Marines Guide to Pirates, Pillows and all that Jazz



Lesson One


If you cut down a Devil Tree and replant it, you will be granted the spirit of a Sea Demon and a tree bearing fruit of its power

"Pirate King" Morgan Heller died 45 years after learning this


People always complimented his hair. It was glossy, tidy and apparently felt like silk when one touched it. Noh was not exactly over the moon hearing envious women coo over his head, but it was still a genuinely nice compliment.

At this rate, the compliments were going to die away since he was convinced he was going to be bald by thirty.

His sister always did say that for the men who are constantly stressed, their hair will suffer- usually by going white or thinning.

Noh moaned and ran his hands through his 'beautiful' ebony hair, yes, he could feel the stress already attack his very roots. He was going to become the spitting image of his grandfather in half the time expected. All he needed now was a walking stick and a beard for the finishing touches.

He barely noticed the waitress who was standing next to him.

"Sir?" she said softly, touching his shoulder to catch his attention. "Sir, your... guest is here."

Noh's eyes shot open.

Yes, he was here to have a meal with a guest- a pirate guest.

The story here was that once upon a yesterday, a senile Marine Admiral decided to find any poor sucker of a sailor and hand him the horrific task of becoming a pirate just to see how the blue hell they become so strong and famous. To add to the chaos, the thoughtful Admiral found a real pirate to help the sailor do his 'mission.'

The pirate was presumably The Sleep Walker. A mysterious and dangerous man who raged across the Blues with an unknown, evil conquest. Anyone who had ever crossed his past never lived to tell the tale- or just somehow seemed to be unable to talk about it. That very reason made his bounty poster a challenge to print, leaving no details of a proper photo or name.

Preparing for the worse, Noh nodded stiffly at the waitress.

"Yes, I was expecting someone," he muttered. "Please send him over."

A waiter approached him, carrying a heavy bundle under his arm. The bundle revealed to be a small boy in pyjamas. Yes, that's right. A child. He was wearing a white and blue stripy sleeping clothes, short hair fashioned to a bowl cut and appeared to be sleeping. The waiter awkwardly propped up the boy on a chair.

"He fell asleep after walking in," he explained. "Can I get anything for you two?"

Noh didn't reply straight away. In fact, he was staring so intently at his 'expected' guest that it was as if he did not even hear the question. Before the waiter repeated his earlier sentence, a pair of dark eyes snapped up at him.

"I'd like some wine please, and anything suitable for a... child it would seem. And a lot of wine." Noh was babbling, continuously repeating the word 'wine' under his breath.

The waiter gave him a strange look and disappeared off to the kitchen.

For a moment, Noh sat there deep in thought.

He could just walk out of the restaurant and tell Admiral Tsuka later on he got lost. He could even just ring up the man himself via Den Den Mushi and say he wanted out, or he could ring his father up instead and ask him if he fancied a trip with a pirate. There were not a lot of options to choose from, and he was considering Plan A at the moment.

Before he could bring himself to do it, there was a sudden jolt at the table. The boy had woken up.

He spent a minute getting his bearings, before offering a smile at Noh. "Hello," the boy said slowly. "I'm Koobii Samura."

Noh nodded stiffly. "Yes, I gathered that."

"You must be Noh, right?"

Another nod.

"Nice to meet you Noh... though you're a bit younger than I thought."

Noh almost banged his head against the table.

This child. This child. It was impossible, he could just not fathom it. How on earth this drowsy looking boy be the legendary The Sleep Walker? (Then again, the name actually did suit him.) His pirate name was given for the fact that wherever he goes, all his enemies would have drowned in deep slumber (no, they weren't dead) hence Sleep Walker. But seriously, how? How did that boy-?

Said boy tilted his head.

"Noh, you okay? Or have you fallen asleep?"

The Marine shot up in his seat and flicked his ebony hair away from his face. "With all due respect... Mr. Samura, it is not normal for a person to fall asleep in a public area."

Koobii leaned forward on his chair. "Koobii... just call me Koobii." He paused- well, more like sat there for another five minutes. "In fact, it'll be better off if you call me 'First Mate,' right Captain?"

His words were like icy water, Noh felt more alert than before.

"...what did you call me?"

Koobii let out a yawn. "Captain. Tsuka-chan asked me to take you on an adventure... so I'm guessing I'm the guide, navigator or... whatever I am."

The Marine coughed into a closed fist. "I- er- was actually assuming it was going to be in the other way round," he muttered. "You see, I am... a spectator of all the events which will be following. Besides, I am not leader material."

For a moment, Noh thought Koobii had hit the snooze again.

Suddenly, the boy smiled. "Well, I'm not much of a leader either..."

"I assure you, with your name you will be able to hold more power over our... crew than me," Noh said with what he hoped was a bright tone.

"Nah... you'll do Cap. All you need is charisma."

The waiter chose then to present the drinks in front of the customers; one glass of orange juice in ice, and another filled with wine along with a generous bottle for instant refills.

He wordlessly set everything out and gave a short bow. "Your food will be ready shortly."

When he left, Koobii leaned so far on his seat his chin was lying on the table. He smiled childishly. "So, Noh. Shall I let you in on the plan?"

All the blood drained from the older man's face. He had been dreading this very moment where he gets to hear the horrifying invention Tsuka and The Sleep Walker came up with- and did he mention the pirate was just a child? A child wearing pajamas in public? It could not end well at all.

Koobii took the stifled silence as a 'yes.'

He began motioning with his hands as if performing a puppet show.

"So basically..."

Mr. Waiter walked up to Angry Captain Noh.

"What's wrong, customer?"

"Don't call me 'customer!'" Angry Captain Noh snapped, pulling out a shotgun from underneath the table. "I'm here because I found this fish damn tasty and going to steal the rest of it from this restaurant!"

All the other customers began to cry in fear, but then the Marines came crashing through the door holding the flag of Justice.

"Give up now pirate! You're surrounded!" they called out to him.

Angry Captain Noh merely sneered. "I'm not a pirate yet! You've barely seen me at sea!"

"Uh... after him, men!"

The Marines were quick, but Noh was quicker. He grabbed the cute, sleepy boy sitting in front of him and went tearing down to a harbour where a conveniently placed ship was docked. Angry Captain Noh hoisted the sails and went sailing away, laughing at the Marines who crowded around the jetty.

"Curse you, pirate!" the Marines yelled.

Angry Captain Noh raised a fist. "Try catch me now, fools! The notorious, violent, Angry Captain Noh is now at sea!"

There was no immediate response.

Koobii finally put his hands down. "So, what do you think?"

He still did not get an answer.

"Erm... Captain Noh?"


"Cap, are you okay?"

Same reaction.

"Should I get you your shotgun?"

"NO!" Abruptly the dark-haired Marine slammed both hands onto the table with his body tense and lean. Realizing that every pair of eyes were lingering at his direction, he cleared his throat and forced himself to calm down.

Koobii did not look bothered at all. "So then... you're going to tell me what you think?"

An eyebrow twitched.

"...Mr. Sa- I mean- Koobii, when and how did you come up with that 'plan?'" he asked as calmly as possible.

Koobii was quite pleased with the question. "Well... I came up with the idea of you kidnapping a person... since it'll prove you really are a cruel, heartless pirate."

Aren't you a pirate as well, Mr. Samura?

"Tsuka-chan came up with timing the Marines entry... he said that they'll have to arrive at an inconvenient time... since the Marines always do that."

An Admiral actually that said?

Koobii rested his face in his hands. "And that's that...we talked it over at lunch yesterday, a~and got the finishing touches done right after dessert."

No... no no NO NO NO NO NOOOO!

The world was twisting out of control for Noh.

The Admiral had literally thought this up in a single lunch period yesterday, with his senile father and a deranged child poisoning the already contaminated plan. The very same Admiral who has the world resting on his shoulders.

Noh was ready to throw his own face into his hands but the young pirate boy leaned over the table and patted his head.

"Hey... don't be so worried," he assured. "Believe in Tsuka-chan and me... nothing will go wrong."

You're wrong, Mr. Samura. Everything is already wrong.

"Now..." Koobii passed over a long wrapped object over to Noh. "There's your shotgun."

This is probably going to go terrible wrong, doing two of these stories at the same time.

Anyway, I'm sorry to some of my readers who have sent me OCs but they're not written on below! D: I was being a lazy idiot and didn't copy and save them in a document so when the old PM system went, they went too D: Really, really sorry... submit again if you have the time!

COMPLETELY AU, Luffy does not even belong to this universe, not even Roger for the matter.


What is Available

Captain- Noh by RedxAlert
First Mate-
Koobii Samura by FanFicAA

Ridgel by This Is An Adverb


Yes, there is a reason behind the very short list needed for Marines. There are a lot of ranks and we don't think we'll ever be able to fit every character in fairly from the Marine ranks so I shortened it. I may do need other ranks in the future like Commodores and such, but until then this remains as a close.


Photography team lol Military paparazzi XD I'm kidding, these people are the ones taking photos of the pirates (and paparazzi in disguise)

Bounty Hunters

Gender doesn't matter, specie doesn't matter, you could be a flying fishcake for all we care. Remember, you are on a different team from the Marines- may even be rivals!

Mint Absinthium- by Artemst

Other Pirates

For pirates who could not get main pirate positions will be grouped together to form ally or enemy pirate groups X)

Orca Delphinidae- by Artemst

Hell Pirates

The Pirate King's crew. Two spaces open. Not looking for any particular rank, just some bad-ass characters. The death of the Pirate King occurred ten years ago so you have to at least be over the age of ten as well please. For long time friends, you'll be in your fifties.

Name: first then last






Personality: the more detail, the better- you also have more a chance of being accepted.

Physical Appearance: just the usual, try not give your character multicoloured hair or something... a trademark feature would be awesome

Clothing+Accessories: something unique is appreciated

Weapon: it can have a name :D

Ability: devil fruit and whatnot all here.

Strengths: what is your character good at? What kind of enemy or battlefield suits him/her?
a balance of strengths and weaknesses is essential

History: just to say, this doesn't have to bee too overly detailed.

Like-Not-Like Scale: does your character like Noh or not? 1 for 'I am going to effing kill him' and 10 for 'lets get married!'

Other: since I've probably missed something out

Hope you (somehow) enjoyed reading!