me what you have in mind…. Not that I'm interested, of course."
"Of course", Genma agreed but was fighting the urge to grin.
"So?" Iruka queried when the senbon wielder just stared at him with a glint in his eyes the chunin couldn't interpret.
"How would you like to make a bet? I hear you were once a prankster of the same caliber as Naruto…" Iruka snorted and put the last documents he needed in his messenger bag and rose to his feet while grinning widely.
"If you think some of Naruto's pranks are bad let me tell you – without bragging – they were nothing compared to mine."
"It sounds like you're bragging", the older man pointed out but resumed before Iruka could be agitated. "So I would like to challenge you."
"Yes. I bet that you can't get a picture of Kakashi's face and publish it in Konoha Kunai in one week."
"That's stupid", Iruka deadpanned and turned towards the door, brushing the older man off but was hindered by a hand on his arm.
"No it's not! Think about it!"
"Yes, it is and I'm not suicidal. Even if I could get a picture of his face he would kill me for putting it in the paper", the chunin said; speaking slowly as he was talking to a mentally disabled individual. Well… Genma was a jounin after all. They're all more or less crazy, Kakashi easily qualified for the first category.
"So you're a coward then? Che… should've known better than to ask a chunin…" A quick glance at the stiff form and Genma sniggered to himself. Hook, line and sinker.
"A week you say?"
"Yes a week and…"
"All means allowed. You get the picture and give it to me and I'll see that it gets into the paper the morning after."
"What's in it for you?" Iruka's suspicions glare didn't faze the older man one bit as he lied, and with a smile on his lips too.
"Are you kidding me? I've wanted to get back at Kakashi for years – I'll tell you the reason later – and I've always wanted to see his face. I swear it's the biggest mystery in Konoha! We even got a standing bet of who's going to see it first."
"And what's in it for me?"
"Didn't I tell you already? You get revenge for all the things he's done to you!"
"Come on… I can see that you want to and I bet that you will have fun doing it too. Just think about it: Umino Iruka, being the first to see Copy-nin Kakashi's face and better yet! Show everyone just how brilliant you and the rest of the chunins are!" That seemed to do the trick as Iruka lightened up and turned towards the older man with his hand extended.
"All right. You got yourself a deal. I'll get that picture in the span of a week and… hey I forgot to ask, what happens if I… fail?" Genma's grin turned into a sly smirk.
"That my friend… we'll deal with if the time comes."
"No threesomes damn it!"
"Fuck!" the older man cursed. "A masturbation show then? Or even a naked picture would suffice or…"
"No, no oh hell NO!"
A/N: Chapter 2 will follow shortly. Till then, please leave a comment!