disclaimer: don't own anything, as usual!
slash, implications of sexual situations, little brother awkwardness
taito, slight takari

between seventeen and twenty.
five times takeru takaishi should have learned his lesson

"I still don't really know why you want Taichi and I to be there," Yamato told his younger brother as they ascended the final flight of stairs to the Yagami apartment.

Takeru shrugged, his content smile unfaltering. "Because it'll take some of the first date pressure off to have you guys there, that's all."

The older blond laughed, mimicking his brother's shrug. "If you say so... but don't blame me if it feels more like your older brothers are babysitting you guys." And with that, he stopped in front of the Yagami apartment, ringing the doorbell with a sense of finality that ended their discussion.

"Hey!" Taichi beamed, opening the door and ushering Hikari out. He called a goodbye to their parents and quickly closed the door behind him, answering the brothers' raised eyebrows with a playful, "We have to get out of here before my mom gets the chance to chase us down with a camera."

"You look really nice," Takeru complimented Hikari timidly, lacing his fingers with hers.

She blushed and smiled, looking down at the ground for a moment before replying, "Thanks! You look good, too."

The four started on their journey to the nearest movie theater, Hikari and Takeru uncharacteristically leading the way while Taichi and Yamato trailed a few steps behind; just as well, the older of the pairs sat in the row behind their siblings rather than beside them.

But as Yamato and Takeru walked Taichi and Hikari back to their apartment, Takeru learned that opting for a double-date had been a mistake. Yamato and Taichi were far more affectionate and cuddly than they had been before, and when Hikari asked what they'd thought of the movie, they looked at each other, blinked, and replied in unison, "What movie?"

Ugh. How was Takeru supposed to compete with that?

"My brother is going to kill me."

"Yep," Taichi agreed, nodding solemnly and earning himself a surprisingly sharp smack on the arm. "Ow! What? It's true..."

"This is partially your fault, you know," Takeru reminded him, trying to gather the pieces of shattered bass guitar from the floor. "Maybe we can fix it somehow. Or... or we can replace it before he comes home."

Taichi laughed, albeit nervously, and lifted the neck of the guitar, which was barely hanging on to the body thanks to the somehow undamaged metal strings. "Superglue?"

"You can't fix a guitar with superglue, Taichi," Takeru deadpanned, staring at the brunet in disbelief. "We're just going to have to buy a new one before he gets out of class, that's all."

"Yeah," Taichi nodded, even though he was fairly certain that basses were expensive and that the chances they were going to find the exact same bass as the one they had smashed were pretty slim. But he was an optimist, as was Takeru, and they were going to fix this predicament they'd gotten themselves into. "We should get going, then! Because I am not spending a week on the couch, Takeru, my libido can't handle that."

"Ugh, gross," Takeru said, burying his face in his hands. "I didn't want to know that."

"Didn't want to know what?" Yamato called from the entrance to his and Taichi's apartment, closing the door behind him and tossing his keys on the nearby table.

"Uh... that... Taichi really, really wanted to take you out to dinner," Takeru improvised, shoving Taichi towards his older brother and trying to prevent the older blond from going anywhere near the living room.

Taichi stared at Takeru in confusion before realization dawned on his face. "Right! Yeah! So... so we should, uh, go. Out. Right now." He nodded eagerly, grabbing Yamato's arm and trying to drag him out the door.

"But I'm tired-"

"Nope, don't care! We're getting dinner!"

Takeru closed the door behind them once Taichi managed to get Yamato outside, , leaning against it and heaving a sigh of relief. "Now to track down that bass..."

"Listen, I am never going to 'put my phone on vibrate,' never mind shove it down my pants, in the middle of class, so you can stop calling a billion times whenever I go," Yamato all but snarled into the phone as it rang (on silent) for the umpteenth time, sneaking around to the side of the building to avoid being overheard by any lingering classmates.

"Um... what?" Takeru replied to his brother's outburst from the other end of their telephone line, turning bright red in the middle of his high school courtyard. "Yamato, what are you-"

"Takeru?" Yamato interrupted, blue eyes widening in horror as the voice on the other end registered, "Ahh-sorry, I, uh, I thought you were-someone else-who has not stopped calling me since I left for class today, so I assumed-never mind, just, just ignore everything I said..."

"Yeah..." Takeru nodded slowly, even though his brother couldn't see it, and buried his face in his free hand briefly, "Right. Yeah. Well, I was going to ask about spending the weekend there, but... I think maybe I'll just call Dad..." Without an answer, partially because he was a little too horrified to continue that conversation, he hung up.

Hikari blinked in confusion a few times as she met Takeru in the courtyard, eyebrows furrowing in concern. "Takeru? Is something wrong?"

He shook his head vigorously, replying, "No, I think I just need to...maybe stop being so attached to my brother."

Hikari giggled. "Yeah, tell me about it."

"You have no idea."

Unfortunately, Takeru still ended up spending the weekend at Yamato and Taichi's.

Well, not exactly unfortunately - it was several weekends later, when his mother was away on yet another business trip, and he was glad to stay with his brother. After all, as relaxed as his dad was, Yamato and Taichi had absolutely no rules and no curfews and were fun to be around.

Except for when they, well, weren't. Like when Takeru walked out of the spare bedroom in the morning to find his brother effectively pinned underneath Taichi on the couch, hair and clothing mussed, moving way too much for this sort of thing to be acceptable when they had house guests. Takeru turned bright red (again), clearing his throat and averting his eyes.

"This isn't what it looks like!" Yamato cried all in one breath as soon as he became overwhelmingly aware of his younger brother's presence in the room, flinging Taichi off of himself and righting his appearance.

"Yeah! Totally innocent, I swear," Taichi agreed from where he landed on the ground despite looking a little disappointed.

"You know, it's really okay if you guys do... whatever," Takeru said, awkwardly as usual, "But... can I get some kind of warning? Or keep it in your room, maybe, or..."

"We really weren't doing anything!" Yamato insisted, triumphantly raising the TV remote into the air, "And now... we don't have to watch soccer!"

"But Yamato, it's my turn to pick what we watch," Taichi pouted, crossing his arms over his chest childishly, "You decided last week."

"Yeah, but Takeru and I have the same taste in television programs," Yamato smirked.

"Well, if Taichi wants to watch soccer, that's fine by me," Takeru added apologetically, scratching the back of his head, and all of a sudden... Yamato and Taichi were fighting over the remote again.

Suddenly, everything made a lot more sense.

In his defense, Takeru thought that delivering groceries to his brother's apartment was a nice thing to do. Yamato had given him a key "in case of emergencies," but Takeru wasn't exactly the type to get into emergencies, so why not use his powers for good? Besides, Yamato was an excellent cook when he actually had food to cook (and Taichi was an excellent cook when there were eggs around), and since Takeru had taken to spending more and more time around the Yagami-Ishida apartment... he wanted to be fed.

In his defense, the smell of baking permeating through the apartment was not any kind of deterrent from the kitchen. In fact, quite the contrary. Wasn't it common sense that if a place smells like there's good food in the kitchen, people will be drawn to the kitchen?

So really, it wasn't completely Takeru's fault when he walked into the kitchen, bags of groceries in hand, to find Yamato and Taichi basically making out against the counter, one of Taichi's hands holding both of Yamato's wrists above his head and the other disappearing somewhere behind Yamato's pink apron. And it definitely wasn't his fault when he dropped the eggs in shock.

Immediately, both of their heads snapped in his direction.

"Uh... sorry," Takeru laughed nervously. "I didn't think anyone would... be home..."

Like any mature young man would do, Takeru promptly dropped the groceries on the nearest empty surface, grabbed the carton of now-broken eggs from the ground, and ran.

As soon as he heard the door close again, Taichi sighed and said, "Yamato, your brother's a real buzz kill sometimes."

Yamato nodded. "Remind me to change the locks."

Author's Note: Confession: I really love "Five Things" fics... which may or may not be because it gives me an excuse to throw together a bunch of really short drabbles, who knows. Confession #2: I never know what to put for genre... hmm.