Summary: Semi-Crack, all the pairings between the Murtaugh and Baker family that are possible, and a little family fluff thrown in as well.

1. Sarah and Elliot: Oh, Brother

Jake groaned, watching Elliot and Sarah flirting while he was still there. Not cool. Sarah might not have realized it until now, but there'd been boys chasing her since she started, um, turning into a real girl. With bras and everything. He'd always done the big brother thing, kept an eye on things, threatened to beat up anyone who didn't deserve his sister. Which was pretty much everybody.

After all, Sarah was smart, pretty, and almost as good as an athlete as he was. She didn't nag like Nora or whine like Lorraine or act all smart like Jessica and Kim. And there his soon-to-be ex-best friend was, smiling at her like he thought he actually had a chance, or something. Except, maybe he did, a little. Elliot was pretty cool.

Still—Jake pushed between the two. "Come on, dudes, lets get rollin'." Shooting a warning glare at Elliot, he put a protective arm around Sarah. It didn't matter how cool Elliot was. Flirting with his sister on his turf? Not gonna happen.

2. Charlie and Anne: Ring

She smiled into his mouth as he kissed her, her arms circling around his neck. "What about your dad?"

"What about him? 'Sides, I think we should be more worried about your dad."

"He loves me, you know. More than he shows."

"Hard to tell, but he must have done something right for you to grow into—"

"You going to finish that?"

"Do you want me to? Funny, never took you as someone who liked flattery."

"Charlie Baker, if you think I want you to flatter me, then get the hell out—mmmh!"

She glared at a wickedly grinning Charlie, who promptly stole another kiss before dropping to one knee. Anne caught her breath as he said, "Anne Murtaugh, you are the most gorgeous, beautiful, smart, wonderful girl I know, and the only woman I could ever love. Will you marry me?"

3. Calvin and Lorraine: Party

The thing is, no matter how much Lorraine complains about her family, she really, really loves them. So when she's suddenly alone in New York, without Sarah yelling at her to hurry up or Nora's cooking or Kyle and Nigel to crawl into bed with her during storms—Lorraine has to admit, she's lonely.

She spies Calvin Murtaugh at a senior party, which surprises her because she'd thought him too uptight to want an invite and too unconnected to get them if he did. Her roommate happens to be the host's brother's girlfriend's cousin or something, and Lorraine just couldn't say no after Kaylia went through so much trouble to get them invites. (Besides, this was a senior party, which implied some sort of class.) They'd arrived fashionably late, and someone had dragged Kaylia away the moment they'd stepped through the door. Lorraine scanned the crowd, looking for someone who looked cute, (and sober) enough to spend a couple hours with.

She sees him by the punch bowl, his shirt stained with the liquid, and for a moment her heart skips a beat and she remembers him shirtless at Lake Winnetka all those years ago. "I'm surprised to see you here," she said, walking over, "You don't seem the type."

Calvin turns coolly to her, raising an eyebrow. "Really? You do. I always expected to see you at one of these things, Lorraine Baker, but your freshman year?" He smiled, "Pretty fast work."

Lorraine's cheeks flushed. "If you're implying that I'm a party girl, then I don't know why I bothered to come talk to you," she snapped, "I work hard in my classes, and my parents can't afford my tuition, even with the scholarship, so I work part time every day. This happens to be my first party all semester."

She turns to stomp away, only to have a very masculine arm wrap around her shoulders. "Relax, Lorraine. It was a compliment. Not many freshies score tickets to one of Ramaya Lopez's parties." She can feel the wetness of his shirt and turns to look at him. "You're all wet."

"Yeah, roommate got sloshed and spilled all over me." He lets her go, taking a step back. "Don't want to stain whatever you're wearing—it's nice, by the way." Lorraine grins at him. "You think so?" Twirling a little, she smoothed down the one-piece dress-shirt that ended at her knees in a neat bob. "I designed it to be professional, comfortable, and sexy at the same time."

She's not sure, but she thinks she hears Calvin mutter, "You got that right." She knows she's not imagining the way his eyes sweep her clothes, and her in them. Holding her chin high, she meets his gaze squarely when he looks up, and he smiles at her. "See something you like?" she challenges.

"Very," he replies smoothly, and Lorraine can't help but remember the first time they met and he seemed so much more mature than her. Now, swaying against him as they danced, she hears his heartbeat match her own and wonders when she caught up. Or if she had ever really been behind.

4. Daniel and Jessica: Stereotype

Jessica really hates the term, "dumb jock." She's gone as far as putting up posters and running rallies, all to keep the people at middle, and then high school, from using the term. She's tells everyone it's because she's against the objectifying of athletic prowess and stereotypes, but then he comes for a surprise visit and she throws herself into his arms. With her head buried in Daniel Murtaugh's chest, she complains about how stupid people are for believing that brains are impossible with brawns and good looks.

Her boyfriend just rubs her back until she stops ranting. The next day, he shows up to pick her up from school, and her friends are in total shock. "National youth swimming champion and still manages a 5.0 GPA," she smirks, and links her arm through his as they exit the school.

5. Jake and Robin: Unique

When she turns thirteen, Robin Murtaugh decides she's not going to be confused with her twin sister anymore. So, she drops out of the academic decathlon, the Math Olympics, and the Science Fair, joins "Save Our Environment," and starts volunteering at the animal shelter. She cuts her hair until it's a shoulder-length bob and starts wearing Goodwill instead of designer.

Two years later, she's over her brief identity crisis, and her hair is long again, though she still works with nature, having decided to become a vet after falling in love with her job at the animal shelter. It still annoys her when people call her Lisa—honestly, they're not that similar—but she's gotten used to it.

A month before her sixteenth birthday, her father announces that Sarah and Jake Baker will be staying with them for two weeks. Turns out, they've both placed at the national skateboard competition, and this year's final round happens to be about two blocks from their house.

Robin shrugs when she hears the news. Sure, she's happy for Elliot, who is by far her favorite brother, but it doesn't really affect her. With so many siblings, she learned not to keep the bathroom door unlocked a long time ago. She remembers Jake faintly as a skinny skater boy with a nice smile and cute hair, and sees Sarah as the girl her brother's been in love with since middle school, but they're not really real until she's feeding some homeless puppies and someone taps her on the shoulder.

"'Sup, Robin Murtaugh," someone says, and she whirls around, only to be confronted by a shirtless Jake Baker. When did he get abs like that?

"Mr. Murtaugh says it's time to go in," he says, but instead of waiting, he bends down to sit next to her and offers his hand to the nearest puppy, whistling gently. Robin watches as the animal bares its teeth, but gradually comes over to sniff him. Jake laughs as it licks him gingerly.

It's a hot day, and despite his current shirtless state Jake is sweating, and Robin suddenly realizes that she isn't wearing anything more than a sports bra and booty-shorts. Still—this was Jake Baker. Tall, post-pubescent, and incredibly hot Jake Baker, but still the skater he was when he was twelve and she was nine.

"Come'on," he says, and gets to his feet, offering a tanned hand. She takes it, and he pulls her up easily. "Let's go, Robin."

"I'm Lisa," she blurts out, and for some reason she wants him to call her a liar.

Jake rolls his eyes. "I was raised with twins," he said, "And you think I can't tell you and Lisa apart? 'Sides, you've got a dimple, right here." He touches her chin, "and you were always the one who loved animals. Mark had a crush on you for a long time because he thought you guys would make the perfect animal-loving couple. Now, let's go."

"I'm not hot for Jake Baker," Robin told herself as they walked through the woods, "Not even if he's got a killer six-pack, or can tell me apart from Lisa, or knows where my dimple is—" She's so preoccupied that she doesn't realize he's stopped until she bumps into him.

"Yo, Rob?" he says, looking down at her, "Want to know another reason I can never, ever get you and Lisa mixed-up?" He grinned, "You're the only Murtaugh twin that still gives me butterflies." Winking, he disappeared past the last trees and into the lawn of the house, leaving Robin staring open-mouthed after him.


So, first five pairings are up! These five really weren't too outlandish, and they totally make sense, age-wise. I'll be getting to the less orthodox pairings in later chapters. So, hate it, love it? Tell me what you think, and what parings you would like! Or give me a prompt you want me to do a couple on. (No slash/incest, though a request for family fluff is welcome.)