Why did this happen?

I knew you were my friend. I knew you cared about me more than you let on, so why did things turn out this way?

I was such a fool for even imagining that you were worthy of my hatred.

I thought you looked down on me and pitied me, but now I realise that even if it was true, it didn't really matter.

You always came to save me. I became embarrassed each time you helped me out- so much so, that I decided to lash out at you on that day when the Clowns ambushed us.

You wore an expression of confusion as I tried to make you understand that you couldn't order me around. I should have noticed it sooner, that you had no intention of becoming my enemy. You truly did think of me as your best friend or even your brother. I can't imagine how hurt you must have been when I went on a rampageā€¦

I feel like its all clear now. I finally know that friendship is precious and you must do all you can to preserve it. But it's too late now. We can't go back and do things right. Its funny how you regret things when it's all ended, isn't it?

I'm sure you realise I'm a very selfish person. I hope you'll forgive me for all that I've done.

My power controlled me and turned me into a greedy monster, always wanting to change and become greater. It made me disillusioned and it made me think haphazardly.

Kaneda. Please. I don't want to go. I want to set things right. But I suppose we can only start another friendship in a different life. I'll see you again soon, my friend.