Batman was mourning the loss of his trusty feline companion, lion. He just couldn't fathom the idea that he had died such a horrible death. Cheering up, Batman decided that felines suck and decided to prepare some microwaved FREEDOM casserole to eat. Upon inserting the dish into his BATCROWAVE, he heard beeping. "HOLY BATALARMS, SELF!" Batman exclaimed, "IT'S THE BAT-SMOKE-ALARM! THERE'S A BATFIRE HERE SOMEWHERE!" So Batman grabbed his bat-extinguisher and ran towards the batstudy. He noticed quickly that the batstudy was BAT-FINE, and decided the alarm had been playing a joke on him. He arrived back at the BATKITCHEN within a few minutes, only to see his BATCROWAVE in flames. "MY FREEDOM CASSEROLE! NOOOOOO!" Batman ejected. He jumped into action and threw his casserole out the window and onto a small group of children. "ALL IS NOW WELL IN BAT-LAND!" Batman joyously stated. Suddenly, Batman was struck by a CRRRRAZY thought. "WHAT IF MY BAT-SMOKE-ALARM PREDICTED THE FUTURE!" Batman flaunted. In a rage, he ran out the door, screaming. He turned around just in time to see his house explode. Suddenly, something appeared to be emerging from the crusty remains of the BATHOUSE. Batman turned his action switch to JUSTICE and shot four thousand machine gun rounds out of his rear end into the area where he saw the movement. "TAKE THAT YOU POTENTIAL VILLAIN!" framed Batman. "WHAT'S GOIN ON" the moving area shouted back. "YOU'RE DEAD, THAT'S WHAT! (BUUUUURRRRN)" Batman spewed in return. Soon, Alfred arose from the ashes of the bathouse. "IM ALFRED" he said. "NONSENSE!" fraggled Batman. Perplexed, Alfred began to dance like a crazy person. "ITS TIME TO EAT MY JUSTICE AS IF IT IS FOOD!" Batman yelled as he ejected his torso in Alfred's direction. The Bat-Torso was flying toward Alfred at an insane speed. "GREAT MONSTROUS CANNED FOODS!" floundered Alfred as his head was taken clear off by Batman's torso.

Satisfied with the day's fine work, Batman decided to turn in for the night. He pulled up the charred remains of his covers as he lay on his charred bed, preparing for dreams of bat-ponies and flowers.


Batman awoke with a Bat-Fright. He could've sworn that he had heard a noise downstairs. He decided to go and check it out. Batman fell through what remained of the floor. He gasped as he realized that his pantaloons were soaking wet. "GASP!" Batman gasped. He looked down. With a sigh of relief, he realized it was just his wife. "HEY DEAR" said Mrs. Batman. "HEY DEAR ALSO" said Mr. Batman. They laughed until bat-tears were flowing down their faces. "WELP, TIME TO DEPART FOR WORK HONEY" said Batman. "OK HONEY" said Mrs. Batwoman.


Batman had just set up shop in his cubicle when a phone call was beckoning him from where his phone was. Batman picked the receiver up "BATM- ERR BRUCE WAYNE SPEAKIN'" he said. "….. IM IN YOUR HOUSE BATMAN- I MEAN BRUCE. –click-". "HMM I WONDER WHO THAT COULD HAVE BEEN" said Batman.


Batman stepped off the bus to see his house, once again in flames. "DARNIT WORLD" said Batman with angers. "NOT SO FAST CAPED MAN OF BATS!" said a voice from behind.